The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[Handley_Page]

(how did you know? )

you get two pairs of cut-off shorts

I put in a box of paper recyling

and it turns into pink toilet tissue.


I watch the cyclists on the track.

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it turns into pink toilet tissue.


I watch the cyclists on the track.

and, they go round and round like the wheels on the bus.

I put in a windshield wiper.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, they go round and round like the wheels on the bus.

I put in a windshield wiper.

and it keeps time for me and Bobby McGee.

I put in a National Guitar...

 

[Handley_Page]

and, they go round and round like the wheels on the bus.

I put in a windshield wiper.

but she has to run hard to keep up.


I put in a 1937 Morris hub-cap.

 

[Austin8]

and it keeps time for me and Bobby McGee.

I put in a National Guitar...

and you get...

Play me a song Curtis Lowe, hey Curtis Lowe
I got your drinkin money,
tune up your dobro,
people said he was useless, them people all were fools,
'cause Curtis Lowe was the finest picker to ever play the blues.

I put in a Confederate Battle Flag sticker

 

[Austin8]

but she has to run hard to keep up.


I put in a 1937 Morris hub-cap.

and a collector at the Royale Auto Club calls the police

I put in a chocolate cake

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and you get...

Play me a song Curtis Lowe, hey Curtis Lowe
I got your drinkin money,
tune up your dobro,
people said he was useless, them people all were fools,
'cause Curtis Lowe was the finest picker to ever play the blues.

I put in a Confederate Battle Flag sticker

and Sherman starts marching all over again.

I put in Fort Pickens...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and Sherman starts marching all over again.

I put in Fort Pickens...

And, I'm a picken and a grinnen.

I put in a fiddle.

 

[Austin8]

And, I'm a picken and a grinnen.

I put in a fiddle.

and you get a Wild wood Flower

I put in a Flat and Scruggs 45 rpm record

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you get a Wild wood Flower

I put in a Flat and Scruggs 45 rpm record

and, my record player is missing that little plastic thingy.

I put in a 78 of The Coal Miner's Daughter.

 

[Austin8]

and, my record player is missing that little plastic thingy.

I put in a 78 of The Coal Miner's Daughter.

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:RLLEaHSr_m0LHM:http://richd.com/icon/record-preview.jpg

I put in a Loretta Lynn guitar pick

 

[Tio_Narratore]

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:RLLEaHSr_m0LHM:http://richd.com/icon/record-preview.jpg

I put in a Loretta Lynn guitar pick

and you get a SCruggs Peg for your 5-string.

I put iin a recording of Bascom Lamar Lunsford's version of "Li'l Margret"...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

http://t0.gstatic.com/images?q=tbn:RLLEaHSr_m0LHM:http://richd.com/icon/record-preview.jpg

I put in a Loretta Lynn guitar pick

.....

 

[Handley_Page]

.....

(I put in a line of full stops)


and the pick-up fails.


I put in a G string to be picked.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

(I put in a line of full stops)


and the pick-up fails.


I put in a G string to be picked.

and it makes quite the "Air."

I put in a resounding "Oh freunde, nicht diese tone"...

 

[Austin8]

and it makes quite the "Air."

I put in a resounding "Oh freunde, nicht diese tone"...

and you get a Waylon Jennings song, "Will the Wolf Survive

I put in a 1936 Martin D 17, flat-top in "like new" condition

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get a Waylon Jennings song, "Will the Wolf Survive

I put in a 1936 Martin D 17, flat-top in "like new" condition

and you get Eric Clapton to play it (or Segovia)

 

[Austin8]

and you get Eric Clapton to play it (or Segovia)

Sweet! Thanks Hp!

and you get back stage passes to the Ten Years After Reunion Tour

I put in a Buddy Miles broken drumstick

 

[kimbalee]

Sweet! Thanks Hp!

and you get back stage passes to the Ten Years After Reunion Tour

I put in a Buddy Miles broken drumstick

and you get a roll of duct tape because it fixes everything.

I put in a bucket of cherries...

 

[Arsomnia]

and you get a roll of duct tape because it fixes everything.

I put in a bucket of cherries...

And you hear a popping sound.

I put in a blank CD.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

And you hear a popping sound.

I put in a blank CD.

and all the songs are in blank verse.

I put in a live, al fresco performance of the Goofing Off Suite...

 

[Austin8]

and all the songs are in blank verse.

I put in a live, al fresco performance of the Goofing Off Suite...

and I cruise back up and get my bucket of cherries, that my cutey picked for me

and you get a refreshing Fresca

 

[kimbalee]

and I cruise back up and get my bucket of cherries, that my cutey picked for me

and you get a refreshing Fresca

ahhh, I wasn't aware that the vending machine was also able to time travel. good to know.

the machine gives you a glass with ice.

I put in a chew toy for a new doggie...

 

[Austin8]

ahhh, I wasn't aware that the vending machine was also able to time travel. good to know.

the machine gives you a glass with ice.

I put in a chew toy for a new doggie...

and she licks your face

I put in a Beggin' Strip

 

[kimbalee]

and she licks your face

I put in a Beggin' Strip

and the machine starts shooting out little slips of paper that says, "Bacon! I smell bacon!" and wags its tail. who knew the machine had a tail?

I put in some home made pickles...