Bullying

[MzDeviancy]

http://www.cbsnews.com/video/watch/?id=6344846n

http://www.cnn.com/2010/CRIME/03/29/massachusetts.bullying.suicide/index.html

It seems like it's so much more relentless these days. This poor girl couldn't escape it, and she felt suicide was her only option.

 

[slowrimmer]

Thats seriously shitty ...........

 

[voluptuary_manque]

My first question is why didn't she ask for help from an adult. And if she did and didn't get any relief, wtf kind of community was she in?

 

[Stella_Omega]

My first question is why didn't she ask for help from an adult. And if she did and didn't get any relief, wtf kind of community was she in?

She did, she didn't, the community is asking itself that same question now.

Seriously. Her counselors told her not to pay any attention. Her principle said she was just homesick. He called the girls in, with her, and told them to leave her alone. They said they didn't mean any harm. He believed them, rather than her.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

She did, she didn't, the community is asking itself that same question now.

Seriously. Her counselors told her not to pay any attention. Her principle said she was just homesick. He called the girls in, with her, and told them to leave her alone. They said they didn't mean any harm. He believed them, rather than her.

You know, as one who was a designated victim all through junior high and into high school, that is completely depressing. Damned school administrators are still floating along in la-la land, siding with the Beautiful People and thinking that the dear children couldn't possibly mean any harm to each other. Such shit! You want the real reason for Columbine? There it is. The girls internalize and commit suicide and the boys lash out in revenge.

Yanno, in elementary school we recognize the children can and will sometimes be pure evil. It's happened over and over and each time it does, the perps find themselves on the short end of the stick. What's wrong with the people who ran that place?

 

[Zeb_Carter]

I'm really sorry to have to say this...government schools. There in lies the problem. Teachers Union...another problem. Teachers that don't care...another problem. Parent who haven't the faintest idea what their kids do...another problem.

Are all government schools bad...to some extent. Are all teachers bad...not at all, but those who are besmirch the good names of those who aren't. And in some cases the Union is the reason why those bad teachers are still around.

 

[Katyusha]

My first question is why didn't she ask for help from an adult. And if she did and didn't get any relief, wtf kind of community was she in?

The story I read was vague but it did say that school officials knew about the bullying. A lot of times, what happens in these cases is the victim of the bullying decides that suicide is their only way out *because* adults won't help them out.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

I'm really sorry to have to say this...government schools. There in lies the problem. Teachers Union...another problem. Teachers that don't care...another problem. Parent who haven't the faintest idea what their kids do...another problem.

Are all government schools bad...to some extent. Are all teachers bad...not at all, but those who are besmirch the good names of those who aren't. And in some cases the Union is the reason why those bad teachers are still around.

Uh, a principal is an administrator, Zeb. They don't belong to the unions. That would be conflict of interest.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

I am so glad I grew up large and am not bullied anymore...

 

[Katyusha]

You know, as one who was a designated victim all through junior high and into high school, that is completely depressing. Damned school administrators are still floating along in la-la land, siding with the Beautiful People and thinking that the dear children couldn't possibly mean any harm to each other. Such shit! You want the real reason for Columbine? There it is. The girls internalize and commit suicide and the boys lash out in revenge.

Yanno, in elementary school we recognize the children can and will sometimes be pure evil. It's happened over and over and each time it does, the perps find themselves on the short end of the stick. What's wrong with the people who ran that place?

I was a designated victim too.

There was a kid at a junior high nearby to mine who was bullied all through elementary school...about his glasses, his weight, his clothes...between sixth and seventh grade he worked really hard to lose weight, he got contacts, he got a new wardrobe, but the bullies were relentless, and adults, even his parents, refused to listen to him. He eventually killed himself, and his suicide tape ended with, "I was a great guy, and you all blew it," or something to that effect.

I realize that kids will tease and they need to develop a way to deal with certain kinds of teasing, but there's a world of difference between teasing and bullying. Not only was I bullied in school, but until junior high I literally didn't have any friends, and it wasn't until high school that I had friends I could call "real" friends. Nobody wanted to defy the "cool kids" to be my friend. They were too afraid of them.

I define the difference between teasing and bullying as whether or not it's intended to cause distress. Teasing, at least the way I see it, is meant to be in good fun and is usually between friends and acquaintances, and is followed by an apology if the recipient of said teasing is offended by it. Bullying is intended to cause emotional and possibly even physical distress; bullies get a kick out of causing pain to their victims. Nobody should be told to "just ignore" bullying, because it doesn't work. The they'll-stop-if-you-don't-react-to-it nonsense never worked with the kids who bullied me. If I stopped paying attention, they worked their asses off to find another button. They didn't get bored and stop.

It's sad that it can come to this for victims. It really is.

 

[Katyusha]

I'm really sorry to have to say this...government schools. There in lies the problem. Teachers Union...another problem. Teachers that don't care...another problem. Parent who haven't the faintest idea what their kids do...another problem.

Are all government schools bad...to some extent. Are all teachers bad...not at all, but those who are besmirch the good names of those who aren't. And in some cases the Union is the reason why those bad teachers are still around.

Where I grew up, Zeb, public schools and private schools were no different when it came to adults' attitudes about bullying...or in how much bullying went on.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I'm really sorry to have to say this...government schools. There in lies the problem. Teachers Union...another problem. Teachers that don't care...another problem. Parent who haven't the faintest idea what their kids do...another problem.

Are all government schools bad...to some extent. Are all teachers bad...not at all, but those who are besmirch the good names of those who aren't. And in some cases the Union is the reason why those bad teachers are still around.

heh, because nothing like that happens in private schools-- and nothing like that happens to children who never get to go to school at all.

You are sounding loonier and loonier.

Aside from that, this kind of thing has been going on since the day two different human clans tried to integrate their members into a larger tribe.

Children have always killed themselves as the result of bullying, this is not anything new. People have always been made powerless, and have been hounded without surcease-- adult women and men as well as kids-- and have often found an ultimate way out if that's all they had left.

It's only that there wasn't any internet to spread the word, twenty years ago.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Anyone who thinks that somehow privatization of education would put an end to this is illiterate. Check out the late 19th and early 20th century stories of boys' schools and be shown.

 

[MzDeviancy]

I was a designated victim too.

There was a kid at a junior high nearby to mine who was bullied all through elementary school...about his glasses, his weight, his clothes...between sixth and seventh grade he worked really hard to lose weight, he got contacts, he got a new wardrobe, but the bullies were relentless, and adults, even his parents, refused to listen to him. He eventually killed himself, and his suicide tape ended with, "I was a great guy, and you all blew it," or something to that effect.

I realize that kids will tease and they need to develop a way to deal with certain kinds of teasing, but there's a world of difference between teasing and bullying. Not only was I bullied in school, but until junior high I literally didn't have any friends, and it wasn't until high school that I had friends I could call "real" friends. Nobody wanted to defy the "cool kids" to be my friend. They were too afraid of them.

I define the difference between teasing and bullying as whether or not it's intended to cause distress. Teasing, at least the way I see it, is meant to be in good fun and is usually between friends and acquaintances, and is followed by an apology if the recipient of said teasing is offended by it. Bullying is intended to cause emotional and possibly even physical distress; bullies get a kick out of causing pain to their victims. Nobody should be told to "just ignore" bullying, because it doesn't work. The they'll-stop-if-you-don't-react-to-it nonsense never worked with the kids who bullied me. If I stopped paying attention, they worked their asses off to find another button. They didn't get bored and stop.

It's sad that it can come to this for victims. It really is.

I've definitely been on the receiving end of some bullying myself, although not to anywhere near the extent that Phoebe Prince was.

I totally agree on the 'Just ignore it' advice. When are these people going to fucking get it? Remaining silent a) lets bullies know they have a passive victim, and b) can only extend as far as whether or not you verbally acknowledge them - you still hear what they're saying and feel miserable and worthless at the end of the day.

 

[Bobby_3111]

Stuff like this blows to be sure but I think it comes back to the parents. I think that if more parents would take their kids to the park or get them involved into activities where the kids would actually have the chance to learn some social skills then some of this shit wouldnt happen.

Too many parents these days are more concerned with *their* lives and *their* happiness rather than the children they decided to have or accidentally had.

I knew a guy and his wife up in colorado once that used to play games a lot over the internet. I played a bit of CSS myself at the time and once asked him how he managed to get the time to play? He had 3 kids and he told me they loved the cartoon network. I didnt say anything because it wasnt any of my business but I didnt agree with it.

Now i'm not saying their whole lives should have been absolutely devoted to every second of every day for them, a person would go insane that way. But I am saying that maybe, if people are more involved and want to get their kids out of the house and playing with other kids every now and then this wouldnt happen all that often.

Learning to deal with idiot's early on steels them to the assholes they meet in the future.

At least thats how i see it.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

One of the acknowledged rights a child has is to feel safe at school. When the adults throw out the old "just ignore them" saw, they are making the child, by definitions powerless and dependent, responsible for his/her own feelings of safety. To my mind that is willful dereliction of duty. It made me a bit unpopular when I first arrived at my current school, but I insisted from the beginning that a good part of my job was to ensure the safety of the other thirty-one children in the class. If one made life miserable for the others, his ass was grass. I really didn't give a damn about how 'needy' the little twerp was, about his 'miserable homelife' or anything else. In my classroom the only one who got to pick on anyone was me--because I got paid to do that when necessary. If some Mama's little darling turned out to be a thug, they were headed out the door because I knew the rules and how to use them. It worked, too.

 

[Loring2]

Drastic measures

This business of harassment in schools is very common. I dare say every Junior High has it. Youngsters from 10 to 17 apparently tend to become clannish.

Many years ago my own son, 15 at the time had to change schools because he moved due to our divorce and became the butt of much harassment and even a beating. Mark was not intimidated and the day after being beaten he ended the nonesense.

He showed up with a 9mm S&W auto, owned by my ex-wife and announced the end of the game. She handled it well since I was about 9,000 miles away,

It was her (Mary but no Saint) call and the were no rounds in the clip or magazine. She had made sure. I was told that the discipline style changed at that school.

Her comment to me when we talked about it was "Sometimes it's necessary to get people's attentions" or something like that

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Like I said, boys lash out in revenge. If you want a safe school you must prune out the bad apples. The right to safety overrides the 'right' to an education for those who bully.

 

[TE999]

My Dad taught me early on that the best way to deal with bullies is to confront them and kick their ass. Most are cowards anyway. He said pick up whatever's handy and bust their head. It works too.

Kids today are made into little wusses by do-gooder teachers and indifferent parents...when they do encounter a threat they don't know how to handle it. Violence never solved anything, but it sure earns respect.

 

[Bobby_3111]

My Dad taught me early on that the best way to deal with bullies is to confront them and kick their ass. Most are cowards anyway. He said pick up whatever's handy and bust their head. It works too.

Kids today are made into little wusses by do-gooder teachers and indifferent parents...when they do encounter a threat they don't know how to handle it. Violence never solved anything, but it sure earns respect.

Amen brother.

 

[xssve]

I don't know what it is about Mass., but I've met some real tools from there.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Let's blame the Kennedy's . . .

 

[Katyusha]

Stuff like this blows to be sure but I think it comes back to the parents. I think that if more parents would take their kids to the park or get them involved into activities where the kids would actually have the chance to learn some social skills then some of this shit wouldnt happen.

Too many parents these days are more concerned with *their* lives and *their* happiness rather than the children they decided to have or accidentally had.

Perhaps in some cases. Not in mine, and not in many others'. My parents had me involved in activities everywhere, both in and out of school. Didn't help one bit with the bullying at school. There was even a group of us in the neighborhood that all played together when we were young. As the bullying got worse though, those kids, too, abandoned me. And I had nobody, and to this day everyone in my family who witnessed that (mostly my sisters) say that it was fear of the cool kids and fear of becoming an outcast like me that kept them from standing up for me.

Learning to deal with idiot's early on steels them to the assholes they meet in the future.

At least thats how i see it.

IMO, that's a very naive viewpoint.

 

[Bobby_3111]

Perhaps in some cases. Not in mine, and not in many others'. My parents had me involved in activities everywhere, both in and out of school. Didn't help one bit with the bullying at school. There was even a group of us in the neighborhood that all played together when we were young. As the bullying got worse though, those kids, too, abandoned me. And I had nobody, and to this day everyone in my family who witnessed that (mostly my sisters) say that it was fear of the cool kids and fear of becoming an outcast like me that kept them from standing up for me.



IMO, that's a very naive viewpoint.

That's your opinion yes.

 

[Bobby_3111]

Perhaps in some cases. Not in mine, and not in many others'. My parents had me involved in activities everywhere, both in and out of school. Didn't help one bit with the bullying at school. There was even a group of us in the neighborhood that all played together when we were young. As the bullying got worse though, those kids, too, abandoned me. And I had nobody, and to this day everyone in my family who witnessed that (mostly my sisters) say that it was fear of the cool kids and fear of becoming an outcast like me that kept them from standing up for me.



IMO, that's a very naive viewpoint.

So tell me something in your opinion. Who gets picked on more often in school, the strange kid that no one has a clue about? Or the kid that people know but is just slightly different?