How to contact a Dom online
- Thread starter rakess
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Daddys_Touch
Experienced
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Er, say hello and strike up a conversation? Say why you're messaging him, ask him things you'd like to know about him, maybe share some things about yourself you think he might be interested in (or just to prevent the message descending into a list of questions).
chy_girl
Literotica Guru
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I started with general conversation after interacting with him on a thread. We gradually went from 'Hi there! What state are you in' to 'What's your flavor of choice?'
Ironically enough, my Sir now is a much better fit (no pun intended) that the guy who PM'd me with the sole intention of finding a sub.
That's my limited experience in a nutshell, but I'm still learning the ropes (pun mostly intended).
Good luck on your search.
Kajira Callista
Empty
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Do doms like pick up lines?
Primalex
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Hm.
We like the display of effort, like anyone else I guess. We don't like template message.
Does it have to be a pick up line? No.
Will it hurt? Not more or less than any other introduction.
DeepGreenEyes
Whittled
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Just press "caps lock" and start typing about the personalities of your many cats.
rosco rathbone
1. f3e5 2. g4??
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"How to contact a Dom online"???
W
where
Guest
I like to tease until I get e-spanked.
ImOnIt
I'm so happy:3
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Vixandra
Everything well in hand!
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Form letters are usually pretty easy to spot and just as quickly deleted and the sender blocked for many of us PYL's.
Personally, I like someone who notes something in my profile, showing that they obviously read it.
PS: PYL/pyl stands for pick your label for the Dominant or submissive aspect as needed.
Personally, I like someone who notes something in my profile, showing that they obviously read it.
PS: PYL/pyl stands for pick your label for the Dominant or submissive aspect as needed.
ZRT
The 'Yarch's Ass Kicker
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W
where
Guest
.....
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minx1
Enchanted Rebel Girl
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My advice would be the same as (the serious advice) some have already given...just start a conversation the way you normally would. I believe that respect should be earned but having said that it wouldnt do you any harm to be a little respectful in your approach.
As for pick up lines...well personally they either make my skin crawl or make me not take the person too seriously.
Just be yourself.
As for pick up lines...well personally they either make my skin crawl or make me not take the person too seriously.
Just be yourself.
W
where
Guest
if it's done with post-modern irony, it can be funny and funny is good.
Funny is good, but aiming for post-modern irony on the Internet is bloody difficult without resorting to using [/irony] tags. When it goes wrong, as it's likely to you, you come off looking a bit of a tit.
sadangel
angel Graham!!
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I agree with this. I sent the man who is now my Sir a pm to ask about a topic he seemed to know a lot about. That's how our relationship began. I did let him know early on that I wanted to be friends but would not be adverse to more. He answered my questions and I asked more. Then it just started.
W
where
Guest
.....
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subish2009
Literotica Guru
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well if you've had a bit of banter going beforehand it could work.
that said I generally just make my presence felt before approaching someone and then I bombard them with self porn PMs until i get an acknowledgment. Well it worked with Rosco
I agree that it could work... See, this is why it's so important to be yourself. I'm like you (I think it was you...) with the teasing-until-I-get-spanked attitude. The doms that like that are the doms that I'm going to get along with. That being said, there are plenty of doms who HATE that kind of sub...obviously, they're not a good fit for me (or you
).So, for the OP, whatever approach you try just needs to be authentic...if it fits your sense of humor to use a tongue-in-cheek pick-up line, go for it! If the dom appreciates the joke, then you're off to a good start; if he doesn't, he may not be what you're looking for anyway.
My on-line Dom wrote me first and commented on how much he liked my av...it wasn't anything HUGELY original, but it got the conversation started and fireworks quickly started flying after that. Chemistry will take over, if it's there.
Good luck!
sailorpaul
Really Experienced
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- Jun 30, 2009
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Picking up a Dom - guide for smart women
I much prefer brilliant submissive women, so my take on your question is to skip the trite pickup line and ask something based on what the Dom has said or written in a thread or story.
Here are the two best opening approaches that have EVER been sent my way:
And this one arrived via Lit Feedback to the author...
Needless to say these two women have turned out to be two of the three smartest women I have EVER met. Both have turned out to be absolute joys to know and have in my life.
:caning:
I much prefer brilliant submissive women, so my take on your question is to skip the trite pickup line and ask something based on what the Dom has said or written in a thread or story.
Here are the two best opening approaches that have EVER been sent my way:
"Hello.
I was quite intrigued by the personal that you posted. I've only discovered the bdsm lifestyle earlier this year. I am quite nervous in responding to your post and also at a bit of a loss of words. But you seem trustful, mature, and experienced so I thought I would give it a go."
I was quite intrigued by the personal that you posted. I've only discovered the bdsm lifestyle earlier this year. I am quite nervous in responding to your post and also at a bit of a loss of words. But you seem trustful, mature, and experienced so I thought I would give it a go."
And this one arrived via Lit Feedback to the author...
"I read your profile last night along with the entries about A_____. I read your stories and poems today. You write very well. More importantly, you seem to really understand what D/s is about. You clearly respect and care deeply about your partners. You also seem to appreciate the fact that the more intelligent, capable, and accomplished a woman is, the more satisfying dominance over her will be.
So, here is my question: in your opinion, what motivates such a woman to crave spankings, humiliation, deprivation, and loss of control? I've always fantasized about these things, but have only had one partner who understood (as a result, he was, of course, by far my best lover). He claims he knew immediately that I was a (unfulfilled) sub. I confess, I've been trying to break off the relationship for months, then I picture his Dom "look" and I go crawling back.
The rational side of me (I'm an xxxPaulEditsOutHighPowerJobxxx) needs to understand this. The feeling side of me says why try to analyze it--- be grateful I've finally recognised how big a part of me this is and go with it.
So, in your (vast) experience, what do we (subs) have in common (if anything), or are we all just hopelessly kinky, perverted ladies (sluts)?"
So, here is my question: in your opinion, what motivates such a woman to crave spankings, humiliation, deprivation, and loss of control? I've always fantasized about these things, but have only had one partner who understood (as a result, he was, of course, by far my best lover). He claims he knew immediately that I was a (unfulfilled) sub. I confess, I've been trying to break off the relationship for months, then I picture his Dom "look" and I go crawling back.
The rational side of me (I'm an xxxPaulEditsOutHighPowerJobxxx) needs to understand this. The feeling side of me says why try to analyze it--- be grateful I've finally recognised how big a part of me this is and go with it.
So, in your (vast) experience, what do we (subs) have in common (if anything), or are we all just hopelessly kinky, perverted ladies (sluts)?"
Needless to say these two women have turned out to be two of the three smartest women I have EVER met. Both have turned out to be absolute joys to know and have in my life.
:caning:
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Herefornow
Literotica Guru
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- Nov 24, 2007
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I agree that it could work... See, this is why it's so important to be yourself. I'm like you (I think it was you...) with the teasing-until-I-get-spanked attitude. The doms that like that are the doms that I'm going to get along with. That being said, there are plenty of doms who HATE that kind of sub...obviously, they're not a good fit for me (or you
So, for the OP, whatever approach you try just needs to be authentic...if it fits your sense of humor to use a tongue-in-cheek pick-up line, go for it! If the dom appreciates the joke, then you're off to a good start; if he doesn't, he may not be what you're looking for anyway.
My on-line Dom wrote me first and commented on how much he liked my av...it wasn't anything HUGELY original, but it got the conversation started and fireworks quickly started flying after that. Chemistry will take over, if it's there.
Good luck!
I agree - the approach needs to be authentic and allow the real you to show through. Isn't that what makes Lit so wonderful - you have the opportunity to be the real you without anyone making judgements. For me most contacts resulting from a short thoughtful PM have been the spark for something more. If there is a connection, it will happen quite soon - if not - there are many more fish in the sea.
Good Luck.
