Anime Porn? Gasp!!

[Guest]

deleted

 

[vrosej10]

Our daughter just came out of her room, seemed a bit concerned, and wanted to talk to us. We became concerned, but were patient, and waited to hear what she needed to say.

"Um," she began. "I've accidentally opened some Anime porn."

Stifled grins. Ahem.

Well, this was inevitable. Our daughter is a huge Anime fan, she went in costume to the convention last March, and in fact tomorrow she is signing up new members for the Anime club at high school. Quite frankly, I'm surprised this hasn't come up before now. But we were very glad she said something about this to us.

We were able to be "good" parents, and let her know that this was okay. No worries.

I actually said that it was fine to be curious, to explore some of the genre. She's young but very intelligent. But she needed to take it with a grain of salt - okay, a truckload of salt - because that wasn't really how men and women acted together. There was a great deal of violence in anime porn, a lot of women being subjugated, things that some old Japanese businessmen loved to see. Not necessarily our culture, and certainly not reality.

I also said I loved the internet because of all the ready information, but that it was also a source of concern because of that same reason. She should be a cautious observer, we said, and please come to us with any other questions or concerns.

Obviously relieved, she said she thought that we'd be mad and lock her in a tower. Or her room.

We said - what good would that do? Your computer's in there!

Grins and warm feelings all around.

So here we are, feeling proud to be good parents.

Of course, if my sister knew we reacted this way, her conservative Baptist neo-con head would completely explode.

Sweet.

Very smart parenting. Kudos. It's exactly how I'd handle it.

 

[KarennaC]

That's pretty much how I did handle it when I ran into the same situation with my daughter about a year and a half ago.

She was 12 at the time, and we lived in Maine, where all 7th and 8th grade students are assigned a laptop for their own use. Being the technogeek she is, my darling child hacked the filters and, since she was into anime and had heard about hentai, went in search of some. She said she didn't know what it was when she started looking; I believe her.

Problem was, not only did she find and view quite a bit of hentai; she clicked links on the hentai sites that led to real porn sites. (Including one called "Fish Sex Games"... to this day, all I have to do is say "Fish" to her and she cracks up.)

I got a call from the school telling me what she'd done; one of her teachers had found all the sites on a routine internet history check. I went in to meet with her team, and they handed me a print out of the internet history and informed me that she had lost the use of her laptop other than under direct supervision in class. They acted as though she'd committed some crime, or had some kind of psychological problem, which ticked me off. I've worked in middle schools; I know kids look at that kind of stuff if they can.

I took my daughter home and made her think I was furious with her. I couldn't cut her too much slack; not only had she viewed porn, but she'd done it on her school laptop. But when we sat down and started talking, I couldn't help laughing. She stared at me like I'd gone mental, then relaxed when she realized I wasn't angry. I told her there's nothing wrong with being curious, but that there's a reason those sites are intended for people over 18. I asked her a few questions about what she'd seen- deliberate, explicit questions- and watched as her face got redder and redder until I finally let her off the hook and said, "Now you know why you're too young to see that stuff. If you can't handle talking about it, you shouldn't be watching it."

She lost her home computer privileges for a week, mainly for being dishonest and for hacking the school internet filters, and even though that was near the end of her 7th grade year, right through 8th grade she was only allowed to use her school laptop under a teacher's direct supervision. The experience did give us an opening to talk more about sex, which was a positive thing since she was too embarrassed and I never knew how to bring it up. She was a little grossed out by what she saw, and says she doesn't plan on doing anything like that till she's out of high school at least, so I guess that's a good thing. At least after our talk, she understood that there was nothing wrong with her for being curious and sneaking peeks online. She'd thought she was really messed up for wanting to look at it.

She's 14 now. No viewing porn that we're aware of; between my boyfriend and me, someone's nearly always in the room when she's on her computer- which is in the family "study"- and he checks her history on a random basis. She's still curious, but asks questions now instead of exploring online. She does occasionally ask me why she can't read my "hot" romance stories, but I just remind her she isn't 18 yet and hand her one of my young adult manuscripts instead.

Sarahh, ah, the joys of parenting a teen or near-teen, huh? Sounds like you guys did a great job with the situation, though, and huge kudos to you for raising a child who would come to you and admit to finding something like that.

 

[rgraham666]

Nicely done, sarahh.

 

[ClimbHi]

Of course, if my sister knew we reacted this way, her conservative Baptist neo-con head would completely explode.

Nah.

That only happens in anime porn. ;-)

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Bright kid + computer = hacking. I think it's some latent genetic tendency that's been lying in wait for a million and half years just to more clearly demonstrate that irony is the humor of God. And is it a hoot? Wow! My district has all kinds of security features 'strictly controlled' by district office and they only serve to keep the teachers out. The kids? Every time a new filter is installed, their immediate goal in life is to bypass it. Doesn't take long, either. Fortunately, at the level I work, it's a minor issue but in high school?

http://i264.photobucket.com/albums/ii177/1volupturary_manque/36_2_34.gif

 

[john-the-author]

My all-time favorite Dilbert strip is about this:

http://dilbert.com/dyn/str_strip/000000000/00000000/0000000/000000/10000/8000/100/18181/18181.strip.gif

 

[JamesSD]

Oh noes! The Tentacles!!!

 

[Guest]

deleted

 

[TE999]

(Tentacles - snicker!)

Thanks, everyone. Karenna - good on your smart daughter!

We feel quite pleased with our kid. We hope that she'll feel able to bring other more serious things to our attention, like calling for a ride if she's at a party that's gotten out of hand, for example. We hope.

Oh - and I forgot one thing!

When we told her it was okay to cautiously explore we also warned her - don't ever sign up for anything!

She laughed, said - No, she would never do that.

After she went back to her room, hubby was laughing. He said - oh, great. Great advice we gave our kid.

It's okay to check out online porn, but for god's sake don't pay for it!

Some sites only ask for your e-mail addy to gain access.

As Bob Dylan once sang: "Don't worry Mom, I'm only web surfing..."

Seriously, you guys done it right. That holy-go-pious sis of you'rn would have traumatized the poor kid into thinking she was evil and dirty...and just increased her curiosity.

 

[glynndah]

That reminds me of a little incident. My sister was worried because her 16 year old son wanted a swimsuit calendar to hang up in his room.

My sister asked my husband "What would your mother have said if you wanted something like this when you were sixteen?"

My husband's reply?

"When I was 16, my mother let me spend a week in Paris and Barcelona with my girlfriend. Do you think she would have cared about a calendar?"

Oddly enough, he was never asked child rearing questions ever again.

 

[KarennaC]

(Tentacles - snicker!)

Thanks, everyone. Karenna - good on your smart daughter!

We feel quite pleased with our kid. We hope that she'll feel able to bring other more serious things to our attention, like calling for a ride if she's at a party that's gotten out of hand, for example. We hope.

Oh - and I forgot one thing!

When we told her it was okay to cautiously explore we also warned her - don't ever sign up for anything!

She laughed, said - No, she would never do that.

After she went back to her room, hubby was laughing. He said - oh, great. Great advice we gave our kid.

It's okay to check out online porn, but for god's sake don't pay for it!

Nothing wrong with giving your child financial advice

 

[TheeGoatPig]

After reading all of this, I am just glad that I got my first computer after I had started my career, and that it was 100% my own computer and that I didn't have to ask my parents for anything or hide anything from them with it.

 

[Tarakin]

(...) We hope that she'll feel able to bring other more serious things to our attention, like calling for a ride if she's at a party that's gotten out of hand, for example. We hope. (...)

Listening and giving advice instead of punishment always helps with this cause.