BBW self image question

[kentm]

I am a BBW lover, theres nothing I love more than a new thread where a beauty reveals herself to us all to admire and love. Naturally, in real life the women I'm attracted to are all on the bigger side, some of who I have had the hardest time convincing that I love their bodies, absolutely love them. I understand that weight issues are terribly difficult to deal with, near impossible for some. I have been seeing one such beautiful woman for awhile and I am constantly telling her, and showing her, just how much I love her body, I love touching and kissing and everything about her, all sounds good right? I have the hardest time convincing her that I am being totally honest when I say that, I tell her how sexy she looks I get back, "Whatever, no I'm not!" or something along those lines. Is this common? I've never had such a hard time just being honest, lol. I wish she would come on here and see just how many BBW are out there that are confident and beautiful and so heart breakingly sexy and the amount of admirers and lovers of BBW there are out there. I guess I'm just wondering any of the BBW here had similar experiences and how they have come to change the belief that they are not extremely sexy women who should be proud of their sexuality and the effect they have on all of the many BBW lovers in the world

 

[jeffy72]

All of my real world lovers have ranged from "a few extra pounds" to " well over weight." It's not their bodies I was originally attracted to, it was their minds and attitudes. "Sexy" is almost all attitude and any body type can be sexy. I find beauty in every woman, and help my lovers' self confidence by using things they can't dispute, like the beauty of their eyes, the attractiveness of their smile, pleasure I gain from their breasts, etc...
One woman has taken a long time to allow me to see her fully naked, and still self-consciously covers her self up whenever there is a piece of clothing near-by, but continuous encouragement has gotten her to reveal more and more, more comfortably. When I massage her, I treat her abdomen as lovingly as I treat her breasts, kissing her tummy yummily and occasionally pointing out things such as how many fertile-goddess statue pictures I see online.
Loving persistence will win out over insecurities.

 

[SassySheDevil]

As a bigger woman, I can understand your gf. I wasn't always bigger. Matter of fact I was on the other end of the spectrum and annorexic for a while. Funny thing was, I hated myself more when I was skinny.

To a woman. Sexy is two things, Inside and out. Sounds simple and something everyone should think, but because we all have individual minds, we all think differently. Women are insecure creatures to begin with but we feed off society. What society thinks is beautiful. What it says is in/out. Even if a man says over and over again how beautiful he thinks we are, if we are not what is considered beautiful we will always overrule his words with our thinking.

I feel like the most beautiful person in the world on the inside and if someone compliments my personality, I'm all over it. I feel it, I believe it, I love it. But cause I don't feel beautiful on the outside (most days) I'll never fully believe his compliments about the outside. I just chalk it up (like your gf) as "he's just being nice"

Sorry I can't offer much advice on how to change it. I've been married 17 years and my husband tells me I'm beautiful and I sadly I still shrug it off.

 

[ima6uldv8]

A lot of my feelings come from real life experiences. In my experiences, men are very superificial. Like Sassy says, if we don't look like what society and the media puts out there, we're not accepted. Some people here have told me my body is beautiful but I just don't feel it. Society is a bitch for us. Makes us feel like outcasts and rejects. But, Lit has done wonders to change that for me. I've got tons of confidence now and am accepting the compliments way better than I would have years ago. But I don't think I'll ever feel beautiful.

 

[funluvinaj]

I am a BBW lover, theres nothing I love more than a new thread where a beauty reveals herself to us all to admire and love. Naturally, in real life the women I'm attracted to are all on the bigger side, some of who I have had the hardest time convincing that I love their bodies, absolutely love them. I understand that weight issues are terribly difficult to deal with, near impossible for some. I have been seeing one such beautiful woman for awhile and I am constantly telling her, and showing her, just how much I love her body, I love touching and kissing and everything about her, all sounds good right? I have the hardest time convincing her that I am being totally honest when I say that, I tell her how sexy she looks I get back, "Whatever, no I'm not!" or something along those lines. Is this common? I've never had such a hard time just being honest, lol. I wish she would come on here and see just how many BBW are out there that are confident and beautiful and so heart breakingly sexy and the amount of admirers and lovers of BBW there are out there. I guess I'm just wondering any of the BBW here had similar experiences and how they have come to change the belief that they are not extremely sexy women who should be proud of their sexuality and the effect they have on all of the many BBW lovers in the world

this is me in a nutshell.... i've come SOOOO far since coming to lit. Just had a major breakthrough yesterday - something Jeff alludes to in the 2nd post... sexy is a state of mind. I've far too long let my body interfere with my acceptance of embracing the sexy woman that I am. I have had 2 men in my life, my husband and my lover, who have made me feel sexy. I started posting pictures at looking for some sort of validation. Through 3 threads and 100's even 1000's of posts... I still could not accept the compliments and even over the top responses I got.... I have gotten close with a handful of guys on lit... they got to know me... the real me.... not just gawking over my body.... and it's finally sinking in... I AM SEXY. I may not be everyone's cup of tea but so what, not everyone is mine either.
If you think it would help in anyway .... have her read this... have her email me ... PM me for my addy. It's a journey.... sometimes painful... but in the end... i am finally at a place to accept my beauty that comes from my inner core and shines out of me. (well except maybe a couple days a month when i'm raging)

 

[Papa_Cali]

that's a beautiful thing, AJ.

 

[WomanofCurves]

I agree with Aj that coming to the boards and talking to other bbws and bbw lovers would do wonders. It has certainly helped me. Also maybe it would help your girlfriend to get into a exercise routine like yoga or you two could take dance lessons. Do things that get her into her body and appreciating it for what it is and working towards what she wants it to be.

 

[Cinner]

I agree with Aj that coming to the boards and talking to other bbws and bbw lovers would do wonders. It has certainly helped me. Also maybe it would help your girlfriend to get into a exercise routine like yoga or you two could take dance lessons. Do things that get her into her body and appreciating it for what it is and working towards what she wants it to be.

I agree.