Editing Question

[AsylumSeeker]

Okay, here is my dilemma, and I don't have any confidence as to the "correct" way of editing this.

This is what a writer wrote in a story: What have we done? He thought.

It seems to me this should be one sentence, such as: What have we done, he thought?

Or is there a better way to phrase this?

Thanks for the assist.

 

[sr71plt]

CMA supports rendering it the way you presented it if that's the way the author wants it (What have we done? he thought)--unless the author agrees to try writing around it altogether to prevent a reader stopping and questioning it.

Putting thoughts in simple roman is favored in the most-recent CMA (putting them in quotes is also accepted, which you could try doing here--"What have we done?" he thought.). The question mark belongs where it is rather than after "He thought," as "he thought" isn't part of the question.

Unfortunately imposing a comma after the question mark isn't accepted.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

CMA supports rendering it the way you presented it if that's the way the author wants it (What have we done? he thought)--unless the author agrees to try writing around it altogether to prevent a reader stopping and questioning it.

Putting thoughts in simple roman is favored in the most-recent CMA (putting them in quotes is also accepted, which you could try doing here--"What have we done?" he thought.). The question mark belongs where it is rather than after "He thought," as "he thought" isn't part of the question.

Unfortunately imposing a comma after the question mark isn't accepted.

Okay, thanks SR. I think I'll recommend going lowercase with "he", as this seems to be the way the author had intended to write the sentence.

 

[sdsioux]

Chapters or novel

I'm new to this board, have a story idea and have some questions. Should I do the story in chapters? I've done the introduction which is about 1500 words. How long should each addition be. I think the story could be easily 400 pages or more.
Just looking for opinions, thanks.

 

[bronzeage]

"he" should be in lower case, unless it is the first word in the sentence, or God is thinking, in which case, one has to wonder who is included in "we".

 

[sr71plt]

I didn't even focus on the capping of "he." (agree it shouldn't be capped). I was focused on where the question mark was--and the proper treatment of thoughts.

 

[_Lynn_]

CMA supports rendering it the way you presented it if that's the way the author wants it (What have we done? he thought)--unless the author agrees to try writing around it altogether to prevent a reader stopping and questioning it.

Putting thoughts in simple roman is favored in the most-recent CMA(putting them in quotes is also accepted, which you could try doing here--"What have we done?" he thought.). The question mark belongs where it is rather than after "He thought," as "he thought" isn't part of the question.

Unfortunately imposing a comma after the question mark isn't accepted.

CMA? The Country Music Awards?

 

[sr71plt]

CMA? The Country Music Awards?

Yuck. For some reason, I often make that miscall. It should be CMS.

 

[_Lynn_]

Yuck. For some reason, I often make that miscall. It should be CMS.

I knew that, but I couldn't let it go without teasing you a little bit either.

 

[sr71plt]

I knew that, but I couldn't let it go without teasing you a little bit either.

I knew that you knew that I knew that you knew that.

 

[Darkniciad]

I'm new to this board, have a story idea and have some questions. Should I do the story in chapters? I've done the introduction which is about 1500 words. How long should each addition be. I think the story could be easily 400 pages or more.
Just looking for opinions, thanks.

In my experience, readers prefer chunks of 2-3 Lit pages on longer stories. You're also best served by having the story done before you post any of the chapters.

That being said, if you post on a regular schedule, some shorter chapters of 1 1/2-2 Lit pages aren't going to draw too many complaints. It's only the 1 page chapters that really get hit with complaints, or short chapters after a long break in the posting schedule.

Longer chapters risk back-clicks, as do long stories posted as single submissions. The number of pages can be intimidating enough to make people turn away if they're not completely engrossed in the story.

I think a Lit page is a little over 3000 words.

 

[_Lynn_]

I knew that you knew that I knew that you knew that.

If I hadn't used most of the few brain cells I have on a certain research paper (which I turned in with 4.5 hours to spare) I might, just might, be able to find a cute reply.

 

[snoopercharmbrights]

Okay, here is my dilemma, and I don't have any confidence as to the "correct" way of editing this.

This is what a writer wrote in a story: What have we done? He thought.

It seems to me this should be one sentence, such as: What have we done, he thought?

Or is there a better way to phrase this?

Thanks for the assist.

Personally I prefer to see direct thoughts in single quotes or italics rather than unmarked. It makes it easier for the reader.
So:

'What have we done?' he thought.

or:

What have we done? he thought.

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Personally I prefer to see direct thoughts in single quotes or italics rather than unmarked. It makes it easier for the reader.
So:

'What have we done?' he thought.

or:

What have we done? he thought.

I thought single quotes should only be used inside of double quotes? At least this is how I've been editing to this point. Hmm.

 

[sr71plt]

I thought single quotes should only be used inside of double quotes? At least this is how I've been editing to this point. Hmm.

Snooper is providing British style (and tends not to distinguish between the two, when there are differences). You are right that in American style, double quotes is always the first level and single quotes would only be used inside double quotes.

You'll encounter this problem in interpretation where an editor doesn't realize (or won't acknowledge) that there are differences depending on which market you are writing in.

 

[sxyoldguy]

CMA supports rendering it the way you presented it if that's the way the author wants it (What have we done? he thought)--unless the author agrees to try writing around it altogether to prevent a reader stopping and questioning it.

Putting thoughts in simple roman is favored in the most-recent CMA (putting them in quotes is also accepted, which you could try doing here--"What have we done?" he thought.). The question mark belongs where it is rather than after "He thought," as "he thought" isn't part of the question.

Unfortunately imposing a comma after the question mark isn't accepted.

I always thought that one had to use a cap after the question mark. You do it in dialogue.

 

[sr71plt]

I always thought that one had to use a cap after the question mark. You do it in dialogue.

Not in this case. This case always looks awkward to me, though. This is a case of the question mark belonging in an awkward place and running up against rules where you shouldn't use two terminal punctuation marks together or separate the question mark from what is a question. If I encountered this, I'd try to write around it. The obvious way would be to use quote marks for thoughts rather than straight Roman. (CMS says either can be used for thoughts.) But if you encountered this at the end of a novel you were editing and the author had opted with straight Roman for thoughts in the preceding 200 pages, it would be a bear to go back and change them all (and you shouldn't mix constructions).

 

[AsylumSeeker]

Not in this case. This case always looks awkward to me, though. This is a case of the question mark belonging in an awkward place and running up against rules where you shouldn't use two terminal punctuation marks together or separate the question mark from what is a question. If I encountered this, I'd try to write around it. The obvious way would be to use quote marks for thoughts rather than straight Roman. (CMS says either can be used for thoughts.) But if you encountered this at the end of a novel you were editing and the author had opted with straight Roman for thoughts in the preceding 200 pages, it would be a bear to go back and change them all (and you shouldn't mix constructions).

Don't rely on Word's grammar checker, I have found this tool is weak at best. I do use it but many times ignore the annoying green line.

 

[sxyoldguy]

Don't rely on Word's grammar checker, I have found this tool is weak at best. I do use it but many times ignore the annoying green line.

I agree. Particularly when it wants to add the dreaded "and" we discussed in an earlier thread. Grrrrrr

 

[AsylumSeeker]

I agree. Particularly when it wants to add the dreaded "and" we discussed in an earlier thread. Grrrrrr

That too.