mastubation

[tribalwomon]

I'm been in a long distance relationship with another lesbian... she is a tomboy..living in Nebraska. we are both, healing from our EX's...hers about to get married to another womon, mine died in January, from Breast Cancer. We are taking it slow.... I have told her everything about myself.... my being a perv...She thinks it funny...that I may look butch but am femme...she is cool about that...In fact she accepts me as I am....Love that about her...But last night, she told me mastubation is cheating.... once we are together.. NO MASTUBATION...Just don't know what to do...I will have to figure another way to release those energies...I'm falling in love with her..and just want to please her... So do others see it as cheating????

 

[Programmer Cat]

I don't see it as cheating, and I would not willingly get involved with anybody who did. In fact, if I was involved with a partner who insisted that I not masturbate, I would assume that he/she is a control freak and get out of that relationship.

 

[Bystander]

You're setting yourself up for frustration, especially if you masturbate a lot already. If you can't do it, its not good, and if you do it secretly you'll likely feel bad about it. Seriously, I don't get what kind of person would consider masturbation cheating. I also don't see why she's the only one who gets to set a make or break clause. Relationships are about compromises. Talk it out. If she still doesn't relent or accepts some compromise then ditch.

 

[Vail_Indigo]

To me, thats a sign of a controlling personality, as has been noted.
More, and I've seen this in endless numbers of women, its a confusion and maybe outright disgust with the female body and sexuality.
To me, masturbation is a personal thing, a private thing. Sometimes you share it with others, sometimes not. But it is 100% yours.
I think that, in any relationship, there are lines we draw.
Are you willing to give her complete control over your body?

 

[A_Kefka]

I don't see how its cheating, since you aren't seeing anyone else. I could see it being a problem, but thats only if you do it so much that you aren't interested in sex with your partner.

 

[Etoile]

Wow...that's kind of insane. She thinks it's cheating? I mean, if she doesn't want you to masturbate so you'll save your sexual energies FOR HER that's one thing...she wants to play with orgasm control, which is part of many bdsm relationships. But because it's cheating? What is with THAT? Sounds crazy if you ask me.

 

[swampydonkey]

I can't but masturbate. I don't know why i love this thing so much. Though i have enjoyed many girls on bed but i still love doing masturbation by myself. it gives me real pleasure of sex.

 

[Etoile]

Wow. Here's somebody else who didn't like her partner to masturbate:
Do Not Cheat on Rachel Ferrara, Even with Yourself

 

[Safe_Bet]

Wow. Here's somebody else who didn't like her partner to masturbate:
Do Not Cheat on Rachel Ferrara, Even with Yourself

Well, it sounded like a bit more than that, if he was having a webcam mutual mastrubation session with sumbody. That said, the chick was wacked.

This subject interested me cuz I often masturbate. I called Amy and asked her if it bothers her and her response was that what bothered her was that she wasn't there to help, but if she couldn't be there "Staying horny for no reason is stupid!"

 

[LoneEagle]

Wow. I guess at first blush, I have never seen masturbation as cheating, especially if you fantasize about your partner when doing it. If you are doing it only to vision or another person, then that raises a different point, perhaps as was mentioned by Etoile, but I wouldn't describe it as cheating.

Could you speak with her again to explore the boundaries in your relationship, and perhaps get more clarification from her? I would find it extremely frustrating not to be able to masturbate when I am long away from my partner, and I would be upset if my partner set a "no masturbation" limit on me.

 

[Hornysailor61]

Should chatting on line, with a guy or another women, who are strangers and the chances of meeting are slim to none, about sex, be considered cheating.

 

[Etoile]

Should chatting on line, with a guy or another women, about sex be considered cheating.

Depends entirely on intent. I talk about sex on here all the time and my wife doesn't care. It's all philosophical. Cybersex, though, she would consider cheating. So it depends.