The List

[some_poet]

I read a poem awhile back about "THE List" about counting lovers. I would post it here but I do not know the poet to ask.

While the task itself might seem distasteful, the poem was really well done.

So this is the thread. It might be tasteful, it might not. No promises

I am going for it and would love company. Of course, use pseudonyms to protect the guilty if you wish.

I am going to try to go in chronological order. Can be prosey (a good way to start a future poem) or in poem form.

Too tired to start tonight (besides man on list waiting for me now) but wanted to post the thread while it was on my mind.

Have fun!

Some_Poet :*

 

[UnderYourSpell]

I don't think my memory's that good!

 

[EroticOrogeny]

My list is short. Basically 2, but could be augmented a little. Most my poems related to romance deal with one or the other: sad vs happy; past vs present.

 

[some_poet]

I don't think my memory's that good!

That is one of the reasons I wanted to do this, to maybe help me remember. Maybe it is better to let things go, though. ?

 

[some_poet]

1. R.D.

elevator doors opened
'ssup you muttered
ducking your head down
to get through the door.

I nearly dropped my milk crate
of cassette tapes and journals~
who can guess what my father thought
dropping me off, first year co-ed dorm
with the biggest darkest man we had
ever seen.

All I knew was that I would have him.
Some way I would get him. Although
this was not as I had planned,
blood soaked through comforter, blankets, sheets
mattress pad awake alone putting quarters in the
machine, re-writing the story to not include
the fist pounding no no why bother struggling ease
into cries of pain, thinking how much they sound
like pleasure I had heard on those movies
the boys sneaked into our sweet sixteen slumber
parties.




I don't see you anymore or hear your sadistic words
with that LA ghetto drone. I know it was what I asked for.
You just filled the role. Center star, they called your name, pushed your plays.
I looked you up. Many times. I know now how to make you
be the one to beg. The things I would do with those fingers that could
palm the ball without a stretch.

 

[some_poet]

2. They Called You "Cajun" (revised)
by Charlatan Webb » Tue May 17, 2011 9:17 am

I didn't know your name
but they called you Cajun. Out on
the balcony our silhouettes merged
into one shadow, legs wrapped
around your back, panties in your pocket.
Over your shoulder I watched cars pull into
the lot and listened to the voices behind
the sliding glass door.

Brian kept the pipe filled
and Pam and me out of the kitchen
while you spiced up our jambalaya and rice-
was it David? Don't remember. They
called you Cajun.

Ever the gentleman,
you brushed your cum from my shoulder
(before passing out under the sofa bed)
and dropped us off at the front door
(before going to work with your
16 year old girlfriend.)

I still think of you sometimes, how I was
proud when you told everyone I gave
great head. Self-fulfilling prophesy,
I promised myself to live up to this reputation,
to learn how to never leave a drop of evidence
on shoulder, driver seat leather, lowered
waistband, camisole lace.

I think of you as I take them down,
insisting that there is no dinner no
coffee no conversation no phone calls
no first names no same bed sleeping
no head on chest comfort.
No hinges. Either way.

 

[some_poet]

3. Sean: the pseudo expatriate comes home

Jesus you were a gorgeous man.

you taught me the importance
or working on my skills, talents
because being a good fuck was never enough
to make anyone stay


you taught me
how impossibly easy it is
to get laid if you want
nothing
else


these are not poems
they are childish
relflections

poems: promised
round 2

 

[some_poet]

4. Steve, it was Steve, right?

fucking Sean gave me the confidence
the je ne fucking care pas attitude it apparently takes
to make a guy want more

pity
I did not want that anymore


you saw me walk in the room
everyone else disappeared
this is what you told him
begging to get me to you
somehow again


dinner?
movies? what the hell. I left my hinges
with the Cajun. My secrecy solid with the baller.

You lay me down. I am still. Shhhh you tell me
shhhh you don't have to do anything. Kisses soft
between, my arching quiet cries, I reached for you
that first night, wanting to do
what I do, and you said no
no sweetheart, you don't have to do that.

Covered me with cotton sheet from the closet
sleep sweet girl, just sleep.
Fur chested, you were a man. You wanted me
in the daylight. I was already snowblind.

What would have happened, if I ever
let you in?

 

[UnderYourSpell]

R.C

Thankyou, for making the first time good
nowhere near perfect
but not horrendous.
Certainly not romantic
on your unmade bed your mother out,
at least you took me gently,
just sixteen and you all of what?
I forget so long ago, older anyway
experienced in seduction.

I saw you years later with your big wife
and well fed kids.
I know she lied to get that wedding ring
the baby that never was.

Told my Mother years afterwards
you should have become
her son in law,
doubt she knew you were
experienced in seduction.

 

[some_poet]

5. Finally you you you

always regretted not getting
down with you you you three years of waiting you
had me flat and open fucked me to
last a lifetime apart falling asleep on my
sticky stomach

 

[some_poet]

6. the One

baby
you never
had a chance
and you still don't


I love you always

 

[some_poet]

7.

my first because I can boyfriend
I always forget you from my list

Rooftop party
you were supposed to be a set up
for Jan, but we clicked
I forgot how easy it was to fall in love with you
we fast forwarded to instant couple
no taste,
easy going down, your loft bed
left no room for cowgirl
your cock was crooked
and not in the right direction
you packed me into your car
with your roommates down to the shore
lord you were all so immature, freshmen.

Nipple plucking
green scrubber on bathroom floor
no I did not drink your roommates fucking kool-aid
but I would have fucked him the idiot
I was sitting on his lighter invited him
get it

you were my boyfriend.
three weeks we lived together?
three days?

my parents were so confused.

I hated that call, to tell you that my ex
begged me back
carved lines into my father's desk
wondering if I was making a big mistake.

I heard you were one of the first internet servers
in Philadelphia. Surely you did well.

 

[some_poet]

8

you propped me this way and that with pilloows,
bending my limbs like a poseable mannequin
trying to get the right angle. your flesh was marshmellow
If I had a grandfather,
you could have been him.

god you treated me like a princess
your smile your
ah
grace
I swear I saw your face
cable access community channel
sitting on city council.

For weeks I kept seeing your wife,
passing around photos of grandchildren,
the new car, but it was never her. How is it
I feel no remorse for the pain I could have caused her?
It is not real unless someone outside of us
sees. We are detatched. Private bubble.

9

You set up a threesome with a 23 year old, but
you couldn't make it, sent me on my way anyway.
Another Mike.

I opened his belt before hellp. untucked his startch white I dont think he even ever took it off.
I just
wanted
to
be
finished the job.

I dont think I even shaved my legs or shower
the cum from my belly
got him back to his conference
before the lunch buffet was cold.

I never saw either of you again. Pity
you would have been a good boyfriend.
Always with the taking care of me. Always with the
propping and questions. Deep southern wealth.
Gentleman.

You saw me with my new baby
walking on the square. Sent a message.
I look for you at the coffee shop and I have no idea
what you look like. Marshmellow flesh,
white silk hair, just like all of them,
politicians off to a late start.

 

[some_poet]

10 Dr. K

10 Dr. K

your wife told you
go for it
just use a condom
figured it would be better than your trekking off to Bangkok
with the buffet plate best friend who wanted
to try it all starting at the waist

somehow
she made her way into that condom
kept you from keeping up

but truth is you were my first
foolish I did not know
to keep it away from close
to remember password clues
started to fall when I learned your secrets
your public life kept private
photo by weekly column
first official something you were
sucked as a lover
excelled at inaccessibility

 

[some_poet]

11 once

11 Used Car Salesman

of course your wife was ill
the wives are always ill
or hateful or tired
it is easier that way.

do you count?
you were fascinated by me I could feel
your pierce what what what is this creature
that will fuck me maybe and why
starch press pastel oxford I could see you behind the desk
telling the buyer you had to check with your manager
see if you could make a deal
behind closed doors you fucked your time
making them wait wonder believe you were actually
going to give them a chance

do you count?
I only sucked your chubby cock
down there in the bank parking lot
I didn't let you touch me but it took this
it took this
to know it just was
this nothing swallowed down god you repulsed me
hard cologne slick hair you were a short version of my brother,
the brother I wanted to marry
only you
were pure slime
and I swallowed you down
anyway

 

[some_poet]

12: Lab coat confessions

I ironed my lab coat to sharp
precision, did not smile or love no
that was not what you needed, you needed
punishment, redemption. Ties tight in place
I smacked back your reach "god
just let me touch you" No.

I flipped through pages of pornography
with the bright light in squint eye
forcing you to look, to confess,
Is this how you think of women
as tools? Machines, as a means to some end?

Today, the weaker sex is in charge. We
imprison your kind. But you, you were different.
We allow you your freedom
just keep up the grovel
the promise, keep providing the sample
prostate borne, latex gloves collecting
your donation, frozen

I tried not to look at the photos on your wall
the young girl, the small boy in the photo with you
no mother no signs of children on the
floors of this condo
dry ashtrays, sick dogs in crates

I learned later of your conviction,
of your name
on that list
sex offender
corruption of youth.
Daughter.

I am not your redeemer, I am
not your release. I threw the sperm sample
away in my bathroom,
threw the lab coat in the wash,
finished.

 

[some_poet]

13:

I can't write about you.
You are still here.
Three years, two days you are
still fucking here.

it would take too long
I have already written you into the weave

 

[some_poet]

14:

you were my first paid gig
why not, I figured
pay the sitter, pay the panties,
pay the shame of just a job

you liked the feel of wetness
on your back, pressed down your leg,
breasts on shoulder, body to body
in the guise of massage

motherfucker.
cocky son of a bitch, I still see your ads
narcissistic self promotion
come on fucker, you pay
for
human
contact

get off your pedastal
roll in the muck with the rest of us
soul wonder

 

[some_poet]

15: T-post

working man
divorced father
lonely
sexy
good lord you were a handsome man
wish I still had your address I am still in town
baby, where are you?

where are you with your permissions? can
I kiss your breasts?
second meeting, can I kiss you
third meeting, can I kiss you again
god what a gentleman with a hundred dollar bill
and I gave you what you needed

someone to listen
to pay attention
to touch
breathe
hold

you are a good man, Michael. See
I even remember
your name.

 

[some_poet]

16: the others

16
17

we met for beers remember?
she gave me the okay to fuck her husband while we washed
hands in the bathroom no, not permission, more like a mission
"Mandy, I want you to fuck my husband."
I believe were her words. Wanted to up his confidence.
Make him believe he could please others.
And he could. You were my first pussy.
Pussy bitch. Still.

I'd fuck him a hundred times without you but that
does not seem nice.

 

[some_poet]

18 I read somewhere

one sign of sex addiction was keeping a list

after of course, I started this one

18: trombone player good lord you licked my feet
while he fucked me, harder than ever, something to do with
another man, additive properties of
testosterone

I have never seen a man sweat like you


19: you said you did not smoke
you lied


strong arm of the law
you were a short man, but strong, hard, forceful
good lord, you scared me
said I never wanted to see you again, but there you were
in fantasy
slapping my face left, right, left like before
crossing the street you had me five fingered
marathon

 

[some_poet]

20: Roberto/Juan

I do not remember where you came in--
after the baby, yes, he was asleep
while you pretended to work, no you
really did work while I paraded
bath robe open
pretending to seduce you
already there god
I liked fucking you
should think about looking you up again
so many things in this house could use fixing

you called your self Daddy
god it put me over the top three notches
up the washline blowing never knew
I had that desire but there I was
fucking daddy in the guest bed

you always had this look of disbelief
why why why did I choose you?
tv repairman
grey flecked green card daddy

 

[some_poet]

21: Neighbor

you were actually probably more like 15, or 14,
or maybe 13 skipping over 15, how many did we cover?

why I always forget you, neighbor, except
the times I drive past your house
the repairs are coming slowly, I saw you in the coffee shop
I had all the kids along, the husband too and I pretended
like I did not recognize you, hoped you did not recognize me

Remember how you waited on the couch, torn jeans
leaving an open path

I dropped the yellow thongs in your mailbox
thinking you would sniff them,
perhaps jerk off with their satin
but no you stuffed that cock in,
he would have loved it actually
for me to bring you to him, in the panties you bought
with your breath on my line

I should have stayed to teach you
how to read a woman
how to be one

 

[butters]

4. Steve, it was Steve, right?

fucking Sean gave me the confidence
the je ne fucking care pas attitude it apparently takes
to make a guy want more

pity
I did not want that anymore


you saw me walk in the room
everyone else disappeared
this is what you told him
begging to get me to you
somehow again


dinner?
movies? what the hell. I left my hinges
with the Cajun. My secrecy solid with the baller.

You lay me down. I am still. Shhhh you tell me
shhhh you don't have to do anything. Kisses soft
between, my arching quiet cries, I reached for you
that first night, wanting to do
what I do, and you said no
no sweetheart, you don't have to do that.

Covered me with cotton sheet from the closet
sleep sweet girl, just sleep.
Fur chested, you were a man. You wanted me
in the daylight. I was already snowblind.

What would have happened, if I ever
let you in?

one amazing poem, and this amazing phrase reaches out beyond the rest.

wonderful.

 

[vrosej10]

1.

he was my first love
long waited for
good for nothing
godforsaken drama fiend
he left my heart to fend
alone the for longest part;
older now, I loathe him for it.