Gay vs. Bi Relations

[Safe_Bet]

I found this article intriguing.

Why Can't Black Women & White Women Talk to Each Other?

It seems to mirror every thread I've ever read about gay/lesbian "vs." bi relations. It never ceases to amaze me how two groups, who should have SO much in common, always seem to start bitching at each other and how "somebody" always gets offended.

The dykes snark that bi's are "users" and "players" (I've actually said that); the bi's snap back that the dykes are "elitists" and "man haters". The gay guys have their own version of this.

So my question here is, how do we fix this? How do we start working as a "team" towards GLBT rights without pissing each other off so much? To answer these questions I think that the first thing we need to do is to honestly state how we REALLY and HONESTLY feel about each other and try to explain WHY. Then we need to listen to what our other bro's and sisters have to say and FAIRLY consider their opinions and viewpoints. Hopefully, we will be able to establish some common ground from which to work.

P.S. I would appreciate it if we could limit this discourse to actual members of the GLBT community (If you're str8 you don't really have a dog in this fight, ya know?)

I DO insist that anybody that takes part in this discussion leaves their "snark" and "thin skin" at the door cuz I think that we all need to be perfectly honest and frank with each other and listen to differing points of view without feeling the need to "respond". In other words, lets see if we can accomplish what the str8's can't and have an honest dialog without "verbal violence".

 

[Stella_Omega]

Hmm.

I am bisexual. I am a feminist. I'm promiscuous, which is something of a problem in the lesbian community anyways-- so I may not be the person who can really speak to this issue!

But I can say as I always do, that my bisexuality is no more my choice than anyone else's sexual preference is... I was born this way!

 

[Safe_Bet]

Hmm.

I am bisexual. I am a feminist. I'm promiscuous, which is something of a problem in the lesbian community anyways-- so I may not be the person who can really speak to this issue!

But I can say as I always do, that my bisexuality is no more my choice than anyone else's sexual preference is... I was born this way!

I am a lesbian. I am a "ditzy blonde", at times. I'm monogamous as hell. Based upon the posting I've read both here and other places we, by all rights, should have scratched each others eyes out by now. But we always treat each other with respect and I think honestly like each other. Why does it work between the two of us and not for the community in general?

Here's MY take on it: You are bi. Way bi. Maybe a K4-5. You fit the exact profile of the "people" I least understand. What makes me feel comfortable about talking to you is that you are VERY up front about who and what you are. You don't say you are a lesbian cuz you're not. You LEAD with "I'm bi and don't come on to me if you aren't okay with that". Most other heavy bi chicks don't say that. They greatly prefer being with a chick, but they "neglect to mention" that they may step out for a little dick every now and then.

It the "neglect to mention" part that REALLY hurts the trust. I perceive most of them as being capable of being unfaithful to a relationship with me/people I care about and it carrys through to every other aspect of our relationship. Also I feel almost as if they are "greedy", ya know? A woman (or a man if that is what turns their crank) ought to give them enough sexual satisfaction. It's like they want it from every direction.

Lastly (and here again I KNOW you are different) I don't trust their commitment to gay & lesbian rights. I always suspect that if it the politics / societal rejection / hate-speech ever gets really bad they will just decide to be "str8" till it blows over. I don't feel a whole bunch of commitment from them.

 

[emap]

Ah but your missing something. Homosexuals will act straight when the hubbub over those 'damn dirty faggots' gets to loud. That isn't just a bisexual thingy, I do happen to understand the hiding part, the ones who don't hide end up dead in many areas, Phoenix, or rather tempe to be a very good example.

Makes no sense to me, Tempe is a college town, ASU is one of the top 'party' colleges in the country, but every time the news mentions a gay or bisexual man was killed, it's in Tempe. Lesbians apparently are safe in Tempe, but men with men loving tendencies should move elsewhere.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Ah but your missing something. Homosexuals will act straight when the hubbub over those 'damn dirty faggots' gets to loud. That isn't just a bisexual thingy, I do happen to understand the hiding part, the ones who don't hide end up dead in many areas, Phoenix, or rather tempe to be a very good example.

Makes no sense to me, Tempe is a college town, ASU is one of the top 'party' colleges in the country, but every time the news mentions a gay or bisexual man was killed, it's in Tempe. Lesbians apparently are safe in Tempe, but men with men loving tendencies should move elsewhere.

Yeah, that makes sense. It also kinda ties in to something that Etoile said, in another thread, about the difference between living as a gay vs. living a gay lifestyle.

Part of what makes deciding to come out of the closet and live openly queer (the "gay lifestyle") so difficult is that you make yourself a target for the homophobes and fundie gay haters. If I were bi I could live with my man and go out and get some pussy every now and then. The perception of the community would still be that I'm str8 unless they see me in a queer bar or sumthing. This would be opposed to being perceive as "one of them queers" because I meet my female spouse at the door every afternoon and give her a kiss and a hug.

In thinking about what you've said I have realized that there is a big component of that in my feelings. Jealous of bi's having the "choice" of anonymity? Yeah, a little at times. "Pissy about being a target" because I don't hide my sexual orientation while others do, while enjoying the same sexual gratification, is probably closer to the truth. I DO know that I think "You chicken shit!" when I see somebody sucking on some chicks face in a gay club one night and the next day she gives us a dirty look because my spouse and I are holding hands in the grocery store.

So let me ask this: Does it bug you when you see openly gay people being affectionate in public? Do you think "keep it in the bedroom, not the damn grocery store, you freakin queers"?

 

[gloriann]

It bothers me when anyone, straight or gay, gets overly affectionate in an inappropriate place. There's a time and place for excessive PDA's, and the grocery store line isn't it.

In general, though, I figure if a straight couple can hold hands and show some affection in public, so can I.

We went a bit astray of the thread topic, though.

I don't get bi's either, but as long as everyone is honest, then it's all good. I just don't want them forgetting about us, the "G" "L" and "T's" in GLBT when the going gets tough.

 

[Safe_Bet]

It bothers me when anyone, straight or gay, gets overly affectionate in an inappropriate place. There's a time and place for excessive PDA's, and the grocery store line isn't it.

In general, though, I figure if a straight couple can hold hands and show some affection in public, so can I.

We went a bit astray of the thread topic, though.

I don't get bi's either, but as long as everyone is honest, then it's all good. I just don't want them forgetting about us, the "G" "L" and "T's" in GLBT when the going gets tough.

Okay, so we're both "bothered" and "mistrustful"... How do we get past that so we can all work together?

BTW, any Bi's, other than EMAP, got anything to say on the subject????

 

[Misty_Morning]

Yeah...I do.

I wish women that are really bi would admit it.

I am sooooo fucking sick and tired of some women that are adamant that they are lesbians, and yet, they have sex with men...on occasion.

Hello....that makes you bi!

Then comes the phase that makes me want to do violence upon them (lol) ....well, ya know..."lesbian" and "bi" are just labels. And I'm not gonna label myself.


Put a cork in it.

If you continue to have sex with a man...even on "occasion"....you are bi.




Ok. Now that that's outta my system.....I have no problem with women who are bi (and admit it). I have no problem with straight women. What does trust and another persons sexuality have to do with me, especially if I am not in a relationship with them?

Now trust as an individual, as a human being?

Yes, it matters. But I don't care about their sexual identity.

 

[emap]

I'm going with Misty here, I don't really see why it matters what a person is sexually if your not looking. Not pointing fingers or nothing but it really seems weird that a persons sexually matters when your in a loving relationship with someone else.

Not to say I don't do that though, I watch movies, shopping so on and look at guys and gals and go oh yeah she's lesbian, he's gay, she goes both ways and so on.

The only time I think you so should not be doing that is when people are standing in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store, I don't care what they are doing get your dumb ass to the side.

Making out, I don't really care I've done that in public, I've done lots more but well I had liquid courage at the time, and in a bar. People usually are free to do what they want, just so long as they don't interfere with anyone's drive or walk or bicycle. SOme areas that's the only thing if your blocking traffic of whatever kind they get mad, other places two guys making out you got a lynching happening, yet oddly in the very same place two women making out is cheered.

Totally off topic but I swear the way it looks, if lesbian marriages appeared on the ballots, just allowing two women to marry each other it would pass, because for whatever screwed up reason, most don't seem to care that much about lesbians, but gay men is a major no no.

 

[Stella_Omega]

"I wish bi women would just admit it... "

See, it is no problem for me to admit it, because I am only out tomcatting, and not looking for anything primary. If I were looking for a life partner, my bisexuality would be a big issue-- and would be harder for me to address.

I've had a lot of training in being honest, yanno? Most of us haven't.

 

[Safe_Bet]

Okay, I'm even more fucking confused than I was...

Gay / Lesbians: Is it an honest issue? Is it fair to color their entire sociatal grouping because of the actions of a few? Is it just a few?

Bisexuals: Do gays and lesbians discriminate against you? How so?

 

[Stella_Omega]

Misty said;

If you continue to have sex with a man...even on "occasion"....you are bi.

Which I have absolutely no quarrel with!

But it does speak of a common assumption which is that all bisexuals are promiscuous. That a bi woman with a female partner will be unfaithful-- with a man.

But I know more lesbian couples who broke up over an unfaithful episode with another woman, honestly. And I remember once when a woman took advantage of me to be unfaithful and force her GF to leave her.

If someone has committed to be monogamous, it shouldn't matter to them, what gender they eschew. If someone is going to cheat, they'll cheat.

BUT! I can completely get it, that a woman would be far angrier and more betrayed if her GF cheated on her with a man. Seriously. All of the reasons-- social, political, psychological-- I would never want to argue it.

 

[Isid]

what does being bi or lesbian have to do with article cited in the original post which addresses interracial relationships?

Did I miss something?

 

[emap]

I don't feel discriminated against, though I don't go around saying hey I'm a bisexual woman either. Which is actually I think part of the problem, it's kinda obvious who the gay men are, and the butch lesbians, but it's hard to tell who is bi and who isn't. Doesn't help that science can't figure out either, they step one way then the other on the whole issue.

Though to be honest I think as a whole the problem that bisexuals straights and gays have with each other is in who they want to bed. A straight man can understand a lesbian cause he wants the same thing she does, a straight woman can understand a gay man because she wants the same thing. They are both sticking to one sex and it makes perfectly good sense to them. Bisexuals on the other hand really like Steve, and they really like Jane and then everybody goes well darnit pick one cause society or well rather religion says one spouse. It confuses the hell out of people when they have the one spouse and this other person has two spouses, they get jealous and go why the hell can't I have that.

Course that's a seriously simplified version of it, but ah well you get the idea I hope.

 

[infinity706]

Yeah, that makes sense. It also kinda ties in to something that Etoile said, in another thread, about the difference between living as a gay vs. living a gay lifestyle.

Part of what makes deciding to come out of the closet and live openly queer (the "gay lifestyle") so difficult is that you make yourself a target for the homophobes and fundie gay haters. If I were bi I could live with my man and go out and get some pussy every now and then. The perception of the community would still be that I'm str8 unless they see me in a queer bar or sumthing. This would be opposed to being perceive as "one of them queers" because I meet my female spouse at the door every afternoon and give her a kiss and a hug.

In thinking about what you've said I have realized that there is a big component of that in my feelings. Jealous of bi's having the "choice" of anonymity? Yeah, a little at times. "Pissy about being a target" because I don't hide my sexual orientation while others do, while enjoying the same sexual gratification, is probably closer to the truth. I DO know that I think "You chicken shit!" when I see somebody sucking on some chicks face in a gay club one night and the next day she gives us a dirty look because my spouse and I are holding hands in the grocery store.

So let me ask this: Does it bug you when you see openly gay people being affectionate in public? Do you think "keep it in the bedroom, not the damn grocery store, you freakin queers"?

I personally have no problem with anyone making out anywhere they want. Of coruse, very little seems to bother me anyway.

Okay, so we're both "bothered" and "mistrustful"... How do we get past that so we can all work together?

BTW, any Bi's, other than EMAP, got anything to say on the subject????

Well, I'm bi. I haven't had any problem with gays and lesbians, but from what I've heard, it's mostly between the bi chicks and the lesbians.

I'm going with Misty here, I don't really see why it matters what a person is sexually if your not looking. Not pointing fingers or nothing but it really seems weird that a persons sexually matters when your in a loving relationship with someone else.

Not to say I don't do that though, I watch movies, shopping so on and look at guys and gals and go oh yeah she's lesbian, he's gay, she goes both ways and so on.

The only time I think you so should not be doing that is when people are standing in the middle of the aisle at the grocery store, I don't care what they are doing get your dumb ass to the side.

Making out, I don't really care I've done that in public, I've done lots more but well I had liquid courage at the time, and in a bar. People usually are free to do what they want, just so long as they don't interfere with anyone's drive or walk or bicycle. SOme areas that's the only thing if your blocking traffic of whatever kind they get mad, other places two guys making out you got a lynching happening, yet oddly in the very same place two women making out is cheered.

Totally off topic but I swear the way it looks, if lesbian marriages appeared on the ballots, just allowing two women to marry each other it would pass, because for whatever screwed up reason, most don't seem to care that much about lesbians, but gay men is a major no no.

Well, straight guys seem to like lesbians. Most straight women have lesbian fantasies if the polls are believable. Bi/lesbian women want some pussy themselves. Gay guys don't seem to care. There just really isn't much left to object.

 

[Safe_Bet]

what does being bi or lesbian have to do with article cited in the original post which addresses interracial relationships?

Did I miss something?

No you didn't miss anything.

I just noted the parallels between black & White women bickering at each other all the time (when they should be working together for a common cause) was very similar to how gays & lesbians seem to bicker with bisexuals (when WE should be working together for a common cause).

I want to better understand the dynamics of the problem and, hopefully, come up with some strategy on how to overcome the problems by an honest discourse here in our own little Lit-World.

I don't feel discriminated against, though I don't go around saying hey I'm a bisexual woman either. Which is actually I think part of the problem, it's kinda obvious who the gay men are, and the butch lesbians, but it's hard to tell who is bi and who isn't. Doesn't help that science can't figure out either, they step one way then the other on the whole issue.

Though to be honest I think as a whole the problem that bisexuals straights and gays have with each other is in who they want to bed. A straight man can understand a lesbian cause he wants the same thing she does, a straight woman can understand a gay man because she wants the same thing. They are both sticking to one sex and it makes perfectly good sense to them. Bisexuals on the other hand really like Steve, and they really like Jane and then everybody goes well darnit pick one cause society or well rather religion says one spouse. It confuses the hell out of people when they have the one spouse and this other person has two spouses, they get jealous and go why the hell can't I have that.

Course that's a seriously simplified version of it, but ah well you get the idea I hope.

Nope. I'm not getting it (having a "dense morning, I guess). Why would a gay or lesbian be jealous of you having a different sex partner? The last thing I want, as a homosexual, is anything to do with sex with a man. To be honest that has a huge "icky" factor for me.

Then again, mebe I got what you were saying backwards. FOR ME it would be the opposite. I have a bit of repulsion from not understanding how you can want to be with a man (two chicks would be fine with me). It's sort of like people that like brussel sprouts... I like them as a person, but I sure as hell can't watch them eat those damn things and the mere thought makes my nose crinkle.

 

[Stella_Omega]

...Bisexuals on the other hand really like Steve, and they really like Jane and then everybody goes well darnit pick one cause society or well rather religion says one spouse. It confuses the hell out of people when they have the one spouse and this other person has two spouses, they get jealous and go why the hell can't I have that.

Course that's a seriously simplified version of it, but ah well you get the idea I hope.

See? Another person who thinks that "BI" is the same thing as "Poly."

Are all bisexual women polyamorous? (we are not talking about men here, remember)

 

[Essene]

Here's MY take on it: You are bi. Way bi. Maybe a K4-5. You fit the exact profile of the "people" I least understand. What makes me feel comfortable about talking to you is that you are VERY up front about who and what you are. You don't say you are a lesbian cuz you're not. You LEAD with "I'm bi and don't come on to me if you aren't okay with that". Most other heavy bi chicks don't say that. They greatly prefer being with a chick, but they "neglect to mention" that they may step out for a little dick every now and then.

It the "neglect to mention" part that REALLY hurts the trust. I perceive most of them as being capable of being unfaithful to a relationship with me/people I care about and it carrys through to every other aspect of our relationship. Also I feel almost as if they are "greedy", ya know? A woman (or a man if that is what turns their crank) ought to give them enough sexual satisfaction. It's like they want it from every direction.

Lastly (and here again I KNOW you are different) I don't trust their commitment to gay & lesbian rights. I always suspect that if it the politics / societal rejection / hate-speech ever gets really bad they will just decide to be "str8" till it blows over. I don't feel a whole bunch of commitment from them.

Safe_Bet,

I think I recall you posting in the "Gay Bi Relations" thread in the other forum.

The thing that bothers me personally is the stereotyping. I think we can all agree that being stereotyped sucks.

It's also incredibly frustrating to have to constantly defend my sexuality to other people because of their own bias.

As far as being bisexual goes, I'm 50/50. I take each relationship as it comes. I've never "left a woman for a man" or anything like that - or casually stepped outside for a "little dick". I've never claimed to be a lesbian when I'm not. I don't leave important information like my sexual preference at the door when dating either gender. I'm an active member of the community.

I dislike being stereotyped as much as the next person. If those are your own personal feelings of bias, other than to present you with me and who I am (which is the opposite of what you'd expect of me), I don't know what to tell you other than you're going to have to set your past experiences aside because they're negatively affecting the work you're trying to do by starting this discussion.

Also, the more politically charged gay, TG, and gender equality issues are, the more involved I become.

So, I don't know what else to tell you.

I've also gotten along with just about every black woman I've encountered. I'm white, and when I went to college in D.C., the college I went to was under scrutiny for not having enough African American students. The school recruited heavily. The year I started college I was one of 10 white students. I can't recall a single African American woman that I did not get along with (I still have close and lasting friendships today) - while most of my arguments were with my fellow white students.

I don't know what this means in the greater context, but there it is.

 

[Essene]

See? Another person who thinks that "BI" is the same thing as "Poly."

Are all bisexual women polyamorous? (we are not talking about men here, remember)

That was another thing that I meant to address in my post. Being bisexual has nothing to do with being polyamorous.

As far as I know, I'm a monogamous bisexual woman. It seems that there is a two-fold issue going on in this thread.

There are people who are bi and date both genders at the same time, or have 2+ life partners of differing genders (or same gender), but polyamory has nothing to do with bisexuality other than a person has the ability to incorporate both preferences into their lifestyle as they may choose.

They are both completely different sexual/relationship preferences.

 

[infinity706]

Nope. I'm not getting it (having a "dense morning, I guess). Why would a gay or lesbian be jealous of you having a different sex partner? The last thing I want, as a homosexual, is anything to do with sex with a man. To be honest that has a huge "icky" factor for me.

Now, that I certainly don't understand. Having...um extensively sampled both, I can say that sex with men isn't that much different than sex with women. There's far more difference than that between individuals. I think we can agree, though, that sex with women is great.

 

[RebeccaRose]

Having forced myself to "be Bi" for a number of years [before I quit being such a whimp and just came out ...which is admittedly a horrid way of phrasing it but I think you get the point though right?] I think I can understand both sides of this discussion.

I met plenty of criticism back when I called myself bi, the typical "greedy" comments that I sure a lot of Bi people are plagued with, and to be honest I can't say it came from people of any specific sexuality. I got it from both sides. However, as a out lesbian woman with mostly lesbian friends I can sort of see where this perception of the lifestyle choice is coming from. I don't believe at all that homosexual or straight people are "jealous" of the switching between sexual preferences as some one said, rather its just people finding themselves unable to trust Bi people because they don't really understand where they would stand in a relationship with such a person.

Society has a habit of stereotyping and marking people with unfavourable traits because of various lifestyle choices. I don't for a minute think that any one person of the LGBT community is specifically... anything you know? like person A could be a very polyamorous gay or indeed straight, while person B might be completely monogamous. I believe that certain groups of people view others specific groups with, for lack of a better phrase, tinted glasses. everyone is who they are. You may not like their lifestyle morally but that doesn't mean that they are unable of being kind, generous, loving, friendly, etc. people.

I always judge people on a case by case basis.. and not being able to do this I think is what is plaguing the community with all the hate and such. If people threw away any preconceptions of others based on their sexuality, then every one could get along swimmingly. Until then there will always be a certain element of "not being able to understand it" or whatever.

It just... depends..

Did any of that make sense? I'll be the first to admit that I'm not always a very coherent writers hehe

 

[Safe_Bet]

Safe_Bet,

I think I recall you posting in the "Gay Bi Relations" thread in the other forum.

The thing that bothers me personally is the stereotyping. I think we can all agree that being stereotyped sucks.

It's also incredibly frustrating to have to constantly defend my sexuality to other people because of their own bias.

As far as being bisexual goes, I'm 50/50. I take each relationship as it comes. I've never "left a woman for a man" or anything like that - or casually stepped outside for a "little dick". I've never claimed to be a lesbian when I'm not. I don't leave important information like my sexual preference at the door when dating either gender. I'm an active member of the community.

I dislike being stereotyped as much as the next person. If those are your own personal feelings of bias, other than to present you with me and who I am (which is the opposite of what you'd expect of me), I don't know what to tell you other than you're going to have to set your past experiences aside because they're negatively affecting the work you're trying to do by starting this discussion.

Also, the more politically charged gay, TG, and gender equality issues are, the more involved I become.

So, I don't know what else to tell you.

I've also gotten along with just about every black woman I've encountered. I'm white, and when I went to college in D.C., the college I went to was under scrutiny for not having enough African American students. The school recruited heavily. The year I started college I was one of 10 white students. I can't recall a single African American woman that I did not get along with (I still have close and lasting friendships today) - while most of my arguments were with my fellow white students.

I don't know what this means in the greater context, but there it is.

Did you read my first posting? Please do, then PLEASE reconsider your personal comments towards me especially this part:

So my question here is, how do we fix this? How do we start working as a "team" towards GLBT rights without pissing each other off so much? To answer these questions I think that the first thing we need to do is to honestly state how we REALLY and HONESTLY feel about each other and try to explain WHY. Then we need to listen to what our other bro's and sisters have to say and FAIRLY consider their opinions and viewpoints. Hopefully, we will be able to establish some common ground from which to work.

Thank you.

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=31086549&postcount=1

 

[emap]

See? Another person who thinks that "BI" is the same thing as "Poly."

Are all bisexual women polyamorous? (we are not talking about men here, remember)

Actually that lost something in the translation, sorry my bad.

I'm not saying that bi's are poly, I'm not though I have been for brief periods several times. What I meant to mean was that straight and gay are more jealous of bi's because they can sleep with whoever, they aren't limited. Most people have same or different sex fantasies/thoughts most don't do anything about it, or are repulsed by the very thought/mention that they are thinking outside their chosen field of sex. Chosen is a rather poor word for it but the closest science has come to getting sex analyzed and labeled is everyone is born a sex lover, who they sleep with is determined by hormones and societal influences, which sounds pretty right to me.

Granted there really isn't any choosing besides choosing to ignore society and going with what your organs want, but I hope that one came out better.

 

[Fallenfromgrace]

Hmmm, I have had lesbian friends who have said that they wouldnt want to be with a bisexual woman because they are 'headfucks'. Now, i don't know why they think this, i don't really know any bisexual women...but i can tell you, that i think ANYONE can be a headfuck, regardless of their sexuality or even asexuality.

As for me on Bisexual people. I don't know anyone who has explicitly told me they are Bi, rather than straight or gay.

Now, i have no problem with Bisexuals as people. In fact, i have no grievance to bisexual's sexual attraction to both genders. Just like I am attracted to women, and a friend of mine is male and attracted to men, or another friend is attracted to the opposite sex, a Bisexual person finds an attraction in both. There is nothing wrong in that. I don't feel that it should HARM the homosexual community in any way. In fact, i REALLY don't understand why anyone has any grievance with Bisexual individuals.

I don't CARE if a straight person doesn't want to discuss their sexuality, or if an asexual person doesnt want to say they are asexual, or a gay man doesnt want to say he is gay. I might not want to tell people that i am in a loving relationship with another woman on a tuesday, but on the thursday i may feel like telling everyone. It's UP TO ME, and therefore it is UP TO THEM.

I also don't care if a person is 80% involved with members of the opposite sex, and then 20% involved with the same sex, if that person wants to say they are straight then that's up to them. Is it any wonder some people don't want to stand on the rooftops and shout their non-hetero sexualities out, B's get it in the neck from LG's, and LG's get it in the neck from B's, LET ALONE THE WIDER COMMUNITY WHO, LETS FACE IT WOULD RATHER SEE IS BURN IN HELL.

Let me put it this way, You, I, and Gay Bob down the road all bleed when cut, right? Personally, therefore, i don't give a fuck who you are riding like a cowgirl every night, and i certainly don't care whether Bob is eating pussy or cock...

~~

I'm wondering if i lost the point of the thread in my post above...oh well, my 2 pence anyway.

 

[Isid]

No you didn't miss anything.

I just noted the parallels between black & White women bickering at each other all the time (when they should be working together for a common cause) was very similar to how gays & lesbians seem to bicker with bisexuals (when WE should be working together for a common cause).

I want to better understand the dynamics of the problem and, hopefully, come up with some strategy on how to overcome the problems by an honest discourse here in our own little Lit-World.

Okay... thanks for the explanation... just checking...

It all boils down to being open and honest with potential parnters. Yet, I believe we can all have our hidden agendas and whatnot going on in the background and this is what leads to the confusion. Open and honest is fine and dandy but there is the matter of trust also. Without trust, open and honest can mean diddley squat.

I tend to believe more than disbelieve and this opens all kinds of pandora boxes for me down the road...