Confused

[newdirection]

I know I'm not the only one here but boy am I confused. I have always thought that I was the dominant type and got my kicks from role plays and fantasies where I played the dominant partner but recently I have discovered that I have a very submissive side to me. I guess I could be classed as a switch but the submissive side, the willingness to please and be dominated is so strong, it frightens me and intrigues me a great deal.

I have to explore this further and am therefore looking for an online mistress, I am an almost 40 married male living way down under........

I should add that I am not new to this site but I am new to this user name, the old one is no longer appropriate so I am starting afresh.

 

[yourmissl]

....living way down under...

Well that bit certainly seemed.... appealing.

That said, as I'm such a newbie and uncertain myself, it would be a case of the blind leading the blind, no?

Actually, that also has its appeal. Keep searching and enjoy. Trust your heart and your instincts... and don't completely ignore what other, ehem... parts...are... encouraging.

miss l

 

[newdirection]

Blind leading the blind could work, it might help to have someone to bump into things with...thanks for your reply, really appreciate it

 

[newdirection]

Thanks for all the PM's the communication ahs been very helpful and in some ways I am a little less confused than when I started this thread. I do realise that its will take time to find the right person but I do know that once we have found each other I am ready to give myself to that person, well as far as a long distance relationship allows....

 

[newdirection]

Still looking for my mistress.......

 

[newdirection]

Still looking....

 

[newdirection]

A new week and a new determination to find my mistress...

 

[newdirection]

Well since the last post I came close to what I am looking for, close but no cigar...therefore I start my search again.....

 

[StrayKat]

Yeah it can get very confusing.
I am a switch I suppose too, how I act very much depends on person I am with, but too much on my mood as well.
I guess its confusing for my partners too since I *can* turn from purring kitty into a growling tigress for no visible reason in a moment. I really wish I could find someone able to "handle" me but I dont think it will happen on Lit, I am kinda tired of long distance stuff

Good luck in your search anyway

 

[ManofMastery]

What can you say about 'switches'..?

... people who are so non-rooted in their own drives and urges that they can 'flip' on a whim..?

It seems to me the term 'player' might have been invented exactly for the purpose of describing them.

 

[StrayKat]

Only unlike you, we are capable of "playing" on both sides.

 

[petcindy]

I am a switch. BUT only when my master allows it to come out. I have been trained as a slave but wanted more so master trained me to be a femdom with others. I do love to play with females BUT also love a good male slave.

 

[ManofMastery]

Only unlike you, we are capable of "playing" on both sides.

Being something is a world apart from 'capable of playing' at it.

Therein lies a chasm of difference which 'switches', I assume, would scarcely begin to understand.

 

[StrayKat]

Being something is a world apart from 'capable of playing' at it.

Therein lies a chasm of difference which 'switches', I assume, would scarcely begin to understand.

Ah so you are the precious "twue thing" and we poor bastards just "play" is that it?
I assume you are the one that doesnt understand much with that kind of attitude

 

[MisterSir]

Ah so you are the precious "twue thing" and we poor bastards just "play" is that it?
I assume you are the one that doesnt understand much with that kind of attitude

I've been questioning lately why certain people are on my ignore list. Happily, I no longer have to question why our twue dominant fwiend holds pride of place. I thank you.

 

[newdirection]

Being something is a world apart from 'capable of playing' at it.

Therein lies a chasm of difference which 'switches', I assume, would scarcely begin to understand.

Fantastic example of the kind of post that puts people that are just starting out or maybe just exploring a little off posting here on Lit. Please take your patronising statements elsewhere.....everyone else is welcome, thanks for advice and ecouragement....

 

[WishesFor]

As all people except those with severe mental problems have multi-faceted personalities we cannot BE any one thing...we are complicated blends of many, often conflicting impulses. That is what it is to be human. Anyone who is being honest with themself knows they are not 100% Dom or 100% submissive. Maybe they would LIKE to be. Maybe it makes them feel good to think they are. Even if there was such a thing it would be extremely rare. Most people pick a side and run with it because they feel pressured to do so...because they feel they have to or are supposed to. Because they are afraid of being picked on by assholes. Switches don't get enough respect. It takes a brave person to say...hey I'm confused... Or to say...I'm not confused. I enjoy both sides depending on who I am with or my mood at the time. That is so honest and so valid and just REAL. Kudos to the honest people!

Myself, my first love is definitely expressing my submissive side. That pull has been with me since I had my first sexual thoughts. But I also enjoy and sometimes prefer the comforts of a vanilla relationship or interlude. I have expressed my dominant side on occasion but for me my dominant side is much more intellectual than sexual. But I still enjoyed it and so did the male subs involved.

We are what we are. One-dimensional people don't exist and if they did they would be a spectacular BORE.

 

[StrayKat]

As all people except those with severe mental problems have multi-faceted personalities we cannot BE any one thing...we are complicated blends of many, often conflicting impulses. That is what it is to be human. Anyone who is being honest with themself knows they are not 100% Dom or 100% submissive. Maybe they would LIKE to be. Maybe it makes them feel good to think they are. Even if there was such a thing it would be extremely rare. Most people pick a side and run with it because they feel pressured to do so...because they feel they have to or are supposed to. Because they are afraid of being picked on by assholes. Switches don't get enough respect. It takes a brave person to say...hey I'm confused... Or to say...I'm not confused. I enjoy both sides depending on who I am with or my mood at the time. That is so honest and so valid and just REAL. Kudos to the honest people!

Myself, my first love is definitely expressing my submissive side. That pull has been with me since I had my first sexual thoughts. But I also enjoy and sometimes prefer the comforts of a vanilla relationship or interlude. I have expressed my dominant side on occasion but for me my dominant side is much more intellectual than sexual. But I still enjoyed it and so did the male subs involved.

We are what we are. One-dimensional people don't exist and if they did they would be a spectacular BORE.

Now that is one lovely post and very much how I feel as well.
Thank you

 

[newdirection]

As all people except those with severe mental problems have multi-faceted personalities we cannot BE any one thing...we are complicated blends of many, often conflicting impulses. That is what it is to be human. Anyone who is being honest with themself knows they are not 100% Dom or 100% submissive. Maybe they would LIKE to be. Maybe it makes them feel good to think they are. Even if there was such a thing it would be extremely rare. Most people pick a side and run with it because they feel pressured to do so...because they feel they have to or are supposed to. Because they are afraid of being picked on by assholes. Switches don't get enough respect. It takes a brave person to say...hey I'm confused... Or to say...I'm not confused. I enjoy both sides depending on who I am with or my mood at the time. That is so honest and so valid and just REAL. Kudos to the honest people!

Myself, my first love is definitely expressing my submissive side. That pull has been with me since I had my first sexual thoughts. But I also enjoy and sometimes prefer the comforts of a vanilla relationship or interlude. I have expressed my dominant side on occasion but for me my dominant side is much more intellectual than sexual. But I still enjoyed it and so did the male subs involved.

We are what we are. One-dimensional people don't exist and if they did they would be a spectacular BORE.

Fantastic post, heartfelt thanks for your contribution....

 

[cloud_leopard]

Good luck on your search. I am also exploring my switchiness (I don't know if that's a word), and know it can be tough to figure out.

Hope you find the right person to help you.

 

[newdirection]

Good luck on your search. I am also exploring my switchiness (I don't know if that's a word), and know it can be tough to figure out.

Hope you find the right person to help you.

Thanks for your encouragement, switchiness should be a word, so if it wasn't before it certainly is now...