why is it that.....

[sweetlilsub]

every romance book i read that has demonica, submissive tendencies in the female character, dominant tendencies in the alpha male, vampire, or anything that could be even remotely considered "dark" has bondage and sadism referenced?

if thats confusing, what i am asking is why does BDSM get such a bad taboo name? because we might like something on the different side of life, that means different should be hidden in a closet, where all the boogeyman, vampies, and other paraphernalia reside?

that pisses me off. why must my dif tastes be hidden? ugh. society sometimes really gets on my nerves.

does it anyone elses?

 

[WriterDom]

every romance book i read that has demonica, submissive tendencies in the female character, dominant tendencies in the alpha male, vampire, or anything that could be even remotely considered "dark" has bondage and sadism referenced?

if thats confusing, what i am asking is why does BDSM get such a bad taboo name? because we might like something on the different side of life, that means different should be hidden in a closet, where all the boogeyman, vampies, and other paraphernalia reside?

that pisses me off. why must my dif tastes be hidden? ugh. society sometimes really gets on my nerves.

does it anyone elses?

Wouldn't something dark want to tie you up and hurt you? Kill you perhaps? Use you for its pleasure without your consent?

 

[Primalex]

or anything that could be even remotely considered "dark" has bondage and sadism referenced?

*looks at his AV*


http://www.krambox.de/media/1/20051216-mieze.jpg wouldn't work.

 

[Netzach]

every romance book i read that has demonica, submissive tendencies in the female character, dominant tendencies in the alpha male, vampire, or anything that could be even remotely considered "dark" has bondage and sadism referenced?

if thats confusing, what i am asking is why does BDSM get such a bad taboo name? because we might like something on the different side of life, that means different should be hidden in a closet, where all the boogeyman, vampies, and other paraphernalia reside?

that pisses me off. why must my dif tastes be hidden? ugh. society sometimes really gets on my nerves.

does it anyone elses?

Many, many people in this subculture love paranormal vampires werewolves and all that crap. To answer "does my wife have submissive tendencies" I find that often "does she love that vampire stuff" answers the question.

My tolerance personally is about at a 3 out of 10. My interest is about a 1 in 10. So I feel you on that. I don't care for sci fi, other than Alphaville and City of Lost Children, generally, either. And I don't do the ren faire.

However if I were writing a book I wanted to sell among kinked people, I'd probably write a vampire and vampire hunter are chasing one another down undercover at the Renfaire kind of book.

 

[JMohegan]

every romance book i read that has demonica, submissive tendencies in the female character, dominant tendencies in the alpha male, vampire, or anything that could be even remotely considered "dark" has bondage and sadism referenced?

if thats confusing, what i am asking is why does BDSM get such a bad taboo name? because we might like something on the different side of life, that means different should be hidden in a closet, where all the boogeyman, vampies, and other paraphernalia reside?

that pisses me off. why must my dif tastes be hidden? ugh. society sometimes really gets on my nerves.

does it anyone elses?

If teen females everywhere are panting and swooning for that Twilight dude, I'd say that makes the underlying dynamic seem more mainstream than taboo. In fact, I've heard more than a few feminists complain about the popularity of Harlequin ravaging and whatnot, pointing to this as evidence of our society's messed up values, i.e., obsession with male dominance.

That aside, BDSM itself gets "a bad taboo name" primarily because of the surface similarity to actual abuse.

 

[Homburg]

City of Lost Children

I that movie.

One of the most popular pen-and-paper RPG's of all time was "Vampire, the Masquerade". It's a popular meme for many, many reasons.

 

[DVS]

A lot, if not all romance novels are written by people who do it from a formula. They churn them out, one after another, using the same basic plot, but with twists here and there so it won't sound just like the last one they wrote.

These writers have a knack for this sort of thing, and they (or the publisher they work for) know what their readers feed on. They know what steams up the windows of the reader's bedroom.

They take that workable formula and interject a different bad guy, a different victim and a different scenario and fit it with a tempting title when finished. They sell mostly to those horny vanilla housewives, as well as innocent girls who want to experience the dark side of life (or what they consider the dark side, never having been there themselves), without actually going there.

They never really get soiled, used, abused, raped or tormented, but their panties still get wet reading about it. The innocence in their own real life experiences combined with the dark yet deliciously exciting tale where they can live out their fantasies as victim, and never leave the safety of their own bedroom.

And they can do it all while hubby is at work, and dinner's cooking on the stove. Don't call me for stereotyping. The formula reaches the reader who loves that style of writing for what it gives them...what their own life is missing, but they're afraid to seek it out for real.

 

[OldGuy1026]

LOL, ofcourse to reverse DVS what about guys like me? Wife's at work and here I am cursing Literotica remembering how old girlfriends would spank and dominate me, then expect me to go to work. Now I have a wife who makes more money, she dominates me horribly, occasinally cooks for me. Okay no spanks, but what da heck I'm happy.

I know it's dark, horrible, what will the Bridge Club say? Who cares, I'm happy!

 

[Etoile]

I that movie.

One of the most popular pen-and-paper RPG's of all time was "Vampire, the Masquerade". It's a popular meme for many, many reasons.

Pen and paper? I LARPed that shit! Tremere baby, all the way.

 

[FurryFury]

I'm still playing VtM every chance I get! I love that game.

 

[Vixandra]

However if I were writing a book I wanted to sell among kinked people, I'd probably write a vampire and vampire hunter are chasing one another down undercover at the Renfaire kind of book.

I do Ren Faires... and I would totally love that book. You should write.
Faire's are full of kink-friendly and kink-participating people.

I got recognized off another site by a friend of my guild... who also happens to be a Gorean slave trader.



Sorry for the hijack. To the topic at hand- I read a lot of vampire/were-anything/fey/magical girl whatever books. And most women who like to be tied up in them consider that side of themselves bad/wrong/twisted. Some don't, but many do.

I do find it vexing that the very few dominant women in these books consider themselves to be wrong for being what they are or are utter bitches with no care or concern for those around them. Domme's can care too.

 

[Netzach]

I do Ren Faires... and I would totally love that book. You should write.
Faire's are full of kink-friendly and kink-participating people.

I got recognized off another site by a friend of my guild... who also happens to be a Gorean slave trader.



Sorry for the hijack. To the topic at hand- I read a lot of vampire/were-anything/fey/magical girl whatever books. And most women who like to be tied up in them consider that side of themselves bad/wrong/twisted. Some don't, but many do.

I do find it vexing that the very few dominant women in these books consider themselves to be wrong for being what they are or are utter bitches with no care or concern for those around them. Domme's can care too.

I don't read the genre so I don't know much about it, but it seems that Dominant women are usually sociopaths in fiction.

I'm not a sociopath, I can't relate. I like to play one once in a while, but overall it gets a little one-note.

The fact is, Dominant men or women are harder protagonists to write. Almost never is fiction from the D POV.

And most FemDom is written by and for men.

 

[Vixandra]

I don't read the genre so I don't know much about it, but it seems that Dominant women are usually sociopaths in fiction.

I'm not a sociopath, I can't relate. I like to play one once in a while, but overall it gets a little one-note.

The fact is, Dominant men or women are harder protagonists to write. Almost never is fiction from the D POV.

And most FemDom is written by and for men.

Quite true. I don't buy a lot of erotic fiction, though heaven knows some of the vamp/were/etc books have sex scenes better suited to Hustler or here on Lit then in a book someone underage could buy.

I guess most writers write what their own mindset is like, in some reflection of themselves (I tend to). I find it easier to write an outspoken, sarcastic, loyal woman then a mousy, Susie-home-maker type.
So in that theory, we need more dominant women writing best-selling fiction.

 

[jockdom]

I :heart: that movie.One of the most popular pen-and-paper RPG's of all time was "Vampire, the Masquerade". It's a popular meme for many, many reasons.

Me too! Funnily enough I just bought the DVD yesterday ! I didn't know the camera man was the same as did se7ven and Angelo Badalamenti (of twin peaks fame) did the soundtrack. Holywood wouldn't even attempt to make a film like this or Delicatessen. On the bright side at least Nicolas Cage wonjt massacre a great film(heres hoping!).
You can see where Pans labyrinth got some of its Ideas from.

 

[ShyVixen]

I write books in this area. I have books published in this genre. I'm just going to sit back and watch the debate.

I don't read the genre so I don't know much about it, but it seems that Dominant women are usually sociopaths in fiction.

I'm not a sociopath, I can't relate. I like to play one once in a while, but overall it gets a little one-note.

The fact is, Dominant men or women are harder protagonists to write. Almost never is fiction from the D POV.

And most FemDom is written by and for men.

Actually, a lot of smaller publishing houses are delving into the FemDom area. Written by women. And these Domme's aren't sociopaths. But alas, these are NY Times best selling publishing houses.

 

[Homburg]

Pen and paper? I LARPed that shit! Tremere baby, all the way.

I'm still playing VtM every chance I get! I love that game.

Given that our online effort didn't catch on, I'm going to start up a monthly LARP here based off the one I ran previously. Working on characters and background with ZRT got that itch going in the back of my skull. So I have done some research and am finding players.

Etoile, you aren't all that far away. Just sayin'...


Note: VtM. I don't do that Requiem crap.

 

[OldGuy1026]

It has been about 11 years since I've done a Face to Face roleplaying game. Who here remembers Space Opera? Beleive me, there is a game you can sink your teeth into.

 

[FurryFury]

Given that our online effort didn't catch on, I'm going to start up a monthly LARP here based off the one I ran previously. Working on characters and background with ZRT got that itch going in the back of my skull. So I have done some research and am finding players.

Etoile, you aren't all that far away. Just sayin'...


Note: VtM. I don't do that Requiem crap.

Damn right!

 

[Homburg]

It has been about 11 years since I've done a Face to Face roleplaying game. Who here remembers Space Opera? Beleive me, there is a game you can sink your teeth into.

Owned a copy, but never found anyone that wanted to play it.

Meaty.

 

[Sayyid]

I think the very fact that people are discussing LARPing in this thread is indicative of the nerdy tendancies among this subculture at large.

Not that every kinkster likes fantasy, or attends fetish nights, or is a goth or whatever other stereotypes abound; but there is definitely some crossover between these subcultures.

 

[Homburg]

I think the very fact that people are discussing LARPing in this thread is indicative of the nerdy tendancies among this subculture at large.

Not that every kinkster likes fantasy, or attends fetish nights, or is a goth or whatever other stereotypes abound; but there is definitely some crossover between these subcultures.

Some? Crikey, it's endemic. Every fetish party or event I've gone to has had gamers, LARPers, RenFaire people, and/or goths. The only club I go to with any sort of regularity is a goth club, and the people there are all about kink. Well, they play in it, and make noise about it because it makes them feel cool, but the verbage is all over the place. And when I ran the LARP, there were a huge number of kinky and kink-friendly people in it.

BDSM all but requires a certain level of cognitive ability, and the facility for thought beyond single level physical drives. It is eroticising the most mixed of messages, after all, and it takes at least some mental acuity to handle that. The crossover with roleplay in sexual situations likeiwse makes it even more attractive to those with the sort of brain that digs roleplay in gaming, Ren, etc.

 

[Sayyid]

I see your point. The connections between sexual roleplay/gaming roleplay and goth fashion/fetish fashion are pretty obvious.

 

[DVS]

if thats confusing, what i am asking is why does BDSM get such a bad taboo name? because we might like something on the different side of life, that means different should be hidden in a closet, where all the boogeyman, vampies, and other paraphernalia reside?

that pisses me off. why must my dif tastes be hidden? ugh. society sometimes really gets on my nerves.

does it anyone elses?

Sure, it pisses me off. It's difficult to meet someone that's into BDSM. To me, it is almost a waste of time to date someone who's not into BDSM, because that's what I'm looking for in a mate. I've seen enough marriages and couples break up because one partner wants something the other isn't into. Why would I want to start something that won't ever last?

Now, I know there are some that could be into BDSM and not know it, but because it's considered strange, and somewhat of a taboo to the vanilla folks, how can you bring up the topic without the chance you'll be labeled a freak by your date? Talk about a mood killer!

It's not easy being into BDSM. None of my oldest and closest friends know about my kinks. I'm not really sure how any of them would even understand what I enjoy. Many of them think getting a blow job while parked in a busy parking lot is kinky.

One friend told me his wife was sucking his cock while he and I were on the phone one night. It didn't affect me one way or the other, but he laughed like a giddy little kid, when he told me. I could tell he thought it was really something.

I've got another friend whose sister was into BDSM. They weren't that close, and sadly, she died some years ago of breast cancer. But, in a heart to heart talk about her with me one night, he told me she had told him she was "into whips and chains" (his words not hers, I'd guess). He then told he he had no idea she was so weird.

Sure, BDSM is coming out of the closet, but it will take a long time before the younger vanilla generation is old enough and their parents have died off. That's when we will see a more understanding of such kinks. But, when the parents have died off, I will have also died off, so I will never know a kink friendly society. But, I know it is coming, if coming slowly.

 

[BiBunny]

I think the very fact that people are discussing LARPing in this thread is indicative of the nerdy tendancies among this subculture at large.

Not that every kinkster likes fantasy, or attends fetish nights, or is a goth or whatever other stereotypes abound; but there is definitely some crossover between these subcultures.

Which is why I always feel way out of place. I'm freakishly normal.

 

[the captians wench]

If teen females everywhere are panting and swooning for that Twilight dude, I'd say that makes the underlying dynamic seem more mainstream than taboo. In fact, I've heard more than a few feminists complain about the popularity of Harlequin ravaging and whatnot, pointing to this as evidence of our society's messed up values, i.e., obsession with male dominance.

That aside, BDSM itself gets "a bad taboo name" primarily because of the surface similarity to actual abuse.

I'm guilty of this.

I soooo Edward Cullin

I do Ren Faires... and I would totally love that book. You should write.
Faire's are full of kink-friendly and kink-participating people.

I got recognized off another site by a friend of my guild... who also happens to be a Gorean slave trader.

*giggles*
I learned about the kinky way of life (including the world of Gor) from the guy who owned the shop that sold my ren clothes, and the workers and regulars there.

I wore a collar that was made for me out of bicycle spokes when I went to the fair with it's creator and his wife. We were stopped by a few venders who asked me about it and we passed a few knowing glances before all parties were aware of what exactly we were talking about.