A need to share

[mistressmaxine]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this.
I have been exploring this lifestyle for some time. It started, as many things do, with a joke in a conversation and from there I started to read, research and discovered a deep desire to be a submissive. I started to read stories, joined this site and even write my own stories although not yet had the confidence to share them! I tried contacting people but discovered that some people on these sites, I am such an innocent sometimes, are here to be cruel, nasty and want to degrade women.
However recently I was contacted by someone with whom I seemed to have an instant rapport, he directed me to his stories and from there we progressed to email etc. Last week we met up, in a public place with safety in mind, for coffee and chatted for 3 hours. Yesterday we met again and I officially became his sub and he my Dom, my Master. If you read this, which I know you will, I thank you for allowing me to be the person I always knew I was. And for those people who do what I did, and hid behind the boards, there is someone out there for you too, you just have to find them.

 

[Sir_Winston54]

I'm not sure if this is the right place for this. <snip>

It'll do And congratulations - I hope things work out well for your new Dom and you.

Remember, too, that this culture, like all of life, is an ongoing learning process. After more than 40 years of kink - during part of which I didn't know there *was* such a thing as kink or a name for it or other people who enjoyed it (other than my partners ) - I am still learning new things almost every day from both other experienced kinksters and folks who are relatively new to our culture.

Welcome to a wider world!

 

[Sir_Winston54]

<snip> I tried contacting people but discovered that some people on these sites, I am such an innocent sometimes, are here to be cruel, nasty and want to degrade women. <snip>

Yes, there are those even in Lit, a site devoted to exploration of one's sexuality, who are as narrow-minded, self-righteous and bigoted as Fred Phelps; however, within the confines of *this* board (BDSM Talk and the BDSM Café), you will find that the vast majority are just like you, will support you, share their experiences and knowledge, offer shoulders to lean on when needed, and laughs when those are needed; and for the most part do not tolerate trolls and bigots.

 

[MisterSir]

Yes, there are those even in Lit, a site devoted to exploration of one's sexuality, who are as narrow-minded, self-righteous and bigoted as Fred Phelps

Half playing Devil's Advocate, half making a serious point - "cruel, nasty and want to degrade women" is a pretty nice summary for the way the vanilla world at large thinks of sadists, dominants and those who get off on humiliation respectively. Without context, comparing them to Fred Phelps is quite an insult.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Half playing Devil's Advocate, half making a serious point - "cruel, nasty and want to degrade women" is a pretty nice summary for the way the vanilla world at large thinks of sadists, dominants and those who get off on humiliation respectively. Without context, comparing them to Fred Phelps is quite an insult.

Not really.

Really.

You wouldn't believe the deplorable ratio of HNGs, abusers, cheaters, deluded fantasists and dangerously ignorant assholes there are over on BDSM Personals for every SSC practitioner with more than 2 braincells to rub together above his belt. Unless you go there advertising as a hetero sub woman, you just have no idea. I did it a few years back and it was utterly demoralising at times.

If she says some of her respondents were cruel, nasty and out to degrade women, it's probably because they were.

Congrats mistressmaxine, you've succeeded where many have failed. I hope things progress with this guy as you hope they will.

I'm curious to know how many pms you got seeking a domme as few subs around here call themselves mistress. You have a perfect right to call yourself whatever you like, I'm not criticising your choice at all.

Welcome to Lit

 

[mistressmaxine]

Name choice

Actually the name came from a nickname an internet friend had for me and when I started to explore, Lit being the first site I joined, it was the first name that came to mind, as simple as that.

I have always made it clear where my predilictions lay although I had my doubts initially, but I think now the name is a nice twist to what really lies beneath!!

 

[mistressmaxine]

Reply

Half playing Devil's Advocate, half making a serious point - "cruel, nasty and want to degrade women" is a pretty nice summary for the way the vanilla world at large thinks of sadists, dominants and those who get off on humiliation respectively. Without context, comparing them to Fred Phelps is quite an insult.

Maybe you just have to be a woman and try it out to realise the stark truth.

 

[mistressmaxine]

And I forgot to say, I hardly got any pm's for a domme, I think because, as I said, I always made it clear.

Not really.

Really.

You wouldn't believe the deplorable ratio of HNGs, abusers, cheaters, deluded fantasists and dangerously ignorant assholes there are over on BDSM Personals for every SSC practitioner with more than 2 braincells to rub together above his belt. Unless you go there advertising as a hetero sub woman, you just have no idea. I did it a few years back and it was utterly demoralising at times.

If she says some of her respondents were cruel, nasty and out to degrade women, it's probably because they were.

Congrats mistressmaxine, you've succeeded where many have failed. I hope things progress with this guy as you hope they will.

I'm curious to know how many pms you got seeking a domme as few subs around here call themselves mistress. You have a perfect right to call yourself whatever you like, I'm not criticising your choice at all.

Welcome to Lit

 

[mistressmaxine]

Yes, there are those even in Lit, a site devoted to exploration of one's sexuality, who are as narrow-minded, self-righteous and bigoted as Fred Phelps; however, within the confines of *this* board (BDSM Talk and the BDSM Café), you will find that the vast majority are just like you, will support you, share their experiences and knowledge, offer shoulders to lean on when needed, and laughs when those are needed; and for the most part do not tolerate trolls and bigots.

Thank you for your support, and to all others. My confidence has taken a huge boost, and that includes taking part in discussions. Who knows I might even post one of my attempts at story writing one of these days!!

 

[MasterMischief]

... HNGs, abusers, cheaters, deluded fantasists and dangerously ignorant assholes there are over on BDSM Personals for every SSC practitioner with more than 2 braincells to rub together above his belt.

You rang?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

You rang?

I hate to say I told me so but honestly, why do you want to be perceived as a jackass?

Oh yeah. Because you are.

You're rocking a humiliation vibe that I just don't get. You're special. So is the GB.

 

[MasterMischief]

I hate to say I told me so but honestly, why do you want to be perceived as a jackass?

Oh yeah. Because you are.

You're rocking a humiliation vibe that I just don't get. You're special. So is the GB.

I'm just owning it.

 

[SimonBrooke]

Last week we met up, in a public place with safety in mind, for coffee and chatted for 3 hours. Yesterday we met again and I officially became his sub and he my Dom, my Master. If you read this, which I know you will, I thank you for allowing me to be the person I always knew I was. And for those people who do what I did, and hid behind the boards, there is someone out there for you too, you just have to find them.

Congratulations, and welcome to the dark side

 

[Adakgirl]

You wouldn't believe the deplorable ratio of HNGs, abusers, cheaters, deluded fantasists and dangerously ignorant assholes there are over on BDSM Personals for every SSC practitioner with more than 2 braincells to rub together above his belt. Unless you go there advertising as a hetero sub woman, you just have no idea.

BINGO! Velvet is absolutely right on the money with this and I couldn't agree more.

 

[mistressmaxine]

Congratulations, and welcome to the dark side

I wish I could say it lasted, but methinks it hasn't.....One lives and learns and runs away and hides again.....

 

[ultramarineblue]

I wish I could say it lasted, but methinks it hasn't.....One lives and learns and runs away and hides again.....

Why running and hiding?

 

[mistressmaxine]

Why running and hiding?

Because it took me a couple of years to have the courage to appear as it were and it doesn't seem to have worked, and in the end hiding works best for me.

 

[CutieMouse]

Because it took me a couple of years to have the courage to appear as it were and it doesn't seem to have worked, and in the end hiding works best for me.

Rhetorical question ...

Are you really going to give this PYL the continued power to dictate your personal happiness?

It didn't work out. Curse a little, have a glass or three of wine, evaluate what did and and didn't work - and try again a wee bit wiser and more experienced.

 

[SimonBrooke]

Because it took me a couple of years to have the courage to appear as it were and it doesn't seem to have worked, and in the end hiding works best for me.

It doesn't seem to have worked with this one man.

Thanks to the efforts of the Fraserburgh skippers, there aren't now nearly as many fish in the sea as ever came out of it - but I'm certain he isn't the only fish you can catch.

Have courage; pick yourself up, dust yourself off, and try again. And maybe go a wee bit slower next time?

 

[mistressmaxine]

Thanks to all for comments and advice but in the hope that things may be salvagable I would like to close this discussion down.