New here

[Acester]

Hello, I'm very new to the BDSM. I'm trying to be more dominant in my relationship with my GF. its very hard considering that I really dont know what to do, but i want to learn. i read some of the library stuff and plan on reading more. i would love to hear other peoples opinions and views on dominant/submissive relationships and if you have one, what you consider is a good place to start

 

[ImOnIt]

Welcome! Is your GF a member of this board already?

If what you describe refers to activities in bed, the term 'top' might be a better label! You can learn about such wonderful things in our extensive library and by browsing existing material.

 

[Acester]

Welcome! Is your GF a member of this board already?

If what you describe refers to activities in bed, the term 'top' might be a better label! You can learn about such wonderful things in our extensive library and by browsing existing material.

Yea she is. and she has said that she likes the BDSM lifestyle in both life and bed. I am reading the library as well. just wanted to see what other people thought. I think sometimes its better to read other peoples views as well as books and stuff.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

Hello, (1) I'm very new to the BDSM. I'm trying to be more dominant in my relationship with my GF. (2) It's very hard considering that I really dont know what to do, but i want to learn. i read some of the library stuff and plan on reading more. i would love to hear other peoples opinions and views on dominant/submissive relationships and if you have one, (3) what you consider is a good place to start

First, welcome to the board. As ImOnIt said, the library is a good place to start, and also to continue There is an absolute wealth of good information and discussions in there, as well as here in the Talk forum, and even in the Café, which is more informal and far-ranging, but which often posts startling little gems of information and ideas.

There are, however, three things about your post that cause me to inquire:
(1) WHY are you "trying to be more dominant in [your] relationship with [your] GF?" Is it something you've heard about and think sounds fun, kinky, interesting? Is it something she's requested, or even hinted about? What's your motivation?

(2) To discover "what to do," look inside yourself, inside her psyche and attitude, and inside your existing relationship. The only successful basis for *any* relationship (and oftentimes, even moreso for a "kinky" relationship) is to find the parts of your minds and hearts that mesh and emphasize activities and attitudes that provide positive reinforcement.

(3) What *we* may consider "a good place to start" may not work at all for you. Example: Some here have BDSM/kink relationships that are based exclusively on the Daddy/daughter dynamic; others, the Master/slave dynamic; others, the Sadist/masochist dynamic; others, some combination of two or more of these "basic" relationships (or others that fall under the kink umbrella). *My* start was pre-memory, as mentioned here before: At age 3, I was spanking little girls. Spanking is *STILL* a major part of any BDSM relationship in which I indulge.

Essentially, what I'm saying is that you need first to explore the inner depths of both yourself and your partner, to determine what "floats your boats," and then, when you have reached agreement on the bases on which you will operate, people here may be able to offer you more relevant advice on specific activities and actions.

Good luck to you.

 

[fuckmeat]

Welcome Acester.

You might find a BDSM checklist like this one a good way of deciding how to give your partner the kind of domination she wants. You both fill one out and then you can sit and compare notes. Once you have reached agreement on what she'd like to experiment with and what you're comfortable with doing, finding where to start will get a lot easier.

 

[Black_Bunny]

It's great that you are eager to learn, whether if its to please your girlfriend of for yourself. I've just begun a Dominant/submissive relationship with my boyfriend, he's experienced in BDSM but I'm new to it all. He's constantly asking what I'd like to see how he can incorporate it into things - he sets it as a 'task' for me to perform eg read stories and tell him the bits I like, write him a list etc. It's a great way for him to learn how to please me while still maintaining control. During play, order her to do things, and let her know how much it pleases you when she does a good job of it - well that would appeal to my submissive side anyway

 

[Acester]

First, welcome to the board. As ImOnIt said, the library is a good place to start, and also to continue There is an absolute wealth of good information and discussions in there, as well as here in the Talk forum, and even in the Café, which is more informal and far-ranging, but which often posts startling little gems of information and ideas.

There are, however, three things about your post that cause me to inquire:
(1) WHY are you "trying to be more dominant in [your] relationship with [your] GF?" Is it something you've heard about and think sounds fun, kinky, interesting? Is it something she's requested, or even hinted about? What's your motivation?

(2) To discover "what to do," look inside yourself, inside her psyche and attitude, and inside your existing relationship. The only successful basis for *any* relationship (and oftentimes, even moreso for a "kinky" relationship) is to find the parts of your minds and hearts that mesh and emphasize activities and attitudes that provide positive reinforcement.

(3) What *we* may consider "a good place to start" may not work at all for you. Example: Some here have BDSM/kink relationships that are based exclusively on the Daddy/daughter dynamic; others, the Master/slave dynamic; others, the Sadist/masochist dynamic; others, some combination of two or more of these "basic" relationships (or others that fall under the kink umbrella). *My* start was pre-memory, as mentioned here before: At age 3, I was spanking little girls. Spanking is *STILL* a major part of any BDSM relationship in which I indulge.

Essentially, what I'm saying is that you need first to explore the inner depths of both yourself and your partner, to determine what "floats your boats," and then, when you have reached agreement on the bases on which you will operate, people here may be able to offer you more relevant advice on specific activities and actions.

Good luck to you.

Thanks for the post.
1. Im trying to be more dominant because I want to give her the lifestyle that of a 50's woman. Being a stay at home mom/wife. I really want to give that to her. I want to be able to provide for my family so she can have that lifestyle.
2. Thank you for the information.
3. I really like the daddy/daughter, but i also like it when we do mommy/son. Spanking is definately good for us.
I will definately be exploring more about this topic and reading as much as i can to help me. Appreciate the post greatly, thank you.

 

[Acester]

Welcome Acester.

You might find a BDSM checklist like this one a good way of deciding how to give your partner the kind of domination she wants. You both fill one out and then you can sit and compare notes. Once you have reached agreement on what she'd like to experiment with and what you're comfortable with doing, finding where to start will get a lot easier.

Greatly appreciated thank you

 

[Acester]

It's great that you are eager to learn, whether if its to please your girlfriend of for yourself. I've just begun a Dominant/submissive relationship with my boyfriend, he's experienced in BDSM but I'm new to it all. He's constantly asking what I'd like to see how he can incorporate it into things - he sets it as a 'task' for me to perform eg read stories and tell him the bits I like, write him a list etc. It's a great way for him to learn how to please me while still maintaining control. During play, order her to do things, and let her know how much it pleases you when she does a good job of it - well that would appeal to my submissive side anyway

Thats awesome, i wish for the best for you two. She loves it when i tell her to do things. I love it when she listens and i tell her how happy i am when she does. Setting tasks, i think, is a great thing to do and very successful in my opinion.