If you were an MP, what would you like to claim on expenses?

EesomeBeastie

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And to kick the discussion off, here's a little limerick I wrote on the subject:

An MP by accounting pretenses
Got his mistress new tits on expenses
Silicone, so he swore
Was to seal his front door
He must have took leave of his senses
 
A tactical nuclear weapon. dont ask, but my constiuents are such a bunch of tight fisted halfwits....
 
Did an MP really get his girlfriend tits on public money? Talk about job perks.
 
Did an MP really get his girlfriend tits on public money? Talk about job perks.

Er, not that I'm aware of. Poetic licence, dear chap. Probably one of the few things they've not tried to claim, though. :rolleyes:
 
I am seriously confused by this thread. I want to call the OP an idiot but shall refrain for now.
 
I am seriously confused by this thread. I want to call the OP an idiot but shall refrain for now.

I'm guessing from the American football helmet avatar piccy that you're from the US. Maybe it hasn't made the news on your side of the pond, but in the UK there's a major policitical scandal over what Members of Parliament have been claiming as expenses from the taxpayer, after a newspaper leaked their expense claims. They include cleaning a moat, building a duck island in a pond, etc. The popularity of politicians from all parties is at an all time low.

I started the thread off with that silly ditty because it wouldn't surprise me if a claim for something like that was uncovered!
 
I'm guessing from the American football helmet avatar piccy that you're from the US. Maybe it hasn't made the news on your side of the pond, but in the UK there's a major policitical scandal over what Members of Parliament have been claiming as expenses from the taxpayer, after a newspaper leaked their expense claims. They include cleaning a moat, building a duck island in a pond, etc. The popularity of politicians from all parties is at an all time low.

I started the thread off with that silly ditty because it wouldn't surprise me if a claim for something like that was uncovered!

To us an MP is a military cop. Might wanna store that knowledge away somewhere for future use.
 
To us an MP is a military cop. Might wanna store that knowledge away somewhere for future use.

Same over here. An MP can be a Member of Parliament or one of the Military Police (or even a mooring post). And if we want to get even more international, it could mean the Ministério Público of either Portugal or Brazil. The meaning has to be taken from the context.
 
Same over here. An MP can be a Member of Parliament or one of the Military Police (or even a mooring post). And if we want to get even more international, it could mean the Ministério Público of either Portugal or Brazil. The meaning has to be taken from the context.

That's just fine except you gave no context. All you said was an MP had an expense account.
 
YAAAAAAAAA
The world is my expense
The cost of my desire
Jesus blessed me with its future
And I protect it with fire
So raise your fists
And march around
Just don't take what you need
I'll jail and bury those committed
And smother the rest in greed
Crawl with me into tomorrow
Or I'll drag you to your grave
I'm deep inside your children
They'll betray you in my name

Hey, hey
Sleep now in the fire

Hey, hey
Sleep now in the fire

The lie is my expense
The scope of my desire
The party blessed me with its future
And I protect it with fire
I am the Nina The Pinta The Santa Maria
The noose and the rapist
The fields overseer
The agents of orange
The priests of Hiroshima
The cost of my desire
Sleep now in the fire

Hey, hey
Sleep now in the fire

Hey, hey
Sleep now in the fire

For it's the end of history
It's caged and frozen still
There is no other pill to take
So swallow the one
That made you ill
The Nina The Pinta The Santa Maria
The noose and the rapist
The fields overseer
The agents of orange
The priests of Hiroshima
The cost of my desire
To Sleep now in the fire
 
You aren't the only ones here. Might wanna store that knowledge away somewhere for future use.

i prefer "fuck you yank, the world doesn't revolve around your village, north korea is about to fuck it up for you.. haha, bunch of cunts. Holland actually rose above sea level when you left"

Americans. worthless cunts make MPs look useful. (and neither of 'em saved us from the nazi's)
 
As a founder member of the Moat Cleaners Union, I object to the basic premise of this thread.

And I object to hobbit just as a matter of principle.
 
I think they just feel a little insecure when confronted by independant thought. Especially when someone has gone to the trouble of doing so it a witty manner. Sort of written equivalent of the accent.;)

We invented independence. We declared it and we have a day for it. All your other colonies said, "Please, may we have our independence." Not that it matters much. I think you were happy to see the rest leave.


As for security, we have people in charge of National, Homeland and Social, so all of that is covered.
 
As a founder member of the Moat Cleaners Union, I object to the basic premise of this thread.

And I object to hobbit just as a matter of principle.

in which case, you south manc twat, you can go fuck yourself. :D

im off to abuse yanks now, on another board. :rose:
 
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