The Author's Hangout Vending Machine

[YoursSINSerely]

and a frenzy of strawberry-inspired lust sweeps over Lit.

I put in a whole array of licentious Summer Solstice celebrations...

and, it begins with a strawberry shortcake and ends with a special dessert.

I put in a bowl of real whipped cream.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, it begins with a strawberry shortcake and ends with a special dessert.

I put in a bowl of real whipped cream.

and then find yourself covered with it.

I put in a man with a taste for whipped cream...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and then find yourself covered with it.

I put in a man with a taste for whipped cream...

and, he's one of the few in the world who can roll his tongue in the shape of a tube.

I put in a woman who can.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, he's one of the few in the world who can roll his tongue in the shape of a tube.

I put in a woman who can.

and you find that the tongue-rolling mutation is not that rare.

I put in the bent-little-finger mutation...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and you find that the tongue-rolling mutation is not that rare.

I put in the bent-little-finger mutation...

and, you find that goes back to ancient England for drinking from a teacup for too long.

I put in two tickets to Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, you find that goes back to ancient England for drinking from a teacup for too long.

I put in two tickets to Ripley's Believe it or Not Museum.

and the ticket-taker doesn't believe the tickets are real.

I put in a gullible public...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and the ticket-taker doesn't believe the tickets are real.

I put in a gullible public...

and, I'm freakishly shocked at your comment.

I put in my own little make-believe world.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, I'm freakishly shocked at your comment.

I put in my own little make-believe world.

and it comes with a garden of motile morels.

I put in a very pleased fairy...

 

[YoursSINSerely]

and it comes with a garden of motile morels.

I put in a very pleased fairy...

and, Tinkerbell lives on.

I put in a pile of dust.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and, Tinkerbell lives on.

I put in a pile of dust.

and suddenly we're all flying, or at least very high.

I put in a visit from the FDA people...

 

[Handley_Page]

and suddenly we're all flying, or at least very high.

I put in a visit from the FDA people...

and scientists with dust cloths.

I put in a negative report

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and scientists with dust cloths.

I put in a negative report

and get a negative response to make everything positive.

I put in a faulty truth table...

 

[Handley_Page]

and get a negative response to make everything positive.

I put in a faulty truth table...

and it gets used by the Hearings on Capitol Hill.

I put in a really honest politician.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and it gets used by the Hearings on Capitol Hill.

I put in a really honest politician.

and the truth table falls on the floor laughing.

I put in a longing for the Rhinoceros Party...

 

[Handley_Page]

and the truth table falls on the floor laughing.

I put in a longing for the Rhinoceros Party...

all you get is a white elephant.


I put in a Cape Buffalo

 

[Tio_Narratore]

all you get is a white elephant.


I put in a Cape Buffalo

and you get Boer style mozarella for your Pizza Margharita.

I put in lunch at a little bistro in the shadow of Pisa's campanile...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you get Boer style mozarella for your Pizza Margharita.

I put in lunch at a little bistro in the shadow of Pisa's campanile...

you lead; I follow. Never been there.

I put in Breakfast at the Queen's Hotel, Leeds.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

you lead; I follow. Never been there.

I put in Breakfast at the Queen's Hotel, Leeds.

and you lead the way to Leeds.
I'm afraid I only know my way around London City, Camden Town, and University College.

I put in some bangers and mash with an ale at the Euston Flyer...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you lead the way to Leeds.
I'm afraid I only know my way around London City, Camden Town, and University College.

I put in some bangers and mash with an ale at the Euston Flyer...

as it flies up the M1 to Leeds. Round the ring road into the centre and park in their Car Park. Admire the statue of the Black Prince and go in for a culinary breakfast of world-beating proportions.


I put in a glass of real orange juice.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

as it flies up the M1 to Leeds. Round the ring road into the centre and park in their Car Park. Admire the statue of the Black Prince and go in for a culinary breakfast of world-beating proportions.


I put in a glass of real orange juice.

and I know where I'll breakfast next trip across the pond.

I put in a gallon of real Quebec maple syrup...

 

[Handley_Page]

and I know where I'll breakfast next trip across the pond.

I put in a gallon of real Quebec maple syrup...

and I cannot find a cook who can do proper pancakes.


I put in an Imperial gallon of good English Ale

 

[Tio_Narratore]

and I cannot find a cook who can do proper pancakes.


I put in an Imperial gallon of good English Ale

and the VM is pleased to get a full gallon, not one of those measly American gallons.

I put in some crepes de sarassin, a la mode du Quebec...

 

[Handley_Page]

and the VM is pleased to get a full gallon, not one of those measly American gallons.

I put in some crepes de sarassin, a la mode du Quebec...

not a clue what it is, but it sounds nice.


I put in a thunderstorm

 

[Tio_Narratore]

not a clue what it is, but it sounds nice.


I put in a thunderstorm

and you find shelter in a gazebo already housing a lovely young woman in a dripping wet dress and needing someone to keep her warm.

(Quebec style buckwheat pancakes)

I put in a dry divan for the gazebo...

 

[Handley_Page]

and you find shelter in a gazebo already housing a lovely young woman in a dripping wet dress and needing someone to keep her warm.

(Quebec style buckwheat pancakes)

I put in a dry divan for the gazebo...

and I notice that there is a towelling robe to hand, just her size.
Pity she's gay and truly hates men. . . . .


I put in a large glass marble.

[erm - buckwheat? ]