First try at writing erotica

[jaxsteeples]

. Like being back at fcking school this is.

 

[sr71plt]

It's bad form to post the text of a story on the forum. It's as much published here as in the story file, and the Web owners reserve the right to vet any story posted to their Web site. Posting it here circumvents that. I suggest you delete it.

 

[jaxsteeples]

Saw loads of people had put their first stories here for appraisal. That's what I thought this was. Like a writers critique.


Have I got this wrong?

Have deleted it.

Don't understand , lots of attempts to register and message saying if you upload 'like this ' your story will get lost. That's what I assume happened.

Just want to learn to write without a big fuck about.

 

[sr71plt]

Saw loads of people had put their first stories here for appraisal. That's what I thought this was. Like a writers critique.


Have I got this wrong?

Have deleted it.

Don't understand , lots of attempts to register and message saying if you upload 'like this ' your story will get lost. That's what I assume happened.

Just want to learn to write without a big fuck about.

If it's your first story posting, it will take a while because the editors give those extra scrutiny. If you keep clicking on the "pending" button, thinking that will tell you about the story's posting status, it won't--all it will do is send the story to the end of the submission queue again (so that's something not to do).

The people asking for feedback on this forum provide links to their stories in the file rather than posting the text to the forum.

 

[jaxsteeples]

Thanks for the advice. Have no idea if my work has been sent in.

How do you make a link to your stories file? What is this file?

Bit of neanderthal, still enthralled by this magic light-box I am typing words into. Very good aren't they?

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Thanks for the advice. Have no idea if my work has been sent in.

How do you make a link to your stories file? What is this file?

Bit of neanderthal still enthralled by this magic light-box I am typing words into. Very good aren't they?

erm ... have you submitted it?

 

[jaxsteeples]

Have pressed a submit button and then I think this preview thing comes up, then it says make changes
so really not sure. I made spelling corrections about ten times until every last one of the little fckers was combed out so it should be Ok. ( Go tell your kids when at school learn to spell because not being able to spell will drive you nuts when you need to do it in later life.)

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Have pressed a submit button and then I think this preview thing comes up, then it says make changes
so really not sure. I made spelling corrections about ten times until every last one of the little fckers was combed out so it should be Ok. ( Go tell your kids when at school learn to spell because not being able to spell will drive you nuts when you need to do it in later life.)

does it say PENDING in blue - to the righthand side of the submission?

... and my son is 23, he's left school. he can spell.

 

[jaxsteeples]

Yes said 'pending' in big blue words.

My sons have also left school and they can spell as well. Barstds.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Yes said 'pending' in big blue words.

My sons have also left school and they can spell as well. Barstds.

then you've got a few days. i submitted one on friday and it came up today, so ...

not long.

 

[jaxsteeples]

OK . Normally patient but find myself scratching at wood on writing desk and getting bored. Will go off and practice more spelling . Will not press any more buttons.

'Vehicle' - see, I did it first time.

 

[moralityloophole]

Me too.

Just posted my first as well. A little quickie. Then read the rules and found it was well under the minimum. (and no, it didn't start out with "There was once a lady from Nantucket...") Had to edit and stretch it out a bit.

I like this "jaxsteeples" character. Spilling over with wit. Hope to see the story if it makes the cut.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

OK . Normally patient but find myself scratching at wood on writing desk and getting bored. Will go off and practice more spelling . Will not press any more buttons.

'Vehicle' - see, I did it first time.

yeah, don't fuck with the buttons. it pushes you to the back of the queue.

 

[jaxsteeples]

Yeh , but that PENDING button's just 'there' isn't it, and you get an urge to push it and when someone says don't push that big blue button the urge gets so much stronger. ( You knew that didn't you! )

Somebody stop me.

LitE should give you other buttons to press in the meantime, maybe ones that don't actually do anything to fck anything up, which is more than what half the stuff on internet seems to do anyway.

 

[jaxsteeples]

Got rejected. No reason given. Think my spelling and punctuation needs a firm hand. I have mailed various editors but not heard anything back for a week. To short cut the process , is there anyone
who would like to edit an very original but offbeat erotic story?

The story is about a relationship between two ex-soldiers. They are both traumatized , in different ways and it is a kind of 'love' story.

The male character, Charlie is a veteran of former Yugoslavia. He is divorced and gets his kicks climbing around high urban buildings and repairing them. He lives a peaceful asexual life, detached from any social contact other than work. He's become a gentle hermit.

One day Charlie rescues a succubus, Jasmine, who has collided with a chimney stack on a large Gothic roof . She is trapped by one of the steel cables that held the mast to the stack. She's been on active duty in the USA and is returning to the UK for what she claims is indefinite leave. She requires sexual energy to heal.

Charlie gets her down, plays it cooler than any human ever has done with with a succubus before and a quirky kind of relationship develops. Gradually he learns how to exchange sex for her help on roofs. It's more than that, he likes having her around, but doesn't always show it.

Now, I'm a lot like Charlie except I wasn't in Yugoslavia and I don't have a 'succubus' staying with me. I do have a character that is more or less narrating the story to me. I'm not a natural writer
but what's coming out seems to be very lucid prose- I get the sharp end of a virtual tail jabbing into my thigh if my attention wanders or I don't get a phrase right.

If anyone wants to edit this you will be helping someone who left school at sixteen , missed the classes on grammar and where commas go.

Jax

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Got rejected. No reason given. Think my spelling and punctuation needs a firm hand. I have mailed various editors but not heard anything back for a week. To short cut the process , is there anyone
who would like to edit an very original but offbeat erotic story?

The story is about a relationship between two ex-soldiers. They are both traumatized , in different ways and it is a kind of 'love' story.

The male character, Charlie is a veteran of former Yugoslavia. He is divorced and gets his kicks climbing around high urban buildings and repairing them. He lives a peaceful asexual life, detached from any social contact other than work. He's become a gentle hermit.

One day Charlie rescues a succubus, Jasmine, who has collided with a chimney stack on a large Gothic roof . She is trapped by one of the steel cables that held the mast to the stack. She's been on active duty in the USA and is returning to the UK for what she claims is indefinite leave. She requires sexual energy to heal.

Charlie gets her down, plays it cooler than any human ever has done with with a succubus before and a quirky kind of relationship develops. Gradually he learns how to exchange sex for her help on roofs. It's more than that, he likes having her around, but doesn't always show it.

Now, I'm a lot like Charlie except I wasn't in Yugoslavia and I don't have a 'succubus' staying with me. I do have a character that is more or less narrating the story to me. I'm not a natural writer
but what's coming out seems to be very lucid prose- I get the sharp end of a virtual tail jabbing into my thigh if my attention wanders or I don't get a phrase right.

If anyone wants to edit this you will helping someone who left school at sixteen , missed the classes on grammar and where commas go. Although helping me out with grammar will have it's own intrinsic rewards for you, I could take elements of your deepest darkest fantasies, work on them and polish , until you can see your reflection as if it were black marble.

Jax

i'm no editor but i'll take a look and see if i can spot any problem.

if you open PM's i'll give you an email addy.

 

[sr71plt]

Got rejected. No reason given.

As far as I've seen, that never happens. Look again. The rejection comes in the form of "have you?" questions. Sometimes the answer is that you haven't done anything wrong and all it takes is a refile with a statement in the notes box that the story doesn't do what they (usually a bot) suggested you might have done. When you put something in the notes column, a human editor then looks at it.

But "no reason given"? I doubt that seriously. Everyone who has claimed that in a post has had to recant it, because there was a reason given--it just was in the form of questions.

And a post to the forum on it isn't going to start getting anywhere until the reason is given.

 

[jaxsteeples]

s71plt- it just gave general reasons like punctuation. Thought it was a standard reply. No specific reason given.

geronimo-will PM you

 

[sr71plt]

s71plt- it just gave general reasons like punctuation. Thought it was a standard reply. No specific reason given.

geronimo-will PM you

Can you quote exactly what it said? There would have to be a whole lot of suspected punctuation problems (like are you British or Indian?--the differences in style from the American can set the bot off) for this to be the only reason to reject.

Like pulling teeth here--can't help you pinpoint the problem without knowing what the stated problem is.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Can you quote exactly what it said? There would have to be a whole lot of suspected punctuation problems (like are you British or Indian?--the differences in style from the American can set the bot off) for this to be the only reason to reject.

Like pulling teeth here--can't help you pinpoint the problem without knowing what the stated problem is.

wtf has being british got to do with punc. problems?

 

[sr71plt]

wtf has being british got to do with punc. problems?

Only a problem in that the screening bot here appears to be set up on the American system only, so something like lots of dialogue (where Americans and Brits do different things with terminal punctuation in relationship to quote marks) in non-American style could be spit out by the bot as a problem.

But this is exactly the wheels-spinning these hazy "got rejected for no reason" threads get into. We can only speculate on what the reasons are until they are provided on the thread.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

Only a problem in that the screening bot here appears to be set up on the American system only, so something like lots of dialogue (where Americans and Brits do different things with terminal punctuation in relationship to quote marks) in non-American style could be spit out by the bot as a problem.

But this is exactly the wheels-spinning these hazy "got rejected for no reason" threads get into. We can only speculate on what the reasons are until they are provided on the thread.

i was teasing. i've never had any probs with rejections on that score - and i'm a comma king! i take your point though.

well, i've offered to take a peep; what good it will do though ...?

gotta go work. have a good 'un.

 

[jaxsteeples]

geronimo appleby.

Thanks for offer will PM something over tonight. Sorry I broke off had to go to work myself. Now have figured what a PM is and how to do PM, will try to use it.

So maybe I got bounced out by a yank spell-bot rather than being a totally sh*t writer?

SR71plt

It's you Fcking yanks wot can't spell , nor us. We invented the English language ,see, .... England=English

Our Shakespeare , fcking invented 10000 words and coined loads of phrases , that's just one bloke, and what you give us- fcking words like Hoover ( for example)- wtf kind of word is that? What even rhymes with it? Not a fcking word even it's a half-baked utterance . In fact its not even an utterance is a noise that accidentally fell out of `a persons mouth and someone with a fcking tin ear thought "oh that sounds good, let's go and inflict it on the English."

 

[jaxsteeples]

This is what the message said:

"Please fix the formatting of the punctuation. Generally, the rule is to have no spaces before most punctuation (periods, commas, exclamation points, etc.), and one space after them. In dialogue, there are no spaces between the quotation marks and the text or punctuation of quoted speech. Please read the essay "How to Punctuate Like a Pro" in the Writer's Resource section (link below) for more complete instructions."

Now, those quotation marks to me, look too close to the words- like they are uncomfortably butted-up against them and want to take a half step to the left and right to get some personal space. However if that is how you do it then I'll do it.

We didn't have keyboards when I was at school, so how would I know that?

 

[geronimo_appleby]

This is what the message said:

"Please fix the formatting of the punctuation. Generally, the rule is to have no spaces before most punctuation (periods, commas, exclamation points, etc.), and one space after them. In dialogue, there are no spaces between the quotation marks and the text or punctuation of quoted speech. Please read the essay "How to Punctuate Like a Pro" in the Writer's Resource section (link below) for more complete instructions."

Now, those quotation marks to me, look too close to the words- like they are uncomfortably butted-up against them and want to take a half step to the left and right to get some personal space. However if that is how you do it then I'll do it.

We didn't have keyboards when I was at school, so how would I know that?

that is how it's done, and even writing longhand the quotation marks are hard against.