my introduction and first ever short story

[Sultry47]

Hi, im sultry47. Im a divorced female living in Manchester UK. Im not a writer im just an ordinary female who likes to bring some of her fantasies to life in short stories.some real,some ficticious. No one hasd ever read any of my stories before, till now. My story is called Making it happen. enjoy

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=31994498#post31994498

 

[CWatson]

No one hasd ever read any of my stories before, till now.

And no one's going to read your stories either unless you post a link. I don't say that to be mean. There are something like 100 stories that go up on Literotica per day, and wading through all of them just to find yours... Well, no offense, ma'am, but most of us are going to decide we have better things to do. Besides, if you want us to like the story, it pays to make it easy to like.

 

[Sultry47]

yes i realised that a little late haha not used to all this and thank you

 

[poppy_cock]

By the looks of things, there can't be a link yet cos the story hasn't been approved - put it this way, it's not showing up on your member page, Sultry.

Come back and post a link when it is, okay? It can take anything from 3 days to a week to show up here, depending on how you submitted the story (and provided it isn't rejected for any reason).

Welcome to Lit

 

[jacks4u]

Welcome to Literotica!

I haven't read your story, no link. But I'd never tell someone "don't bother to write any more, you suck" - that's just mean spirited, and does not take into account a person's ability to learn and grow.

At most, I'd tell you, or anyone else things like: "show, don't tell", "more dialog, please", "that <thing, situation, wording, etc...> doesn't make sense in this situation.

But "Oh, that's rubbish, toss it" is just plain garbage. Literotica forums has many areas and features to help authors grow, gain experience, become better. I'll try to link a few here:

Writers' Challenges and Exercises, http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=56

Story Discussion Circle, http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=14

Author's hangout, http://forum.literotica.com/forumdisplay.php?f=3

To make best use of some of the forums, read the 'stickies' - the permanent posts at the top of the forum, for tips on how to use that forum to grow as an author.

Enjoy,

Jacks

 

[York]

Nice to see another Manc!

From a story point of view, would be nice to have more build up, more how they ended up in that situation. How did they meet, why did he so often work late?

Also, get someone to proof read it and get the punctuation and grammar correct. Also, get it in a word processor and use a spell checker. Words like "cud" for could are just plain ugly.

There are some promising signs. This: "The hum of the machinery in the background muffled the sound of my heels." is good, so many stories here mention nothing about surroundings to give an idea of what the setting is like.

Good luck with your writing. Why not flesh this out and submit it as a proper story? Everyone has to start somewhere and everyone was "Not a writer" at some point.