Spotlight on...SweetErika

[unregistered]

 

[silverwhisper]

j, i'm glad you chose to focus the spotlight on erika--great choice! :>

erika, i want to add my thanks as well. you're a tremendous asset to how to and it would be a much less helpful place without your intelligence or kindness. :>



and now, my own questions (that j didn't already borrow )...

1. what is your favorite word?
2. what is your least favorite word?
3. what turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
4. what turns you off?
5. what is your favorite curse word?
6. what sound or noise do you love?
7. what sound or noise do you hate?
8. what profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. what profession would you not like to do?
10. if heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

ed

 

[bailadora]

Heh, where to start with the questions......

What is your preferred method of winding down?
Is there a particular genre of music or books that you favor?
To date, where's the best spot you've vacationed/visited?
If you could have one super power, what would it be and why? (For some reason, I really like this question. )
What is your biggest pet peeve?

I'm sure I'll think of more later, but that's what readily comes to mind.

 

[midwestyankee]

j, i'm glad you chose to focus the spotlight on erika--great choice! :>

erika, i want to add my thanks as well. you're a tremendous asset to how to and it would be a much less helpful place without your intelligence or kindness. :>



and now, my own questions (that j didn't already borrow )...

1. what is your favorite word?
2. what is your least favorite word?
3. what turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]?
4. what turns you off?
5. what is your favorite curse word?
6. what sound or noise do you love?
7. what sound or noise do you hate?
8. what profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
9. what profession would you not like to do?
10. if heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the pearly gates?

ed

Hmmmm....rather a familiar-looking list there, old man. But an excellent one, nonetheless. Indebted a bit to Bernard Pivot, aren't we?

 

[Eilan]

Have you looked into becoming a sex-positive, kink-friendly therapist?

 

[silverwhisper]

yank, what a pleasant surprise! i'm rather taken with the list, to be honest, and have regularly been throwing it out there more than one of my other online haunts. :>

ed

 

[midwestyankee]

Erika, what's your first piece of advice for someone who is new to the bdsm scene?

 

[VelvetDarkness]

Have you looked into becoming a sex-positive, kink-friendly therapist?

Or the founding member of BDSM/Psychosexuality Mensa?

 

[SweetErika]

Erika is one of the most articulate, thorough, and thoughtful posters I've read. She was the first to respond to my initial thread and her advice was spot on. I know that I'm very appreciative of her efforts on this site and it is clear that many others are as well. So, thanks to Erika.

You're gonna make me cry!

Now, since she can apparently answer any question, I've decided to open the thread with the question Quoll and I both dodged (originally posted by Ed):

If you had to make one book--and only one book--mandatory reading for everyone in the world, what would it be?

I can't answer that one. I've read a lot, but not anywhere near enough to think of something everyone should read.

However, my first instinct would be to choose a book with important lessons in it. Maybe a children's book that's applicable and appealing to nearly everyone, a book of parables, or something that showed the importance of education, tolerance, kindness, communication, etc.

I'm sure Eilan will be able to answer this question!

1. what is your favorite word?
While I don't have a solid idea, "love" and "snuggle" would probably be near the top of the list. I do find the "most beautiful sounding words, independent of meaning" lists to be terribly interesting, though.

2. what is your least favorite word?
Maybe "rape" or "torture." At least those are words that evoke a very strong, visceral, negative reaction for me.

3. what turns you on [creatively, spiritually or emotionally]? Intelligence, understanding and generosity.

4. what turns you off?
Ignorance, anger, a lot of sensory experiences...well, there's a laundry list of things that can flip my switch off.

5. what is your favorite curse word?
Probably "fuck" and its variants.

6. what sound or noise do you love?
Laughter; especially odd laughs and children laughing.

7. what sound or noise do you hate?
Anything man-made that's loud. I'm generally a quiet person, and I usually find everything from loud talking and music to machinery irritating.

8. what profession other than your own would you like to attempt?
My next one will almost certainly be in social services, but if I could bring myself to get through the extra school and training, I'd likely be a doctor or judge.

9. what profession would you not like to do?
Anything that involves filth, manual labor or deals with something I didn't agree with. For instance, I'd have trouble working for a lot of utility and health insurance companies because I feel most of them put profit far ahead of integrity.

Basically, if I can't be really good at it, enjoy it and/or I feel it's unethical, I won't do it voluntarily.

10. if heaven exists, what would you like to hear god say when you arrive at the pearly gates?
"You did the best you could, that was enough, and your life had a net positive impact on the world."

 

[silverwhisper]

erika, you've mentioned in the past that you are in a somewhat open marriage. if you don't mind my asking, how did you that come to be?

ed

 

[SweetErika]

What is your preferred method of winding down?
Usually watching TV or reading (though I mostly read books like crazy in the spring and summer and stick to the internet and newspaper the rest of the year, for some reason).

When we build our new deck and get a hot tub, I'm sure tub time will become an almost daily ritual.


Is there a particular genre of music or books that you favor?
Music that generally falls under the Folk umbrella is often my preference.

Books are harder, but for sheer entertainment, I often go for thrillers (political, military, legal, medical, crime, etc.) and solid stories.


To date, where's the best spot you've vacationed/visited?
Perhaps Spain, but that may be because I've been fortunate to spend a good bit of time there.

Australia (Queensland in particular) is another place I can't wait to revisit.


If you could have one super power, what would it be and why? (For some reason, I really like this question. )
The power to heal bodies, minds and hearts, probably.

Experiences and trials are one thing, but needless suffering is quite another. And my sensitive/empathetic nature makes seeing that suffering extremely difficult for me. Even if I could only heal on a limited basis--like free cancer patients from intractable pain, help those with PTSD function better or show those who are terribly ignorant and angry better paths-- or help a very limited number of people, I'd jump at the opportunity to do so.

What is your biggest pet peeve?
Just one?

It might be a toss-up between irresponsibility and ignorance. Like I get really irritated at people who get themselves into debt because they buy stuff. Not things that they actually need, or even really want, but shit like expensive cars, $500 BBQs, extravagant gifts and designer clothes so they can keep up appearances. Then they can't pay for necessities and usually make a ton of excuses for why they're in debt.

Another example would be people who have problems but refuse to take steps to fix them or help themselves. And they often complain about their woes profusely, but always have excuses for why every proposed solution won't work for them. It's like they love the drama and self-pity, and that irks me to no end.

I really can't stand those who refuse to learn, either. Even something as small as someone putting "(sp?)" next to a word here can set me off. I totally don't get why they don't just look the word up and try to learn how it's spelled or get a spellchecker.

.....

 

[fire_breeze]

Thank you so much for your incredible contributions. Your wisdom, knowledge and intuition is incredible and invaluable. I know I have learned a lot from reading your posts and responses .


Do you tend to adhere to a philosophy or follow your personal one?

 

[Quoll]

I really can't stand those who refuse to learn, either. Even something as small as someone putting "(sp?)" next to a word here can set me off. I totally don't get why they don't just look the word up and try to learn how it's spelled or get a spellchecker.

I love you.

 

[KokopelliRises]

My one question would be: If you had the power, what question would people never ask again on the forums?

 

[silverwhisper]

heh...had you asked eilan, that would have been easy...



erika: something i've always wondered, does your husband have a lit account?

ed

 

[Quoll]

My one question would be: If you had the power, what question would people never ask again on the forums?

Oooh good question.

I can't think of any that haven't already been asked so far and I'll say what I said once before, Erika displays wisdom and maturity far beyond her years.

Oh I've got one, frivolous but one nonetheless.
If you could rename any forum/s on Lit what would they be?

 

[SweetErika]

Have you looked into becoming a sex-positive, kink-friendly therapist?

Yes, but not very far at this point. It'll probably be a few years (since I'm still working on the student loans from my MBA ), but I'm going to investigate it more seriously this year and will probably end up getting an MSW with a therapy specialization so I'll have plenty of options job- and career path-wise.

Or the founding member of BDSM/Psychosexuality Mensa?

Very funny!

Erika, what's your first piece of advice for someone who is new to the bdsm scene?

To take some deep breaths, step back, and take enough time to observe and build a solid foundation of knowledge prior to slowly engaging in play and relationships.

More simply, do learn a lot and don't rush it at all.

erika, you've mentioned in the past that you are in a somewhat open marriage. if you don't mind my asking, how did you that come to be?

I needed to explore my feelings for women (he knew about them well before we got married), and he supported me in doing that.

But once I confirmed my bisexuality, we had to figure out and negotiate what we were going to do with it. I'm not a casual sex person, so hooking up with women on occasion was out. So, we finally decided deeper/caring relationships with women wouldn't pose a threat to our marriage, and went with that.

Then one of my friendships with a man started to take a turn into romantic territory. I summoned the courage to talk about the possibilities with my husband, and we eventually decided this particular man and relationship didn't threaten him or our marriage in any way so we gave that style of poly a shot. It worked fine for us, and we kind of continued on from there.

That said, I'm happy with monogamy like 95% of the time so we don't deal with the poly issue very often. I've been on quite a few preliminary dates with people who are interested in things my husband isn't (mostly in the realm of BDSM) in the past few years, but they haven't really amounted to anything. I put myself out there, but I usually don't look actively. I just like having the option to have different needs met and pursue really special connections when they present themselves once in a blue moon.

 

[SweetErika]

Thank you so much for your incredible contributions. Your wisdom, knowledge and intuition is incredible and invaluable. I know I have learned a lot from reading your posts and responses .


Do you tend to adhere to a philosophy or follow your personal one?

Thank you.

And, no, not really. I take what I like (e.g. The Golden Rule) from various places and leave the rest.

My one question would be: If you had the power, what question would people never ask again on the forums?

"Avatar?" holds the top spot, since it's info that's readily available in multiple places.

"Is my cock big enough?" is a close second, though.

erika: something i've always wondered, does your husband have a lit account?

Yep, and four whole posts to go with it.

I think he registered to answer a question or browse AmPics, but he's not really into this kind of writing or forums unless he's doing something specific.

If you could rename any forum/s on Lit what would they be?

Maybe...

General Board: Enter at Your Own Risk

 

[silverwhisper]

thanks for the answers to the questions to date, erika! :>

another one: is there a particular specific knowledge or skill you currently lack but most wish you possessed?

ed

 

[bobsgirl]

I've always thought you wrote perhaps the most thoughtful, articulate answers and comments on both the HT boards. And you don't suffer fools and don't back down from a disagreement. When I found out, your youth was very surprising to me. (I can say that, as I am easily twice your age, and nowhere near as smart.)

I was very fortunate that you agreed to give me editing help on one of my stories. Sam and Mimi appreciated your help in getting their act together. Thank you.

 

[fire_breeze]

Thank you


I have another one: Is there something about American society (or Western in general) that utterly irritates you and is there something about the society that you would like to change/see changed?

 

[SweetErika]

another one: is there a particular specific knowledge or skill you currently lack but most wish you possessed?

There are many!

I'd love to be more adept at math and science, though. My brain has never grasped (especially higher-level) concepts in those categories very well, which has led to a lot of frustration over the years and limited my options.

It'd also be awesome to be more relaxed. I think and worry way too much about a lot of things that are unimportant.

I've always thought you wrote perhaps the most thoughtful, articulate answers and comments on both the HT boards. And you don't suffer fools and don't back down from a disagreement. When I found out, your youth was very surprising to me. (I can say that, as I am easily twice your age, and nowhere near as smart.)

I was very fortunate that you agreed to give me editing help on one of my stories. Sam and Mimi appreciated your help in getting their act together. Thank you.

Thank you!

And anytime, doll.

I have another one: Is there something about American society (or Western in general) that utterly irritates you and is there something about the society that you would like to change/see changed?

I really hate the conceit, ignorance and ethnocentrism that makes so many Americans "ugly," especially when they talk to people from other places and travel abroad.

This is not the best country in the world, and we're certainly not always right or the best people on Earth, IMO. Hopefully that attitude will recede some now that we have leadership with a more global, intelligent view, but I'm not holding my breath.

 

[NippleMuncher]

"Is my cock big enough?" is a close second, though.

That would have been my first guess, but your right, the avatar thing is probably asked just a tad more frequently.

I don't have any questions, I just want to say that my admiration for Sweet E is extremely deep. Her ability to answer nearly all questions in a non-biased manner speaks volumes to her character. Sure, those of us that know her best can see when she's being a bit flippant <sp?> ( ) but even when her patience is tried, she maintains a respectful demeanor. And who better to try her patience than the rest of us yahoo's?

I prefer to call you Sweet E, not only because you're a sweetie, but also because truncations of a name and pet names are terms of endearment. I love ya and Lit wouldn't be the same without you.

 

[silverwhisper]

erika quoth:
i really hate the conceit, ignorance and ethnocentrism that makes so many americans "ugly," especially when they talk to people from other places and travel abroad.

erika, you rock. :>



given your experiences on lit, what advice do you have for a newcomer to lit generally?

ed

 

[shiny5437]

Ooh, more questions for SweetErika...

1. What do you know about sex that you didn't know 12 months ago?

2. What do you know about life in general that you didn't know 12 months ago?

And finally

3. If people had to take a test before they were allowed to have sex (to get their sex licence) what would you want to see on it?

And once again thankyou for all you How-To time and patience!