H.L. Mencken

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Byron In Exile

Frederick Fucking Chopin
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Baltimore, April 13, 1945

The Sun editorial on Roosevelt this morning begins: "Franklin D. Roosevelt was a great man." There are heavy black dashes above and below it. The argument, in brief, is that all his skullduggeries and imbecilities were wiped out when "he took an inert and profoundly isolationist people and brought them to support a necessary war on a scale never before imagined." In other words, his greatest fraud was his greatest glory, and sufficient excuse for all his other frauds. It is astonishing how far the Sun has gone in this nonsense. When the English fetched Patterson and John Owens they certainly did an all-out job. I know of no paper in the United States, not even the New York Herald Tribune, that croons for them more assiduously.

Roosevelt's unparallelled luck held out to the end. He died an easy death, and he did so just in time to escape burying his own dead horse. This business now falls to Truman, a third-rate Middle Western politician on the order of Harding. He is fundamentally against the New Deal wizards, and he will probably make an earnest effort to turn them out of power, but I have some doubt that he will succeed. They have dug in deeply and they may be expected to fight to the bitter end, for once they are out they will be nothing and they know it. The case of La Eleanor is not without its humors. Only yesterday she was the most influential female ever recorded in American history, but tomorrow she will begin to fade, and by this time next year she may be wholly out of the picture. I wonder how many newspapers will go on printing her "My Day." Probably not many.

It seems to me to be very likely that Roosevelt will take a high place in American popular history -- maybe even alongside Washington and Lincoln. It will be to the interest of all his heirs and assigns to whoop him up, and they will probably succeed in swamping his critics. If the war drags on it is possible, of course, that there may be a reaction against him, and there may be another and worse after war is over at last, but the chances, I think, run the other way. He had every quality that morons esteem in their heroes. Thus a demigod seems to be in the making, and in a little while we may see a grandiose memorial under way in Washington, comparable to those to Washington, Jefferson, and Lincoln. In it, I suppose, Eleanor will have a niche, but probably not a conspicuous one. The majority of Americans, I believe, distrust and dislike her, and all her glories have been only reflections from Franklin.

The Baltimore Hearst paper, the News-Post, handled the great news with typical cynicism. Hearst is one of the most violent enemies of Roosevelt, and all his papers have been reviling the New Deal, and even propagating doubts about the war. But the whole first page of the News-Post is given over this afternoon to a large portrait of Roosevelt flanked by two flags in color and headed "Nation Mourns." The editorial page is filled with an editorial saying, among other things, "The work and name of Franklin Delano Roosevelt will live on, not only today or tomorrow, but in all the annals of recorded time." This, as I have noted, is probably a fact, but it is certainly not a fact that tickles Hearst. He is, however, an expert in mob psychology, and does not expect much. The Sun is in far less rational position. It certifies to Roosevelt's greatness in all seriousness.
 
Jesus H. Christ. :rolleyes:

You people never let go of your hate, do you?

Oh, and answer my questions in the other thread.
 
Jesus H. Christ. :rolleyes:

You people never let go of your hate, do you?

Oh, and answer my questions in the other thread.
I will. Very good questions, by the way.

For now, though, I prefer to be bitter, and to cling to my guns and to my religion, and to antipathy toward people who aren't like me.
 
ROB

We never release our disdain for you, and spread it around so you dont feel so lonesome and kill some innocent person if you leaped from a tall building.
 
ROB

We never release our disdain for you, and spread it around so you dont feel so lonesome and kill some innocent person if you leaped from a tall building.
Rob seems reasonable to me, although I admit I don't read as much of the AH as I do of the GB.

Here, it seems there is a lot under the surface, whereas on the GB, it's all up-front.

I will say that of all the persons of letters that I admire, and that is a very broad field, I would rank George Orwell first, and H.L. Mencken second.
 
Baltimore, April 15, 1945

All the saloons and major restaurants of Baltimore were closed last night as a mark of respect to the dead Roosevelt, whose body passed through the city at midnight. It was silly, but it gave a lot of Dogberries a chance to annoy their betters, and so it was ordained. As a result, the Saturday Night Club missed its usual post-music beer-party for the first time in forty years. All during Prohibition the club found accommodations in the homes of its members, but last night no member was prepared, so the usual programme had to be abandoned. August and I came home, had a couple of high-balls, and then went to bed.

Roosevelt, if he had lived, would probably have been unbeatable, despite the inevitable reaction against the war. He was so expert a demagogue that it would have been easy for him to divert the popular discontent to some other object. He could have been beaten only by a demagogue even worse than he was himself, and his opponents showed no sign of being able to flush out such a marvel. The best they could produce was such timorous compromisers as Willkie and Dewey, who were as impotent before Roosevelt as sheep before Behemoth. When the call was for a headlong attack they backed and filled. It thus became impossible, at the close of their campaigns, to distinguish them from mild New Dealers -- in other words, inferior Roosevelts. He was always a mile ahead of them, finding new victims to loot and new followers to reward, flouting common sense and boldly denying its existence, demonstrating by his anti-logic that two and two made five, promising larger and larger slices of the moon. His career will greatly engage historians, if any good ones ever appear in America, but it will be of even more interest to psychologists. He was the first American to penetrate to the real depths of vulgar stupidity. He never made the mistake of overestimating the intelligence of the American mob. He was its unparallelled professor.
 
FDR was the architect of the largest expansion of government involvement in the average Americans life in US history...his 'alphabet soup' programs brought momentary relief to the jobless with government jobs, but the over regulation of the private sector economy delayed economic recovery until the 'Arsenal of Democracy' cranked up at the beginning of the US's entry into WWII.

LBJ and Nixon combined to usher in further expansion of governmental intrusion with the 'War on Poverty', the Vietnam War and more 'alphabet soup' departments attempting to micromanage every aspect of American commerce and life.

Now another quantum leap in meddling is rapidly occuring under BHO, only this time the American economy is ill equipped to finance and absorb it. China holds more US Treasury IOU's than any other country. It will be interesting to see what occurs when they come due.

"Those who do not learn from the past are condemned to repeat it."
 
*sigh* another name on my ignore list.

"Authors' Hangout;" does that sound like right-vs-left forum to anyone? The reason, Byron, that "there's a lot under the surface" here is that politics is not what we actually came here for-- none of us. Right or left, we were writers and readers first.

And still are.

Take this crap back to GB, that's what it's there for.
 
Rob seems reasonable to me, although I admit I don't read as much of the AH as I do of the GB.

Here, it seems there is a lot under the surface, whereas on the GB, it's all up-front.

I will say that of all the persons of letters that I admire, and that is a very broad field, I would rank George Orwell first, and H.L. Mencken second.

ROB is like the punks gangs use to start fights and serve as 'point man'. And the best way to deal with punks is to sucker punch them before they start their shit and their friends come along to save them. When ROB shows his face the first thing he see's should be a ham headed for his nose.

We agree on Mencken. Richard Feynman and Francois LaRouchefoucauld kick Orwell's ass when it comes to manly thinking. But I admired Orwell when I was 18.
 
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*sigh* another name on my ignore list.

"Authors' Hangout;" does that sound like right-vs-left forum to anyone? The reason, Byron, that "there's a lot under the surface" here is that politics is not what we actually came here for-- none of us. Right or left, we were writers and readers first.

And still are.

Take this crap back to GB, that's what it's there for.
Bye.

The right on the GB chastised me for quoting Orwell during the Bush years, just as you do now because I quote Mencken.

Put all the most brilliant writers civilization has to offer on ignore because they offend your sensibilities.

I'm not leaving. You are.
 
STELLA has control issues. She's also the Darth Vader of the GLBT Empire out to colonize other boards.
 
*sigh* another name on my ignore list.

"Authors' Hangout;" does that sound like right-vs-left forum to anyone? The reason, Byron, that "there's a lot under the surface" here is that politics is not what we actually came here for-- none of us. Right or left, we were writers and readers first.

And still are.

Take this crap back to GB, that's what it's there for.

Bye.

The right on the GB chastised me for quoting Orwell during the Bush years, just as you do now because I quote Mencken.

Put all the most brilliant writers civilization has to offer on ignore because they offend your sensibilities.

I'm not leaving. You are.

You're one of the "most brilliant writers civilization has to offer"? REALLY???? I don't see any stories posted or linked. Did I just miss them?

Which begs the question: Why are you posting GB stuff in the AH in the first place? Or post here at all, for that matter... Are you planning on writing anything? Are you asking for assistance or guidance? Or is this just some rather odd socializing with people with people whose writing you admire?

Post some links to your writing "Mr. Brilliant Writer" and you might have some creds, but till you do, you are in the same sorry assed boat that JBJ is with his lame BS. :rolleyes:

... Oh, and have a nice day, dude! :)
 
ROB is like the punks gangs use to start fights and serve as 'point man'. And the best way to deal with punks is to sucker punch them before they start their shit and their friends come along to save them. When ROB shows his face the first thing he see's should be a ham headed for his nose.
Okay, again, there seems to be a bit of back-history here that I don't know about. In the meantime, I'll have to just deal with what people say as they say it.

Obviously that's putting some people out...

We agree on Mencken. Richard Feynman and Francois LaRouchefoucauld kick Orwell's ass when it comes to manly thinking. But I admired Orwell when I was 18.
I'm glad we agree about Mencken. But I don't agree that any author kicked Orwell's ass, ever.

Exceptional authors are those who fix their sextants to the brightest stars.
 
BYRON

Exactly.

I doubt that 2% of the country gives a fat rat's ass about gay or who anyone sleeps with, but the club is filled with people like STELLA. Gay is a life style like membership in the SS was an alternative life style.
 
You're one of the "most brilliant writers civilization has to offer"? REALLY???? I don't see any stories posted or linked. Did I just miss them?
No, you just didn't read very carefully. I was referring to H.L. Mencken.

Which begs the question: Why are you posting GB stuff in the AH in the first place? Or post here at all, for that matter... Are you planning on writing anything? Are you asking for assistance or guidance? Or is this just some rather odd socializing with people with people whose writing you admire?

Post some links to your writing "Mr. Brilliant Writer" and you might have some creds, but till you do, you are in the same sorry assed boat that JBJ is with his lame BS. :rolleyes:

... Oh, and have a nice day, dude! :)
You, too, "Safe_Bet"!

Have a nice life being stupid.
 
You're one of the "most brilliant writers civilization has to offer"? REALLY???? I don't see any stories posted or linked. Did I just miss them?

Which begs the question: Why are you posting GB stuff in the AH in the first place? Or post here at all, for that matter... Are you planning on writing anything? Are you asking for assistance or guidance? Or is this just some rather odd socializing with people with people whose writing you admire?

Post some links to your writing "Mr. Brilliant Writer" and you might have some creds, but till you do, you are in the same sorry assed boat that JBJ is with his lame BS. :rolleyes:

... Oh, and have a nice day, dude! :)

SHE HAS CONTROL ISSUES, TOO. IN FACT I SUSPECT SHE'S FIGHTING AN ERUPTION OF HETEROSEXUALITY. SHE ACTS LIKE THE BAPTIST PREACHER JUST BEFORE HE RUNS OFF WITH THE ORGANIST AND THE CHRISTMAS COLLECTION PLATE.
 
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JBJ is our foremost purveyor of monkey poop. Almost everyone here has him on ignore.

He won't move to GB because he knows he'd lose like a loser in any poop-throwing battles he began.

I expect that many more GB types who are too wimpy to be there, will want to be here instead.

Lit needs to create a "GB lite" forum for the vindictive but puny types.
 
JBJ is our foremost purveyor of monkey poop. Almost everyone here has him on ignore.

He won't move to GB because he knows he'd lose like a loser in any poop-throwing battles he began.

I expect that many more GB types who are too wimpy to be there, will want to be here instead.

Lit needs to create a "GB lite" forum for the vindictive but puny types.
To be honest?

Most of the posters here would not survive on the GB. It's far too harsh for them, you especially. Your sensibilities are too fragile.

As for "losing" and "winning," what grade of elementary school are you in?

I see both sides making cogent points here, without the accustomed GB noise.

But you want to cut off the dialogue, because the result doesn't suit you?

Please, put me on ignore. You're a waste of my time.
 
A bit of Mencken

It might be noted that he was free of jingoism and patriotic emissions, like the current breed of neocons, randists, and survivalists.

On Being an American

from Prejudices, Third Series (1922)
by H.L. Mencken
________________________________________
[First 48 pages in original missing. This is page 57, till the end on page 65]

4
All the while I have been forgetting the third of my reasons for remaining so faithful a citizen of the Federation [I.E. US], despite all the lascivious inducements from expatriates to follow them beyond the seas, and all the surly suggestions from patriots that I succumb. It is the reason which grows out of my mediaeval but unashamed taste for the bizarre and indelicate, my congenital weakness for comedy of the grosser varieties.

The United States, to my eye, is incomparably the greatest show on earth. It is a show which avoids diligently all the kinds of clowning which tire me most quickly - for example, royal ceremonials, the tedious hocus-pocus of haut politique, the taking of politics seriously - and lays chief stress upon the kinds which delight me unceasingly - for example, the ribald combats of demagogues, the exquisitely ingenious operations of master rogues, the pursuit of witches and heretics, the desperate struggles of inferior men to claw their way into Heaven.

We have clowns in constant practice among us who are as far above the clowns of any other great state as a Jack Dempsey is above a paralytic - and not a few dozen or score of them, but whole droves and herds. Human enterprises which, in all other Christian countries, are resigned despairingly to an incurable dullness - things that seem devoid of exhilirating amusement, by their very nature - are here lifted to such vast heights of buffoonery that contemplating them strains the midriff almost to breaking.

I cite an example: the worship of God. Everywhere else on earth it is carried on in a solemn and dispiriting manner; in England, of course, the bishops are obscene, but the average man seldom gets a fair chance to laugh at them and enjoy them. Now come home. Here we not only have bishops who are enormously more obscene than even the most gifted of the English bishops; we have also a huge force of lesser specialists in ecclesiastical mountebankery - tin-horn Loyolas, Savonarolas and Xaviers of a hundred fantastic rites, each performing untiringly and each full of a grotesque and illimitable whimsicality. Every American town, however small, has one of its own: a holy clerk with so fine a talent for introducing the arts of jazz into the salvation of the damned that his performance takes on all the gaudiness of a four-ring circus, and the bald announcement that he will raid Hell on such and such a night is enough to empty all the town blind-pigs and bordellos and pack his sanctuary to the doors. And to aid him and inspire him there are travelling experts to whom he stands in the relation of a wart to the Matterhorn - stupendous masters of theological imbecility, contrivers of doctrines utterly preposterous, heirs to the Joseph Smith, Mother Eddy and John Alexander Dowie tradition - Bryan, Sunday, and their like. These are the eminences of the American Sacred College. I delight in them. Their proceedings make me a happier American.


Turn, now, to politics. Consider, for example, a campaign for the Presidency. Would it be possible to imagine anything more uproariously idiotic - a deafening, nerve-wracking battle to the death between Tweedledum and Tweedledee, Harlequin and Sganarelle, Gobbo and Dr. Cook - the unspeakable, with fearful snorts, gradually swallowing the inconceivable? I defy any one to match it elsewhere on this earth. In other lands, at worst, there are at least intelligible issues, coherent ideas, salient personalities. Somebody says something, and somebody replies. But what did Harding say in 1920, and what did Cox reply? Who was Harding, anyhow, and who was Cox? Here, having perfected democracy, we lift the whole combat to symbolism, to transcendentalism, to metaphysics. Here we load a pair of palpably tin cannon with blank cartridges charged with talcum power, and so let fly. Here one may howl over the show without any uneasy reminder that it is serious, and that some one may be hurt. I hold that this elevation of politics to the plane of undiluted comedy is peculiarly American, that no-where else on this disreputable ball has the art of the sham-battle been developed to such fineness...

... Here politics is purged of all menace, all sinister quality, all genuine significance, and stuffed with such gorgeous humors, such inordinate farce that one comes to the end of a campaign with one's ribs loose, and ready for "King Lear," or a hanging, or a course of medical journals.

But feeling better for the laugh. Ridi si sapis, said Martial. Mirth is necessary to wisdom, to comfort, above all to happiness. Well, here is the land of mirth, as Germany is the land of metaphysics and France is the land of fornication. Here the buffoonery never stops. What could be more delightful than the endless struggle of the Puritan to make the joy of the minority unlawful and impossible? The effort is itself a greater joy to one standing on the side-lines than any or all of the carnal joys it combats.

Always, when I contemplate an uplifter at his hopeless business, I recall a scene in an old- time burlesque show, witnessed for hire in my days as a dramatic critic. A chorus girl executed a fall upon the stage, and Rudolph Krausemeyer, the Swiss comdeian, rushed to her aid. As he stooped painfully to succor her, Irving Rabinovitz, the Zionist comedian, fetched him a fearful clout across the cofferdam with a slap-stick.

So the uplifter, the soul-saver, the Americanizer, striving to make the Republic fit for Y.M.C.A. secretaries. He is the eternal American, ever moved by the best of intentions, ever running a la Krausemeyer to the rescue of virtue, and ever getting his pantaloons fanned by the Devil. I am naturally sinful, and such spectacles caress me. If the slap-stick were a sash-weight, the show would be cruel, and I'd probably complain to the Polizei. As it is, I know that the uplifter is not really hurt, but simply shocked. The blow, in fact, does him good, for it helps get him into Heaven, as exegetes prove from Matthew v, 11: Hereux serez-vous, lorsqu'on vous outragera, qu'on vous persecutera, and so on.

As for me, it makes me a more contented man, and hence a better citizen. One man prefers the Republic because it pays better wages than Bulgaria. Another because it has laws to keep him sober and his daughter chaste. Another because the Woolworth Building is higher than the cathedral at Chartres. Another because, living here, he can read the New York Evening Journal. Another because there is a warrant out for him somewhere else. Me, I like it because it amuses me to my taste. I never get tired of the show. It is worth every cent it costs.

That cost, it seems to me is very moderate. Taxes in the United States are not actually high. I figure, for example, that my private share of the expense of maintaining the Hon. Mr. Harding in the White House this year will work out to less than 80 cents. Try to think of better sport for the money: in New York it has been estimated that it costs $8 to get comfortably tight, and $17.50, on an average, to pinch a girl's arm. The United States Senate will cost me perhaps $11 for the year, but against that expense set the subscription price of the Congressional Record, about $15, which, as a journalist, I receive for nothing. For $4 less than nothing I am thus entertained as Solomon never was by his hooch dancers. Col. George Brinton McClellan Harvey costs me but 25 cents a year; I get Nicholas Murray Butler free.

Finally, there is young Teddy Roosevelt, the naval expert. Teddy costs me, as I work it out, about 11 cents a year, or less than a cent a month. More, he entertains me doubly for the money, first as a naval expert, and secondly as a walking attentat upon democracy, a devastating proof that there is nothing, after all, in that superstition. We Americans subscribe to the doctrine of human equality - and the Rooseveltii reduce it to an absurdity as brilliantly as the sons of Veit Bach. Where is your equal opportunity now? Here in this Eden of clowns, with the highest rewards of clowning theoretically open to every poor boy - here in the very citadel of democracy we found and cherish a clown dynasty!
 
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