Hey, first let me say that my experience with bdsm of any sort is limited at best. I've watched some of those free samples that the porn sites put out, which is both the extent of my investigation and what I'm basing this post on.
Anyway, the various sub-sites of kink.com (Designated by the big red K in the corner) put out video clips that seem to follow a set pattern; the highlights of the bondage, followed by a session where we see the models involved all cute and bubbly and enthusiastic about the experience that they've had. Now, like all aspects of porn, just how genuine these expressions are is suspect. However, I still find myself going weak at the knees seeing these women confirm just how a great a time they were having, and I wanted to discuss why that's the case, for me and for anyone else who mixes some sweetness with their sadism.
Part of me wants to view it as a release; the torture builds up tension, each act making me increasingly uncomfortable until finally that wink at the end washes it all away. It serves as both the climax and the denoument, the orgasm and the post-coital cuddle. Its appeal lies in its narrative role, in its happy ending, and moreover in its ability to leave me with the concept that my fascination with bdsm is merely a horrified curiosity, but this denies the genuine satisfaction I get from seeing bound women being hurt. There's some discomfort with my enjoyment of this, certainly, but that does not change the fact that I am very much on the side of the aggressor in these videos, and I know it. So, it seems that the release of tension idea doesn't not fully explain it.
A lot of what keeps bondage bearable to watch is the idea that the participants are loving it, that the women involved really DO want to be treated this way. Personally, it's not so much the power trip that does it but this gradual realization that women are not nearly as fragile and simple as little grdas believed them to be. In that way, seeing models with flushed faces relishing the caning they just had becomes not a lamentable loss of innocence but an intimate peeling away of these broad gender characteristics I had lobbed around as a child. I mean, I'm running the risk of lobbing those again with this statement, but there's something strangely, deeply erotic about the complication that masochism brings to sex. So, in that sense, perhaps the reason I love these review sessions at the end of bondage videos because it makes the victims less victims and more partners. Again, freeing me from all the guilt of sadism, but instead of just denying my enjoyment of it, it makes the enjoyment mutual.
And yet, I sometimes just skip to the end, ignoring the bondage altogether, in favor of seeing the instant reconcilliation. Maybe I just like seeing a bunch of women sitting around naked being affectionate towards each other. Maybe I just like people talking about sex more than them actually having it. Either way, it's a complicated situation, and I'm wondering why you all like or dislike it.
If this is rambling, I apologize. It's quite late.
Anyway, the various sub-sites of kink.com (Designated by the big red K in the corner) put out video clips that seem to follow a set pattern; the highlights of the bondage, followed by a session where we see the models involved all cute and bubbly and enthusiastic about the experience that they've had. Now, like all aspects of porn, just how genuine these expressions are is suspect. However, I still find myself going weak at the knees seeing these women confirm just how a great a time they were having, and I wanted to discuss why that's the case, for me and for anyone else who mixes some sweetness with their sadism.
Part of me wants to view it as a release; the torture builds up tension, each act making me increasingly uncomfortable until finally that wink at the end washes it all away. It serves as both the climax and the denoument, the orgasm and the post-coital cuddle. Its appeal lies in its narrative role, in its happy ending, and moreover in its ability to leave me with the concept that my fascination with bdsm is merely a horrified curiosity, but this denies the genuine satisfaction I get from seeing bound women being hurt. There's some discomfort with my enjoyment of this, certainly, but that does not change the fact that I am very much on the side of the aggressor in these videos, and I know it. So, it seems that the release of tension idea doesn't not fully explain it.
A lot of what keeps bondage bearable to watch is the idea that the participants are loving it, that the women involved really DO want to be treated this way. Personally, it's not so much the power trip that does it but this gradual realization that women are not nearly as fragile and simple as little grdas believed them to be. In that way, seeing models with flushed faces relishing the caning they just had becomes not a lamentable loss of innocence but an intimate peeling away of these broad gender characteristics I had lobbed around as a child. I mean, I'm running the risk of lobbing those again with this statement, but there's something strangely, deeply erotic about the complication that masochism brings to sex. So, in that sense, perhaps the reason I love these review sessions at the end of bondage videos because it makes the victims less victims and more partners. Again, freeing me from all the guilt of sadism, but instead of just denying my enjoyment of it, it makes the enjoyment mutual.
And yet, I sometimes just skip to the end, ignoring the bondage altogether, in favor of seeing the instant reconcilliation. Maybe I just like seeing a bunch of women sitting around naked being affectionate towards each other. Maybe I just like people talking about sex more than them actually having it. Either way, it's a complicated situation, and I'm wondering why you all like or dislike it.
If this is rambling, I apologize. It's quite late.
) provides for the most amazing sex i have ever had. If there were not people who didn't mind slapping a girl around and telling her exactly what to do, i would not get to experience the intense highs that come with this flavor of sex. i don't view it as a complicated situation at all. In fact, i find it quite simple. Yin and Yang so to speak. my needs and His needs fit together like puzzle pieces. i wish you luck on your future exploration of BDSM and your own sexuality.
