Huck's Hypothetical #1: Someone you desire, or someone you admire?

[Huckleman2000]

Who would you rather have a fling with - someone you admire, or someone you desire?
Yes, I know they can be the same person, but for the purposes of this discussion, say you're at an impromptu holiday party with a wide circle of your friends and acquaintances and familiar strangers. You're free to pursue a dalliance - take someone home, seduce them, and have sex with them. One of the possibilities is someone you admire, the other is someone you desire.

Whom do you choose, and why?

 

[Vermilion]

If it's someone whom I admire then it's possible I'd rather have something more than just a fling with them. If it's just a fuck then go for the desire, definitely.

 

[vrosej10]

the shorter the fling, the more I lean to desire. If it was an affair, with a longer relationship, then someone I admire, someone with something going on between their ears. There is nothing worse than a long term affair with someone who can't hold a conversation, no matter how hot they are (I once had a fling with a toasting hotty who needed to take his shoes off to count to twenty. Not good).

 

[Verdad]

Desire would decide either way. If I admire someone without being attracted to them, then I'm not attracted to them.

The choice, I guess, would have to be between someone with whom there's sexual chemistry but it's obvious there's nothing else there and someone who turns me on and makes me quake in a couple of other ways, too. If he showed interest, the first guy would just fade into the background. Perhaps that's called making my life more complicated than necessary, but I couldn't help myself—if I felt sparks with this awesome person, I'd likely desire him more, too.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I don't fuck people I don't want to fuck. But I can't think of anyone I admire who is completely repugnant to me sexually. Humans are all, potentially, sexual objects, and the empathic response is a powerful thing.

The question would more likely be; would someone I admire be attracted to me? Just because I desire them doesn't mean they feel the same, after all. And most of the adirable ones have been admirable ones have been admired already-- by someone who has glommed on and become their SO.

 

[lance gt]

I don't necesarily want to have sex with someone I admire. I admire people of both genders and find them appealling on an intellectual level. If it's someone I desire physically, she possesses the knowledge of herself and wears it well for me to see. It's the comfort in being with her and the lust she inspires in me. It's not a question of absolute beauty on the outside, but what she exudes from within, that brings me the desire for her.

 

[Dragonlipz]

Having experience with both and been lucky enough to have someone I desired AND admired also deisre and admire me...I have to choose the third option....no substitute, but if ya have to choose, then it should be someone you desire....admiration is not the same as desire....For example, I admire Katharine Graham but I never desired her, on the other hand, I desire Shakira but don't admire her - except that booty! Whew!

 

[Huckleman2000]

Wow, what a bunch of superficial sluts we all are!

The reasons are interesting though - as much as everyone seems to desire some type of relationship with the one they admire, only Stella and Verdad seem to find that both (possibly) sexy and an opportunity for pursuit. Vermillion and vrosej10 take the opposite stand - admiration is something they might avoid in a short-term relationship, in favor of the hotty.

Does anyone even consider the "admired" one for a notch on the bedpost? Or is admiration too tied up with desire in such a case to make them indistinguishable from each other?

Does the fact that you admire someone change how you would behave in bed with them?

 

[lance gt]

Wow, what a bunch of superficial sluts we all are!

The reasons are interesting though - as much as everyone seems to desire some type of relationship with the one they admire, only Stella and Verdad seem to find that both (possibly) sexy and an opportunity for pursuit. Vermillion and vrosej10 take the opposite stand - admiration is something they might avoid in a short-term relationship, in favor of the hotty.

Does anyone even consider the "admired" one for a notch on the bedpost? Or is admiration too tied up with desire in such a case to make them indistinguishable from each other?

Does the fact that you admire someone change how you would behave in bed with them?

I guess it depends on what you admire them for. I might admire a person for being a good pet owner, but I'm not getting a desire out of it to have sex. If I've had the pleasure of a night's offerings in her talents, I'd find that something to desire as an admirable quality. What qualities people do find desirable is up to them. Everyone has their own formula of what gets them going.

 

[Stella_Omega]

Wow, what a bunch of superficial sluts we all are!

The reasons are interesting though - as much as everyone seems to desire some type of relationship with the one they admire, only Stella and Verdad seem to find that both (possibly) sexy and an opportunity for pursuit. Vermillion and vrosej10 take the opposite stand - admiration is something they might avoid in a short-term relationship, in favor of the hotty.

Does anyone even consider the "admired" one for a notch on the bedpost? Or is admiration too tied up with desire in such a case to make them indistinguishable from each other?

Does the fact that you admire someone change how you would behave in bed with them?

I think that's because of the way you phrased the question, though-- two different types of attraction. In a case where someone I admired had no sex appeal for me, I would not want to interact with them sexually. If I had the hots for someone I didn't particularly admire, I wouldn't want anything else to do with them beyond an evening ... or two... or an afternoon... of mutual lust.

I tend to want to be, or at least emulate, the people I admire. I tend to want to possess the people I desire.