Writing a story so it's still appropriate for a college english submission?

[TechyesGuy]

So, I'm writing a story about the first time I had sex with a lesbian (I'm a dude) and my relationship with her definitely changed my political and social views, and that's the point of the story.

But I don't think I can (factually) show how my views changed without expressing the nights we spent together sucking on her huge clit, and the morning I woke up and she went down and me and slid a wet finger up my ass - because the magazine Cosmo told her too....


So, where's the line for college english submissions do you think? My rough draft is due in a few hours but the final I have a few days on.

I look forward to your responses! :-D

 

[egelante]

Kind of depends on the course and tutors at a guess! and which person you're writing in? What are the criteria for the task?

 

[3113]

So, I'm writing a story about the first time I had sex with a lesbian (I'm a dude) and my relationship with her definitely changed my political and social views, and that's the point of the story.

But I don't think I can (factually) show how my views changed without expressing the nights we spent together sucking on her huge clit, and the morning I woke up and she went down and me and slid a wet finger up my ass - because the magazine Cosmo told her too....

So, where's the line for college english submissions do you think? My rough draft is due in a few hours but the final I have a few days on.

Haha. Yeah, you're going to submit that as an english submission to get yourself into college. Very funny.

 

[TechyesGuy]

Haha, I'm writing in first person and it's about when I was 18. It is an english101 class but it's a story I've been wanting to write out and tell for a long time.

English101 is one of my final GEs before I graduate :-D

 

[egelante]

English 101 sounds a bit outside of my realm of experience...

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Stick to what you did during the summer cuz you risk presenting yourself as an assclown.

 

[3113]

English101 is one of my final GEs before I graduate

I used to teach college english. Unless this was for creative writing and the student had been writing such stuff before--and cleared it with me first...then if someone wrote this for their final essay--I'd think: This student is trying to fuck with me by giving me porn. This is as juvenile as if he'd graffitied my office.

I'm saying this as someone who writes erotica, is not shocked by it, and takes it seriously myself as literature. I would think this because I've known too many students who write such stuff only to shock, not because they mean it to be literary or serious, and nothing pisses me off more than to feel like a student is trying to "shock" me, rather than show me what they've learned and prove that they're deserving of a good grade.

That is how clit sucking and fingers up the ass would come across to me if I read them in a final essay (*She'll be shocked! *snort* *giggle* *wait till I tell all my friends what I did!*). And while I'd try to be fair in grading it, I probably wouldn't be very forgiving.

I recommend you find a way to tell this story without the erotica, or talk to the teacher before you do it. Because if you spring this on him/her, he/she could see it as prurient rather than literary. You won't feel so smart and proud of your descriptions of clit sucking and fingers up the ass if it ruins your GPA.

 

[The_Fool]

I used to teach college english. Unless this was for creative writing and the student had been writing such stuff before--and cleared it with me first...then if someone wrote this for their final essay--I'd think: This student is trying to fuck with me by giving me porn. This is as juvenile as if he'd graffitied my office.

I'm saying this as someone who writes erotica, is not shocked by it, and takes it seriously myself as literature. I would think this because I've known too many students who write such stuff only to shock, not because they mean it to be literary or serious, and nothing pisses me off more than to feel like a student is trying to "shock" me, rather than show me what they've learned and prove that they're deserving of a good grade.

That is how clit sucking and fingers up the ass would come across to me if I read them in a final essay (*She'll be shocked! *snort* *giggle* *wait till I tell all my friends what I did!*). And while I'd try to be fair in grading it, I probably wouldn't be very forgiving.

I recommend you find a way to tell this story without the erotica, or talk to the teacher before you do it. Because if you spring this on him/her, he/she could see it as prurient rather than literary. You won't feel so smart and proud of your descriptions of clit sucking and fingers up the ass if it ruins your GPA.

You didn't teach MY Lit 101 class...dammit.

 

[litfan10]

Hey Fool. I do teach college writing classes. Two things you need to consider with your context. First, your purpose is how the relationship changed your political and social views. You don't need clits and fingers in the ass to achieve this. Secondly, as I tell my students, even if it's only for a grade it is still publishing the piece when you turn it in to the prof. I am not giving money but I am giving "payment" in the form of a grade. You need to make sure you meet the criteria and conventions of the forum (ENG 101 class room), again finger in the ass and clit fall out of this realm. I agree that this is a great story to tell, but not in the forum you are considering. You can write the story just edit it to suit your audience (College prof and students) and then rewrite as smutty as you want it for here. Good luck!

 

[3113]

You didn't teach MY Lit 101 class...dammit.

Alas, doubt I was certified when you took Lit 101

 

[TechyesGuy]

I used to teach college english. Unless this was for creative writing and the student had been writing such stuff before--and cleared it with me first...then if someone wrote this for their final essay--I'd think: This student is trying to fuck with me by giving me porn. This is as juvenile as if he'd graffitied my office.

I'm saying this as someone who writes erotica, is not shocked by it, and takes it seriously myself as literature. I would think this because I've known too many students who write such stuff only to shock, not because they mean it to be literary or serious, and nothing pisses me off more than to feel like a student is trying to "shock" me, rather than show me what they've learned and prove that they're deserving of a good grade.

That is how clit sucking and fingers up the ass would come across to me if I read them in a final essay (*She'll be shocked! *snort* *giggle* *wait till I tell all my friends what I did!*). And while I'd try to be fair in grading it, I probably wouldn't be very forgiving.

I recommend you find a way to tell this story without the erotica, or talk to the teacher before you do it. Because if you spring this on him/her, he/she could see it as prurient rather than literary. You won't feel so smart and proud of your descriptions of clit sucking and fingers up the ass if it ruins your GPA.

I'm definitely not trying to have my teacher's goat. It's actually our first essay, a personal essay. I'm writing about how that summer before college I was an arrogant bastard and had stupid ideas about what it was to be gay or lesbian, and I not only had a lot of great discussions with this girl (a lesbian) but I turned out to be the first guy she ever hooked up with and I took her virginity, and she showed me that anal-play was fun. While this seems more like a sexual revolution, as the years progressed and I had time to think and build on that experience with others, and college itself I became a vocal supporter of gay-rights when only a couple years earlier I might have agreed but didn't have a clue about the argument.


The essay is supposed to be about a pivotal point in my life, and I'd say that that summer and that girl were one of two major pivotal points in my life.

I'm not trying to make this an erotic essay, and that's why I asked for some help here - how to describe how my mental and sexual relationship with this woman changed my social views.

 

[Guest]

Do lesbians read Cosmo?

 

[TechyesGuy]

Do lesbians read Cosmo?

Don't all teenage girls read Cosmo? lol

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Ah! I recall those days when I was a young liberal and believed every sideshow attraction to be Gospel. I suspect there are old people who believe in Santa Claus.

 

[3113]

Do lesbians read Cosmo?

Only for the pictures

 

[The_Fool]

Alas, doubt I was certified when you took Lit 101

My question is were you even born...

 

[Guest]

Only for the pictures

Indeed.

 

[DeeZire]

A good writer could elude to the sex without explaining it in detail. It happens all the time in mainstream fiction and on network TV. I don't think it was the clit that changed your social views, but rather the entire experience in the context of your life to that point.

 

[TechyesGuy]

A good writer could elude to the sex without explaining it in detail. It happens all the time in mainstream fiction and on network TV.

I hope to be a good writer one day, and this is a story I've wanted to write for a long time. It's something personal I have to say and want to share with the world. I'm not a good writer yet, but you're exactly right that a good writer could leave out the gory details and only use innuendo. I wish I had the time to reread Heinlein's "I will Fear no Evil" and see how he did it. One user suggested in PM to me that I focus on how I felt about what was happening than the actual details of what actually happened.

I don't think it was the clit that changed your social views, but rather the entire experience in the context of your life to that point.

It was erotic that she had a huge clit, it was kind of like sucking on a little penis, and when she would come she would actually cum. And no one had ever played with my ass before, let alone putting anything up it. And we didn't just have one night together exploring these activities. But, if I hadn't had those sexual experiences - she would have just been another girl, and I would have considered myself normal and 100% definition of straight and probably to this day would only know the missionary position (an exaggeration, but you know what I mean). I would probably be boring.

It wasn't just the sex that opened my mind but yes - showing me that I also liked sex that wasn't society's definition of normal helped me to open my mind to the views of different sexual orientations and in general.

 

[litfan10]

Hey TechyesGuy I accidently addressed The Fool as the author of the thread in my reply. Oops! Sorry to you both. Good luck with your essay. It sounds like you are on the right track now.

 

[sr71plt]

I say go full-blown with it. We already have too many people in our colleges who shouldn't be there.

 

[3113]

I'm not trying to make this an erotic essay, and that's why I asked for some help here - how to describe how my mental and sexual relationship with this woman changed my social views.

The question isn't why your sexual relationship with this woman changed your social views--the question is, if the sex had been missionary and boring, would you not have transformed? Rule 1 of English 101 is to know what is relevant to your story and what is not. However much you may be chewing at the bit to detail your sexual experiences because they were amazing or new or whatever, they should only be in the essay if they were absolutely, irrefutably relevant to your transformation.

If I were reading your essay, and you detailed what you and she did in bed, that is what I'd demand to know, because there are plenty of heterosexual women--even homophobic women--who might have done similar sexual things with you and to you. Are you saying that if they had, you would have taken on their social views?

I would recommend that you start with what you originally thought of lesbians. Discuss how you met her and what you thought of her at first. Explain why she trusted you to take her virginity (or decided you were the right one to teach her about sex with men). Discuss what that trust meant to you, and how it made her fight for gay rights important to you. That, ultimately, is the real story. As for the details of who sucked or did what to whom, those are moot unless you can explain it to us--and to your teacher in the essay--why they made you see the truth about lesbians and induced you to fight for gay rights. Can you? If you can, then we'll help you find a way to do it without offending the teacher. If you can't, then you've just proven that such intimate details don't matter as much as telling the story of what this girl was like as a person, and how SHE (not the sex) opened your eyes.

 

[TechyesGuy]

Hey TechyesGuy I accidently addressed The Fool as the author of the thread in my reply. Oops! Sorry to you both. Good luck with your essay. It sounds like you are on the right track now.

Thanks for reposting, I actually completely missed your first posting and the advice contained within it.

As a response, I guess since it's the first creative piece we are submitting I'm not sure what the prof. is looking for. A lot of the other students in the class don't seem to be spending much effort, but I'm glad to be back in school again (after a year break and transferring) and I want to write something authentic and push my abilities.

I think I may just cop-out of the scene and leave it absolutely vague, along the lines of "That night with Alex changed me forever. She showed me things, and did things to me, and encouraged me to do things to her that I never thought of. " then after that talk about how it changed my views of sexuality etc. and I never have to be explicit in what actually happened.

Waddya think? (translation: what do you think)

 

[TechyesGuy]

I think I may just cop-out of the scene and leave it absolutely vague, along the lines of "That night with Alex changed me forever. She showed me things, and did things to me, and encouraged me to do things to her that I never thought of. " then after that talk about how it changed my views of sexuality etc. and I never have to be explicit in what actually happened.

Waddya think? (translation: what do you think)

It's cliche, but if I don't say it - I'm not sure how to lead into the topic. I guess that was the point of the sex scene after all, to lead into how she opened my eyes to new possibilities that I hadn't seen.

The question isn't why your sexual relationship with this woman changed your social views--the question is, if the sex had been missionary and boring, would you not have transformed? Rule 1 of English 101 is to know what is relevant to your story and what is not.

If I were reading your essay, and you detailed what you and she did in bed, that is what I'd demand to know, because there are plenty of heterosexual women--even homophobic women--who might have done similar sexual things with you and to you. Are you saying that if they had, you would have taken on their social views?

I would recommend that you start with what you originally thought of lesbians. Discuss how you met her and what you thought of her at first. Explain why she trusted you to take her virginity (or decided you were the right one to teach her about sex with men). Discuss what that trust meant to you, and how it made her fight for gay rights important to you. That, ultimately, is the real story. As for the details of who sucked or did what to whom, those are moot unless you can explain it to us--and to your teacher in the essay--why they made you see the truth about lesbians and induced you to fight for gay rights. Can you? If you can, then we'll help you find a way to do it without offending the teacher. If you can't, then you've just proven that such intimate details don't matter as much as telling the story of what this girl was like as a person, and how SHE (not the sex) opened your eyes.

You're right (of course) and you probably have a more mature view of my experiences (and how they could have changed my views) than I do.

You make a great point that the experiences themselves could have happened with someone else, and I wouldn't have had the same development. You're right that it was because I had these experiences with her, that I grew as a person. I think our sexual experiences were important though, because I doubt I would have taken her views on as strongly if we hadn't formed an intimate connection and she hadn't pushed me sexually - comeon, what else does an 18-year-old guy think about?

(on a side note - until my current girlfriend it has been 5 years since the girl that's the topic of this essay for someone to push me sexually or even accept me fully. That's been hard. I wish more woman, heterosexual or homophobic would do what Cosmo tell's them to! :-D )

 

[Stella_Omega]

Yes, you cop out of the graphic scene for your class.

Sounds like you have two versions of your story to write. One minus the details for your class, one with the details for lit.

Sounds also like your Alex was cross-gendered from birth, or had been taking Testosterone, BTW.