Sub Club for females

[KinkE]

Hey all! 'New to the lifestyle' girl wants to have a place where I can meet other fem subs to get info, exchange ideas, swap stories, chat, explore the mind, etc..all in the name of support annd the expanding education through direct interaction with others who've personal experience. If there's one already, point me in that direction, and if not.... how about starting here? Though this could be actually all inclusive, I personally and specifically am interested in the female sub perspective.

 

[CutieMouse]

Hey all! 'New to the lifestyle' girl wants to have a place where I can meet other fem subs to get info, exchange ideas, swap stories, chat, explore the mind, etc..all in the name of support annd the expanding education through direct interaction with others who've personal experience. If there's one already, point me in that direction, and if not.... how about starting here? Though this could be actually all inclusive, I personally and specifically am interested in the female sub perspective.

You've found it - welcome to the BDSM forums.

Start threads as you like, join others as you like, realize you have no control over who posts what (meaning you'll just as likely get opinions/views from PYLs and pyls alike), take what applies to you, ignore the rest, yadayadayada.

PYL = Master/Dominant/Top/King of the Universe
pyl = slave/submissive/bottom/person of the not-the-one-in-charge-persuasion

 

[HisSexyPet]

I am new to this lifestyle also. I found great knowledge and insight in the Marks of the Slave thread started by Eastern Sun and added to by other great sub and dom types. It is where I got to know the regulars on this board and would highly recommend it to all newbies.

Edited to add the link for easier finding. http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?t=623345

 

[bakedbeams]

Welcome to the forums, there is a plethora of knowledge, and experience here.

 

[dear_prudence]

Hey all! 'New to the lifestyle' girl wants to have a place where I can meet other fem subs to get info, exchange ideas, swap stories, chat, explore the mind, etc..all in the name of support annd the expanding education through direct interaction with others who've personal experience. If there's one already, point me in that direction, and if not.... how about starting here? Though this could be actually all inclusive, I personally and specifically am interested in the female sub perspective.

waving hello .... new to this as well... thanks for breaking the ice

 

[KinkE]

Cutiemouse, bakedbeans,HisSexyPet, and Dear_Prudence,
I thank each one of you for the welcome and please know I appreciate your input.

There are so many questions floating in my head about it all, and I'm striving to meet all of my super hot, kinky sweet Masters needs while still maintaining balance with my 'outside life' hoping I can somehow mesh them both and come to find a comfortable & doable fit for all

Ive heard it said there's none such as dumb question, and I dare propose I might challange that with the ones I've got brewing in my head; so much infact, that I'm totally reluctant to ask them openly.

If any one of you experienced fem subs, would not mind my naive and perhaps incessant questions, please let me know.

I've only communicated with 3 people here, other than the standard p/u PMs, and am looking for fem sub(s) to show me the ropes so to speak.

PM me at your convenience and many thanks!

 

[CutieMouse]

Cutiemouse, bakedbeans,HisSexyPet, and Dear_Prudence,
I thank each one of you for the welcome and please know I appreciate your input.

There are so many questions floating in my head about it all, and I'm striving to meet all of my super hot, kinky sweet Masters needs while still maintaining balance with my 'outside life' hoping I can somehow mesh them both and come to find a comfortable & doable fit for all

Ive heard it said there's none such as dumb question, and I dare propose I might challange that with the ones I've got brewing in my head; so much infact, that I'm totally reluctant to ask them openly.

If any one of you experienced fem subs, would not mind my naive and perhaps incessant questions, please let me know.

I've only communicated with 3 people where, other than the standard p/u PMs, and am looking for fem sub(s) to show me the ropes so to speak.

PM me at your convenience and many thanks!

You're welcome to ask questions and I'd be happy to answer to the best of my knowledge [and opinion]; however, I would like to suggest that maintaining such conversations behind "closed doors" [PMs] robs yourself of multiple points of view/wisdom, and prevents others in similar situations from following and benefiting from the discussion.

 

[dear_prudence]

You're welcome to ask questions and I'd be happy to answer to the best of my knowledge [and opinion]; however, I would like to suggest that maintaining such conversations behind "closed doors" [PMs] robs yourself of multiple points of view/wisdom, and prevents others in similar situations from following and benefiting from the discussion.

being new as well, i also appreciate what others will say. not experience to offer, but i do have so much to learn.

 

[Etoile]

(wrong thread, sorry)

 

[bakedbeams]

Let us all learn from each other.

 

[KinkE]

Nothing to lose, Everything is gainf

I'm convinced, so here goes.....
I'm a 20+ student coming into this 2 wks ago. I know next to nothing about the lifestyle, except that I was born for it. It is my nature, sub IS me!
Here on lit, I was fortunate to be found by a man who is as amazingly gentle as he is rough. I am so totally hooked for the experience and the training he provides. It's the sexiest, kinkiest, naughtiest, hottest sex I've ever experienced, and it's only basics training? Fuck, my lust is insatiable. I gotta carry an extra set of panties in my book bag now, cuz he gets me that hot! Yeah, I coulda been a wee bit sheltered, but I do know hot sex from ordinary. At the same time, the daily reminders that it's Cyber and I must log in, (though he does control my "outside life") leaves me wondering if I'm only setting myself up. So, now I pose my inevitable questions.
1.How long was your longest relationship?
2.Shortest?
3.Is there such thing as relationship longevity in Cyberspace?
K, ya'll asked for it, so....talk to me!

 

[bakedbeams]

I am 45, like you if I was to define myself, I am a submissive. I was involved in a D/s (that later became M/s) relationship for 5 years, we lived together over that time. I later got married, which was my attempt at being vanilla, and I failed dismally

I actually went for a long time, avoiding relationships altogether. I did have a number of Friends with Benefits over the years... who generally described me as scarey in bed I met Sir about a year ago, and we have been together dating as a defined couple for the past 10 months. Sir is very exact with respect to his expecatations of me. He is a very gentle, loving, respectful person who is a firm disciplinarian. We enjoy what he calls 'sweet and sour' sex, mixing pleasurable with painful

I have not had a cyber relationship, so am not sure of the dynamics.

 

[KinkE]

Thank you for sharing

Bakedbeams!
Guess ya'll were right, had I not asked, you wouldnt have the chance to share.

I love the "sweet & sour"! I say that too!

If I may, some follow ups:
1.how'd you hook up with your Sir? 2.Where'd ya meet?
3. Difference between D/s vs M/s?

If I get to personal, please feel free to let me know.

 

[bakedbeams]

KinkE,

We too met online through a dating site. We had a few coffees, the usual thing got to know each other but we never discussed sex or BDSM or the like. We date, so see each other about twice a week, talk on the phone daily and often go away for the weekend. It was the first time he kissed me that I new He bit me so hard that my lips were bruised for days.

D/s is Dominante/submissive M/s is Master/slave

When I read your comment that you Master has control over your outside life, I thought to myself.. 'Oh that doesnt happen to me'. Then I sent a text to Sir telling him I was thinking about him. He gets annoyed if I dont keep in touch during the day... (am laughing at myself)

Sir describes me as metaphysically handcuffed to him. I would describe Sir as omnipresent.

 

[KinkE]

You are wonderful

I LOVE the story of how you met, the pain of the nipple bitting sounds excruciatingly delicious!

Re: the D/s vs M/s question. I apologize for not posing the question clearly. I'll try again.....What is the actual difference from one type relationship to the other? Is it a gradual growth, take it to the next level type difference? Or is it a personal preference, where His title is His option?

 

[Hisbeauty]

KinkE,

i might suggest the Distance Domination thread for you also. The people that post in that one are in long distance relationships, and some are strictly internet. That does not make them any less real or intense. That is how the relationship with Sir and me began...over the Net, but the two of us have spent real life time together.

Good luck!

 

[KinkE]

HisBeauty,

Thank you for the tip on the Distance Domination, I will look into it. I think it's wonderful that you and He met on the net and developed it further. Here's my thing, Im fairly young and had no intention of hooking up to begin with. Truth be told, I logged into Literotica to shop for my first sex toy, next thing I know, I'm signing up...now two weeks later..yeah.. I'm thinking Wow! I love my Master deeply, yes its only been 2wks but the time invested has been quite productive, and its not like a wifey love, or even lovers, it's somehow deeper, spiritual even. Perhaps Bakedbeams best describes it as Metaphysical. I'm not looking for a ball&chain kinda thing, though if in the long run it were to happen, Im sure I'd be happy, I just want an idea of what to expect. I get that we're all different, it's just this is my first Cyber experience so Im wanting to see if what I feel is a high from being released from all the sexual inhibitions, a high from being someone's Shiny New Toy, or cuz I finally found my Self?

 

[HisSexyPet]

KinkE,
B and I met in an online video game. We cybered, then had phone sex and after a year he came to visit. After 4 visits in a year and a half, all vanilla sex sprinkled with a little kink, we broke up. It didn't work. After two months of complete silence He came back into my life as "best friends".

Almost a year later I was reading the stories on Lit and by chance clicked on the boards. Signed up, became involved with an online master. With B being my best friend I told him all about it. A few weeks later when I was whining about some daily strife He blew up. He wanted to know why my online master got all the good stuff and I came to him with the shit. He wanted the good stuff as well. We talked through the night, our night of discovery. We had known each other for three years but never revealed our secret selves. I totally submitted to Him. We are long distance but close enough for visits.

So in summary, 3 year vanilla relationship that is six weeks into M/s.
Difference between D/s and M/s - for me the main difference is in D/s there are safewords...in M/s I have totally given all rights to Him, nothing is held back therefore safewords are not needed. I know others will have different opinions as there is no concise definition for these and everyone's views are different.
Shortest online relationship was a month with the Dom here. Was very intense, but was going in a direction that I started getting uncomfortable with right when B claimed me as his. So I know what you mean about wanting to know if this was "a high from being someone's Shiny New Toy, or cuz I finally found my Self". In my case it was both. Now that you have found your Self, you can freely share it with Him.

Wow, I got long winded there...sorry if it is too much, but I don't know what to cut out.

 

[bakedbeams]

In my mind, KinkE is all three. Partly recognising your own self, partly being accepted as your whole self, and partly that you have become prized.

I know for me, its the release I've found in being loved for me. In not having to pretend that I am anything other than myself. Its finding someone who actually acknowledges that I want to and need to serve them. That by serving I am expressing my love and myself.

Its the trust I hand to him every time we are together. Its the knowledge that he takes that trust and treasures it. I know that when he does his 'sweet and sour' he feels my heartbeat, he watches my body, he listens to my breathing and stretches me and takes me to places I have never been. At times he stops, and later when we talk about the experience he will often say that he knew my body could take no more.

I feel secure in knowing what he expects of me. It is like a rock that I can move forth from, the knowledge is solid. I am secure knowing that if I have upset him, there are no mind games, rather he will say what I have done. He may choose to punish me then or later, but I know that then its gone, its over.

I love when he tells me what he wants me to wear, and all the other little things he insists I do. The things that make him happy. His requests let me feel secure. A friend who has known me for a very long time said that watching us together reminded her of the 'Taming of the Shrew'. She says that it is apparent that my head is under his foot, that I trust he will not push down and hurt me, that I give everything he asks of me because I know he will never ask for more than I can give.

I hope that makes some sense.

 

[HisSexyPet]

Wow bakedbeams, you said that beautifully. It is exactly how I feel, but I never could put it that well. It makes perfect sense.

 

[bakedbeams]

Wow bakedbeams, you said that beautifully. It is exactly how I feel, but I never could put it that well. It makes perfect sense.

Thank you, that means alot.

 

[CutieMouse]

<snippage>
At the same time, the daily reminders that it's Cyber and I must log in, (though he does control my "outside life") leaves me wondering if I'm only setting myself up. So, now I pose my inevitable questions.

"Setting yourself up" kinda depends on what your expectations are. (and his)

1.How long was your longest relationship?
2.Shortest?
3.Is there such thing as relationship longevity in Cyberspace?
K, ya'll asked for it, so....talk to me!

1.) Arguably, almost 5 years (it didn't end well)
2.) 2 weeks (it was a fling)
3.)Yes.

If I may, some follow ups:
1.how'd you hook up with your Sir?
2.Where'd ya meet?
3. Difference between D/s vs M/s?

If I get to personal, please feel free to let me know.

1.) The 5 year thing started through email friendship here at Lit; the fling through an ad at CollarMe; the currently evolving whateverthehellitis was answering a non-kinky personals ad on CraigsList of all places. LOL
2.) See # 1.
3.) I'll answer in the next bit

Re: the D/s vs M/s question. I apologize for not posing the question clearly. I'll try again.....What is the actual difference from one type relationship to the other? Is it a gradual growth, take it to the next level type difference? Or is it a personal preference, where His title is His option?

Everyone defines their relationships in the manner which fits their needs. You might have two couples, both of whom have relationships with the exact same parameters, yet one couple will describe themselves as Dominant & submissive, and the other Master & slave. (This is where the PYL/pyl thing comes in handy. ) Some start at level X; some evolve.

As to titles - meh. The odds that you'll ever hear me call a lover anything other than their name, or Dear/Darling/Sweetheart are a million to one, but it doesn't change the fact that my relationships are what they are.

Thank you for the tip on the Distance Domination, I will look into it. I think it's wonderful that you and He met on the net and developed it further. Here's my thing, Im fairly young and had no intention of hooking up to begin with. Truth be told, I logged into Literotica to shop for my first sex toy, next thing I know, I'm signing up...now two weeks later..yeah.. I'm thinking Wow! I love my Master deeply, yes its only been 2wks but the time invested has been quite productive, and its not like a wifey love, or even lovers, it's somehow deeper, spiritual even. Perhaps Bakedbeams best describes it as Metaphysical. I'm not looking for a ball&chain kinda thing, though if in the long run it were to happen, Im sure I'd be happy, I just want an idea of what to expect. I get that we're all different, it's just this is my first Cyber experience so Im wanting to see if what I feel is a high from being released from all the sexual inhibitions, a high from being someone's Shiny New Toy, or cuz I finally found my Self?

NRE [New Relationship Energy], sprinkled with a heavy dose of "holy ****!" And the jaded older woman in me is cringing and going sweetie... two weeks. Online. And you're 20 and all the HNGs out there who can talk a good game... And you're throwing around the "L" word?

It's cyber. Cyber can grow into something wonderful and long-lasting if you want it to, it can be an excellent medium to test the waters and see how it feels (although IMO it's *nothing* like face to face), but at the end of the day it's words on the computer. Don't get me wrong - there are friendships at Lit that I consider just as "real" as those I have here in my hometown, and I've had some particularly interesting [ahem] conversations by PM here that have resulted in "tasks" and such, but my unsolicited advice is to educate yourself, empower yourself, and find someone you can have a relationship with, offline.

 

[ecstaticsub]

Hi and welcome

I will repeat the recommendation to check out the Distance Domination thread. It is my most frequently visited thread.

The really short story on me is I am in my mid-40's, very happily married to my high school sweetheart in a vanilla marriage with a few kinks. We are extremely open and honest with each other.

I am also in a LDR D/s relationship with a man I met on a wife-sharing site. We have been together for more than 4 yrs now. It is my first and only D/s relationship. Hopefully it will last forever. But it isn't easy--emotionally and logistically. We see each other at least twice a year sometimes squeezing in little visits here and there.

As far as the difference between M/s and D/s I consider my relationship D/s because in my opinion for it to be M/s I would have to put him first all the time. I am married, I have children, I have a job all these things have to come before his needs. He also is married with children and a business that all come before me.

However, we don't have safewords anymore. After all this time we know each other well enough that he wouldn't ask me to do something I would have been conflicted about agreeing to. Especially when we are together he knows I am His. I consider myself his property.

I also consider our relationship 24/7 because his rules apply ALL the time, not just when we areon the phone or on-line together. I am mindful off his wishes with everything I do during the day.

So that's me

 

[YourCaptor]

Hope a male dom is welcome in the club.

If you stick to the BDSM section on the lit forum you will learn a lot. It's a bit of a safe haven here, say whatever you want and chances are several people will pop up with words of wisdom. Best kept secret on the web.

Also google fetlife, you can search your location on it and I think you will find you've got many friendlys down there.

 

[KinkE]

Male perspective is very welcome

I again must say how wonderful its been to read all your posts. I am grateful for every bit of it!
As far as my being fairly young and already mentioning the L word.... I gotta admit I love LOVE and I love people! I do, I say spread all over the world! In many ways, I believe it contributes to my need and desire to be his s, and I love him dearly. He is nurturing, giving, caring, andsuch a patient teacher. How could I not love him? I actually do not have expectations for us, some lustful starry eyed dream of meeting face to face oneday, growing our relationship even more, and I don't have them because I don't know where this is going, which brings me back to this very thread, where I ask from you who are experienced to share with me your knowledge, your stories, your ups and your downs. See, here it goes again, I you all for taking time, for opening up, receiving me with support and showing me what you know.

Please keep posting.... I am so very anxious to learn!