True Southerners

[cloudy]

Boy do I recognize myself and my family :

1. Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, --you "PITCH" them.

2. Only a true Southerner knows how many fish, collard greens, turnip greens,peas, beans, etc. make up "a mess."

3. Only a true Southerner can show or point out to you the general direction of "yonder."

4. Only a true Southerner knows exactly how long "directly" is - as in: "Going to town, be back directly."

5. All true Southerners, even babies, know that "Gimme some sugar" is not a request for the white, granular sweet substance that sits in a pretty little bowl on the middle of the table.

6. All true Southerners know exactly when "by and by" is. They might not use the term, but they know the concept well.

7. Only a true Southerner knows instinctively that the best gesture of solace for a neighbor who's got trouble is a plate of hot fried chicken and a big bowl of cold potato salad. (If the neighbor's trouble is a real crisis, they also know to add a large banana puddin'!)

8. Only true Southerners grow up knowing the difference between "right near" and "a right far piece." They also know that "just down the road" can be one mile or 20.

9. Only a true Southerner both knows and understands the difference between a redneck, a good ol' boy, and po' white trash.

10. No true Southerner would ever assume that the car with the flashing turn signal is actually going to make a turn.

11. A true Southerner knows that "fixin'" can be used as a noun, a verb, or an adverb.

2. Only a true Southerner knows that the term "booger" can be a resident of the nose, a descriptive, as in "that ol' booger," a first name or something that jumps out at you in the dark and scares you senseless.

13. Only true Southerners make friends while standing in lines. We don't do "queues", we do "lines," and when we're "in line," we talk to everybody!

14. Put 100 true Southerners in a room and half of them will discover they're related, even if only by marriage.

15. True Southerners never refer to one person as "y'all."

16. True Southerners know grits come from corn and how to eat them.

17. Every true Southerner knows tomatoes with eggs, bacon, grits, and coffee are perfectly wonderful; that redeye gravy is also a breakfast food; and that fried green tomatoes are not a breakfast food.

18. When you hear someone say, "Well, I caught myself lookin' .. ," you know you are in the presence of a genuine Southerner!

19. Only true Southerners say "sweet tea" and "sweet milk." Sweet tea indicates the need for sugar and lots of it - we do not like our tea unsweetened. "Sweet milk" means you don't want buttermilk.

20. And a true Southerner knows you don't scream obscenities at little old ladies who drive 30 MPH on the freeway. You just say, "Bless her heart" and go your own way.


 

[Salvor-Hardon]

Don't forget "Cut on a light switch"

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Ya'll also means 'your oil' .

I was in Alabama one time, at a filling station, and the attendant asked 'How's ya'll?" He wasnt curious about our contentment.

 

[TE999]

A true Southerner knows when someone asks him or her to 'mash the button' in an elevator they don't want him or her to hit it with their briefcase or the heel of their shoe.

A true Southerner knows when you ask directions and someone says 'Well now, there's two ways to go, darlin' ' you're gonna get told a story.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

As a second generation Californian I plead interested ignorance.

 

[Handley_Page]

" 1. Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, --you "PITCH" them."


The term hissie fit is often used round here.
Please explain the terms.

 

[3113]

As a second generation Californian I plead interested ignorance.

Duuuude! I'm sure there's like, a list for us native CA's, but like, it's probably not so righteous.

 

[driphoney]

" 1. Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, --you "PITCH" them."


The term hissie fit is often used round here.
Please explain the terms.

I grew up with the term, too, and in the North.

Hi, HP. Been missin' ya.

 

[cloudy]

" 1. Only a true Southerner knows the difference between a hissie fit and a conniption, and that you don't "HAVE" them, --you "PITCH" them."


The term hissie fit is often used round here.
Please explain the terms.

A hissie fit is a diva thing, and a conniption isn't.

Hope that helps.

 

[Handley_Page]

A hissie fit is a diva thing, and a conniption isn't.

Hope that helps.

I take it, then, that a hissie fit is pitched by a female who's getting hysterical and very vocal, where a Conniption is a man turning red with high blood pressure and "steam comin' out his ears."

Evening all!

 

[Bobby_3111]

Grandparents usually called Pawpaw and Momo.

When ya order a Coke from a local resturant they ask you what kind you want. (coke means soda pop to most southerners, which could be anything from coca cola to 7-up)

I grew up in Alabama, done a stint in the army and traveled a lot of places, there's a world of difference between other places and the south.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Grandparents usually called Pawpaw and Momo.

When ya order a Coke from a local resturant they ask you what kind you want. (coke means soda pop to most southerners, which could be anything from coca cola to 7-up)

I grew up in Alabama, done a stint in the army and traveled a lot of places, there's a world of difference between other places and the south.

I suspect that only a Southerner truly appreciates Red Cream Soda. I'm somewhat fond of the stuff, on those rare occasions I can find it, but I wouldn't want to make it a major staple y'unnerstan'.

 

[Katyusha]

I suspect that only a Southerner truly appreciates Red Cream Soda. I'm somewhat fond of the stuff, on those rare occasions I can find it, but I wouldn't want to make it a major staple y'unnerstan'.

I love red cream soda.

 

[Trinique_Fire]

I suspect that only a Southerner truly appreciates Red Cream Soda. I'm somewhat fond of the stuff, on those rare occasions I can find it, but I wouldn't want to make it a major staple y'unnerstan'.

How about birch beer? I both love and miss that soda. *sigh*

On that note, my grandma used to say "sody-pop"

 

[voluptuary_manque]

How about birch beer? I both love and miss that soda. *sigh*

On that note, my grandma used to say "sody-pop"

Isn't that a Northeast thing? I don't recall ever seeing it on the Left Coast though I have heard the name.

 

[fifty5]

Oops, sorry. I thought this was about London, etc. versus Yorkshire etc. but it seems to be one of those foreign, USA things...

 

[jayce1066]

"Pull the door to..." means close the door.
A car's foot-feed is the gas pedal.
A car's turtle-hull is the trunk, which I think is called a boot by some folks across the pond.
Dinner is the meal you eat at noon.

 

[fifty5]

"Pull the door to..." means close the door.

because outside doors open inwards. Surely this isn't just Southern, because it also crosses the pond (at least in our North).

A car's foot-feed is the gas pedal.
A car's turtle-hull is the trunk, which I think is called a boot by some folks across the pond.
Dinner is the meal you eat at noon.

That depends on your class, dahling, not your geography. We (and all PLU) eat dinner in the evening. The working class eats dinner at lunch time!

 

[cloudy]

A car's foot-feed is the gas pedal.
A car's turtle-hull is the trunk

Never heard these, they must be region-specific.

Dinner is the meal you eat at noon.

That depends on your class, dahling, not your geography. We (and all PLU) eat dinner in the evening. The working class eats dinner at lunch time!

Not so, babe...not in the south. The reason the noon meal is called dinner is because that's when farmers (those people we ALL depend on to eat, and a big percentage of my family) start very early in the morning, and so have their big meal in the middle of the day, to sustain them through dark, which here can occur between eight and nine o'clock. The evening meal is "supper."

 

[Handley_Page]

because outside doors open inwards. Surely this isn't just Southern, because it also crosses the pond (at least in our North).

That depends on your class, dahling, not your geography. We (and all PLU) eat dinner in the evening. The working class eats dinner at lunch time!

One should not forget Tea at the end of the afternoon.
May I press you to a cucumber sandwich ?
More tea, Vicar ?

 

[oggbashan]

One should not forget Tea at the end of the afternoon.
May I press you to a cucumber sandwich ?
More tea, Vicar ?

Most Vicars I know would prefer to avoid being offered a cup of tea. Their parishioners seem to think that Vicars ALWAYS drink tea and never need a toilet, and couldn't possibly be allowed to use the toilet without it having been prepared as if for a Royal visit.

I LIKE cucumber sandwiches, particularly when made with thin bread with the crusts removed. I also like bacon butties, bacon and egg butties and sandwiches made with cold baked beans - but not at the same time as cucumber sandwiches.

Og

 

[Liar]

Oops, sorry. I thought this was about London, etc. versus Yorkshire etc. but it seems to be one of those foreign, USA things...

So, are you a Northern Bastard or a Southern Fairy?

 

[fifty5]

Not so, babe...not in the south. The reason the noon meal is called dinner is because that's when farmers (those people we ALL depend on to eat, and a big percentage of my family) start very early in the morning, and so have their big meal in the middle of the day, to sustain them through dark, which here can occur between eight and nine o'clock. The evening meal is "supper."

That's what I said my dear (please imagine the most patronising British accent you can), working class!

 

[fifty5]

One should not forget Tea at the end of the afternoon.
May I press you to a cucumber sandwich ?
More tea, Vicar ?

I assume the crusts are cut orf? And that you've nothing stronger to offer, such as a rare fino sherry?

 

[fifty5]

So, are you a Northern Bastard or a Southern Fairy?

A Tyke, when I'm not taking the piss...

(Explanatory note for our colonial cousins across the pond: a Tyke is Yorkshire bred and born.)

I do like taking the piss!