Infedelity in marriage

CrimsonMaiden

Pretty in Pink
Joined
Jul 10, 2004
Posts
13,481
Is there anyone here who has dealt with this (being the faithful and not the cheater) and managed to salvage their marriage and make things work? I don't want to discuss this out in the open forum, but if you've been in this situation, I would really appreciate a pm. I need to talk to someone who has been through this and come out the other side.
 
well it depends.. u know if u r life partner is admitting the mistake and swears to not repeat the mistake again,, then yeah the negotiations can work.... every one deserves a second chance...
 
I am a husband o ws cheated on

Is there anyone here who has dealt with this (being the faithful and not the cheater) and managed to salvage their marriage and make things work? I don't want to discuss this out in the open forum, but if you've been in this situation, I would really appreciate a pm. I need to talk to someone who has been through this and come out the other side.

I was cheated on by wife and old boyfriend. I thought that I had it my intestinal fortitude to forgive her, but after I just about killed her old boyfriend, even though he started it in my living room, my whole family has come down on my head about the reason I should have just kept mouth shut and let things be stable.

Well I am not one to do that so I went and traded my Camper off on a 2004 four wheel drive dakota. Signed the house over to my wife and started putting my stuff into the truck that I am taking wth me. My wife called my father who came out and asked where I am going to live. He asked what apartment complex I was moving into.

I am not moving into a apartment. My uncles 14X70 Mobil home in Wyoming has been vacant scince he died two years ago. My cousin said that if I paid the Tax's and took care of the place that I could stay for as long as I want. She lives in Sacremento California.

The place is two hundred miles from anywhere except one Piggly Wiggly a hundred miles away with EMS sevices right next to it. I was asked what I was going to do about the clinical trials I am in for MRSA anti-biotics. I am removing myself from them. My mother said that she had thought that I understood that they were my only hope of surviving past the next two years.

My feeling is this, I am tired of control of my life being in other peoples hands. I'm going to a place that I can die without people telling me I have to forgive, Infedelity, controling, coniving, bunch of family that just want me to keep my mouth shut and go with thier flow. I am going to a place where I do not have to kiss anyones ass.

I turned a copy of my last will and testement over to my sister who read it and started crying. She said that this was the last week that I would be seen by anyone in the family. My mother read the document and started crying herself. I have already made araingments to be creamated, there will no memorial sevice, my life is not remarkable enough. The funeral director will disseminate my ashes in the Black Hills. My family is not to be told I am dead until a week after the event or discovery.They are to chaulk it up as another day.

My life has been controled to this point, my death will not be. I am leaving next weekend for the thousand mile trip out there. My wife and father have been thanked for the hell they have created. Now I am going to take two years a place I consider heaven. If I last that long. When the event happens there will be no more embarrasment to family. My wife can go torture another man of remaine my wife until the date of death. She is thinking she can change my mind with sex tonight, the first in two decades except for what I forced several weeks ago. Hang the lot of them.
 
I was cheated on by wife and old boyfriend. I thought that I had it my intestinal fortitude to forgive her, but after I just about killed her old boyfriend, even though he started it in my living room, my whole family has come down on my head about the reason I should have just kept mouth shut and let things be stable.

Well I am not one to do that so I went and traded my Camper off on a 2004 four wheel drive dakota. Signed the house over to my wife and started putting my stuff into the truck that I am taking wth me. My wife called my father who came out and asked where I am going to live. He asked what apartment complex I was moving into.
. . .
. . . Hang the lot of them.

I got the impression from the question that this wasn't the response thought of.

"Coming out the other side" indicates, to me, that normal service (trust, respect, etc..) is resumed to a large extent, if not fully.
 
I make them pay me a cash bond they forfeit if there's any more nonsense. Show me the money bitch.
 
deleted my response when I realized this is yet another dead thread revisited.

Damn zombie threads.
 
Is there anyone here who has dealt with this (being the faithful and not the cheater) and managed to salvage their marriage and make things work? I don't want to discuss this out in the open forum, but if you've been in this situation, I would really appreciate a pm. I need to talk to someone who has been through this and come out the other side.


Hope you figured it out... or at least turned it into a good story...
 
My husband thought that he was leaving Saturday for Wyoming. He is not.
He is laying in the CCU at the hospitol after the heart surgon had to seal a MRSA lesion on his heart.
When my husband woke up after the surgery he was very confused for a little while. Was asking where he was at. Then it developed into why was he there. His mother told him he had lost alot of blood and they preformed surgery and restarted the Antibiotics that were being used in the clinical trials. My husband then said I am asking the question again. Why am I here? Everybody understood at that point he did not care that he was alive. He then hit the call button and called the nurse over, she asked what he needed and his answer was to disconect him from all of the IVs and life suport equipment. The nurse called the Doctor in at that point and he explained that if they did that he would die in about six hours.
My husband said that was the idea, there was no joy in his life, there was only control, at least he could opt out of that. Told me that I had spent three decades Robbing him blind with nothing to say that I was a wife. Told his father and mother that they were now expert in controling lives, said they could be well paid in phsy ops by the CIA and thanked us for being so nice about not letting him not have a life. He then said so why did we bother to expend resources in keeping him alive. After all we did not want him to have a real life. The next words really hurt. Oh, I got it, you need some one around to treat as a fly while you pull its wings off leaving him alive enough to torture some more. The doctor cleared us out at that point into the waiting room telling us that patients wake up with a very large confused chip on thier shoulder but he had never seen this kind of animosity in his life, He asked why. My father in law spoke up first about the need to control his sons mouth and the plan that he had made with me to keep him from being out of control and being too embarassing to the family. Also said that it has been impossible to keep my husbands mouth shut for the last eleven years. The Doctor was listening intently to him.
He said that it was no wonder that my husband did not care to live any longer. Then he turned to me and asked what I had done and I told the whole family about the affair I had with my old boyfriend. Father in law spoke up at that point saying that if I had just a little self control and kept my panties on his son would still be able to be controled. Mother in law did not know about the plan his father had to keep his son from causing him to much embarasment with everyone he knew. The doctor said he can't beleive that my father in law would go to such leanths, and I could be talked into such a plan. Told us we were not allowed any more visitation. Also said that if he had his way we would be prosicuted for modern day slavery. What we did we did not have a right to do.
Father in law said that it was a family matter and the doctor did not have any say. I just listened to what every one else had to say, knew that I had ruined my life as well as my husbands, and puked all over the floor.
First my mother in law slaped his father then she turned to me and did the same. I deserved it! Father in law asked what that was for and MIL said that the whole family had used my husband for their own ends, it made her sick my mother who has been staying with us and sitting in the waiting room listening, stood up and told me that I was a sinner in the eyes of god. That I had better be a good wife to my husband who had been subserviant to everyone else and would need my help for a long time now.
My husband just wants to die. The nurses just about hate us and told us to go home, That they did not need my husband to get any more agitated than he already was. My own mother wants to have me drawn and quarterd. Said that I had denied my husband and given myself to another man, That made me no better than a slut. That also hurt. Said my husband was a man of honor but I had no honor. My mother amended her will to put my husband in charge of my inheritance if he survives.
His mother called from the hospitol and says that he probably wont last the evening, The doctor says he dosn't want to fight for a life. He has been told he is not suppossed to be anything but a tool for others to use for to long. Even a tool wears out eventualy if it is not taken care of.
 
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