Story recommended to me, but baffling...

[sunandshadow]

http://www.wattpad.com/130122?p=1
This is a futuristic erotic romance story that was recommended to me, and from the description it sounded like something I would like, but when I started reading it I was just baffled what was supposed to be appealing about the situation. It seems like the author is developing some sort of theme where 'not talking' is important to the eroticism - can anyone explain this to me? I just can't imagine why a woman would fantasize about being in a sexual situation (and wedding noght on top of that) with a man she doesn't know who is forbidden to talk. What's erotic about that?

 

[Penelope Street]

It seems like the author is developing some sort of theme where 'not talking' is important to the eroticism - can anyone explain this to me? I just can't imagine why a woman would fantasize about being in a sexual situation (and wedding night on top of that) with a man she doesn't know who is forbidden to talk. What's erotic about that?

Considering how much I love dialog, I can't imagine enjoying such a theme either, but at least it's an unusual idea.

 

[ashiq8]

Hi guys

I can recommend "Touring Jesusworld," a lovely sarcastic look at religion and.The story is completely baffling to me; I have no idea what it means,. As for "Some Things Are Better Left" again, good story but I'm not sure the.He also told me a story about how he used to be a merchant marine in.

Thanks



comment faire un budget - cancer testicules

 

[emap]

Most likely a new author, they usually avoid conversation. I avoid doing much conversation myself, though I have a weird excuse, I think I suck at it.

However wouldn't it be kinda interesting to have a story where one or both are deaf so all of the talking is by sign or simple touching?

 

[Scotsman69]

I read one amazing story, collared_dirtygirl's 'Beau', which has no dialogue at all, and it is the most fantastic piece of writing. It's not that she can't write dialogue, as her other story 'Forever' proves. I just wish she'd write more.

Go read them if you don't believe me, they're both quite short...

 

[driphoney]

I read one amazing story, collared_dirtygirl's 'Beau', which has no dialogue at all, and it is the most fantastic piece of writing. It's not that she can't write dialogue, as her other story 'Forever' proves. I just wish she'd write more.

Go read them if you don't believe me, they're both quite short...

So, do you think it's talent or practice that makes a writer able to pull off a non-dialogue piece? What do you think the trick it? How does one keep from turning it into a 'telling', play-by-play construct?

 

[Scotsman69]

Go and read 'Beau', and then answer yourself... but both talent and practice I think.

I've never tried it myself, not confident enough of my ability. My stories are full of dialogue.

 

[driphoney]

Go and read 'Beau', and then answer yourself... but both talent and practice I think.

I've never tried it myself, not confident enough of my ability. My stories are full of dialogue.

I'll read it, but I've seen it before, or rather I've been sucked into a story where there is very little dialogue, but I'm not discerning enough to know what about it specifically makes it work.

Maybe this needs to be your next challenge, because your narrative is lovely. You'd have a better chance than most of making it work well.

 

[Scotsman69]

Maybe I'll try sometime.....

 

[Jayson123]

Trying to figure out how to maneuver here

My first night here....didn't even know how to enter a forum or thread....so just kept clicking and here i am

 

[driphoney]

My first night here....didn't even know how to enter a forum or thread....so just kept clicking and here i am

I agree, it is hard to figure out where to start. Let me be the first to welcome you.

Welcome

 

[jaF0]

It seems like the author is developing some sort of theme where 'not talking' is important to the eroticism - can anyone explain this to me? I just can't imagine why a woman would fantasize about being in a sexual situation (and wedding noght on top of that) with a man she doesn't know who is forbidden to talk. What's erotic about that?

That could be incredible. I might have to work on one like that. No words. Everything communicated through the eyes or by touch. Almost ESP where the chemistry is so hot they just almost instinctively know what to do next even though they've never met. When it's over, they go their separate ways with no knowledge of who the other was.

 

[sunandshadow]

That could be incredible. I might have to work on one like that. No words. Everything communicated through the eyes or by touch. Almost ESP where the chemistry is so hot they just almost instinctively know what to do next even though they've never met. When it's over, they go their separate ways with no knowledge of who the other was.

But can you explain why that's appealing, since I don't get it?

 

[bisexualsmoker]

I think it makes sense. He wants descriptive body actions portrayed, rather than have the story rely on dialog. After all,a sensual movement speaks louder than words.

 

[sara_adrift]

I can easily imagine a pre-arranged marriage in which neither one spoke the same language. Not identical to that story, but close. I don't think it would be very romantic or erotic, but it could be, depending upon the peeps involved.

 

[CopperSkink]

It's erotic to me because I'm terrible with writing dialogue during sex, which means I can get a scene written without having to have anybody say anything ::S

 

[CharleyH]

So, do you think it's talent or practice that makes a writer able to pull off a non-dialogue piece? What do you think the trick it? How does one keep from turning it into a 'telling', play-by-play construct?

I haven't read the story that initiated this thread and I haven't read the story suggested by Scotsman. I've never read an erotic story without dialogue and I've never written one entirely devoid of dialogue, either. Nevertheless, I think that in the right setting and under the right circumstances an erotic piece could be very well-written and perhaps even benefit from a lack of dialogue. For example, the quick fuck. How many times have you been to a nightclub and seen a woman dancing alone or with her friends, and how many men have attempted to inject themselves into that little dance scenario? It's quite possible, in these circumstances, that two people could be attracted with a look, the beat of the music and the rhythm of their dance. No words are needed before dancing turns to simulated sex acts - pure sexual desire that moves from the dance floor to a corner of the club or a bathroom with no words.

The trick, in my opinion, is to keep the story moving with vivid sensory (all 5 senses) description in 1st person and from both urgent POVs to change the rhythm of the story and keep it vibrant ... from suspenseful desire, to frenzied lust, last minute apprehension and orgasm. What more do you need from a one-night (30-minute) stand?

 

[driphoney]

I haven't read the story that initiated this thread and I haven't read the story suggested by Scotsman. I've never read an erotic story without dialogue and I've never written one entirely devoid of dialogue, either. Nevertheless, I think that in the right setting and under the right circumstances an erotic piece could be very well-written and perhaps even benefit from a lack of dialogue. For example, the quick fuck. How many times have you been to a nightclub and seen a woman dancing alone or with her friends, and how many men have attempted to inject themselves into that little dance scenario? It's quite possible, in these circumstances, that two people could be attracted with a look, the beat of the music and the rhythm of their dance. No words are needed before dancing turns to simulated sex acts - pure sexual desire that moves from the dance floor to a corner of the club or a bathroom with no words.

The trick, in my opinion, is to keep the story moving with vivid sensory (all 5 senses) description in 1st person and from both urgent POVs to change the rhythm of the story and keep it vibrant ... from suspenseful desire, to frenzied lust, last minute apprehension and orgasm. What more do you need from a one-night (30-minute) stand?

I think you're right. I've read where some writers feel the pull to elevate their writing to nearly pure, lean dialogue, letting the talking convey all the thoughts and actions of a piece ... which is a pretty neat trick ... but I think what you describe would be equally hard to do well, and yet would be brilliant with the right touch. It has to be more than just a wordless sex scene, as you point out, it has to tell a complete story and keep the reader's interest.

As soon as you write it ... let me know! I'd love to read it.

 

[CharleyH]

I think you're right. I've read where some writers feel the pull to elevate their writing to nearly pure, lean dialogue, letting the talking convey all the thoughts and actions of a piece ... which is a pretty neat trick ... but I think what you describe would be equally hard to do well, and yet would be brilliant with the right touch. It has to be more than just a wordless sex scene, as you point out, it has to tell a complete story and keep the reader's interest.

As soon as you write it ... let me know! I'd love to read it.

I already wrote it 7 years ago, I just removed it from Lit. I'd be happy to send it to you. I think even Penny can attest to the fact that it is quite good. Vainly, 'The Screening' is.

 

[CharleyH]

Drip Honey

Hm, I should humble myself a bit. Since the time I wrote 'The Screening', I have grown as a writer and have a much more critical eye, and while I see that it could be tightened, it still stands as a good example of a story that uses all 5 senses, of a story that builds sexual tension via two different POVs, and it tells two stories surrounding a single passionate moment that mean/meant different things to each character. Also, there is a bare minimum of dialogue. I use dialogue in this story only when absolutely necessary. Nevertheless, it's still hh-hot! lol

If you are interested, it is still online at a Lit members personal site. FYI, it is a lesbian story and when I removed it from Lit, it was graded by readers between 4.72 to 4.75 (I don't exactly recall) if that makes any difference to you.

STORY REMOVED: thanks for reading folks.

On another note, and again you have to excuse my memory, but I think that the short erotic novel, 'The Man sitting in the Corridor' by French author Marguerite Duras (she wrote the novel The Lover and the film Hiroshima, Mon Amour) contains little to no dialogue. Duras is an expert with poetic prose and in this novel she paints a vivid picture of a man and a woman having sex in an alley from the POV of a voyeur. Despite its erotic content, it should be available in a local library.

 

[PolyLvr]

Hm, I should humble myself a bit. Since the time I wrote 'The Screening', I have grown as a writer and have a much more critical eye, and while I see that it could be tightened, it still stands as a good example of a story that uses all 5 senses, of a story that builds sexual tension via two different POVs, and it tells two stories surrounding a single passionate moment that mean/meant different things to each character. Also, there is a bare minimum of dialogue. I use dialogue in this story only when absolutely necessary. Nevertheless, it's still hh-hot! lol

If you are interested, it is still online at a Lit members personal site. FYI, it is a lesbian story and when I removed it from Lit, it was graded by readers between 4.72 to 4.75 (I don't exactly recall) if that makes any difference to you.

Link: The Screening

On another note, and again you have to excuse my memory, but I think that the short erotic novel, 'The Man sitting in the Corridor' by French author Marguerite Duras (she wrote the novel The Lover and the film Hiroshima, Mon Amour) contains little to no dialogue. Duras is an expert with poetic prose and in this novel she paints a vivid picture of a man and a woman having sex in an alley from the POV of a voyeur. Despite its erotic content, it should be available in a local library.

WOW. That is a work of art.

 

[moonlitclover]

The trick, in my opinion, is to keep the story moving with vivid sensory (all 5 senses) description in 1st person and from both urgent POVs to change the rhythm of the story and keep it vibrant ... from suspenseful desire, to frenzied lust, last minute apprehension and orgasm. What more do you need from a one-night (30-minute) stand?

I think you're on to something there. It would be a challenge, but removing dialogue would require more intensified non-verbal communication, which could be incredibly erotic. I've read collared_dirtygirl's stories and I think she does this very well. Her style across the board is very focused and her economy of language makes the story feel very intense. I wish she'd write more too!

I'm looking forward to checking out your story, CharleyH - sounds like it will be fun.

 

[moonlitclover]

Sorry for the back to back posts but CharleyH, THANKS. That was beautifully done and the only words that come to mind post 1st read through are all related to electricity and vibrance. Might I inquire as to why you removed it from Lit?

 

[CharleyH]

Sorry for the back to back posts but CharleyH, THANKS. That was beautifully done and the only words that come to mind post 1st read through are all related to electricity and vibrance. Might I inquire as to why you removed it from Lit?

Thank you moonlitclover and also PolyLvr.

I'm glad you enjoyed it. To answer your question, I removed it, along with all but one story that was written specifically for AH authors of the day, because I'd received all the feedback that I could on each of them. There was no more purpose to housing it on Lit, at least for for me. I removed my stories to either improve them or shop them around.

PS: there are loads of stories that can be told without dialogue, IMO. There is the scenario where both people are deaf, the scenario where neither character understands the language of the other ... a drunken night in a bar, a brief encounter in an alley, a hand job at a downtown massage parlour. Sex, in itself, isn't about story or dialogue. It's a celebration of pleasures: sights, touch/feel, taste, smell, sound, emotion and action/reaction.

 

[driphoney]

Hm, I should humble myself a bit. Since the time I wrote 'The Screening', I have grown as a writer and have a much more critical eye, and while I see that it could be tightened, it still stands as a good example of a story that uses all 5 senses, of a story that builds sexual tension via two different POVs, and it tells two stories surrounding a single passionate moment that mean/meant different things to each character. Also, there is a bare minimum of dialogue. I use dialogue in this story only when absolutely necessary. Nevertheless, it's still hh-hot! lol

If you are interested, it is still online at a Lit members personal site. FYI, it is a lesbian story and when I removed it from Lit, it was graded by readers between 4.72 to 4.75 (I don't exactly recall) if that makes any difference to you.

Link: The Screening

On another note, and again you have to excuse my memory, but I think that the short erotic novel, 'The Man sitting in the Corridor' by French author Marguerite Duras (she wrote the novel The Lover and the film Hiroshima, Mon Amour) contains little to no dialogue. Duras is an expert with poetic prose and in this novel she paints a vivid picture of a man and a woman having sex in an alley from the POV of a voyeur. Despite its erotic content, it should be available in a local library.

Thanks. I'm very late getting back to this thread, but thanks for putting the link up. My eyelids are drooping and I'm about the land nose first onto the keyboard, but I'll try to read it tomorrow after my morning class. (Whoever dreamed up Saturday college ....) I just can't give it the concentration it deserves now.

I'll also look up the Duras, though I'm going to have to start a list of recommended readings, either that or give up posting altogether! (Yep, I'm only 2 chapters behind in art and Malthus continues to sit untouched along with Tio's recommended Foucault. <sigh>)