Hard limits in a LDR.

[tamaran]

I just got out of a ldr with a person who wanted to breach a hard limit. Everything was going well so far until that person wanted me to do something (while I am at work) that I don't feel at ease doing. Is a limit for me only to be breached with the guidance of a real relationship dom. I was wondering in your opinion, did I do good in leaving the relationship? Should I given that person a chance and do it?. I want to hear your thoughts and suggestions please.

Thank you.

 

[Stella_Omega]

My opinion;

You did good in refusing to breach your own clearly stated limit-- It was clearly stated, right?

I'm assuming he threatened you "Do as I say or leave me forever!" So, you called his bluff. More fool he! One refusal should not end the relationship, someone has been reading too many novels.

And he should have known better anyway. Doing something at work that could jeopardize your job-- nuh-uh. He's long distance and can't support you if you get fired.

 

[FloggingMolly]

For me, a hard limit is a deal breaker, whether real time or LDR. Did you ask why they wished to break your hard limit (assuming they knew that's what it was)? How long had you been together? Dd you try discussing it?

 

[tamaran]

He knew it was a hard limit for me. I told him at the start of our relationship. He did not gave me any excuses, he just told me if I did not do it we will be over. I just said, "fine, is over then". From that point on he did not spoke to me again. I think he was trying to get rid of me, but oh well many fish in the ocean. And to answer one of the question he been together for almost a year.

 

[Stella_Omega]

He knew it was a hard limit for me. I told him at the start of our relationship. He did not gave me any excuses, he just told me if I did not do it we will be over. I just said, "fine, is over then". From that point on he did not spoke to me again. I think he was trying to get rid of me, but oh well many fish in the ocean. And to answer one of the question he been together for almost a year.

Sounds like he was, yeah. What an asshat.

 

[Primalex]

I think he was trying to get rid of me, but oh well many fish in the ocean. And to answer one of the question he been together for almost a year.

No wonder.

 

[ecstaticsub]

I just got out of a ldr with a person who wanted to breach a hard limit. Everything was going well so far until that person wanted me to do something (while I am at work) that I don't feel at ease doing. Is a limit for me only to be breached with the guidance of a real relationship dom. I was wondering in your opinion, did I do good in leaving the relationship? Should I given that person a chance and do it?. I want to hear your thoughts and suggestions please.

Thank you.

Just for the record...Some of us in LDR's have a "real relationship Dom". Just because it is long distance does not make it less real. If, however, you didn't take it seriously then perhaps it was less real to you. Maybe it wasn't to him?

Anyway, a hard limit is a hard limit whether in person or long distance. I would never do anything that may jeopardize my job. (my real long distance dominant would never ask me to do that either)

 

[DeepGreenEyes]

I just got out of a ldr with a person who wanted to breach a hard limit. Everything was going well so far until that person wanted me to do something (while I am at work) that I don't feel at ease doing. Is a limit for me only to be breached with the guidance of a real relationship dom. I was wondering in your opinion, did I do good in leaving the relationship? Should I given that person a chance and do it?. I want to hear your thoughts and suggestions please.

Thank you.

I'd say the system worked as it was supposed to.

 

[the captians wench]

Just for the record...Some of us in LDR's have a "real relationship Dom". Just because it is long distance does not make it less real. If, however, you didn't take it seriously then perhaps it was less real to you. Maybe it wasn't to him?

Anyway, a hard limit is a hard limit whether in person or long distance. I would never do anything that may jeopardize my job. (my real long distance dominant would never ask me to do that either)

Ditto everything here.

 

[Adakgirl]

did I do good in leaving the relationship? Should I given that person a chance and do it?

.

Yes, you did. No, you shouldn't have.
and I agree, LDR relationships can be very real indeed.

 

[tamaran]

I did not meant it to sound like that. What I meant was without the physical guidance of a dom I won't do it. I know ldr can be vety real. Thanks to you guys for the coments.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I did not meant it to sound like that. What I meant was without the physical guidance of a dom I won't do it. I know ldr can be vety real. Thanks to you guys for the coments.

I knew that was what you meant

 

[FurryFury]

I would never engage in any BDSM or sexual activities at work. If someone doesn't understand or respect your limits you should not stay with them.

 

[tamaran]

Thanks guys, I will come here more ofte. A lot of good folk in here, thanks..^^

 

[Scotsman69]

Broken

I've broken hard limits in an LDR in which we only meet a few times a year. Aching in shame that I've done so.

Thanks guys, I will come here more ofte. A lot of good folk in here, thanks..^^

 

[Stella_Omega]

I've broken hard limits in an LDR in which we only meet a few times a year. Aching in shame that I've done so.

Wow. Thank you for this statement.