Milestones/Millstones and Battle Scars

[radepor]

I've reached one of those unpleasant milestones, a birthday with a (0) as the second digit and a first digit much larger than I'd like.

Just wondering how the BDSM community regards the results of years of use and abuse. For example:

1) Scars from earlobe, nipple, naval, genital piercings; scars from whips; urethral scarring from sounding; permanently enlarged vagina/anus etc

2) Were they the result of the (S) or (M) in BDSM?

3) Are they badges of honor or scars of shame?

 

[CutieMouse]

Just wondering how the BDSM community regards the results of years of use and abuse. For example:

1) Scars from earlobe, nipple, naval, genital piercings; scars from whips; urethral scarring from sounding; permanently enlarged vagina/anus etc

The same way I do a scrape/scar on my knee from falling off the jungle gym at 8, closed ear piercings from a nickle allergy, or stretch marks from giving birth a million times... the odds of a "permanently enlarged" vagina/anus are so slim I won't even touch that one.

2) Were they the result of the (S) or (M) in BDSM?

Our bodies change as we experience life, regardless of kink. I'm struggling to see why BDSM "battle scars" or not matters?

3) Are they badges of honor or scars of shame?

Neither [for me].

 

[Bandit58]

I don't have any scars from BDSM play....the closest I guess would be a scar from a belly ring which migrated out about three years ago.

I've given birth to two children and have the little belly pot and some stretch marks to show for that, plus a scar on my thigh near my knee from a slash from a running shoe sprig when I was trying to do the high jump at 14....

We're not into extreme S/M so any marks/scars won't be happening.

 

[radepor]

The odds of permanent enlargement

The odds are larger than you think.

However, perhaps my phraseology was imprecise. Personally, I think enlargement is correct but perhaps weakening of certain muscles is an equally or even more precise description.

Whichever is the more correct, I'm greatly interested in the BDSM community's insight.

The same way I do a scrape/scar on my knee from falling off the jungle gym at 8, closed ear piercings from a nickle allergy, or stretch marks from giving birth a million times... the odds of a "permanently enlarged" vagina/anus are so slim I won't even touch that one.



Our bodies change as we experience life, regardless of kink. I'm struggling to see why BDSM "battle scars" or not matters?



Neither [for me].

 

[OldGuy1026]

Battle Scars

Closest I have to a battle scare is where I had my biopsey for cancer. A very Humiliating moment.

You see I had lumps in my neck, my arm-pit, and groin. So the doctor wants to cut me open and take out one of the lumps.

The neck I asked, a nice manly scar?
No
The armpit, not too bad.
No
Oh no! Okay.

So there I am at the hospital. Then the Surgeon tells me it's a Teaching Hospital, in file twenty nursing students, just out of high school drop dead cute girls. I was dieing of humiliation as my genitals were shaved and I was given a local. I pulled the sheet over my head and just wanted to die with the doctor giving jokes the giggles. I'd rather be on display to a room full of,..... well you folks. At least you understand.

That was twenty years ago and I've been cancer free for 12 years!

 

[radepor]

Eureka!

I never intended to uncover the cure for cancer but I'll take credit.

Simply need to embarrass the patient until the embarrassment hormones kill the cancer cells. With males, simply need young girls; wonder how to induce appropriate hormones in females. Er, I'm probably being insensitive; sorry.

Back on point; I was actually looking for "mature" BDSM'ers with BDSM "scars".

Closest I have to a battle scare is where I had my biopsey for cancer. A very Humiliating moment.

You see I had lumps in my neck, my arm-pit, and groin. So the doctor wants to cut me open and take out one of the lumps.

The neck I asked, a nice manly scar?
No
The armpit, not too bad.
No
Oh no! Okay.

So there I am at the hospital. Then the Surgeon tells me it's a Teaching Hospital, in file twenty nursing students, just out of high school drop dead cute girls. I was dieing of humiliation as my genitals were shaved and I was given a local. I pulled the sheet over my head and just wanted to die with the doctor giving jokes the giggles. I'd rather be on display to a room full of,..... well you folks. At least you understand.

That was twenty years ago and I've been cancer free for 12 years!

 

[HottieMama]

1) Scars from earlobe, nipple, naval, genital piercings; scars from whips; urethral scarring from sounding; permanently enlarged vagina/anus etc

I have some scars from cuttings that have not completely faded. I will also be permanently "scarred" in the near future with a strike brand.

2) Were they the result of the (S) or (M) in BDSM?

I am a masochist. The branding is a result of neither and will be a result of my relationship and his desires.

3) Are they badges of honor or scars of shame?

Neither...they just exist....Much like my many tattoos that all have meaning but I don't really think about it too much.

 

[CutieMouse]

The odds are larger than you think.

However, perhaps my phraseology was imprecise. Personally, I think enlargement is correct but perhaps weakening of certain muscles is an equally or even more precise description.

Whichever is the more correct, I'm greatly interested in the BDSM community's insight.

I should have specified - my issue with your "permanent enlargement" statement was regarding the idea that a woman's vagina could commonly be at risk of "permanent enlargement" due to BDSM activities.

 

[unregistered]

 

[Evil_Geoff]

I view scars and tattoos the way I view people.

It all depends. Some are cool, some are gross, some I like, some I don't, some are scary, some are just, kinda... there. Meh!

They are marks. Memorials and reminders of things that happened along the way. Any shame or pride the mark carries is in the memory of the one who has them, not the one viewing them.

 

[Etoile]

Back on point; I was actually looking for "mature" BDSM'ers with BDSM "scars".

You know, I'm not sure many of us have had a life like yours. You might have a hard time finding people who have similar experiences to yours to give you feedback.

 

[00Syd]

I have some minor marks from some rougher play, but have only been "practicing" BDSM for a year and a half now. So... I guess I'm an immature player with BDSM scars?

Whatever.

I don't like the particular ones that I have because they were caused by someone that I'm no longer on the best terms with. My dislike for those particular scars is based soley on the specific situation in which they were obtained, and I'm sure that my like/dislike/indiference towards all of my possible future scars will also completely depend upon the specific situation in which they were obtained.

 

[Ravenwind]

Other than a tattoo which I wear proudly in place of a wedding ring, the scar/stretch marks from the kids, and my piercings, I haven't gotten anything worse than the occasional near-bruise from impaling myself onto a oncoming elbow or knee while reaching for the cigarettes, or the imprint of the wall texture on my face. We don't do 'lasting marks', as I bruise, cut, burn, etc. very easily... pft, the scars from a bug bite will last upwards of 6 months or more on me... other than piercings and tats, I wouldn't want anything permanent like that.

As for enlarging... I have one word: Kegel's.

 

[SimonBrooke]

Hell, my left leg is scarred at ankle, knee and groin from the removal of a damaged vein; my right groin is scarred from an operation; one hand is scarred from a bike crash, the other from a knife wound; two of my vertebrae are crushed from different crashes (car, bicycle); my right arm is crooked from yet another crash (motorcycle). I'm sure there's more, but it isn't important.

I'm basically patchwork. BDSM scars? None (mind you, I'm a 'giver', not a 'getter'). But in the totality of life, BDSM is a minor cause of scarring.

 

[Etoile]

BTW what on earth do millstones have to do with anything?

 

[OldGuy1026]

BTW what on earth do millstones have to do with anything?

I think it's those rocks along the road you stub your toe on.

 

[Etoile]

I think it's those rocks along the road you stub your toe on.

Nope, millstones are used in water mills and wind mills for grinding things. The wind or water provides the power that rotates the millstone and grinds the grain (or whatever).

 

[radepor]

Ouch

You may or may not have intended it, but I never quite felt like a freak...

Millstones? around the neck? The scars are a constant reminder of the freakishness that undoubtedly was always there but subconscious

You know, I'm not sure many of us have had a life like yours. You might have a hard time finding people who have similar experiences to yours to give you feedback.

 

[Etoile]

You may or may not have intended it, but I never quite felt like a freak...

Millstones? around the neck? The scars are a constant reminder of the freakishness that undoubtedly was always there but subconscious

I'm sorry you felt offended by it, that was not my intention. Quite simply, from the stories you have told here over time, you have some unusual stories. You're looking for people similar to you (in age, at least) to share their experiences that you hope will be similar to yours. I just don't think there are many people who have had experiences like yours. Honestly, I think you would find people VERY similar to you on BME. There are lots of kinky groups in the community there, called IAM. I have seen people there who do exactly the same sort of stuff you do, and have the battle scars to go with it. I just don't think there are many people like that here. And it wasn't a judgment call, either - I think your stories are just as interesting as anyone else's - just a simple statement of fact, I don't think you will find people on here with similar experiences to yours.

That's a use of millstones I wasn't familiar with, thanks for clarifying.

 

[radepor]

Never be sorry for the truth

Not offended in the least; I value your opinion

I'm sorry you felt offended by it, that was not my intention. Quite simply, from the stories you have told here over time, you have some unusual stories. You're looking for people similar to you (in age, at least) to share their experiences that you hope will be similar to yours. I just don't think there are many people who have had experiences like yours. Honestly, I think you would find people VERY similar to you on BME. There are lots of kinky groups in the community there, called IAM. I have seen people there who do exactly the same sort of stuff you do, and have the battle scars to go with it. I just don't think there are many people like that here. And it wasn't a judgment call, either - I think your stories are just as interesting as anyone else's - just a simple statement of fact, I don't think you will find people on here with similar experiences to yours.

That's a use of millstones I wasn't familiar with, thanks for clarifying.

 

[Aquila1]

That's a use of millstones I wasn't familiar with, thanks for clarifying.

Largely biblical in origin - a method of getting rid of someone. I guess also a way of referring to a burden.

"But whoso shall offend one of these little ones which believe in me, it were better for him that a millstone were hanged about his neck, and that he were drowned in the depth of the sea"

Also considered a dandy method of doing away with witches in 16th C Europe.