Real odd descriptors of sex scenes.

[Xelebes]

More of a prompt thread but here we go. Which words sound really odd when used to describe a sex scene?

I'll start:

populating

 

[Liar]

acetone

 

[Edward Teach]

acetone

A toned ass is sexy, Liar.

 

[Xelebes]

A toned ass is sexy, Liar.

I think you might have a point. I think. I'm not sure.

 

[Liar]

A toned ass is sexy, Liar.

If you use acetone to get there, not as much.

 

[Handley_Page]

If you use acetone to get there, not as much.

only to clean her nail varnish off.

 

[Liar]

only to clean her nail varnish off.

...from his ass?

 

[ExoMani]

engender

 

[JamesSD]

hyperbolic

 

[Tio_Narratore]

"Their coupling bordered on the zoological..."

 

[mynameisben]

"I knew I excited her lexicographically, but I couldn't care less. She begged me to seduce her with my words. I told her point blank that I held her request with floccinaucinihilipilification. She swooned."

 

[Xelebes]

The white ink touched the pink rose and such created an anaphylactic rejoice, that like hives, caused her skin to catch aflame and stir an irritating itch for more.

 

[driphoney]

The white ink touched the pink rose and such created an anaphylactic rejoice, that like hives, caused her skin to catch aflame and stir an irritating itch for more.

lmao!!!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

Her eyes were agape as he displayed his sesquipedalian joystick, and she wondered to herself if she were sufficiently commodius to receive his full imperial measure.

 

[The_Fool]

I think you might have a point. I think. I'm not sure.

Making a point is important in a sex scene unless there are lesbians without dildoes.

 

[Xelebes]

Making a point is important in a sex scene unless there are lesbians without dildoes.

What about fingers? You can't forget about fingers! They point too!

 

[Tio_Narratore]

What about fingers? You can't forget about fingers! They point too!

Only the index fingers; keep the others to yourself.

His hand drifted down her abdomen until he could interdigitate her vestibule...

 

[Xelebes]

The movements, carcinogenic and tumourous, languished on the bed until, like cysts, pockets of juices flowed one into the other.

 

[Tio_Narratore]

He penetrated her from above and commenced driving up and down in a mechanical rhythm as if he were some form of android punch press. Bodily fluids began to seep like lubricating oil from their point of contact.

 

[Xelebes]

The clocks tick, awaiting their chime and wait for the two lone bodies to finish their crime. Slow swinging arms that turn as they wick, watching the two, silent, perform their trick.

 

[Guest]

The clocks tick, awaiting their chime and wait for the two lone bodies to finish their crime. Slow swinging arms that turn as they wick, watching the two, silent, perform their trick.

Very nicely said, that.

~Paul

 

[Xelebes]

Very nicely said, that.

~Paul

It's poetically put but labourious to watch.

 

[Xelebes]

She answered the door and seeing but an impostor stand on the steps, asked for the real one to come in. The impostor laught and walked away, making nary a promise. However as the door closed another fellow who seemt not to be any such impostor stepped forward and excused himself in, that without a teapot for the tempest, unleashed a mess that soppt and soaked the halls and left all doors agape. To conclude, she had the nerve to sigh in joy at it all and thanked for the gift she received.

 

[wonderingwhy]

And the Bad Sex Prize goes to...

The editors of the Literary Review magazine said best-selling American author Jonathan Littell won the prize for describing a sex act as "a jolt that emptied my head like a spoon scraping the inside of a soft-boiled egg."

The offending passage compared female genitalia to various Greek fiends, including the mythical monster Gorgon and "a motionless Cyclops whose single eye never blinks."