If You Were a Billionaire for Five Hours

[R. Richard]

What would you do? The best answer is really clear. From the story, let's assume that Paul Fisher lives in Florida, Miami if you like.

When Paul Fischer checked his bank account Friday night, he had a happy surprise. His balance had exploded to $88,888,888,888.88. A very lucky number indeed, and close to $89 billion.

Of course, the balance was a technical error by SunTrust Bank (NYSE: STI - News), which quickly fixed the problem. It also may have occurred in other accounts.

"You say, 'Eighty-eight billion, what can I do with that?'" said Mr. Fischer, who owns a jewelry concessionaire for Florida theme parks. "Maybe a handful of us could have brought down SunTrust Bank."

More from WSJ.com:

Mr. Fischer had other ideas as well. Before the problem was fixed, he asked a SunTrust rep if he could move the money to an interest-bearing account until it was reclaimed and donate the interest to charity. Total interest: more than $7.3 million.

The bank said no.

The money was stripped out of his account by Saturday morning.

"It's all gone. I'm poor again," he said. "I was a billionaire for five hours."

This kind of bank error happens frequently. But Mr. Fischer raises an interesting question: What if, for five hours, you truly did have $89 billion?

What would you do with the money? The ground rules are that you would have to give the money back — and whatever you bought or invested with it — after five hours.

 

[sr71plt]

You don't actually have the money if it can't be spent.

 

[FreshlyDirty]

Flash the money, get some gold digging pussy, laugh when they find out you don't really have any gold for which to dig.

 

[R. Richard]

You don't actually have the money if it can't be spent.

Wrong! The money is in my bank account. If I can find someone to take the money on an interbank, I can spend it. I can find someone. (Hint: One someone.)

 

[Dragonlipz]

Five hours too long!!!
I'm already the richest man on this planet!!!!!
I have:
my health, my family's love, a good woman, and the enmity of: JBJ, Komrad AmiKus, Zebrinski, and all of their alts! What more could a man want? (except, perhaps, a good cigar and a snifter of Remy 2.0????!!!!!!!

 

[sr71plt]

Wrong! The money is in my bank account. If I can find someone to take the money on an interbank, I can spend it. I can find someone. (Hint: One someone.)

Pretty big word, IF.

 

[R. Richard]

Pretty big word, IF.

Read the last of my post: "I can find someone. (Hint: One someone.)"

 

[sr71plt]

It's April 2nd here already, Richard.

 

[R. Richard]

It's April 2nd here already, Richard.

Excellent! You have part of the solution. Obviously you aren't aware that you have part of the solution, but you do posses one of the key items of the solution. (No, this is not an April Fool joke.)

 

[Bobby_3111]

You could always buy a million quickpicks

Or if you are really feeling lucky go to a casino and put 10 mill on black or red and hope like hell you win.

 

[R. Richard]

You could always buy a million quickpicks

Or if you are really feeling lucky go to a casino and put 10 mill on black or red and hope like hell you win.

You wouldn't need to go anywhere, save to a telephone. In effect, I would go to a 'casino.' However, I wouldn't gamble, but rather invest in a sure thing. (Hint: Who has, let's say 89, billion worth of what I want?)

 

[TE999]

You wouldn't need to go anywhere, save to a telephone. In effect, I would go to a 'casino.' However, I wouldn't gamble, but rather invest in a sure thing. (Hint: Who has, let's say 89, billion worth of what I want?)

You could 'Invest In America'...buy some T-Bills...pay down the national debt...buy some Congressmen and Senators like the big guys do.

 

[R. Richard]

Okay, I have a really early meeting tomorrow morning. I need to get some sleep, in case they want me to do what I do for them.

I would contact an entity who holds more than 89 billion of what I want and that they don't want to hold. I would buy, say 90 billion, of what they have, for my 89 billion, since they want to get rid of some of what they have too much of. I would then put what I bought in a safe place. (Hint: I wouldn't take physical delivery.) I would then wait for the bank to come after me. I would then tell the bank, "I have something that's worth more than 90 billion dollars. However, I'll sell it to you for 90 billion dollars, less the 89 billion that you claim I owe you. Take it or leave it. If you want to settle the matter in courts (Hint: plural,) fine by me.

 

[R. Richard]

You could 'Invest In America'...buy some T-Bills...pay down the national debt...buy some Congressmen and Senators like the big guys do.

Actually, you're getting warm. However, I couldn't buy T-Bills Friday night. Also, I would want to buy longer term instruments, to get the higher interest rate. The interest would continue to accrue to my account until the matter is settled. (Yes, even Saturday and Sunday.)

 

[mynameisben]

I would give it all to the IRS. Every penny of it. I feel sorry for those guys. They work really hard, and everybody gives them crap.

I am confident someone in the U.S. government would put that kind of money to better use than I ever could.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Five hours too long!!!
I'm already the richest man on this planet!!!!!
I have:
my health, my family's love, a good woman, and the enmity of: JBJ, Komrad AmiKus, Zebrinski, and all of their alts! What more could a man want? (except, perhaps, a good cigar and a snifter of Remy 2.0????!!!!!!!

You flatter yourself.

 

[geronimo_appleby]

I'm a cunt.

the penny drops at last, eh?

 

[LaRocha]

Actually, you're getting warm. However, I couldn't buy T-Bills Friday night. Also, I would want to buy longer term instruments, to get the higher interest rate. The interest would continue to accrue to my account until the matter is settled. (Yes, even Saturday and Sunday.)

There are plenty of thirty-year bonds you can buy from the likes of GE, IBM, maybe even MSFT. That's what the rich fucks do, they buy corporate debt. Thirty-year treasuries aren't long term enough for you? In five hours Friday morning/afternoon you can get that mortgage on that house you were turned down for a few months before. They said you couldn't afford it, you know you can, you use the money as leverage, get your 200k house with only a 20k downpayment(which couldn't come out of the billions.) Sick fixed rate too.

 

[oggbashan]

You could buy a country, make yourself its lifetime President, and defy the bankers from your embassy.

Og

 

[Handley_Page]

You could buy a country, make yourself its lifetime President, and defy the bankers from your embassy.

Og

Somewhere with good natural resources; Nigeria ?

 

[jeninflorida]

Isn’t it a crime if he would have spent the money?

What would you do? The best answer is really clear. From the story, let's assume that Paul Fisher lives in Florida, Miami if you like.

When Paul Fischer checked his bank account Friday night, he had a happy surprise. His balance had exploded to $88,888,888,888.88. A very lucky number indeed, and close to $89 billion.

Of course, the balance was a technical error by SunTrust Bank (NYSE: STI - News), which quickly fixed the problem. It also may have occurred in other accounts.

"You say, 'Eighty-eight billion, what can I do with that?'" said Mr. Fischer, who owns a jewelry concessionaire for Florida theme parks. "Maybe a handful of us could have brought down SunTrust Bank."

More from WSJ.com:

Mr. Fischer had other ideas as well. Before the problem was fixed, he asked a SunTrust rep if he could move the money to an interest-bearing account until it was reclaimed and donate the interest to charity. Total interest: more than $7.3 million.

The bank said no.

The money was stripped out of his account by Saturday morning.

"It's all gone. I'm poor again," he said. "I was a billionaire for five hours."

This kind of bank error happens frequently. But Mr. Fischer raises an interesting question: What if, for five hours, you truly did have $89 billion?

What would you do with the money? The ground rules are that you would have to give the money back — and whatever you bought or invested with it — after five hours.

 

[R. Richard]

There are plenty of thirty-year bonds you can buy from the likes of GE, IBM, maybe even MSFT. That's what the rich fucks do, they buy corporate debt. Thirty-year treasuries aren't long term enough for you? In five hours Friday morning/afternoon you can get that mortgage on that house you were turned down for a few months before. They said you couldn't afford it, you know you can, you use the money as leverage, get your 200k house with only a 20k downpayment(which couldn't come out of the billions.) Sick fixed rate too.

You can't buy bonds from GE, IBM or MSFT on a Friday night. Thirty year treasuries are log term enough for me. You can't get a mortgage on Friday night anbd, by the time the paperwork was ready, the banki would have the money back.

 

[R. Richard]

Isn’t it a crime if he would have spent the money?

It's a very tricky question. If you went out and spent the money on, let us say, a fancy car, jewelry, clothes, etc., then yes, it's a crime. However, there are things that I could spend the money on that are, arguably, not a crime.

 

[R. Richard]

What I would have done is to contact the Hong Kong branch of my stock/bond brokerage (its not Friday night there.) I would have the person on the bond desk buy, from the Chinese government, some 90 billion dollars worth of USA treasury bonds, that the Chinese are holding and don't want. The interbank transfers would go through without a hitch and the bank could then try to get the money back from the Chinese government. (It's something like your suggestion, Og, except that it's more like a lease of a government, rather than an outright purchase.) The bank could then try to pry the money out of my Hong Kong account. Said prying would take quite a bit of time, since both the USA courts and the Hong Kong courts would be involved. The interest payments would accumulate, making me perhaps a million dollars an hour. At a million dollars an hour, who's in a hurry?

(Just in case there's someone in Literotica who has actually worked on a bond desk, it's not quite that simple. The Chinese government buys USA treasuries at a discount, everyone does. The USA treasury bonds then pay interest (in effect) every single day of the year, including holidays. The treasury bonds aren't dealt in flat, thus there would have to be some adjustments for accumulated interest. However, the basic strategy remains the same. I buy the bonds from the Chinese at a slight discount, as they want to get rid of an oversupply. I then go to Hong Kong, shop for what I want at Pacific Place, dine in a fine restaurant, workout in one of the kwoons, or lounge in my luxury hotel room, with a lovely young female companion, while the bank and the USA government try to correct the stupidity of the bank. Meanwhile, the Chinese government has sovereign power and the dealings take time. At a million dollars an hour, I'm not in a hurry!)

Is my plan legal? It would depend upon the finding of a Hong Kong court as to whether I intended to break a law. The USA government shysters would try to use 'everybody knows.' I would simply point out that the USA government doesn't even know if their own President is legally qualified to be President and, in any case, 'everybody knows' isn't a legal argument in a court of law.

 

[FreshlyDirty]

I would simply point out that the USA government doesn't even know if their own President is legally qualified to be President

Birth Certificate? Again? Too bad no matter how much billionaire money you had, for how ever long, it couldn't buy you a brain.