The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[YoursSINSerely]

and it works to a rousing chorus of
"Round and round went the great big wheel,
In and out went to rod of steel"

http://www.csufresno.edu/folklore/drinkingsongs/mp3s/1950s/1956ca-bawdysongs-vol-6-bawdy-western-songs-%28LP%29/14-the-great-wheel.htm



I put in some suitable lubricant.

and, I have no idea what those two letters spell out.

I put in some pre-lubricated.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, I have no idea what those two letters spell out.

I put in some pre-lubricated.

and the bearings on your bicycle are suitable improved.


I put in a new 5mm Allen Key

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the bearings on your bicycle are suitable improved.


I put in a new 5mm Allen Key

and both Robertson and Philips are miffed.

I put in an IKEA universal tool...

 

[Handley_Page]

and both Robertson and Philips are miffed.

I put in an IKEA universal tool...

and the Universe has been warned.


I put in a fairy ring

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the Universe has been warned.


I put in a fairy ring

and the fairy says "yes, HP, yes I will."

I put in an elven wedding procession...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the fairy says "yes, HP, yes I will."

I put in an elven wedding procession...

And, that's way too hokey for me.

I put in a honeymoon suite in the Poconos.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, that's way too hokey for me.

I put in a honeymoon suite in the Poconos.

and you settle in to a heart-shaped tub for a double-bubble bath.

I put in a romantic hide-away inn in Muskoka...

(and curse google for screwing up the chat feature again!)

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you settle in to a heart-shaped tub for a double-bubble bath.

I put in a romantic hide-away inn in Muskoka...

(and curse google for screwing up the chat feature again!)

and, I pack musk in my overnight bag.

I put in a naughty nightie.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I pack musk in my overnight bag.

I put in a naughty nightie.

and your partner says "get that naughty thing off this instant!"

I put in a night of nudity...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and your partner says "get that naughty thing off this instant!"

I put in a night of nudity...

And, I wonder how the vending crew is going to put a price on NOTHING.

I put in a condom with a huge price tag.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, I wonder how the vending crew is going to put a price on NOTHING.

I put in a condom with a huge price tag.

and it fits just right.

I put in a satisfied smile east of the river...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it fits just right.

I put in a satisfied smile east of the river...

And, you get a satisfied owner of the smile to go along with it.

I put in two tickets for a fall lunch cruise down the river.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And, you get a satisfied owner of the smile to go along with it.

I put in two tickets for a fall lunch cruise down the river.

and the Fall colors are nothing compared to what's happening under the lunch table.

I put in a blue uniform enforcing a blue law...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the Fall colors are nothing compared to what's happening under the lunch table.

I put in a blue uniform enforcing a blue law...

and, it means I'll be sober for one day at least.

I put in a cocktail waitress with a really short skirt.

 

[Handley_Page]

and, it means I'll be sober for one day at least.

I put in a cocktail waitress with a really short skirt.

nice legs; pity 'bout the face.


I put in a plastic picnic knife

 

[Tio_Narratore]

nice legs; pity 'bout the face.


I put in a plastic picnic knife

and it easily cuts the plastic picnic food.

I put in a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it easily cuts the plastic picnic food.

I put in a loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and...

"Thou" has just run off with the cheese.


I put in a wheel of Stilton

 

[Tio_Narratore]

"Thou" has just run off with the cheese.


I put in a wheel of Stilton

and it rolls all the way to Reading.

I put in some good times at the old CBC radio...

 

[Handley_Page]

and it rolls all the way to Reading.

I put in some good times at the old CBC radio...

kinda comes to a halt with the DAB.


I put in a new photo battery

 

[Tio_Narratore]

kinda comes to a halt with the DAB.


I put in a new photo battery

and the Enterprise fires the whole array of photon torpedos at once.

I put in a park at the south end of Manhattan Island...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the Enterprise fires the whole array of photon torpedos at once.

I put in a park at the south end of Manhattan Island...

And, the Duracell company places recycle bins throughout it.

I put in a remote control.

 

[Handley_Page]

And, the Duracell company places recycle bins throughout it.

I put in a remote control.

and the batteries are in a Manhattan trash can.


I put in a deisel generator


[PS. Love the shoes, Babs ]

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and the batteries are in a Manhattan trash can.


I put in a deisel generator


[PS. Love the shoes, Babs ]

and the whole grid gets electrified.

I put in a surge at the central transformer station...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the whole grid gets electrified.

I put in a surge at the central transformer station...

and, I can't help but wonder what is getting transformed.

I put in a toy with the same name.

Thanks, HP! Morning Tio!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I can't help but wonder what is getting transformed.

I put in a toy with the same name.

Thanks, HP! Morning Tio!

and it transforms into a personal massager.

I put in a personal massage...