fantasy vs reality

[FloggingMolly]

Stella_Omega mentioned that there are an awful lot of people who equate bdsm with bodice-ripping romances. I thought it'd be interesting to do some comparisons. Prizes go to those who have things that have genuinely happened to them

(this is not intended as a 'bashing' of people's beliefs thread, its more for light-hearted comedy value.)

Fantasy: You meet as he gallantly pushes you out of the path of an oncoming car, or saves you from drowning, or gives you the heimlich manuvere when you're turning blue.
Reality: You meet through random friends, in a boring work setting or online.

Fantasy: The minute your eyes meet, you know he's the Dom for you.
Reality: You have no concept of the role he'll take in your life, or even if you'll ever cross paths again. No cherubs, no 'magic spark', just plain human interaction.

Fantasy: Picking up your first collar in a pet store will be a deep, intensly sexual, momentous moment
Reality: You'll be fidgetting nervously, trying to figure out how to try it on without attracting attention whilst other peoples aggro children run around screaming, people barge you out of the way, and the cashiers look at each other and snigger.

 

[FurryFury]

Great stuff! So true.

 

[the captians wench]

Okay, I'll play.

My experience buying a collar in the pet store was a mix of the two examples you gave. But then I'm a huge attention whore and I don't mind people staring at me, infact I incourage it. I tried it on and even looked about as if I was looking for a mirror. *giggles*

And one of my first BDSM experiences was with knife play, and an impromptu scene streight out of a bodice ripping romance. Infact, my bodice was cut off of me, or at least the laces were cut, still great effect, huge mind fuck.

And my first meeting with Jounar was much like any fairy tale, but not how I expected.

Fantasy: I would stop in the ladies room, brush my teeth, fix my hair, and change along with adding make up so that his first sight of me would be of utmost perfection.
Reality: I was so tired after working at 4am my local time, then catching a flight at 4pm my local time, changing planes twice, getting lost durring my London transfer, and finally ariving in Dublin at 3pm local time the next day that I didn't even brush my hair out, leaving it in a messy braid and looking like I'd slept in my clothes, which I had.

Fantasy:Our eyes meet from across the crouded airport with instant recognition. I run into his arms and the airport comes to a stand still at the sight of the long passionate kiss we share
Reality: I was grumpy and felt lost in the airport still 3 times the size of the only one I've known before this trip. I looked around not sure what I was looking for and heard an uncertain voice call my name. I looked up and saw him coming towards me and melted into him as soon as he was close enough. I was so unsure about my surroundings that I didn't even let go of my bags as he held me close, leaned my chin up and kissed me. And I was so mentally lost that I barely noticed this was our first kiss, looked up at him with tears at the edge of my eyes and said "they lost one of my bags" with a quivering lip.

I've been pretty lucky in that most of my BDSM experience has been like any fantasy that I ever wished for, and even those that weren't still weren't far from it. If we were living together, I'd be one of those "fantasy subs" that spends the day doing chores in the nude with periodic periods of clamped nipples to make my chores a bit more challenging.

 

[Black_Bunny]

Fantasy: Cuddling together on the couch, he looks into your eyes and says "I've got something for you." With that he reaches into his bag and pulls out a beautiful collar. He clips it around your neck and declares that you will now be his forever.

Reality: Cuddling together on the couch, he looks into your eyes and says "I've got something for you." With that he unzips his pants, pulls out his cock and orders you to suck it.
(Hey, I didn't say it was a bad reality )

 

[Cattypuss]

This happened to a friend of mine back when the Hagen Dazs adverts on TV featured ice-cream in sex-play (mid-90s??)... she suggested, all nudge-nudge, wink-wink, that her man get some ice-cream for them to "share".

He came back from the shop with an Arctic Roll.

 

[shamegirl]

Fantasy You share a bottle of wine, uninhibiting you both to play out your darkest desires.

Reality You share a bottle of wine and drunkenly attempt a scene which ends in one of you sustaining an embarrassing injury before climax. The injured party ends up haveng to explain to their work colleagues why they're sitting funny.

 

[00Syd]

Fantasy: He comes home and immediately wraps you in a fierece embrace, preparing to ravish you with the intensity of a thousand suns.

Reality: He comes home and immediately wraps himself in a blanket, preparing to watch Law and Order for a few hours before falling asleep.

 

[FloggingMolly]

These are excellent!

 

[satindesire]

This thread makes me lol

Fantasy- For your birthday, he secretly arranges a shopping trip where he takes you to La Perla and spends several hundred dollars on high class lingerie. Then, he sweeps you via limousine to a five-star Italian restaurant that has to be booked months in advance. You share delicious wine, perfectly cooked morsels of wonderful food, and leave without overstuffing yourselves at all. Then, on the horse-drawn carriage ride home, he presents you with a huge three carat diamond ring and then carries you across the threshold of your house (cleaned by a maid top to bottom while you were out) where he proceeds to lovingly ravish every inch of your body, then you fall asleep in each other's arms.

Reality- You get a card that he forgot to sign with a twenty dollar bill in it, and a trip to Taco Bell.

 

[Seurat]

Fantasy You get home, and she is dressed in an all new leather outfit, including boots. She proceeds to tie you up, tease you with her mouth, her hands, her sex, until you can't take it anymore, at which point the orgasms for both of you are incredible. When you wake in the morning, you realize it is the weekend, and she is going to continue for the next two days.

Reality You get home, and she is dressed in flannel pajamas because she has a fever from a sinus infection. *sneeze* *hack* *sneeze* *snore* There's nothing but a slice of cold veggie pizza and a diet Pepsi in the fridge and nothing but Law and Order repeats on all weekend. Oh, and she thinks she's about to get her period. Yup, there it is. *hack* *sneeze* When you wake in the morning, you realize it is the weekend, and she is going to continue for the next two days.

 

[fuckmeat]

Fantasy You spend ages cleaning the house and making everything perfect for a romantic night in together. You cook her favourite chicken recipe with lots of rice and salad and open a bottle of red to breathe before she returns home. She greets you with a passionate kiss and sets the tone for a wonderful night together.

Reality You spend ages cleaning the house and making everything perfect for a romantic night in together. You cook her favourite chicken recipe with lots of rice and salad and open a bottle of red to breathe before she returns home. You pop upstairs to use the bathroom and return to find instead of shutting the cat out of the kitchen, you've shut him in. He has taken that as an invitation to sample the chicken. You yell and lunge at the cat, who wheels round and knocks the rice and wine flying to the floor in his desperate escape. She greets you with an ear splitting 'what the hell has happened here?' which sets the tone for a less than wonderful night in with a grumpy Mistress.

 

[satindesire]

Fantasy You spend ages cleaning the house and making everything perfect for a romantic night in together. You cook her favourite chicken recipe with lots of rice and salad and open a bottle of red to breathe before she returns home. She greets you with a passionate kiss and sets the tone for a wonderful night together.

Reality You spend ages cleaning the house and making everything perfect for a romantic night in together. You cook her favourite chicken recipe with lots of rice and salad and open a bottle of red to breathe before she returns home. You pop upstairs to use the bathroom and return to find instead of shutting the cat out of the kitchen, you've shut him in. He has taken that as an invitation to sample the chicken. You yell and lunge at the cat, who wheels round and knocks the rice and wine flying to the floor in his desperate escape. She greets you with an ear splitting 'what the hell has happened here?' which sets the tone for a less than wonderful night in with a grumpy Mistress.

*holds her ribs in side-splitting laughter!*

Oh Good Lord, I am so sorry. I'm sure that was...absolutely...TERRIBLE! But I CANNOT STOP LAUGHING!

 

[the captians wench]

This thread makes me lol

Fantasy- For your birthday, he secretly arranges a shopping trip where he takes you to La Perla and spends several hundred dollars on high class lingerie. Then, he sweeps you via limousine to a five-star Italian restaurant that has to be booked months in advance. You share delicious wine, perfectly cooked morsels of wonderful food, and leave without overstuffing yourselves at all. Then, on the horse-drawn carriage ride home, he presents you with a huge three carat diamond ring and then carries you across the threshold of your house (cleaned by a maid top to bottom while you were out) where he proceeds to lovingly ravish every inch of your body, then you fall asleep in each other's arms.

Reality- You get a card that he forgot to sign with a twenty dollar bill in it, and a trip to Taco Bell.

Least you got a $20 and some sort of dinner.

 

[FungiUg]

I'm not sure I can do the fantasy/reality thing, but the way I met my girl would probably count as a fantasy to some. I escourted her to a gang bang.

 

[Seurat]

Fantasy Dita Von Teese, the week after.

Reality Roseanne Barr, the week before.


Fantasy A birthday spent in a dungeon.

Reality A birthday spent cleaning gutters.



Fantasy 5.0 on a story after four weeks, and thirty or more supportive emails and comments along with a dozen 'added to favorites'.

Reality 2.7 on a story tanked by some asshat named an0n who didn't bother reading it to the end before commenting how shitty your pron is.



Fantasy Lying out in the sun, enjoying the warmth and feeling of life it gives you.

Reality The fact that the doctor just diagnosed me with skin cancer.




Sorry, didn't mean to bring down the thread.

 

[MisterSir]

Fantasy: After weeks of frenzied and often filthy back-and-forth texting and private messaging, the two of you finally get to meet for a first date. You're exactly as charming, as polite and as gentlemanly as she expects you to be, she's just as perfect as you thought she was. After the traditional bill-paying dance (which, of course, she lets you win) and, gently lubricated with alcohol, the two of you return to hers. She lets her latent submissiveness rise to the surface, which brings out your natural dominance, and a dirty night is had by all.

Reality: After weeks of frenzied and often filthy back-and-forth texting and private messaging, she turns out to be a creation of somebody else's imagination.

Nor did I really mean to bring down the thread either.

 

[BLoved]

Stella_Omega mentioned that there are an awful lot of people who equate bdsm with bodice-ripping romances. I thought it'd be interesting to do some comparisons. Prizes go to those who have things that have genuinely happened to them

(this is not intended as a 'bashing' of people's beliefs thread, its more for light-hearted comedy value.)

Fantasy: You meet as he gallantly pushes you out of the path of an oncoming car, or saves you from drowning, or gives you the heimlich manuvere when you're turning blue.
Reality: You meet through random friends, in a boring work setting or online.

Actually, for those who went on to be my beloved, there was a tremendous amount of relief to finally meet someone who actually understood bdsm.

Fantasy: The minute your eyes meet, you know he's the Dom for you.
Reality: You have no concept of the role he'll take in your life, or even if you'll ever cross paths again. No cherubs, no 'magic spark', just plain human interaction.

Aside from my first beloved, whom I met at work, all of my beloveds were met through indirect means (through a personal ad). After lengthy discussions the first meeting face-to-face was always an exciting moment for them and me.

Fantasy: Picking up your first collar in a pet store will be a deep, intensly sexual, momentous moment
Reality: You'll be fidgetting nervously, trying to figure out how to try it on without attracting attention whilst other peoples aggro children run around screaming, people barge you out of the way, and the cashiers look at each other and snigger.

Or you measure the neck of your beloved and then go to the store and hunt for the right collar in the right size.

Placing it around her neck is something to be done in the privacy of your own home, and it is quite special.

 

[FungiUg]

Reality: After weeks of frenzied and often filthy back-and-forth texting and private messaging, she turns out to be a creation of somebody else's imagination.

I had that happen to a friend of mine. Her online Dom in Canada turned out to be some woman in Australia.

 

[Lizzie_Borden]

Fantasy: After hours of wild, kinky, noisy sex, there's a knock on the door. Your cute neighbour is on the doorstep, barechested but for overalls, with a broom over his shoulder. He gives you a saucy wink and says 'I have come to clean ze pool!' and more fun is had by all.

Reality: After hours of wild, kinky, noisy sex, there's a knock on the door. The local constabulary in on the doorstep, wanting to check on everybody's safety because your busybody neighbour thought you were getting raped and murdered.

 

[Cattypuss]

This happened to me

Misapprehension: You open the front door to find him standing on your doorstep with one hand behind his back and a cheeky sparkle in his eye; he brings the hidden hand forward with a flourish and it is holding a big bunch of flowers.

Reality: You open the front door to find him standing on your doorstep with one hand behind his back and a cheeky sparkle in his eye; he brings the hidden hand forward with a flourish and it is holding a big vibrating buttplug.

 

[the captians wench]

This happened to me

Misapprehension: You open the front door to find him standing on your doorstep with one hand behind his back and a cheeky sparkle in his eye; he brings the hidden hand forward with a flourish and it is holding a big bunch of flowers.

Reality: You open the front door to find him standing on your doorstep with one hand behind his back and a cheeky sparkle in his eye; he brings the hidden hand forward with a flourish and it is holding a big vibrating buttplug.

But that's so much better than flowers. You can only enjoy flowers for a few days

 

[Cattypuss]

I Agree!!! :d

 

[FloggingMolly]

agreed as well, buttplug > flowers.

Fantasty: You're eyes are stinging and streaming unstoppable tears, your nose wont stop running, you keep gagging and coughing, because you're sucking cock damn well

Reality: You're eyes are stinging and streaming unstoppable tears, your nose wont stop running, you keep gagging and coughing, because you're chopping an onion badly

Yep, this was me today, but at least I was _thinking_ of sucking cock instead!

 

[sb2009]

Fantasy: Friday Night. Kids are both at sleepovers - much effort was involved but it was worth it. Delicious dinner, relaxation...the night ending is either wild/loving/in-between sex - who cares what kind, as long as we get to DO IT without being interrupted!!!

Reality: all of the above, but he falls asleep, snoring loudly....with his head between my legs. :-(



I thought he was kidding at first, with the snoring. Then he snored again. And again. Then I realized his body had that "dead weight" feel that comes with sleep.

So I smacked him on the head and he sheepishly apologized. I was very glad he didn't tie me up in some complicated way that would have me dialing 911 with my nose or something.

 

[where]

Fantasy: Cuddling together on the couch, he looks into your eyes and says "I've got something for you." With that he reaches into his bag and pulls out a beautiful collar. He clips it around your neck and declares that you will now be his forever.

Reality: Cuddling together on the couch, he looks into your eyes and says "I've got something for you." With that he unzips his pants, pulls out his cock and orders you to suck it.
(Hey, I didn't say it was a bad reality )

Oh bitch! I have one of those clay face masks on and you just cracked it!

Reality The fact that the doctor just diagnosed me with skin cancer.




Sorry, didn't mean to bring down the thread.

Oh gosh, so sorry!