New Lesbian Serial: Advice?

[VeritasMaximus]

New writer here with need for some advice. I've just submitted my first segment of a serial on the site. Each segment will deal with some aspect of lesbian sexuality and/or identity. The first segment is about a lesbian who ends up in a steamy sexual affair with a work-mate who happens to be the opposite of her "type." She typically goes for feminine lesbians similar to herself, but the woman she gets into this affair with is extremely masculine in affect and dress. There is a strange heat between them that makes their interactions border on something dangerous.

I plan on adding other characters in each segment to draw out the problems and pleasures of lesbian sexuality. It will be like a literary version of the "L Word." The difference is that it will be believable and all the women will not be West Hollywood divas with perfect hair and makeup.

Thoughts? Boring? Interesting? How developed do the characters need to be? Do readers prefer more character or more plot or both?

Thanks in advance.

 

[Stella_Omega]

It depends on whether you are aiming this at a male, or a female, audience. If you are writing for women, go for a lot of character development, even some melodrama. Character development can be the plot.

If you are writing for men, talk a lot about their juicy pussies and their screams of passion.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

If you are writing for men, talk a lot about their juicy pussies and their screams of passion.

And include lots of pictures. Nods sagely

 

[TE999]

Check out the Top Listed Lesbian Sex stories on this site. That will give you some clues as to what most readers enjoy.

 

[Penelope Street]

Readers have different tastes.

No matter how good your story is, some won't like it, but if you write a good story, a fair number of readers will enjoy your work and a precious few will let you know of their appreciation.

My lowest rated stories tend to be the ones where I tried to give the readers what I imagined they all wanted. My highest rated ones are those I wrote to please myself- as if I was the intended reader. So my advice is not to worry about reader's perceived desires; write the story you want to write and then find out who else likes it.

 

[DG Hear]

Readers have different tastes.

No matter how good your story is, some won't like it, but if you write a good story, a fair number of readers will enjoy your work and a precious few will let you know of their appreciation.

My lowest rated stories tend to be the ones where I tried to give the readers what I imagined they all wanted. My highest rated ones are those I wrote to please myself- as if I was the intended reader. So my advice is not to worry about reader's perceived desires; write the story you want to write and then find out who else likes it.

I totally agree! Please yourself first, that is, in your writing.
DG

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

This your lucky day for I happen to be an expert about lesbians; two of them live next door.

First, your characters need to be grossly obese, and depressed enough that they neglect their hygiene and grooming and attire. They curse like sailors, so you wanna include plenty of it. And they quarrel about everything...the dog shit on the clean carpet, one of them hides sandwiches in the drawer with the socks. Really anything is grist for the mill. And one of them requires inpatient psychiatric treatment each week.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Some readers eat Lesbian Serial every morning for breakfast

 

[Dragonlipz]

Sounds interesting. You seem to have a grasp of the subject and a direction for the project. Go for it and have fun. Ignore the trolls....
Unless, like me, you enjoy feeding and baiting them. I've got a man-love thing going on with one of the resident trolls (JAMESBJOHNSON) who cannot accept our mutual passion. I've tried to ignore it, JBJ, I truly have tried, but when you spout that misogynistic, racist, inbred nonsense it gives me fever: FEVER!
That is the risk you face when you walk on the wild side.....JBJ and I are like a dysfunctional version of brokebutt mountain......

 

[VeritasMaximus]

Thanks for the helpful advice, you guys. I'm looking forward to the first installment being posted, and I'm hopeful that it will continue to be fun to write. It is right now, that is for sure.

Thanks again one and all.

 

[fifty5]

Readers have different tastes.

No matter how good your story is, some won't like it, but if you write a good story, a fair number of readers will enjoy your work and a precious few will let you know of their appreciation.

My lowest rated stories tend to be the ones where I tried to give the readers what I imagined they all wanted. My highest rated ones are those I wrote to please myself- as if I was the intended reader. So my advice is not to worry about reader's perceived desires; write the story you want to write and then find out who else likes it.

As DG wrote, Penelope hit the spot!

I do differ with his throw-away humour: "Please yourself first, that is, in your writing." If it isn't hot enough to justify using it as a fantasy for your own satisfaction, then you'd better have very professional writing skills if you want it to turn your readers on!

I take it for granted, since you are publishing here, that you do want to turn your readers on, yeah?

 

[Guest]

Some readers eat Lesbian Serial every morning for breakfast

Now THAT made me laugh. I needed that. Thanks.

~Paul

 

[TxRad]

Some readers eat Lesbian Serial every morning for breakfast

Does that take warm milk or cold?

Inquiring minds and all that.

 

[Handley_Page]

Does that take warm milk or cold?

Inquiring minds and all that.

Surely that depends on the weather ?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Sounds interesting. You seem to have a grasp of the subject and a direction for the project. Go for it and have fun. Ignore the trolls....
Unless, like me, you enjoy feeding and baiting them. I've got a man-love thing going on with one of the resident trolls (JAMESBJOHNSON) who cannot accept our mutual passion. I've tried to ignore it, JBJ, I truly have tried, but when you spout that misogynistic, racist, inbred nonsense it gives me fever: FEVER!
That is the risk you face when you walk on the wild side.....JBJ and I are like a dysfunctional version of brokebutt mountain......

The gals next door really are fat and dysfunctional. And the one really does hade sandwiches. I think cute lesbians are probably an urban legend.

 

[TxRad]

The gals next door really are fat and dysfunctional. And the one really does hade sandwiches. I think cute lesbians are probably an urban legend.

Out of the dozen or so Lesbians I know personally, none are fat or dysfunctional. All are warm friendly loving people. Several are very cute and at least half boarder on beautiful, so your urban legend doesn't hold water.

Give being stupid a rest, will ya. You're giving old people a bad name.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

Out of the dozen or so Lesbians I know personally, none are fat or dysfunctional. All are warm friendly loving people. Several are very cute and at least half boarder on beautiful, so your urban legend doesn't hold water.

Give being stupid a rest, will ya. You're giving old people a bad name.

In your case theyre trying to discourage you without being insensitive. I imagine most women tell you theyre gay. ROB has the exact same problem.

 

[TxRad]

In your case theyre trying to discourage you without being insensitive. I imagine most women tell you theyre gay. ROB has the exact same problem.

Like I said, lay off the stupid remarks for a while, you're giving old people a bad name. You have no idea what you are talking about but you ramble on and on.

 

[TE999]

Some readers eat Lesbian Serial every morning for breakfast

I think you mean 'Lesbios', just add milk and they eat themselves.

 

[Dragonlipz]

The gals next door really are fat and dysfunctional. And the one really does hade sandwiches. I think cute lesbians are probably an urban legend.

Who can think about lesbians at a time like this!? JBJ, you and I are like peas and carrots, Gog and Magog, eggs and onions: destined to find ourselves in a sweaty, sticky, sultry embrace.....locked, cocked, and loaded for ecstacy!!!!!
KnowwhatImean???

 

[Dragonlipz]

Out of the dozen or so Lesbians I know personally, none are fat or dysfunctional. All are warm friendly loving people. Several are very cute and at least half boarder on beautiful, so your urban legend doesn't hold water.

Give being stupid a rest, will ya. You're giving old people a bad name.

Not true, TX, he's only making himself look stupid but I know the real JBJ! I know that he's more than the sum of his parts (paltry as they might seem!).....indeed, he's only a cock-hair from awakening to the greatness within.....JBJ, join with me, join me now as a believer.....cast out the infidel, cast out the non-believer, cast out the doubt and join with me......as one.....ecstacy awaits.....

 

[VeritasMaximus]

Thanks again everybody.

The first chapter posted today, as did a poem I submitted. Please be so kind as to read and vote, offer comments/feedback. I would be very grateful.

http://www.literotica.com/stories/memberpage.php?uid=1158840&page=submissions

 

[Stella_Omega]

Well, it will be popular with the men.

You need to work on the erotic aspect of erotica, I would say-- A grudge fuck between two women can be sexy and gritty and hot. But that sex scene is perfunctory, unimaginative and inaccurate-- and not much erotic, not even in a dark way. Do you know what happens when a pissed off butch slams you down on her "huge strapon?" The damn thing is a hunk of silicone and she cannot feel where it's going in your cunt. It ain't so much about coming hard and wonderful, it's about screaming in agony as your bladder ruptures, or your cervix bruises. Seriously, a real cockswoman would do it differently, even if it's a grudge fuck.

 

[VeritasMaximus]

Not exactly what I had in mind when I asked for feedback, but thanks just the same.

I sense a deep resentment and much anger in your response, and I don't think it has much to do with my story. Whatever.

 

[Guest]

Well, it will be popular with the men.

You need to work on the erotic aspect of erotica, I would say-- A grudge fuck between two women can be sexy and gritty and hot. But that sex scene is perfunctory, unimaginative and inaccurate-- and not much erotic, not even in a dark way. Do you know what happens when a pissed off butch slams you down on her "huge strapon?" The damn thing is a hunk of silicone and she cannot feel where it's going in your cunt. It ain't so much about coming hard and wonderful, it's about screaming in agony as your bladder ruptures, or your cervix bruises. Seriously, a real cockswoman would do it differently, even if it's a grudge fuck.

I'm gonna agree with Stella here and say that the story wasn't erotic. I am a man, and it wasn't popular with me though. I like the idea of one being "taken" by the other, butI have a feeling that shes right on about the strapon and the inability of the other to feel and control the thrusts and sensations. Many women are not properly equipped internally (size wise) to handle a "huge strapon" wielded by someone in a vengeful mood. I think that for accuracy fingers would have been better.

Not exactly what I had in mind when I asked for feedback, but thanks just the same.

I sense a deep resentment and much anger in your response, and I don't think it has much to do with my story. Whatever.

Let me clue you in on something. If you want feedback, and you ask for feedback, feedback is what you get. Not all of it is going to be positive. While negative feedback hurts your pride (trust me, I know.) it does serve to make yuo a better writer IF you choose to learn from it.

I took the feedback from my first story and decided to NEVER again write in the second person. The comments on the thread wounded me a little. Until I realized that all I wanted was positive feedback. I wanted someone to reassure me and go "what a wonderful story!"

Well, "what a wonderful story" does not help me grow into a better author. Let me give you something that will: Find an editor. Find a good one and don't let them go. My editor has been holding onto my story for a while now, making more and more corrections. Gone are the grammatical and the gerunds and participles. Now it is in realism and authorship. And I am becoming a better author for it. I'm learning. Get an author, be grateful for feedback, and remember, you asked for it.

Personally, I didn't find any anger in Stella's post.

~Paul