words that get on your nerves in erotica

[butters]

there are some words that no matter how great the story/poem is really get on my wick if they appear.


how unsexy is it when the word slurped gets an outing? :gross:

which really rub you up the wrong way?

 

[Epmd607]

there are some words that no matter how great the story/poem is really get on my wick if they appear.


how unsexy is it when the word slurped gets an outing? :gross:

which really rub you up the wrong way?

An adult calling another adult 'Baby' 'Honey' 'Sugar' is super lame in fiction and poetry. In real life it should be kept behind closed doors, maybe even whispered behind closed doors, if it has to occur.

 

[greenmountaineer]

Words that get on your nerves

Pandora taught me not to "bare my soul" when she once reviewed one of my poems, and I've been modest in my appearance ever since.

 

[butters]

An adult calling another adult 'Baby' 'Honey' 'Sugar' is super lame in fiction and poetry. In real life it should be kept behind closed doors, maybe even whispered behind closed doors, if it has to occur.

bites velvet! horrible, even in real life. mind you, we have to allow americans some scope here if those words are normal for them

Pandora taught me not to "bare my soul" when she once reviewed one of my poems, and I've been modest in my appearance ever since.

hahahaha

intertwined always has me wincing

 

[champagne1982]

Most lazy tell words are a source of squirms and fidgets. If the poet (or the story-teller) can't find words to make me share the experience described in the piece then what makes the author think I should read on?

That's all, otherwise, any word is fair game.

 

[emma_tate]

I have a few, but the ones that really get me back clicking are such as these-

splayed

sepia

any word abbreviated, except, of course, Mr., Mrs. Dr., Esq, and the like, but poets who rely on adverbs to prop up his or her poems causes me to want to write a note explaining why action words, true verbs, make good poetry better.

After a second rejection from the New Yorker, I decided to explore, rather analyze what they chose to publish. The poems that were chosen seemed to always be filled with action rather than passive story telling.

Of course, the "usual" words used in the "erotic" poetry on this site caused me to realize that very few people actually understand the difference between poetry and pornography. Granted, some people enjoy the poetry of such poets as lawrubber, Ramona, the annals of Lit are filled with them. Seventhsonoferos, Uncle Pervey.

Their brand of "erotica" is well received by many on this site and it is often difficult to weed them out and find poets such as the long absent Flyguy, jthserra, Cordelia, Angeline, WE and others whom I have enjoyed so much over the years but who seldom grace the pages of Lit as of late. Champ, the Fool, Steve Porter and Lauren Hynde are some others who can kick out erotica at its best.

It would be so nice to see poets throw themselves into their work, allow what flows be the real poetry of their day and melt some hearts as well as heat up the loins. Give in to the urge to say that forbidden thing in a new, refreshing way, to utter that phrase that makes her want to strip naked and fuck your brains out, just without the usual- cock, pussy, suck, fuck, ass, cunt, cum, ( I hate that spelling of that word!!! So many of the story writers have such limited vocabularies I can barely make it through the average story, even an H story, without back clicking.

There are many words that irritate me, but there seems to be little excuse for bad poetry lately except lack of effort.... on my part as well. I know this community, for going on 8 years now and I know that there are Pushcart nominees, numerous award winners, many, many Lit poets have been published in respected anthologies and journals. This is a good place to learn if you are willing to work hard and accept honest critique in the spirit it is given...as a GOOD thing.

I wish you all a blessed eve and day tomorrow, look up! it's good for your posture, and your imagination.

E-T



i done went and rattled on enough. sweet dreams, y'all

 

[Epmd607]

Granted, some people enjoy the poetry of such poets as lawrubber, Ramona, the annals of Lit are filled with them. Seventhsonoferos, Uncle Pervey.

I don't think anyone but lawrobber, ramona, and uncle pervey enjoy the poems of lawrobbur, Ramona, and Uncle Pervylicious.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

I really hate lists of poets who are so good when I'm not on the list. That pisses me right the fuck off.

Ok. Seriously. Aside from birdsong and stirring, I can think of many combinations of words i find off-putting but not so much individual words. Mostly any word on its own is innocent. Viable. But word pairings or contexts that reinforce staid imagery or cliches put me off. Anyone speaking of their heart or a poet's soul or time usually does it. Yes. Very sentimental poems make me want to shoot myself or others.

If I could be DeepAsleep when I grew up, poetically, I'd like that. I really appreciate the lack of sentiment in his writing and the fact that it is, nonetheless, quite emotional writing. I also usually dislike poetry that has as its sole goal the elevation of an individual or the deflation of an individual. If it can be boiled down to X is really fantastic or X is really shitty, then usually I end the poem thinking, So the fuck what?

Two words I really like today: the fuck.

 

[PandoraGlitters]

Pandora taught me not to "bare my soul" when she once reviewed one of my poems, and I've been modest in my appearance ever since.

I am trying to figure out if you mean you've been keeping skivvies on your soul or if you haven't been gracing us in the forums? I hope it is the former rather than the latter.

 

[butters]

... Yes. Very sentimental poems make me want to shoot myself or others.

...

Two words I really like today: the fuck.

Soooo tempted to write one to see how far I can push it

what? the fuck ;P

 

[butters]

I have a few, but the ones that really get me back clicking are such as these-

splayed

sepia

...

ewwwww

 

[hmmnmm]

There is also the 1st time and the 25th time. So it'd be more like an overused word getting on my nerves, for which I figure is my problem and impatience; but I can also give thanks because it reminds me to try and work a little instead of reaching for the familiar because I am as or more guilty than anyone. But for a few whose appeal seemed to fizzle quicker than others: arches, grazes, and names of ancient deities.

 

[butters]

There is also the 1st time and the 25th time. So it'd be more like an overused word getting on my nerves, for which I figure is my problem and impatience; but I can also give thanks because it reminds me to try and work a little instead of reaching for the familiar because I am as or more guilty than anyone. But for a few whose appeal seemed to fizzle quicker than others: arches, grazes, and names of ancient deities.

read much erotica with names of ancient deities in ?

I obviously need to read around more

but your point in overuse is well taken, hmmnmm. clichés were once pretty original phrases that struck the right note with many. the literary kiss of death.

 

[hmmnmm]

read much erotica with names of ancient deities in ?

I obviously need to read around more

but your point in overuse is well taken, hmmnmm. clichés were once pretty original phrases that struck the right note with many. the literary kiss of death.

which would probably be one of the many benefits of reading (which I also do not do near enough... so guilty of so much; just throw the noose down and...), being aware so to better choose whether to take the highway or the deer trail. Or somethin.

 

[bflagsst]

I only like writing and reading sappy and sentimental poems. I don't like poems that go out of their way to stand in they way of the meaning of the poet. The clearer the message the better, still have to make it seem fresh and sexy though.

Words that are turds: religion, politics, gynecologist

 

[butters]

which would probably be one of the many benefits of reading (which I also do not do near enough... so guilty of so much; just throw the noose down and...), being aware so to better choose whether to take the highway or the deer trail. Or somethin.

Catholic upbringing?

I only like writing and reading sappy and sentimental poems. I don't like poems that go out of their way to stand in they way of the meaning of the poet. The clearer the message the better, still have to make it seem fresh and sexy though.

Words that are turds: religion, politics, gynecologist

constipation's a bitch *nods*

 

[champagne1982]

LOL. Remember when the poop words were "rainbows," "unicorns," and "roses"? I wrote a poem:

The Ugly Side Of Fairytales

Out in the misty boggy bottom land
there waits a sweet virgin with proffered hand
to stroke the horn of the beauteous beast
as he drools over the freshly laid feast

He stands strong and straight. His great head held high
in shadows dark beneath a grey lit sky,
with rude comment he turns on his sharp heel
and loudly critiques his previous meal

the flatulent spew of this horse's ass
leaves the maid green from the sulphuric gas
he lets rip through the dawn and birdie song.
Then he air wipes the snot dangling down long

and gelatinous from his Roman nose.
With patrician disdain he sniffs at the rose
bushes that litter this quiet clearing
and snorts at the maid who recoils, fearing

his unrestrained passing of body waste.
Much to her dismay, in spite of her haste
the ill-mannered stud lets go a hot stream
that lands on her lace hem to stink and steam.

With loud guffaws at her righteous disgust
he belches as he drops his foul shit just
in front of her toes. She squealed as she ran
to the side of the pond where she began

laughing hysterically at this odd day,
her precious innocence out on display
to entice this boor into the strong net
of her father who she hopes will now get

a fabulous price for the mystical horn
that grows out of the head of the unicorn.
Maybe tomorrow she'll pick him a rose
as he lays dying 'neath brilliant rainbows.

 

[hmmnmm]

Catholic upbringing?

Uh, no.
Just fucked up.

 

[butters]

*titters*

best fairytale poem evva, champers, and you are excused your subordinate use of rainbows for that superb opening phrase misty boggy bottom lands

I see Rowan Atkinson speaking it as Blackadder!

 

[butters]

Uh, no.
Just fucked up.

in that case I'm sure you're in good company here

 

[hmmnmm]

in that case I'm sure you're in good company here

apparently

 

[Angeline]

I only like writing and reading sappy and sentimental poems. I don't like poems that go out of their way to stand in they way of the meaning of the poet. The clearer the message the better, still have to make it seem fresh and sexy though.

Words that are turds: religion, politics, gynecologist

I agree with most of what I read here (and Pandora, you're on my list, so there), but bflags' choices really resonated for me. They are all words too far removed from any real action, and there are better words in each case to convey the concept of each with more life and immediacy. "Religion" is an almost anestethized (sp?) way of conveying what can be otherwise passionate or moving or even erotic, and the same for politics. And gynecologist is a turd of a semantic choice unless you (or your readers) have a fetish.

 

[Epmd607]

LOL. Remember when the poop words were "rainbows," "unicorns," and "roses"? I wrote a poem:

The Ugly Side Of Fairytales

Out in the misty boggy bottom land
there waits a sweet virgin with proffered hand
to stroke the horn of the beauteous beast
as he drools over the freshly laid feast

He stands strong and straight. His great head held high
in shadows dark beneath a grey lit sky,
with rude comment he turns on his sharp heel
and loudly critiques his previous meal

the flatulent spew of this horse's ass
leaves the maid green from the sulphuric gas
he lets rip through the dawn and birdie song.
Then he air wipes the snot dangling down long

and gelatinous from his Roman nose.
With patrician disdain he sniffs at the rose
bushes that litter this quiet clearing
and snorts at the maid who recoils, fearing

his unrestrained passing of body waste.
Much to her dismay, in spite of her haste
the ill-mannered stud lets go a hot stream
that lands on her lace hem to stink and steam.

With loud guffaws at her righteous disgust
he belches as he drops his foul shit just
in front of her toes. She squealed as she ran
to the side of the pond where she began

laughing hysterically at this odd day,
her precious innocence out on display
to entice this boor into the strong net
of her father who she hopes will now get

a fabulous price for the mystical horn
that grows out of the head of the unicorn.
Maybe tomorrow she'll pick him a rose
as he lays dying 'neath brilliant rainbows.

Wow, this is like a 'clean version' of one of Taunus' everyday poems.

 

[butters]

gushing


can't abide reading how someone's juices gush all over the place

 

[hmmnmm]

We watched a movie the other night: Elegy. It started out interesting enough: old guy likes to bang college chicks. His mind still youthful at odds with his actual earthly years. Something like that. Oh and Dennis Hopper was the poet whose every line was a most deep observation profoundly spoken. The first few? Yeah, interesting. Good. The first lesson on art? Yeah. Good. The first few classically melodious piano phrases? Yeah. Good. But the fifteenth? Okay that's enough. Stop. Throw in an AC/DC or Iron Maiden song. Please. Then I can handle another forty-five minutes of poetic depth.

So... one arched back? Okay. Twenty arched backs in twenty-five poems or stories? Hm. I'm ready for a gusher. Twenty gushers? Hm. Now I'll take an arch. Just one.

Omg! It's The Gushing Arches!