Sketchbook

[Palba_Noruda]

This is going to be a thread basically of second drafts. Like a journal of second-ish drafts. I'm going to do a lot of these shaped poems, then I'm going to do some other poems, then after a long while I might do some prose. I have a bunch of writing that needs to be processed and I think this is the place where I'm going to do that for a while. Thanks for being here.

Feel free to jump in with poetry, comments, or just to say hello and have a conversation.

Oh, these shaped poems are part of a different project. I'm very excited about the whole thing, including putting them down here, so I hope you'll indulge me if it seems a little weird. I'll share the other thing when it's ready to looked at.

I think I will be very busy with this thread, which is why I created a new thread. I didn't want to hijack a different thread.

I've been getting a lot inspiration from visual artists lately, part of the reason I'm calling this thread a sketchbook. Do you think that visual artists take a different approach to art making than writers? I feel like visual artists tend to be more interested in process than writers. At least that's the impression I always got through my experience in academic writing classes and in writing groups. I think writers tend to be a little more shy about writing something just for the sake of the experience (reader or possible audience be damned), whereas visual artists have more patience for doing exercises and learning things a bit at a time. Do you think that's true or am I generalizing unfairly? How do poets fit into the whole thing? Artists, writers, musicians?

 

[Palba_Noruda]

used with permission

_________________________
______gay bi straight_________​

_________gay bi straight______​

____________gay bi straight___​

_________gay straight bi______​

______gay straight bi_________​

___gay straight bi____________
______straight gay bi_________​

_________straight gay bi______​

____________straight gay bi___
_________bi gay straight______​

______bi gay straight_________​

___bi gay straight____________
______straight bi gay_________​

_________straight bi gay______​

____________straight bi gay___​

_________________________​

 

[Palba_Noruda]

_):

___________gay____________________________________________
__________bi______________________________________
____straight____________________________________
_________gay__________________________________________________
____________bi____________________________________________
______________straight_________
____________________gay bi________________________________
________________________straight gay____________
_________ bi________________bi straight_______________
___________gay__________________gay_________________________
___________bi straight________bi straight__________________
_________________gay____gay bi__________________________
___________________straight__________

 

[Palba_Noruda]

______________________I know the way out of a laugh______________
____________________________taking shape______________________
________________________________suck and sob__________________
______________________________________beats me_______________
______________________Once I remember_________________________
___________________________all we can become___________________
______________________________permits_________________________
_________________________________licenses_____________________
____________________________________cards with stripes__________
______________________Stay on the misty stretch__________________
____________________________the first hustle____________________
________________________________final friends around_____________
__________________________________to_________________________
______________________________whisk__________________________
_____________________________to______________________________
______________________________yawn__________________________
___________________________twice_____________________________
________________________done________________________________
_____________________right___________________________________
_______________________step__________________________________
_______________ without legitimacy______________________________
____________jack bird journey midsummer_________________________
______________crest foot crown curb______________________________
_________________gray fallen log________________________________
____________________yield_______________________________________

 

[Palba_Noruda]

______________crawl__________________________
______________into_________________________
______________school__________________________
_______________fall_________________________
______________fashions_________________________
_______________might_________________________
______________drum__________________________
_______________minds_________________________
______________wild__________________________
______________trophy__________________________
_______________penant_________________________
______________pedant__________________________
_______________child___________________________
_______________actor___________________________
________________dancer__________________________
________________apparition_______________________
________________peace________________________
_____________ more cluster_____________________
___________soul red bags rope_________________
________ straight never bi more gay______________
______bloodiest wealth bursting building__________
___today homestead criminals sprang studied_______
______letter Scotchman city neighbors _____________
_________weepy Dane stringy back________________
__________water years exile________________
___________idiot step______________
_________right______________​

 

[Palba_Noruda]

everyone heard something more subtle than dreams

_______poem starts ahead
_______________it goes backwards
______________________it reads right to left
________________________________just so you know
____________________________________keep going
_______________________________________please
__________________________________________the poem is called Everyone heard what you said
_______________________________________________________those are the first five words
____________________________________________________and it starts right down
________________________________________________________________here
________________________________________________________remember to read it
__________________________________________________right to left
_________end poem________________________________________poem
___dreams than subtle more something_____________________starts
_____else something want I but__________________________in
__restless you're know I___________________________________five
_________hard it's know I________________________________four
_______________tonight not stay don't____________________three
_____________________________said you_______________two
___________________________________what heard ______1
___________________________________________everyone

 

[butters]

hey hey. this looks like a thread to keep an eye on. I enjoy shape poems so long as the shape lends something to the work while the words remain independent of the shaping for their poetic value.

I find the lines distracting. Is that a part of the formatting that can't be got around as it shows up when you post, or is it intrinsic to the look for you, Pabla?

 

[Palba_Noruda]

hey hey. this looks like a thread to keep an eye on.

Thanks /blushes/
It's going to get kind of weird because this other project is going to require a lot of repetition with subtle changes, but I guess we can worry about that when we get there.

I find the lines distracting. Is that a part of the formatting that can't be got around as it shows up when you post, or is it intrinsic to the look for you, Pabla?

those lines are because I can't figure out how to get plain spaces to hold:

I put five spaces in front of this line.
_____I put five underscores in front of this line.

[CODE]If somebody knows how to make plain spaces hold, please let me know![/CODE]

I know the lines are distracting for readers
I'm being kind of selfish because I kind of like them LOL
I have a bunch of these shape poems in notebooks
so I'm revising them here, the underscores look like
the rules in the notebook
I think it makes the poems look different anyway
and I'm really interested in the visual look of things all of a sudden

 

[butters]

have you tried c&p from notepad?


when I was building pages for my site before, when I used c&p from word pad the formatting would screw up every time in the transitions. I found using notepad got around that, but don't know about here. There's another sort of way around it and that's to use the palest font colour for your underscores so they pale into insignificance *groans*


like so ____________ or the colour closest to the skin being used at the time.

If you like how they look, then stick with them. It's your creation, after all!

 

[Palba_Noruda]

Ugh. I'm back. My computer had a terrible case of keyboard lag. After trying all recommended fixes, it occurred to me to try the solution to all problems with a dell. Remove the battery. It's a power issue, just like when the computer wouldn't go into idle. Weird. Whatever. Couldn't write anything on the computer there for awhile. But I think the problem is solved. For now... Mwa hahahahah!

 

[Palba_Noruda]

Words Found on What Makes a Poem Good Thread

Thanks
This is quick
Please see my my bobbing blink
I'm now sure I would find
myself most as a reflective comedy
not as I am days after
but as I think beyond
the little universal moment
(you always gotta give me moral censure)
You remembered!
HERE
:caning:

 

[Palba_Noruda]

words found basically at the ends of posts on what makes a poem good thread

Example done right
_______________Bad, eh?
Follow the story,
but speak symbolically

Yes, Negative Creep,
We're reading

My inner child agrees
______________It stings

I love meaningless quotes
I love meaningless places

Gotta run into that sorta thing

Rightly now, I expect
you could be brilliant with words

These arses have a good day to remember

IMO, negative emotions joke at a distance
_____________________________at the reader
by underground engagement at Fuzzy Point

 

[Palba_Noruda]

Um, I hope I didn't steal this from somewhere

Downstairs in the
__________dark, that's
______________where the
__________________bad things
_____________________come from
________________________I
____________________went
_________________down
______________there
_______________one
______________time
_____________without turning
______________on the light
______________and it was
____________absolutely black
___________I put my arm in;
____________the blackness
_____________swallowed it
____________I turned to go
______________upstairs, but couldn't
________________I couldn't move my arm
_________________I couldn't look away
___________________away from the
_____________________darkness

 

[Palba_Noruda]

Bee Hive

Downstairs in the
__________dark, that's
______________where the
__________________bad things
_____________________come from
________________________I x
____________________went xxxxx
_________________down xxxxxxxxxx
______________there xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
_______________one xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
______________time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
_____________without turning xxxxxxxxxxx
______________on the light xxxxxxxxxxxx
______________and it was xxxxxxxxxxxx
____________absolutely black xxxxxxxxxxx
___________I put my arm in; xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
____________the blackness xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
_____________swallowed it xxxxxxxxxxxxx
____________I turned to go xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
______________upstairs, but couldn't xxxxx
________________I couldn't move my arm
_________________I couldn't look away
___________________away from the
_____________________darkness

 

[Palba_Noruda]

____________Transexual shoe clerks
___________________have wet dreams
_____________________about him
________________________because
___________________________his feet
______________________________look
_______________________________so
________________________________beautiful
___________________________________in
____________________________________every
__________________________________pair
________________________________of
____________________________shoes
__________________________he
_______________________puts
_____________________on

 

[Palba_Noruda]

Will you buy Hooker Boot?

________________________Transexual shoe clerks
__________________________have wet dreams
___________________________about him
_____________________________because
______________________________his feet
_______________________________look
________________________________so
_________________________________beautiful
________________________________in every pair
_______________________________pair_____pair
______________________________of__________of
_____________________________shoes_________shoes
____________________________he______________he
___________________________puts________________puts
___________________________on__________________on on on

 

[UnderYourSpell]

We had to do a concrete poem for the Survivor contest I didn't know that was what these shape poems are called till then. There's a 'How to' on here somewheres about making the shapes fix in the right place, I'll have a look or you could try asking Angeline or Tzara who could probably point you in the right direction

 

[Palba_Noruda]

We had to do a concrete poem for the Survivor contest I didn't know that was what these shape poems are called till then. There's a 'How to' on here somewheres about making the shapes fix in the right place, I'll have a look or you could try asking Angeline or Tzara who could probably point you in the right direction

Cool. Thanks for letting me know, UYS. I can look for that thread, too. There are some neat "moving" stop-motion concrete poems on youtube. They are mostly in Portuguese and Spanish I think, if you're interested in looking at them I can send you some links. I am moving (very slowly) toward a stop-motion project. I'm excited about it, but of course finding that it will take more time than previously thought. Anyway, it has already been a fun way to go through old notebooks and use lines and words and images that I wrote long ago but never felt particularly done with.

I've been into "found" poetry for awhile. Found words, etc. "Found" feelings. "Found" characters. Now I believe I am going to try working on some "found" plots in my story writing. Also known as adaptations.

 

[Palba_Noruda]

Found on the Internet

~when i started to develop a critical consciousness in college i found that i couldn't read my formerly favorite science fiction books~

I find this very sad. Goodreads.

 

[wildsweetone]

white dots show up less than white underscores if you want empty space. there is also a particular coding to use for straight space, but i can't remember it offhand.

mind if i say something about the beehive poem?

what would you expect to find downstairs in the dark? i don't think i'd expect to find a beehive. but what you've got there makes me realise you could draw (using the keyboard) an object that one might find downstairs. i don't mean to be ghoulish and will probably have a nightmare because of this, but how about turning it into a skull shape? (you know, body buried in the basement kind of thing) - or treasure...?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Cool. Thanks for letting me know, UYS. I can look for that thread, too. There are some neat "moving" stop-motion concrete poems on youtube. They are mostly in Portuguese and Spanish I think, if you're interested in looking at them I can send you some links. I am moving (very slowly) toward a stop-motion project. I'm excited about it, but of course finding that it will take more time than previously thought. Anyway, it has already been a fun way to go through old notebooks and use lines and words and images that I wrote long ago but never felt particularly done with.

I've been into "found" poetry for awhile. Found words, etc. "Found" feelings. "Found" characters. Now I believe I am going to try working on some "found" plots in my story writing. Also known as adaptations.

Thats sounds fun can you put the links in here?

 

[butters]

Downstairs in the
__________dark, that's
______________where the
__________________bad things
_____________________come from
________________________I x
____________________went xxxxx
_________________down xxxxxxxxxx
______________there xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
_______________one xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
______________time xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx
_____________without turning xxxxxxxxxxx
______________on the light xxxxxxxxxxxx
______________and it was xxxxxxxxxxxx
____________absolutely black xxxxxxxxxxx
___________I put my arm in; xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
____________the blackness xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
_____________swallowed it xxxxxxxxxxxxx
____________I turned to go xxxxxxxxxxxxxx
______________upstairs, but couldn't xxxxx
________________I couldn't move my arm
_________________I couldn't look away
___________________away from the
_____________________darkness

____________Transexual shoe clerks
___________________have wet dreams
_____________________about him
________________________because
___________________________his feet
______________________________look
_______________________________so
________________________________beautiful
___________________________________in
____________________________________every
__________________________________pair
________________________________of
____________________________shoes
__________________________he
_______________________puts
_____________________on

shaping aside, i found the words of both these writes compelling - the first i was there with you, the second was so fresh, original. i enjoyed experiencing both.

 

[Palba_Noruda]

white dots show up less than white underscores if you want empty space. there is also a particular coding to use for straight space, but i can't remember it offhand.

mind if i say something about the beehive poem?

what would you expect to find downstairs in the dark? i don't think i'd expect to find a beehive. but what you've got there makes me realise you could draw (using the keyboard) an object that one might find downstairs. i don't mean to be ghoulish and will probably have a nightmare because of this, but how about turning it into a skull shape? (you know, body buried in the basement kind of thing) - or treasure...?

Hi Wildsweetone, thanks for stopping in. Good tip on the dots
I think you're right about the beehive poem. I guess I was just giving myself something to do. LOL. I thought it just looked like it wanted to be completed before putting the X-es in. Probably I'm trying to be kind of intuitive with this thread and not thinking much about the logic part. Wish me luck.

Thats sounds fun can you put the links in here?

Sure. I'll send them to you in a pm.

shaping aside, i found the words of both these writes compelling - the first i was there with you, the second was so fresh, original. i enjoyed experiencing both.

Thanks, Chipbutty, I appreciate your saying so. All these shaped ones I have in paper journals I did last year. It was always extremely fast and furious writing. I'm messing around with the words somewhat now and I will a lot more I think (I hope). It's funny because I do believe playing around with those shapes in pen and paper led to a different kind of energy for the words, you know? Like I was paying attention to my handwriting and the shapes so the words didn't seem so important LOL. I've been trying to work on revising things lately, like all this pen and paper shit I have around here, so this is as good a place as any to start. And doing the shapes is a little like busy work, which can be very satisfying, like knitting or something

 

[Epmd607]

Shape poems are games for children. They mask an inability to convey adult emotions.

 

[UnderYourSpell]

Shape poems are games for children. They mask an inability to convey adult emotions.

What makes you think that? Just because they are in some particular shape doesn't make the content any less readable