First Read request

[Darkniciad]

May as well do this here, as well. ( already posted the beg in the Summer contest support thread )

I'm looking for a few people to first read a new story I'm working on. I've been off the horse for a while, I'm not real comfortable in the saddle yet, and this S.O.B. is bucking like mad. It's only the first two chapters, so there's no resolution of the conflicts introduced, obviously.

For anybody who knows my other stories, it's set in the same world as Danica and all the rest. It's actually part of the Nobles by Deed series, which includes Blackhawk Hall, and more recently, To Catch a Merchant Princess. This one takes place at around the same time period as Merchant Princess, and stars Cerebus "Mindblind" Blackhawk from Blackhawk Hall. I'm putting some of his history out there, as I've done for Thakkor and Alicia in Merchant Princess and Christi in Casting.

Swords and ( minimal ) sorcery fantasy. The sex is rough, but consentual, and straight ( though FF is mentioned by a character in Ch. 2 ) The two chapters are about 13k words combined.

I don't need nuts and bolts grammar stuff, though I won't turn down any offered. I haven't even spell-checked these yet, actually ( I'm not that horrible, and spell-as-you-go is on ) What I'm really looking for is thoughts and impressions -- knee-jerk reactions to the story, characters, setting, etc.

I have them uploaded on my webspace, so I can just link to them in PM for anybody willing to give me a read. The feedback can be public in the thread or private. Doesn't matter to me. The only reason I'm not just posting the links is that it hasn't been approved by Lit yet, obviously ( though I have no reason to believe it wouldn't be )

I'm probably going to be looking for lots of first reads in the future, so if you happen to be a fan of my stories in Danica's world, here's a chance to sneak peeks at upcoming stories/chapters, including Sisters of the Mists *laugh*

Drop me a line or post in the thead if you you wouldn't mind giving them a read.

Feel free to use this thread as your "I need a first read" resource, as well. No sense in me hogging it for myself

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

I'll get to it, Dark, my friend.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

Very different kind of read, Dark. The only coments I have are about your references. Such as -

Dark: J. Geils much?

J. Geils Band? Before, during or after Peter Wolf? The band died in 1999.

Dark: Dick in the hand not worth two in the bush, Grasshopper!

Kung Fu, obviously. The series ended in 1975 then ran reruns for 8 years.

Dark: Who you gonna call? Nutbusters!

Film, Ghostbusters was released in 1984. Sometime around 1990 the porn suck film nutbusters came out (never saw it).

and so on. These references are ok for the 30+ crowd, but younger readers may be lost.

But still, very innovative and different. Still rates a 5.

 

[Darkniciad]

*Laugh* You think those are bad? How about

"A Dweeb approaches! Command?" That's an even narrower focus group Dragon Warrior I *laugh*

I actually like the obscure references more than the mainstream ones, and these spoofs always do well when I release them on a day that isn't a frikkin' Sunday before a holiday *sigh* I'm hittin' my target readers, at least. Those who get those jokes only laugh all the harder because they know that nobody else is getting it.

You should go back and read some of the ones that Falling to Fly helped me rip into, like Ep. 02 & 03 -- or really any of them where I had other people on board suffering through the story with me

Very different kind of read, Dark. The only coments I have are about your references. Such as -

J. Geils Band? Before, during or after Peter Wolf? The band died in 1999.

Kung Fu, obviously. The series ended in 1975 then ran reruns for 8 years.

Film, Ghostbusters was released in 1984. Sometime around 1990 the porn suck film nutbusters came out (never saw it).

and so on. These references are ok for the 30+ crowd, but younger readers may be lost.

But still, very innovative and different. Still rates a 5.

 

[Jenny_Jackson]

*Laugh* You think those are bad? How about

"A Dweeb approaches! Command?" That's an even narrower focus group Dragon Warrior I *laugh*

I actually like the obscure references more than the mainstream ones, and these spoofs always do well when I release them on a day that isn't a frikkin' Sunday before a holiday *sigh* I'm hittin' my target readers, at least. Those who get those jokes only laugh all the harder because they know that nobody else is getting it.

You should go back and read some of the ones that Falling to Fly helped me rip into, like Ep. 02 & 03 -- or really any of them where I had other people on board suffering through the story with me

I've been suffering all day, Dark. You know how I hate giving a plus to anyone's story...especially one of my own