Long distance and the first time...

[Elendariel]

I met a man this past summer, we've kept in touch, and now I am making plans to go and visit him for a week in December. We're both single, no kids. We never did have the chance to kiss even, but we've both indicated interest in doing that, and a lot of other things besides (without being smutty or blantantly sexual in our talks).

My question is, for those of you that have done this before... Well. Do you have any tips? Ie... Things you wish you'd thought of before visiting? Things that made everything go smoothly? Ideas for how to keep yourselves entertained without breaking the bank ? Solutions for awkward moments? Any other thoughts? Thanks!

 

[Kenneth19]

From experience here are my tips....

Have money
(For recreational purposes)

Don't rush anything
(Take everything slowly or shit may go sour)

Stay clean
(Like the house and shit)

Relax
(Be calm and you'll think clearer)

Be yourself
(Very important!)

Have everything planned before time
(Like, where you all going to go)

Have condoms
D)


Hope this all helped, good luck.

 

[BertrandRussell]

Any time you plan something, have alternatives in case something goes wrong.

You are combining several things here: romance and lodging. If one goes badly, will you be able to separate them?

Keep your options open. Know where a local hotel is that is within your budget, and how to get there without his assistance. If you two get along well but he turns out to be an incurable slob, you will want some way to keep seeing him without living in filth. Or if he turns out to be dangerous, you will need some way of leaving immediately.

 

[qrayze]

The only thing that bothers me about what you've said is that you are going to meet him for the first time. Is there a reason he can't come to see you first?

Or, how about the two of you meet at a location that's equal distance from where each of you live? That way, you both are sharing the expense and also can take on the full "tourist" mode, exploring a place that is new and exciting for both of you.

Think of how much money you will need, and then double it. Use only a debit card, no cash or checks that can get stolen easily. With a card, it only takes a phone call to stop potential theft.

As far as the physical romance part of it? What I have done in the past is tell the guy that I am shy and if we are going to kiss at all, he will have to be the one to instigate it. Now, i am really not that shy, but this way, we both aren't going to be waiting for the other to kiss first. And every time I've done this, the kiss always happened imediately upon meeting, lol. And from there it went to "where can we be alone?" pretty quickly, lol.

If you two haven't talked about sex and what you both like and dislike, then do it before you meet. Talk about eachothers expectations for the visit. That way you can be prepared for any birthcontrol you may need (for instance, if this guy has never used condoms successfully before, then don't think he will magically get the knowledge now.), and also be prepaired to experience any fetishes. (I don't know about you, but I would want to know if a guy was gonna stick my foot in his mouth...no pedicure would equal a disasterous night!)

Anyways, hope this helps ^_^

 

[Raidne]

As a woman, the first meeting will feel a lot safer and a lot easier if it is on your own turf, so to speak.

 

[JuanVato]

Muy importante to havre a back up plan in case it goes bad.

 

[Elendariel]

Thanks everyone. I have met him before, back in early June, we hung out a few times at a retreat type of thing. Between that and the online talking we've been doing I feel comfortable about it all. I certainly trust this person. I just thought I'd ask here for any other thoughts or tips. There will be some awkward moments I'm sure, and the oddness of seeing each other in person after so long. But I'm looking forward to it.

 

[Tiarra]

Awww... I can't really think of anything to add, but- I do wish you all the best!

Just be yourself, relax and enjoy the time spent together! *hugs*