I think most women are basically sluts.

[Lizzie_Borden]

I know, for me personally, it's very, very easy to get me going if you press my buttons right. Amongst those buttons is a visible (and audible.. yum!) appreciation and desire for me.

In fact, I'll often find myself responding, even before I realise I am.

 

[Harmony_1985]

I'm not horny all the time. Actually its very rare my periods of horniness last longer than a couple of days and they usually come every 4 - 6 weeks.

Damned hormones.

 

[StrayKat]

Ok maybe bad wording on my part.

I'm not talking about maturity here, more appetite and capacity.

Most men are at their horniest, and most capable of arousal in their 20s, and most women in their 40s.

and please on the life experience crap. I know 40 year olds that talk like 13 year old boys that just found their penis.

Check out the wondrous dating advice I got. "Just talk to any girl, doesn't matter what she looks like, when the lights are off you can't see her anyway."

Or this other genius who asked why I don't use my battle scars for pity with the girls.

I think your romanticizing the situation.

I think you are generalizing a bit.

If we were all just blind sexual organs looking for relief, your theory about 20 yo male with 40 yo female match might be correct. But there is so much more to sex.
Very young men make me go "awww" or "ewww", I cant relate to them. Maybe its my upbringing, society I lived in most of my life, but I simply cannot get horny around boy that could be my son.

I am talking generally now - I personally know 25 year old who is such intelligent, kinky, lovable creature that makes me very much feel "wish I was younger".

Most younger men I know are just not my match, they have no clue about my feelings or moods, they cant grasp what goes through my head. We have very little in common to talk about. The way they talk and act doesnt arouse me, it provokes my motherly feelings. They can be awfully vulnerable and naive and transparent in their feelings. They are just young in every way and I do not find that sexually attractive.

Some of us are simply wired that way, it doesnt make us wrong or right just different.

 

[rida]

Ok maybe bad wording on my part.

I'm not talking about maturity here, more appetite and capacity.

Most men are at their horniest, and most capable of arousal in their 20s, and most women in their 40s.

and please on the life experience crap. I know 40 year olds that talk like 13 year old boys that just found their penis.

Check out the wondrous dating advice I got. "Just talk to any girl, doesn't matter what she looks like, when the lights are off you can't see her anyway."

Or this other genius who asked why I don't use my battle scars for pity with the girls.

I think your romanticizing the situation.

Yes indeed. The 20something sweet French Knight ... used to send me home totally exhausted

And I also agree that not all guys in their 20s are immature and it is no guarantee that they will be mature if in their 40s or 50s.

I have no problem with immature guys in their 20s, but chances are that I do not find them attractive, and they do not find me interesting either.

Immature in their 40s or 50s thou, they have no redeeming qualities.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I see promiscuity and slutiness as two different things, the only thing in common being is that sexual activity is required. Sluttiness is more of a mentality issue. The person doesn't so much want to sleep around as the want of desirableness. IE: "If I have all this attention from the opposite sex, I'm therefore desirable, ergo, I'm hotter than you". Promiscuity is more of a mindset where one thinks, "I really don't care how many different people want me, I want what I want. If I get it, great." The problem with both of these is that we live in a ridiculously puritanical society that's at odds with the media. One is taught from a young age that to be sexual/sexualized is a 'bad' thing, but in the same breath, we're inundated from all sides with the message that sex sells. Everyone, but especially girls in the 16-25 range winds up with a severely mixed message. So, in one breath a girl is being told to be a 'good girl,' and in the other, she's being told that to sell herself, (be popular, be pretty, etc.), there needs to be a sexualization. I certainly can't think of a great number of girl in that age range, who suffer from self-esteem issues, that would have the mentality on all levels to be able to deal with that. At least not without becoming what is catagorically known as "slut."

and how would you refer to a girl/woman who had multiple casual sex partners (the def. of promiscuous) and who was indiscriminate about those partners (both being the def. of slut), but not out of any particular need to be desired by others OR any particular physical desire for sex??

 

[StrayKat]

and how would you refer to a girl/woman who had multiple casual sex partners (the def. of promiscuous) and who was indiscriminate about those partners (both being the def. of slut), but not out of any particular need to be desired by others OR any particular physical desire for sex??

We are all so much different people and we do things out of different "needs", even if we seem to be alike now and then.
I think there is no way you can completely define anyone unless you invent new word for every single person separately.

Some people dont seem to be happy unless they can put everyone in little box and stick the label on it though.

 

[graceanne]

Some people dont seem to be happy unless they can put everyone in little box and stick the label on it though.

In other words 'slut' is another one of the darn labels (like sub, slave, etc) and has it's own meaning for each person.

 

[ownedsubgal]

We are all so much different people and we do things out of different "needs", even if we seem to be alike now and then.
I think there is no way you can completely define anyone unless you invent new word for every single person separately.

Some people dont seem to be happy unless they can put everyone in little box and stick the label on it though.

i am not one of those people, however i am also not one of those people who believe that words can be defined any which way to suit someone's particular whims, or else the entire concept of language is pointless.

it is not about "completely defining" anyone, it is about there being a clear and consistent idea of language. the reality is that the meaning of the word "slut" has nothing to do with having any particular needs or desires. it simply refers to promiscuity and being indiscriminate about one's sexual partners. the motivations behind such behaviors are completely irrelevant to the definition of slut.

if i refer to a shade of paint as being "green," then one can safely assume a few things...that i am referring to a color, that this color is some mixture of the primary colors blue and yellow, etc. it is really not so very complicated, to simply accept that there are some very general (however vague) and universally understood definitions behind words. i think that this above all else is my lifestyle/online communication pet peeve of the century.

 

[StrayKat]

In other words 'slut' is another one of the darn labels (like sub, slave, etc) and has it's own meaning for each person.

I know it does have its own meaning for me. It depends on who is saying it and how I feel at the moment. It can be insult or pet name, and everything in between.

Yes, there is general meaning of the word and for that everyone can look in dictionary.
I still believe there is very personal meaning for each and every one of us. Some words are like that, "green" for example is not one of them for me. When I hear "green" it doesnt do anything for me until I get some more explanation.
When I hear "slut" it does evoke certain feelings, sometimes very strong and sudden, depending on person, place, tone of voice.

What I mostly think about "slut" is that it is one of those words people tend to use to label someone in a most negative way.

 

[Gilroygal69]

Ok maybe bad wording on my part.

I'm not talking about maturity here, more appetite and capacity.

Most men are at their horniest, and most capable of arousal in their 20s, and most women in their 40s.

Maybe so, but you're assuming that sex is a purely sexual endeavor. It isn't. Sex and attraction are about far more than just insert tab A into slot B...at least for women. Which is probably why fewer older women are interested in hooking up with younger men, but older men have no problem hooking up with younger women.

and please on the life experience crap. I know 40 year olds that talk like 13 year old boys that just found their penis.

Check out the wondrous dating advice I got. "Just talk to any girl, doesn't matter what she looks like, when the lights are off you can't see her anyway."

Or this other genius who asked why I don't use my battle scars for pity with the girls.

I think your romanticizing the situation.

Certainly there are 40 year old men who act like adolescent boys. (my husband's closest friend is a prime example of that.) Frankly, I don't think men grow up unless they are forced to. A man who marries and become a father is forced by his partner and his life circumstances to become a mature, responsible person. The focus moves from his own interests to that of his family, his child, his wife. He learns to put others first, he learns to live outside himself.

Some men who don't marry arrive at that through the natural evolution of self that comes with age and experience. Some men who marry remain self involved putzes.

But in general, middle aged men are less selfish, more mature, and infinitely more suited to the dynamics of an exclusive relationship than a 20 year old boy. And because they have lived longer and had more life defining experiences, they are simply more interesting and relatable.

A twenty year old has lived half the time that a 40 year old has. Sure, there are 20 year old boys that are more mature than others. But that doesn't really matter. I would have absolutely nothing to discuss with a twenty year old who has never travelled outside the country, never had a long term relationship, never lived on his own, never parented a child, never wondered how in the hell he was going to pay the mortgage AND afford braces....the list goes on.

That's not romanticism, that's pragmatism.

 

[Gilroygal69]

The way they talk and act doesnt arouse me, it provokes my motherly feelings. They can be awfully vulnerable and naive and transparent in their feelings. They are just young in every way and I do not find that sexually attractive.

EXACTLY. That's a great way to describe it. It's very hard to be sexually attracted to someone when they arouse maternal feelings. I have a teenaged son. He is very large for his age and is often taken for older. I see adult women looking at him. It just gobsmacks me. Because to me, he is a little boy. And because 20 is not a whole lot older either chronologically or emotionally than he is, it's very hard for me to see someone that age as anything but a little boy as well. They look the same, they act the same. In my mind, they are the same.

 

[neci]

i found this definition on a quote board one day...

slut: a woman who thinks about sex as much as the average man

 

[graceanne]

if i refer to a shade of paint as being "green," then one can safely assume a few things...that i am referring to a color, that this color is some mixture of the primary colors blue and yellow, etc. it is really not so very complicated, to simply accept that there are some very general (however vague) and universally understood definitions behind words. i think that this above all else is my lifestyle/online communication pet peeve of the century.

Yes, but you won't know what shade of green it is. If you call someone a slut, you can safely guarantee that the person is referring to something that person does sexually, but not what. My grandmother thinks that anyone who's had sex outside of marriage is a slut. My mother things that anyone who's been promiscuous is a slut, and I used to agree. Hanging out on here has changed my POV to where I feel that slut is a derogatory term used towards women who have sex (or as stated by neci, someone who thinks of sex as often) as a man. Another variable is what's promiscuous. Once again, my grandma would say anyone who's had sex outside of marriage. lol I don't even know what I consider promiscuous, but what is considered promiscuous changes constantly.

I also think that WD used that term, specifically, to (a) get people to open this thread and (b) piss people off.

 

[ownedsubgal]

I also think that WD used that term, specifically, to (a) get people to open this thread and (b) piss people off.

well of course, that is his M.O. in these cases i try to focus on the topic not so much the topic starter.

i just really wish that more people would recognize the difference between the connotations of a word, and the meaning of a word. "slut" has many different connotations, from a lusty/horny woman who loves sex to a girl's who cheated on you to, according to your grandma, a woman who has sex at all outside of marriage, lol. but none of these are the meaning of the word slut. it gets extremely tiring and frustrating for me trying to communicate with people who insist on disregarding basic/general/clear/dictionary definitions of terms and instead have to be analyzed and questioned ad nauseum in order to ascertain what they mean when they are using that word. it makes me feel like charlie brown, "good grief!"

 

[Etoile]

{{osg}}
(as promised!)

 

[graceanne]

well of course, that is his M.O. in these cases i try to focus on the topic not so much the topic starter.

Yeah, me too.

i just really wish that more people would recognize the difference between the connotations of a word, and the meaning of a word. "slut" has many different connotations, from a lusty/horny woman who loves sex to a girl's who cheated on you to, according to your grandma, a woman who has sex at all outside of marriage, lol. but none of these are the meaning of the word slut. it gets extremely tiring and frustrating for me trying to communicate with people who insist on disregarding basic/general/clear/dictionary definitions of terms and instead have to be analyzed and questioned ad nauseum in order to ascertain what they mean when they are using that word. it makes me feel like charlie brown, "good grief!"

Ok, that I'll go for.

The actual dictionary meaning for slut is:

1. a dirty, slovenly woman.
2. an immoral or dissolute woman; prostitute.

and

1. A person, especially a woman, considered sexually promiscuous.
2. A woman prostitute.​

But mostly what I think is being argued here is the connotations.

That said, you know as well as I do that I won't argue the connotations of labels. That's what you call a dead end argument, because everyone has different connotations of descriptive words.

 

[ownedsubgal]

oh yeah, as far as promiscuous, graceanne is correct in that this is totally variable depending on one's background/culture/upbringing, etc.

it's defined basically as:
1. characterized by or involving indiscriminate mingling or association, esp. having sexual relations with a number of partners on a casual basis.

the variable part is the "number." is it 50? 100? 2? depending on who you ask, it could be any of those, but no matter how you look at it, it is absolutely NOT "horny woman who just loooooves sex."

 

[Etoile]

2. an immoral or dissolute woman

Of course, this begs the question...whose morals?

 

[graceanne]

Of course, this begs the question...whose morals?

Pretty much.

 

[ownedsubgal]

Of course, this begs the question...whose morals?

you folks are incorrigible! :caning:













*and you had better not like it, either!*

 

[graceanne]

it is absolutely NOT "horny woman who just loooooves sex."

I don't disagree, honestly. As I've said, I do not consider myself a slut, and I'm REALLY horny (more so than normal since I'm not getting any) and I love sex. I'm still not gonna argue it with someone else. If that's how they choose to define slut, more power to them, especially since quite often they define it that way, cause when their SO calls them a slut, it turns them on.

 

[graceanne]

*and you had better not like it, either!*

I'm sorry. Do it again, I won't like it next time.

 

[jenniferbaby]

As far as being a "slut" is concerned...it's a very freeing thing in some ways. Feeling slutty and being treated like a slut makes me feel incredibly uninhibited. I delight in him calling me his slut or his whore, but I wouldn't tolerate it from some random schlub on the street.

Yes, definitely. There's nothing sexier than being called and treated like a slut by someone you're intimate with. I'll be damned if I'm called that by anyone else.

I don't mind being called slut. I don't see it as rude or anything, I like it actualy and find it kind of flatering. For me anyways. I also don't see a slut as someone who sleep with lots of men. Not at all! For me its all about the attitude. About someones nature and the way someone is.

I think I am slut yes. And I fuckin enjoy it!

This goes back to people's definition of what a slut is, and there are obviously many many definitions. For me also, it's about the attitude, and I consider myself to be very slutty because that's the attitude I enjoy having.

It's always on my mind in one way or another. Something else may take priority at any given time, but sex is always lurking in my brain somewhere.

You know how they say men think about sex every seven seconds, on average? Yeah. I'd say the only time I have seven-second delays between my thoughts of sex are when I'm asleep.

This definitely sums up my thoughts on sex and why, in turn, I consider myself slutty.

Give me a dirty slut who loves cock and isn't afraid to admit it. In my circle of friends we will love that woman, draw cards, and form a line to show her our love and appreciation for her lifestyle with smiles on our faces and hard cocks in our hands.

Reading this turned me on.

So to call someone a 'cunt' is to say two things about her: that she's sexual, and that she's wise and knowledgeable. That does not seem to me a bad thing to say.

So this is why I enjoy being called a cunt. At least there's a valid reason for it.

A guy and I were talking about our latest fantasies, and I told him mine involved being forced to my knees and being called a slut. He asked me why I liked being called a slut and I told him it makes me feel uninhibited and sexy. He asked me why some women feel like they can't be uninhibited and sexy without being called those names, and I tried to explain that I can feel uninhibited and sexy without those names but that it's just something that I like. Maybe there is no reason for it beyond it's what I like. The main issue involved in being uninhibited and sexy is that you like what you like without apologies.

 

[Netzach]

I, like Graceanne and Gilroygal69 have no problem letting my Hubby or bf have sex just because they want to. It is part of service and making them happy.

However if I turn the whole concept on its head and think about a men having sex with me just because I want it ... that would not work at all.

I thought it was because I'm wired to want to give pleasure as I ID as submissive. But if you (Netzach) don't appreciate obligatory nookies, maybe is just one of those women VS men thing?

It's funny, I wasn't even thinking about bored guys. I was thinking about fucking an indifferent girl. It's a cold shower for me.

 

[StrayKat]

It's funny, I wasn't even thinking about bored guys. I was thinking about fucking an indifferent girl. It's a cold shower for me.

I feel exactly the same. Maybe that is why I find straight women sexually repulsive. Even if they "try" for whatever reason I cannot make myself go on them. I tried just to be sure, it doesnt work for me.