The 'Stupid Topic' Arena!

[Evil_Geoff]

Inspired by the brilliance of chy_girl, I am opening the Stupid Topic Arena!

Come one, come all, take a tumble here with anyone over anything. Mock the guilty, share your excess, drink whiskey, eat popcorn, pee on the flaming gerbil while screaming "ARMAGEDDON!"*, share your favorite co-ed naked jello wrestling recipes, and enjoy the show!


*kudos to anyone who gets the reference...

ETA: Okay... I know this sounds more like a Playground Topic but WTF? I figure we can have fun here in the Cafe' too....

 

[ImOnIt]

Evil Geoff, will you brake my contract? Break it in two, break into it, repair its leaking brake line hose? It's out of control that contract is.

Im scared. Hold me.

 

[fuckmeat]

Don't you know you can never brake a contract? If you do you're not a true submissive and your relationship becomes less than lifelong, making it utterly abusive.

 

[ImOnIt]

Pfft youre jealous of my grasp of cause and causality that makes you a casual casualty. It was brought on by your own doing.

YOU can never brake a contract but I, I have powers greater than you can imagine.

 

[fuckmeat]

And yet you need the greater and more terrible EG to brake your contract for you and snuggle you during the subdrop? You sound like a casualty to me.

 

[ImOnIt]

Greatest! and MOST terrible!

We do not deal in half measures here in this, the arena of stupid topics.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

ImOnIt... If your regular attempts to brake your contract fail, try the emergency foot brake or handbrake. Contracts are now required by the Department of Commerce to have emergency brakes under the Contract Safety Act of 2006.

If that doesn't work, and your contract keeps going, shift into neutral if you have an automatic contract, or engage the clutch if you drive a manual. Unless you are going downhill.

In which case taking the contract out of gear will make you really take off like the handbasket to hell.

I'll discuss Twoo Slaves in another post.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Twoo slaves® are the uberest, mostest, bestest of slaves.

Unfortunately they are extremely hard to find in the wild. This is because of all the Twoo Dominates® pronouncing so many conflicting requirements that finding a slave mentally flexible enough to incorporate all the paradoxical requirements generally means you've found a slave with the IQ of an omelet. I was about to say "eggplant" but realized eggplant's are firmer. And most slaves are far, FAR too intelligent to fall for that "you aren't a Twoo slave® unless you <insert requirement here>" line of BS.

Most of us regular PYLs have to settle for regular pyls, since we aren't Twoo®.

 

[Essene]

ImOnIt... If your regular attempts to brake your contract fail, try the emergency foot brake or handbrake. Contracts are now required by the Department of Commerce to have emergency brakes under the Contract Safety Act of 2006.

If that doesn't work, and your contract keeps going, shift into neutral if you have an automatic contract, or engage the clutch if you drive a manual. Unless you are going downhill.

In which case taking the contract out of gear will make you really take off like the handbasket to hell.

I'll discuss Twoo Slaves in another post.

Do you think this was a voidable contract due to fraud by the untwoo submissive? Would you consider the remedy to be pwomissory estwoppel, or qwawsi-contwact?

(Yes, I'm pwocrwastwinating on studying my text book on contwact law. - Eh such dwy subject matter.)

 

[YourCaptor]

Does it make me a slut if I ... ?

I've been wanting to make that topic for a while, but for all the wrong reasons.

Nothing makes me laugh harder then when some pore girl confesses one of these. Seriously, like crying funny.

One more reason why I'll never be a therapist.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Yes, it makes you a slut...

I've been wanting to make that topic for a while, but for all the wrong reasons.

Nothing makes me laugh harder then when some pore girl confesses one of these. Seriously, like crying funny.

One more reason why I'll never be a therapist.

You are obviously a laughter slut. This is perfectly Normal, just like the setting on your dishwasher. You know, the one between Heavy Soil (Soil? In a dishwasher? I don't know about anyone else but I would never put dirt in a dishwasher...) and Light.

I laugh at the sluts too.

 

[DVS]

Do you think this was a voidable contract due to fraud by the untwoo submissive? Would you consider the remedy to be pwomissory estwoppel, or qwawsi-contwact?

(Yes, I'm pwocrwastwinating on studying my text book on contwact law. - Eh such dwy subject matter.)

Dwy subject matter? Are you also dwy, er dry? If your Dom isn't sufficiently shifting your sexual drive into gear, that could be a way to "brake" your contract.

If this is the case, I'd suggest you pull over to the side of the road at your earliest convenience and let your Dom know that you're low on oil. It's not only a way to break a voidable contract, it's very unsafe to drive a submissive that's low on sexual oil.

This is not onwy qwazy, but qwite wedicuwus. Make swure wour Dwom pwomisses to swufficientwy wubbercate wou in the fwustwer.

 

[Angelcakekatie]

Oh that did make me smile! lol
Part of me wishes I could write something funny whilst wolling my rrs wight now but it's too early.

 

[Evil_Geoff]

Bettah eawly than eewwie... The cweepy, eewwie shit bothuhs me...

 

[bridgeburner]

"Oh! It's twoo! It's twoo!"
"Lady, quit sucking on my elbow."

 

[Seurat]

"Oh! It's twoo! It's twoo!"
"Lady, quit sucking on my elbow."

Best edited line. Ever.