Isolation

[BLoved]

Responding to Lizzie_Borden in "Love is ...":

Love is about being selfless, all the time.

A master who is not motivated by a selfless need to care for, nurture, respect and trust his submissive is no master at all.

So what can we say about the casual players who pretend a master is someone who wields the whip?

They are the abusive personalities who give bdsm a bad name.

 

[BLoved]

We respect courage ... that is why we have no sympathy for a mob.

We sympathize with vulnerability ... that is why we go "aww" when we find an abandoned kitten.

However, it is not until someone demonstrates the courage to be vulnerable that we feel love.

It is when someone opens up and exposes their soul that love inspires us.

 

[BLoved]

Responding to "Isolation":

And, btw, as someone who mans a suicide hotline in her spare time, I am finding I have less patience with grand claims re. suicide susceptibility here than I had with even the highly offensive nigger claims. People who are truly desperate and despairing enough to kill themselves do NOT - I repeat, do NOT - sound ANYTHING like BLoved.

Beware casual players who claim to be experts in psychology, sociology, medicine etc.

They're lucky if they're not living in mom's basement.

 

[FloggingMolly]

http://jeroenr.typepad.com/photos/uncategorized/love_is3_2.jpg

 

[BLoved]

Received this comment for Love, Part 3:

YES!!! finally we get to the hot stuff
Came across Pt.1 and 2 in story crawl in daily postings and was under-impressed. This entry rolled me over, and was more intense because of Pts.1 and 2; the backstory [like foreplay] IS important.

BiaTcHiNFiRe made a great point: the emotional connection makes the physical scene that much more intense and fulfilling. It's not just trust in your partner, but union WITH your partner that transcends the common world experience -- you're depicting it and bringing us into it.

Thank you. Look forward to more. Voted a 5.

Always a pleasure to see someone who 'gets it'.

 

[vintage63]

Truly beautiful. I think very few people understand love like you do.

 

[BLoved]

responding to "A Master Weeps ...":

Truly beautiful. I think very few people understand love like you do.

Thank you.

I would be happy to help, given the chance.

 

[Cattypuss]

Yes, I am a very very very dangerous person

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR

 

[BLoved]

Responding to "Isolation":

Yes, I am a very very very dangerous person

ROOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRR

Kill yourself.

EDIT: Why you bring this shit to this message board i have no fucking idea.

Cease being a whining fuck (I dont doubt that you are) and sort your shit out. Fucking SORT. IT OUT. You have a blend of deluded, patronising, pseudointellectual ignorance that gets up the collective nose of this messageboard like lines of cayenne pepper, and it does not surprise me one bit that your shit is fucked up (you come across as a maniac)


fuck youuuuuuuu

Received this in the mail from one of the casual players:

In my opinion, cancer is a disease with both environmental and emotional components. You may think me unfair, but I do hold you responsible for both the physical and emotional environment that your slave lived in - if you're taking these relationships as seriously as I think you do.

And this:

Just so you know I am not involved in "causal BDSM". I am in a loving monogamous relationship with someone whom I will marry one day. I have never been to a play party, munch, or any kind of BDSM event. I might not ever attend one in my life.

I personally believe BDSM is only enhanced when you are in a loving relationship. And I agree that BDSM outside of love can be more dangerous, but I will always respect another person's right to live their life how they want.

I'm going to put you on ignore now robert. It's been fun.

But before I go, I just want to say:

Kill yourself.

I agree.

I was Robert's "beloved".

I left him because he was not who i thought he was.
He changed over the time we spent together and i realized i no longer loved him. It was a difficult decision that i came to but one that i am glad i made.

Robert is stuck in his ways.
He hates change and anything that has to do with change. In way i started to pity him. He still has not gotten over the losses in his life. He tries to cover them up with his belief that Love will cure all. But I realized it doesn't.

I knew if i told Robert all this, he would have just went about his life as if i said nothing at all. Its Robert's way or its the wrong way. I couldn't live like that. i will always have a place in my heart for Robert.

But i am glad i left. It was one of the best decisions i could have made for myself.

Take care of yourself Robert.

That was me.

And I've rated your stories 1 star a bunch of times.

~smile~

Bye bye robert.

Take care.

You will find many more examples in The 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm'

These are examples of the 'ethics' of casual 'bdsm'.

This is how they prey upon the self-esteem of anyone they can get their hands on.

This is how they manipulate their victims.

This is how important it is to them to get their own way, come hell or high water.

 

[BLoved]

ignore

 

[BLoved]

ignore

 

[BLoved]

ignore

 

[BLoved]

ignore

 

[BLoved]

ignore

 

[Evil_Geoff]

And how many casual players try to inspire the best in their victims?

How many couldn't care less, as long as they get what they want?

As a "casual player" I would hope that my casual play partners are very much inspired. I want them knowing that I care for them as a person, respect their needs and desires, and that we will work, together, to meet the needs and desires that both of us bring to the scene. After all, if I get a bad reputation via "word of mouth" and the "subbie grapevine" the supply of play partners will dry up.

I don't seem to have any shortage of casual play partners so I must be doing something right.

But that's just me.

 

[BLoved]

Responding to Evil_Geoff in "A Gentleman ...":

You are so concerned for your partners you are willing to beat them, despite the fact you do not love them and will make no committment to share your life with them?

And who else beats a woman, feeling neither love nor committment to her?

Abusers?

In what way are you taking care of her emotional needs when you are willing to send her home, alone, unloved after a beating?

 

[CuteBrat]

You are so concerned for your partners you are willing to beat them, despite the fact you do not love them and will make no committment to share your life with them?

And who else beats a woman, feeling neither love nor committment to her?

Abusers?

In what way are you taking care of her emotional needs when you are willing to send her home, alone, unloved after a beating?

You seem to want to take what is important TO YOU in BDSM and make it a litmus test for all. To me, that sounds like more of the "one twoo way" bullshit. As a slave and former sub, I can say I find your attitude demeaning, patriarcal, and, frankly, kinda creepy.

 

[BLoved]

Responding to CuteBrat in "A Gentleman ...":

You seem to want to take what is important TO YOU in BDSM and make it a litmus test for all. To me, that sounds like more of the "one twoo way" bullshit. As a slave and former sub, I can say I find your attitude demeaning, patriarcal, and, frankly, kinda creepy.

And in what way is a submissive showing a healthy self-esteem to be inviting someone they barely know to render them helpless, thus requiring the submissive to risk her life with a virtual stranger, for nothing more than a beating, only to be sent home alone and unloved?

 

[BLoved]

ignore

 

[Moonlit]

You are so concerned for your partners you are willing to beat them, despite the fact you do not love them and will make no committment to share your life with them?

And who else beats a woman, feeling neither love nor committment to her?

Abusers?

In what way are you taking care of her emotional needs when you are willing to send her home, alone, unloved after a beating?

I used to work in a battered women's shelter and I have to say this:

An abuser often abuses the very person they love the most...and the abuse has nothing to do with whether they are committed to the person or not.

Do some research into the psychology behind abusive relationships and you will see what I mean.



*an aside to Evil_Geoff.. I don't post much but I have to say that I've missed seeing you here. *

 

[CuteBrat]

And in what way is a submissive showing a healthy self-esteem to be inviting someone they barely know to render them helpless, thus requiring the submissive to risk her life with a virtual stranger, for nothing more than a beating, only to be sent home alone and unloved?

If you think all submissives WANT a Dominant to love them, you show you know nothing about submissives. To me, people who claim to be Dominant but know nothing about submissives are nore dangerous than strangers any day of the week.

Subs should check out potential playmates. That is taking precautions. To say that has anything to do with love is just revealing your ignorance.

 

[PhaonsBrother]

I used to work in a battered women's shelter and I have to say this:

An abuser often abuses the very person they love the most...and the abuse has nothing to do with whether they are committed to the person or not.

Do some research into the psychology behind abusive relationships and you will see what I mean.



*an aside to Evil_Geoff.. I don't post much but I have to say that I've missed seeing you here. *

Women are far more likely to be killed by the one that 'loves' them the most than by some random act of violence from a stranger, or even a casual stranger. If you took all monogamous BDSM relationships and put them side by side with every casual encounter, likely the unwanted violence occurs exponentially more in the loving and committed relationships. People would rather destroy what they love than lose what they love.

 

[BLoved]

Responding to Moonlit in "A Gentleman ...":

I used to work in a battered women's shelter and I have to say this:

An abuser often abuses the very person they love the most...and the abuse has nothing to do with whether they are committed to the person or not.

Do some research into the psychology behind abusive relationships and you will see what I mean.

*an aside to Evil_Geoff.. I don't post much but I have to say that I've missed seeing you here. *

Are you trying to say rape is an act of Love?

Are you saying there are more abusive spouses than there are rapists?

And what definition of "love" are you using to claim that those who love can be abusive?

None of the dictionaries I've checked say anything about abuse being associated with love.

Certainly there are a lot of dysfunctional people with dysfunctional definitions for "love", but that doesn't turn abuse into love, or love into abuse.

 

[BLoved]

Responding to CuteBrat in "A Gentleman ...":

...

Since you've not answered my question I will assume you've conceded the point.

 

[Moonlit]

Are you trying to say rape is an act of Love?

Are you saying there are more abusive spouses than there are rapists?

And what definition of "love" are you using to claim that those who love can be abusive?

None of the dictionaries I've checked say anything about abuse being associated with love.

Certainly there are a lot of dysfunctional people with dysfunctional definitions for "love", but that doesn't turn abuse into love, or love into abuse.

Rape and abuse ... two different things... done by two different types of people.

Do not bother replying to this, BLoved because I am not going to say more to you on this topic. You are looking to fight with everyone who disagrees with you... and that is your right.

I choose (as is my right) to simply state my piece (which I have done) and say no more to you on this topic (and that is what I am doing).