The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Tio_Narratore]

and you think you could have made a better tasting meal on a camp stove and think that you will the next time.

I put in a bag of Reeses Pieces that I smuggled in my pocket....

and the allergy police charge you with reckless endangerment for possession of peanut butter.

I put in a whole jar of Skippy, crunchy style...

 

[kimbalee]

and the allergy police charge you with reckless endangerment for possession of peanut butter.

I put in a whole jar of Skippy, crunchy style...

ahhh, so I see you decided to ditch the evidence so as not to be labeled an accomplice...

and you get a jar of Smucker's Grape jelly.

I put in the Wonder bread so we can have a sandwich...

 

[Austin8]

ahhh, so I see you decided to ditch the evidence so as not to be labeled an accomplice...

and you get a jar of Smucker's Grape jelly.

I put in the Wonder bread so we can have a sandwich...

and you prefer a Samwich with homemade hippie jelly

I put in something white, not bread!

 

[kimbalee]

and you prefer a Samwich with homemade hippie jelly

I put in something white, not bread!

jeez louise! lol

and you get a kick in the pants.

I put in some soap for your mouth...

hahahahah

 

[Tio_Narratore]

jeez louise! lol

and you get a kick in the pants.

I put in some soap for your mouth...

hahahahah

and Austin's neighbors shout "Rabid Writer!' Rabid Writer!"

I put in a teaspoon of anti-foam...

 

[kimbalee]

and Austin's neighbors shout "Rabid Writer!' Rabid Writer!"

I put in a teaspoon of anti-foam...

and the machine goes on to the rinse cycle.

I put in some nicely laundered clothes that need folding...

 

[Handley_Page]

and the machine goes on to the rinse cycle.

I put in some nicely laundered clothes that need folding...

and they get well wrapped in cling-film


I put in a a small badger.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and they get well wrapped in cling-film


I put in a a small badger.

and a higher ranking constable, a big badger, puts him in his place.

I put in an ardent Beadle...

 

[Handley_Page]

and a higher ranking constable, a big badger, puts him in his place.

I put in an ardent Beadle...

who bangs his staff of office on your toe.


I put in a large Elast-o-plast.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

who bangs his staff of office on your toe.


I put in a large Elast-o-plast.

and the vending machine's internal translator hands you a 3-inch Band-Aid.

I put in some Plaster of Paris...

 

[Handley_Page]

and the vending machine's internal translator hands you a 3-inch Band-Aid.

I put in some Plaster of Paris...

and it blocks up the Seine.


I put in a Motivational Poster

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and it blocks up the Seine.


I put in a Motivational Poster

and it inspires someone to tear it down.

I put in a motivational speaker...

 

[kimbalee]

and it inspires someone to tear it down.

I put in a motivational speaker...

and you get a new set of amps.

I put in a parrot that only repeats the bad words...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a new set of amps.

I put in a parrot that only repeats the bad words...

And, I get a new feather in my cap.

I put in a small child learning how to flip the bird to passing cars.

 

[Handley_Page]

And, I get a new feather in my cap.

I put in a small child learning how to flip the bird to passing cars.

The feathers get lost in translation from one car to another.


I put in some glue for the feathers.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

The feathers get lost in translation from one car to another.


I put in some glue for the feathers.

and they gut stuck on your middle finger.

I put in a Greek fig...

 

[Austin8]

and they gut stuck on your middle finger.

I put in a Greek fig...

and it just becomes a figure of speech

I put in a tub of goat yogurt

 

[xOxCherryxOx]

and it just becomes a figure of speech

I put in a tub of goat yogurt

and paired with fresh cherries and granola it makes a yummy breakfast.

I put in a trip for two destination unknown..

 

[Austin8]

and paired with fresh cherries and granola it makes a yummy breakfast.

I put in a trip for two destination unknown..

and we end up in Hackensack NJ! Huh?

I put in a trip to Everest Advanced Base Camp 64m

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and we end up in Hackensack NJ! Huh?

I put in a trip to Everest Advanced Base Camp 64m

and you find the 5-star restaurant is only taking reservations, for next month.

I put in a gaggle of eco/adventure tourists...

 

[Austin8]

and you find the 5-star restaurant is only taking reservations, for next month.

I put in a gaggle of eco/adventure tourists...

and Russell Brice gives them all a stern lecture

I put in a ice axe

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and Russell Brice gives them all a stern lecture

I put in a ice axe

and the mighty ice tree is felled.

I put in a calving glacier...

 

[Austin8]

and the mighty ice tree is felled.

I put in a calving glacier...

and one crampon goes east and the other one goes due west

I put in a walk in tropical rainstorm with my good ol dog

 

[Dianthus]

and one crampon goes east and the other one goes due west

I put in a walk in tropical rainstorm with my good ol dog

and you get a gift-wrapped flask of that new perfume: Wet Dog.


I put in two pot-bellied jugs of fall flowers.

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a gift-wrapped flask of that new perfume: Wet Dog.

I put in two pot-bellied jugs of fall flowers.

and they get knocked over by the Pot-bellied Pig.


I put in a trip for two to Vietnam.