Corniest Songs Of All Time

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Who's your nominee?

HONEY: BOBBY GOLDSBORO

See the tree, how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it, was just a twig
Then the first snow came
And she ran out to brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed till I cried
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart and I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came in from workin' late
'Cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin'
Over some sad and silly late, late show

And honey, I miss you
And I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could

She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly
And caught her cryin' needlessly
In the middle of the day
And it was in the early Spring
When flowers bloom and robins sing
She went away

And honey, I miss you
And I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could

One day while I was not at home
While she was there and all alone
The angels came
Now all I have is memories of Honey
And I wake up nights and call her name
Now my life's an empty stage
Where Honey lived and Honey played
And love grew up
And a small cloud passes overhead
And cries down on the flower bed
That Honey loved

And see the tree how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
And I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it, was just a twig

 

[LaRocha]

You Light Up MY life, James

 

[sdsioux]

How about the one that starts out
Yummy Yummy Yummy I've Got Love In My Tummy

 

[jomar]

MacArthur Park was the first thing to pop into my mind, Barry Manilow, notwithstanding.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Theyre all AWARD WINNERS!

 

[TxRad]

Who's your nominee?

HONEY: BOBBY GOLDSBORO

See the tree, how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it, was just a twig
Then the first snow came
And she ran out to brush the snow away
So it wouldn't die
Came runnin' in all excited
Slipped and almost hurt herself
And I laughed till I cried
She was always young at heart
Kinda dumb and kinda smart and I loved her so
And I surprised her with a puppy
Kept me up all Christmas Eve two years ago
And it would sure embarrass her
When I came in from workin' late
'Cause I would know
That she'd been sittin' there and cryin'
Over some sad and silly late, late show

And honey, I miss you
And I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could

She wrecked the car and she was sad
And so afraid that I'd be mad
But what the heck
Though I pretended hard to be
Guess you could say she saw through me
And hugged my neck
I came home unexpectedly
And caught her cryin' needlessly
In the middle of the day
And it was in the early Spring
When flowers bloom and robins sing
She went away

And honey, I miss you
And I'm bein' good
And I'd love to be with you
If only I could

One day while I was not at home
While she was there and all alone
The angels came
Now all I have is memories of Honey
And I wake up nights and call her name
Now my life's an empty stage
Where Honey lived and Honey played
And love grew up
And a small cloud passes overhead
And cries down on the flower bed
That Honey loved

And see the tree how big it's grown
But friend it hasn't been too long
It wasn't big
And I laughed at her and she got mad
The first day that she planted it, was just a twig

Since the song was written in tribute to his wife who had died, I don't find the song corny at all.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

BALLAD OF THE GREEN BERETS: Barry Sadler

Fighting soldiers from the sky
Fearless men who jump and die
Men who mean just what they say
The brave men of the Green Beret

Silver wings upon their chest
These are men, America's best
One hundred men we'll test today
But only three win the Green Beret

Trained to live, off nature's land
Trained in combat, hand to hand
Men who fight by night and day
Courage deep, from the Green Beret

Silver wings upon their chest
These are men, America's best
One hundred men we'll test today
But only three win the Green Beret

Back at home a young wife waits
Her Green Beret has met his fate
He has died for those oppressed
Leaving her this last request

Put silver wings on my son's chest
Make him one of America's best
He'll be a man they'll test one day
Have him win the Green Beret

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Since the song was written in tribute to his wife who had died, I don't find the song corny at all.

Yep, and he used the event to make some money. It kinda defines Usual Suspect caring.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

BORN A WOMAN: Sandy Posey

It makes no difference if you're rich or poor
Or if you're smart or dumb
A woman's place in this old world
Is under some man's thumb
And if you're born a woman
You're born to be hurt
You're born to be stepped on, lied to, cheated on
And treated like dirt
Ah if you're born a woman
You're born to be hurt
A woman's lot is to give and give
And go on giving
A woman's got to love and lose
And go on living
Well I was born a woman
I didn't have no say
And when my man finally comes home
He makes me glad it happened that way
Because to be his woman
No price is too great to pay
Yes I was born a woman
I'm glad it happened that way
Oh I was born a woman I'm glad it happened that way

 

[CharleyH]

You're Having my Baby

Corny, corny, corny!

 

[Liar]

I watched Euroivision Song Contest last week, you've got nothing on this.

If I were hell-bent on writing the most ridiculous Disney ballad parody, I could not top that.

 

[sr71plt]

"MacArthur Park," hands down.

 

[Verdad]

"MacArthur Park," hands down.

I thought Jomar nailed it; that and Barry Manilow in one sentence! What's possibly missing is Engelbert Humperdinck's opus.

 

[sr71plt]

I thought Jomar nailed it; that and Barry Manilow in one sentence! What's possibly missing is Engelbert Humperdinck's opus.

How about if Lawrence Welk's orchestra did it to a polka?

 

[TE999]

For the absolute corniest, it's 'Feelings' sung by Morris Albert, as well as several prominent vocalists who should have known better and a thousand piano bar virtuosos in response to drunken patrons requests.

"Feeeeelings, wo, wo, wo, feelings..." Barf!

 

[sr71plt]

For the absolute corniest, it's 'Feelings' sung by Morris Albert, as well as several prominent vocalists who should have known better and a thousand piano bar virtuosos in response to drunken patrons requests.

"Feeeeelings, wo, wo, wo, feelings..." Barf!

OK, I agree that's in the running, mostly because it's sung a lot. The lyrics to "MacArthur Park" make absolutely no sense, so few even try to sing it.

 

[driphoney]

Hello, Hello by Sopwith Camel

Doesn't beat out "MacArthur Park", but . . . .

 

[TE999]

OK, I agree that's in the running, mostly because it's sung a lot. The lyrics to "MacArthur Park" make absolutely no sense, so few even try to sing it.

Much less who originally recorded it...I mean Richard Harris who couldn't carry a tune in a bucket.

Au contraire. Many vocalists have taken a run at it...why I have no idea.

Here's the list of them and the background on the lyrics (via Wiki) http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/MacArthur_Park_(song)

Basically it's symbolism gone amuck.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

The Ozzie National Anthem.

DOES YOUR CHEWING GUM LOSE ITS FLAVOR (ON THE BEDPOST OVERNIGHT)
Lonnie Donegan & his Skiffle Group

Oh me oh my oh you
Whatever shall I do?
Hallelujah, the question is peculiar
I'd give a lot of dough
If only I could know
The answer to my question
Is it yes or is it no?

CHORUS:
Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?
If your mother says don't chew it, do you swallow it in spite?
Can you catch it on your tonsils, can you heave it left & right?
Does your chewing gum lose its flavor on the bedpost overnight?

Here comes a blushing bride
The groom is by her side
Up to the altar, just as steady as Gibraltar
The groom has got the ring
& it's such a pretty thing
But as he slips it on her finger
The choir begins to sing:

(chorus)

Now the nation rise as one
To send their wanted son
Up to the White House, yes, the nation's only White House
To voice their discontent
Unto the Pres-I-dent
The bonny burning question, What has swept this continent?
(Lonnie speaks: If tin whistles are made of tin, what do they make fog horns out of?
Another man shouts: Boom boom!)

(chorus)

On the bedpost overnight
(Man: Hello there, I love you & the one who holds you tight!
Lonnie: Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Sat'day night!)
On the bedpost overnight
(Man: A dollar is a dollar & a dime is a dime!
Lonnie: He'd sing another chorus but he hasn't got the time!)
On the bedpost overnight, yeah!

 

[sr71plt]

There's always "Tiptoe through the Tulips."

 

[sereneone4u]

"My Dingaling" but I do not know who sings it.

Just googled it, Chuck Berry.

 

[DeeZire]

"Knock Three Times" by Tony Orlando and Dawn. Corny, but could easily be turned into an award winning LIT story.

Hey girl what-cha doin' down there?
Dancin' alone every night,
While I live right above you.
I can hear your music playin'.
I can feel your body swayin'.
One floor below me you don't even know me.
I love you.

Oh, my darling,
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me.
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no.
Oh my sweetness, (Knock, knock, knock.)
Means you'll meet me in the hallway.
Twice on the pipe (tap, tap),
Means you ain't gonna show.

If you look out your window tonight,
Pull in the string with the note,
That's attached to my heart.
Read how many times I saw you.
How in my silence I adored you.
Only in my dreams did that,
Wall between us come apart.

Oh, my darling,
Knock three times on the ceiling if you want me.
Twice on the pipe if the answer is no.
Oh my sweetness, (knock, knock, knock.)
Means you'll meet me in the hallway.
Twice on the pipe (tap, tap),
Means you ain't gonna show.

 

[sr71plt]

"Knock Three Times" by Tony Orlando and Dawn. Corny, but could easily be turned into an award winning LIT story.

I've always wondered what was being knocked on the ceiling three times.

 

[Verdad]

How about if Lawrence Welk's orchestra did it to a polka?

OMG http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6UV3kRV46Zs

 

[Handley_Page]

Richard Harris: McArthur Park.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GHS8hj4TdT8

An absolute cracker.
It's not a song requiring a truly good voice; it looses it's immediacy.

And the words do make (some) sense.