Foster Children.

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[Huckleman2000]

Depression is sad when you see it in adults' eyes. In a child's, you're right; it's simply heartbreaking.

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

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[rgraham666]

They looked like they were in shock. I hope the foster family is good. I hope they find some stability and hope.

With you on their side how could they not?

 

[wife2hotblk]

SARAH

Take some of them home and get a real education. Rats spawn rats, and snakes beget snakes. THAT look is how they hook fools.

Some children never have a chance in this world...and people like you only make it worse. I sincerely hope that you are not as nasty and mean in person as every single one of your posts on this forum. I generally just ignore you, but that comment was truly ignorant. I honestly can't believe anyone can be as arrogant, pompous and self-centered. Does every single one of your posts have to be so negative?

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

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[Tricialen]

 

[sadangel]

sss...have you been told lately that you are special? You are.

Those kids and those like them are lucky to have someone who actually gives a damn about them. Thank you for that.

 

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[amicus]

sss wife2hot...listen to JBJ, he speaks truth. He does not sugarcoat it as most progressives do, they, 'feel your pain', as we all do, but what JBJ says is valid, like it or not.

Even the best you could do, adopt one of those anime' type big eyed sad children and do your very best, 99 out of a hundred you could not save, what they suffered will guide them through the rest of their lives.

Abused, molested, neglected, ignored children become feral in another sense, they have learned what they must do to live and they will do that forever. All around this forum I read posters who have only suffered mild versions of the above and they rely soley upon prescripton narcotics and the fake Behaviorist psychology that denies all absolute values, anything goes, as a buffer between themselves and utter insanity.

JBJ doesn't even like me...and I am a really nice old guy; I understand him all too well, but he does speak the unadulterated truth from experience and knowledge.

Amicus...whether you like it or not....

 

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[R. Richard]

So we just piss on 'em and forget 'em?

Human kindness won't help a thing, ya say?

Hokay.

I'm not planning on adopting, ami. We don't have the room or the funds for foster kids, either.

But what does it hurt to put forth a teensy bit of effort to make their lives a bit less miserable?

That will always be worth my time and effort.

Trying to help others is a good and worthwhile pursuit. If you take the time and make the effort you are to be commended.

However, there are secondary effects you haven't considered. I well know the secondary effects, because I was in a worse situation than the kids you cite.

The first thing that a child alone in the world worries about is food. Will the child get fed his/her next meal and by whom? [In my case,I went out and stole the food I had to have to live. Most children aren't really capable enough to do this.]

The next thing the child worries about is having someplace to live. Many of the type of children you cite don't have a place to live, since their parents are drunks/drug addicts. If they do get a place to live, for how long?

The next thing child worries about is having clothes to wear that bear some resemblance to what their friends are wearing. When you have almost nothing, friends seem important. [I had no friends, my face was the wrong color.]

Then, when the child turns 18-years-old, the system suddenly dumps the child into the world to make his/her way as best the child can with the hauntingly beautiful Italian phrase ringing in the child's ears, 'Arrividerci alligatore.' [All of the kindness provided the child simply makes the child weaker. By the time I reached 18-years-old, I was fully capable of supporting myself, perhaps mainly because no one ever tried to help me, unless you count trying to dump me in juvie as helping me.]

Perhaps the best gift you can give a foster child is to allow the child to learn skills that are usable in the real world. Learning C++ is useful, Spanish not. Learning how to write a job application letter is useful, poetry not. Learning a useful skill, such as electrical, woodworking, web design is useful, American history not. JMNTHO.

 

[SweetWitch]

So we just piss on 'em and forget 'em?

Human kindness won't help a thing, ya say?

Hokay.

I'm not planning on adopting, ami. We don't have the room or the funds for foster kids, either.

But what does it hurt to put forth a teensy bit of effort to make their lives a bit less miserable?

That will always be worth my time and effort.

Sarah,

They say no good deed goes unpunished. I say "they" are wrong.

Years ago, when I was quite young, my grandmother took in a brother and sister. They were our ages--and they had that haunted look of which you spoke. After years of beatings and other abuse at the hands of their father, and watching their mother suffer the same, the man ran off and left them in abject poverty. The mother did remarry--out of necessity. The guy was nice, but he couldnt' stop the cancer that was eating the mother alive.

So the kids watched their mother die--bit by bit. The step-dad was gone for weeks, sometimes months at a time, working on the barges that floated up and down the river. The money wasn't much, but it kept the wolf from the door. The kids were raising themselves. They'd tasted independence, as well as fear, horror, hunger and pain.

When Gran found out about them, with their mother so ill, she took them in without question. Gran was a wonderful, loving, sweet woman who knew exactly what every child needed at the time they needed it.

Gramps was a hard, but fair man. He delivered discipline when it was needed. Together they made a hell of a team. When the mother died, followed by they're paternal grandfather, the dad showed up again. His dad had left a little money to the kids with the stipulation that his son was to get nothing. But sonny showed up to take the kids and the cash.

The terror came back, but the kids saw someone who was willing to fight to the bloody end for them--my grandmother. And she did. By the time she was done, the step-dad got full custody of them and someone in the community gave him a job that he only retired from last year.

To illustrate what this can mean for two lost children: The girl, Robin, is a doctor. She went to school on hard-earned scholarships and now works at Barnes in St Louis Missouri, helping children. The boy, Greg, is in education. He helps underpriv kids find scholarships to have a better life.

This is what one single set of hands can do for a child. Ami and that other person can be as negative as they want, but I've seen first hand what can be. Robin and Greg are our cousins, just as much as any other member of the family. We see them often and enjoy their enthusiasm. They are the gift our grandmother gave us.

 

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[amicus]

So we just piss on 'em and forget 'em?

Human kindness won't help a thing, ya say?

Hokay.

I'm not planning on adopting, ami. We don't have the room or the funds for foster kids, either.

But what does it hurt to put forth a teensy bit of effort to make their lives a bit less miserable?

That will always be worth my time and effort.

~~~

I don't think I implied, 'piss on 'em & forget..." sss. There are abandoned children all over the world. I am ashamed that they exist in this country, they should not; we have the means to care for them.

I have a little black girl down the street, about four years old that calls me 'grampa', I have no idea why, except that she is the child of a single white mom who seems to have a new boyfriend every few weeks.

There are four little Hispanic kids who love the cherry tomato's I grow and offer a smile and even a little hug on the leg sometimes, hispanic father, white mother, they seem happy and well cared for.

I detest the fact that there are abused and neglected children; that there are still orphanages and foster homes and parents who just don't seem capable of parenting.

So, I too, offer as much human kindness as is possible, if and when it is appropriate, so don't get off on broad brushing me as uncaring, I am not.

I also feel that school and teachers are not the appropriate place to offer concern for those I described as 'feral' children, in the same way I do not feel public schools should attempt to instruct children with less than full mental competence; it destroys the ability of the schools to serve those who can learn. But then, you know my overall opinion of government funded education, it should be totally abolished.

There are a lot of things about this world that I do not admire and some I do not know how to solve and by 'solve', I mean while retaining the concept of individual values, rights and liberties and not some communal hive mentality that seems to be currently popular.

And if you want to know how the Communists in Russia and the current ones in China, North Korea and Vietnam treat children, do the research...it ain't pretty.

Amicus

 

[SweetWitch]

Thank you - and what marvelous grandparents.

Children need advocates. And love and support.

Grandma was just that way. When her children were young, she was the local schoolmarm. The school had several rooms, but educated all ages, so she had several grades at once in her class. All her children learned--the ones she gave birth to and the ones entrusted to her.

She'd do anything for a kid. And I know many others who are the same way. Sometimes the foster kids act out, but that's the only way they have of taking control of their worlds. The key, Gran always believed, was directing that energy. She would direct it at Gramps who would work the child out there on the farm until they nearly dropped. Then Gran would fill them up on great food, hug the stuffings out of them and send them to bed.

The next day was always time for fishing.

 

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[DesertPirate]

They looked like they were in shock. I hope the foster family is good. I hope they find some stability and hope.

So do I. I know you will help with the music part. If they are in your class you will help with much more than that. *Hugs*

 

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[SweetWitch]

Nice.

Like I said, he was tough, but fair. The work was hard, but the fun was all the sweeter for it.

Having been subjected to his discipline before, I can tell you it's not much fun cutting briars out of fence rows from sun up to sun down, but it's a blast catching a 12 lb cat.

 

[R. Richard]

But I don't understand how foster care can toss kids once they reach 18 years old.

This is the CA system. However, most states are quite similar.

“Basically, they orphan you at the age of 18.” –
Alfred Perez, former foster youth.

“We have made them our children and just when
they need us the most, we abandon them.” – Social
worker

Each year, about 4,000 foster children “age out” of
the California foster care system. When most youth
turn 18 – the age of emancipation – the state no
longer pays for their care. This means no more
food, shelter, clothing, and supervision. Foster
parents have no obligation to house, feed, or guide
their former foster children.