So, a couple years later...

[Andrews_pet]

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[FurryFury]

I'm so sorry for your situation.



Reading the responses you got last time I have to say, they were sound. You need to keep trying to make your needs or wants know. IMO, you also need to stop putting yourself down. Nothing works as well as communication to help clarify issues and make relationships work better or even end when they need to.

*hug*

 

[cara2272]

… I guess maybe, what is wrong with me and how can I fix it?

I have a feeling you know already. You've said it yourself:

I made a post a couple years ago about how frustrated I was with my relationship with my Master, as I just don't feel like we have anything going on much in that department. I did get some very nice advice here, but being a big chicken and our general lack of relationship communication it took me up to last month to try to talk to him about it.

You have no faith in your Dominant. If it takes years for you to try to talk to him about anything, then there's something very, very wrong with your relationship. It sounds like you indeed are a chicken, which is bad, but what's even worse is that you seem to have had a good reason to fear facing reality.

I see at least two possible problems here. One, you're very bad at communicating your needs. Your post is a mess. An understandable mess, given your situation, but still a mess which is of no use to anyone, least of all youself; if you talk to your Dominant the way you write your posts, I would advise thinking it through more, pinpointing the exact problems, offering exact solutions – giving him something he can understand and work with. There is a chance he simply hadn't understood that you need more attention; again, your post is unclear on what happened when you finally did talk to him. By not letting him know and understand how you feel, you have taken the control out of his hands, and then you complain he isn't dominant enough. Being dominant and being clairvoyant aren't the same. Being submissive and being a puppet definitely should not be the same. You should have taken the initiative, long ago, before you've become too frustrated to think and communicate clearly.

Of course, there is a chance that he knows exactly what you need, but simply isn't the man to give it. You can't force people into being what you want them to be, as you already know. You accept them as they are, or you move on. It's a tough choice, and I'd bet that that is what you've been fearing all these years, because in my experience, when people say they don't know what the problem is and just keep going in circles, it's because they're scared of making a big, often painful change.

So I'd say there's nothing wrong with you really; you're just human But you have a problem, and you need to talk about it with your partner or, if he won't listen, with yourself. Good luck.