Democrat, Republican or Redneck? (political - not especially)

[Chantilyvamp]

Edited for PS: Your answer for a Democrat can't be correct because the Democrat is carrying a firearm and is an expert shot. Therefore the Democrat, and probably the Republican, would respond as my perfect solution above. The Redneck would probably be close to his hummer and grab an RPG because .45 cal just ain't enuf to make sure...

I'm still gigging over Og's redneck hummer remark.... You ain't been to the south very often have ya honey (I don't know many rednecks that drive hummers or would be caught dead in one (and heavens know I come from where they breed the best of rednecks) ...Now a jacked up dodge, ford, chevy...that's more believable! )

 

[oggbashan]

I'm still gigging over Og's redneck hummer remark.... You ain't been to the south very often have ya honey (I don't know many rednecks that drive hummers or would be caught dead in one (and heavens know I come from where they breed the best of rednecks) ...Now a jacked up dodge, ford, chevy...that's more believable! )

Thanks for pointing out my error. I thought it might be as believable as the first post.

I seem to see drunken rednecks rolling their jacked up vehicles almost every night on cable TV police chases. Center of Gravity? What's that?

Og

 

[R. Richard]

I'm still gigging over Og's redneck hummer remark.... You ain't been to the south very often have ya honey (I don't know many rednecks that drive hummers or would be caught dead in one (and heavens know I come from where they breed the best of rednecks) ...Now a jacked up dodge, ford, chevy...that's more believable! )

Let me amplify your remarks. 'Dodge, Ford, Chevy' is OK. However, NOT [God bless the mark] a 'rice burner.'

 

[cloudy]

Oh, wait, I think I can make up one of these jokes. Let me see...

You're walking down the street with friends when an American of Iranian descent accompanied by with his wife and two little children passes you by and politely wishes you "good evening." What do you do?

Democrat Answer:

Say "Good evening" back and continue on your way.

Republican Answer:

Tackle him with your friends, demand he confess to being a terrorist, and when he protests that he was born and raised in this country and is a loyal U.S. citizen you waterboard him in a nearby pond while your friends rape his wife and threaten his children. When he finally admits he's a terrorist in hopes that you'll spare his children you shout "HA. Knew it! Wait till I tell this to the democrat ahead of us who thought this guy was harmless!"

Redneck Answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG!

So. Was that funny?

Another one:

You're walking down the street with some friends and see a man wearing a black hat and black clothes, and he just looks foreign, right down to the curls hanging down in front of his ears. He doesn't look at you, but down at the ground and walks swiftly by. What do you do?

Democrat answer:

You didn't even notice him.

Republican answer:

You talk to your friends, loudly enough to be overheard, "Those damn illegal immigrants! They're stealing our jobs, our women, our land! Let's kill somebody!"

Redneck answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG!

*******

Nope, still not funny.

 

[DeeZire]

Another scenario: You’re walking down the street and you see a dude slam his female partner up against the wall and start berating her while twisting her arm behind her back. What do you do?

If you’re a republican, you walk by in disgust, knowing that she deserves what she’s getting because she’s dressed like a slut and she’s not 100% white.

If you’re a redneck, you ask the guy if he needs any help. Perhaps you offer your knife or gun, but you tell him he has to reimburse you for any bullets he uses because you work a minimum wage job and bullets are expensive!

If you’re a democrat, you dial 911 and then video the event with your cellphone. While doing so you yell at the guy: “Dude, someone’s messing with your truck!” The guy lets go of his woman, spins around, and dashes out into traffic where he gets hit by a bus.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Okay, now I will try one:

You are walking down the street by yourself when you see a white man, and he is holding tightly to the arm of a black or Hispanic woman. She is trying to get away from him.

If you are a Liberal: You attack the man and force him to release the woman. She runs away with the wallet she has just picked from his pocket.

If you are a Conservative: True to your Law and Order preference, you call 911 to report the disturbance. The cops come, and find the man's wallet stuffed into her coat pocket, and they arrest her.

If you are a redneck: You watch and listen appreciativly to her reviling of him and his angry responses, until the cops come and spoil your fun by arresting her for larceny.

 

[Boxlicker101]

Another one:

You're walking down the street with some friends and see a man wearing a black hat and black clothes, and he just looks foreign, right down to the curls hanging down in front of his ears. He doesn't look at you, but down at the ground and walks swiftly by. What do you do?

Democrat answer:

You didn't even notice him.

Republican answer:

You talk to your friends, loudly enough to be overheard, "Those damn illegal immigrants! They're stealing our jobs, our women, our land! Let's kill somebody!"

Redneck answer:

BANG! BANG! BANG!

*******

Nope, still not funny.

That might have been Zorro!

 

[DesertPirate]

Zeb, the original joke was posted on the humor thread several months ago.
The folks posting here have no sense of humor

 

[cloudy]

Zeb, the original joke was posted on the humor thread several months ago.
The folks posting here have no sense of humor

I guess it's funnier if you're a racist who likes to kill things. *shrug*

(here's a clue: old white guy jokes aren't funny to anyone but old white guys)

 

[DesertPirate]

I guess it's funnier if you're a racist who likes to kill things. *shrug*

(here's a clue: old white guy jokes aren't funny to anyone but old white guys)

And what you tried to turn it into was actually worse. But then you never have been accused of having an sense of humor, only a sense of persecution. What a sad thing you have become.

 

[cloudy]

And what you tried to turn it into was actually worse. But then you never have been accused of having an sense of humor, only a sense of persecution. What a sad thing you have become.

I'm actually a very happy person. I'm smart, too, unlike you, so I have loads to occupy my time besides screaming that the sky is falling like you do.

Go outside once in awhile, take a vacation...something. Ffs, get out of the house. You need it. Just don't wear those black socks and sandals with your plaid bermudas anymore, okay? *shudder*

 

[rgraham666]

As a Canadian none of this applies to me.

And it's not funny to me either. Way too fucking stereotypical as well.

 

[Stella_Omega]

And what you tried to turn it into was actually worse. But then you never have been accused of having an sense of humor, only a sense of persecution. What a sad thing you have become.

How about my versions? Were they funny? How about Deezire's? Boxlicker's?

 

[Safe_Bet]

As a Canadian none of this applies to me.

And it's not funny to me either. Way too fucking stereotypical as well.

Okay then how about... Three Canadians walk into a bar...

 

[Boxlicker101]

As a Canadian none of this applies to me.

And it's not funny to me either. Way too fucking stereotypical as well.

I read the joke a couple of months ago, and it was funny because it was so far over the top. Since then, the iterations, including mine, have just been mean-spirited.

 

[Stella_Omega]

I read the joke a couple of months ago, and it was funny because it was so far over the top. Since then, the iterations, including mine, have just been mean-spirited.

It wasn't funny to me, it was mean-spirited. If I were already laughing, because I'd been reading other jokes-- might have been funny. Or, I might have felt it was mean-spirited.

What is funny and what isn't can change an awful lot depending on whether you are on the majority side or maybe a minority citizen who can easily imagine being attacked in a "funny" way.

 

[amicus]

Being stereotypical is not necessarily being inaccurate, methinks.

Modern liberals are, in general, passive in all things and in opposition to those things deemed, 'active', and to extend the thought, 'male'.

The modern, progressive liberal mantra is feminine at best and without gender at worst. Thus the passive, effeminate scenario present as the OP, was like heavy make-up on stage, overstated, but not inaccurate.

And contemporaneous? You bet your ass. Just last week the new President said to the Islamic dictator in Iran, "hey, buddy, can't we just talk about it?" And the Iranians promptly replied, "Sure you Moorish halfbreed, bend over!"

(heh, I always like to provide a spoonful of humor with da medicine)

What better exemplifies a wuss liberal?



ami

 

[SeaCat]

Hmmmm, Lets see here.

You here that your neighbors house is on fire and that neighbor is trapped inside. What do you do?

If you are a Democrat you go stand outside and video tape the fire while making comments about how the government should be paying for more professional Firefighters. You worry about the immigrant family trapped in the house even as you video tape the fire for later political uses.

If you are a Republican you go outside and watch the fire while commenting that the immigrants trapped in the house must have caused it to get more money from Public Assistance. You go on and talk about how the local government should not be responsible for putting out the fire or running the Fire Department, it should go to the public sector and be run as a bussiness.

If you are a Redneck, you are on the Fire Engine and when it arrives through the traffic jamb created by the neighbors gawking at the fire you rush inside to rescue the people trapped inside and then put out the fire. You could care less about the politics being discussed around the neighborhood while the fire was burning, nor do you care that the people trapped inside are immigrants. You have a job to do and you do it.

Cat

 

[Stella_Omega]

By Cat's standards, I'd bet most of us are rednecks.

 

[SeaCat]

By Cat's standards, I'd bet most of us are rednecks.

And you get the idea.

What is a Redneck? (Asks he who is often accused of being one, and often agrees.)

Is it being a racist? Is it being a Liberal or a Democrat? Is it being lazy or industrious? Is it being from the city or from the country? Is it being rich or poor? Is it being incredibly intelligent or incredibly stupid? Is it being White Collar or Blue Collar? Is it being set in your ways or open to change?

No matter how you answer guess what. I can point out the same damned thing in your own personal demographic.

That's what makes things like Redneck jokes so funny to me. Everyone, if they are honest about themselves will find something in there that reflects on them.

AS for the original joke. Well I know people from all parts of life that would react in the manner the so called Rednecks did. That's why I find it funny in a sad way.

People often make the jokes about the Rednecks and point their fingers while wondering why I'm laughing. It's because they are pointing at themselves and don't know it or refuse to acknowledge it.

Cat

 

[JAMESBJOHNSON]

AMICUS

The Democrat response to anything dangerous is to stand wringing your hands, feeling impotent, and cursing Dubya for the Global Warming that created the terrorists or house fire or bank robbery or whatever.

The Republican response to danger is to demand a bribe up front. Even if the Republican's hair is on fire, he wants the bribe before he'll let you put the fire out.

And the Redneck just jumps into the middle of whatever's going on.

 

[DeeZire]

And the Redneck just jumps into the middle of whatever's going on.

...saying "hold my beer and watch this." (Famous last words of a redneck.)

 

[cloudy]

...saying "hold my beer and watch this." (Famous last words of a redneck.)

No...it's "Hey, y'all! Watch this!"



yes, I've heard it before

 

[Stella_Omega]

And you get the idea.

What is a Redneck? (Asks he who is often accused of being one, and often agrees.)

Is it being a racist? Is it being a Liberal or a Democrat? Is it being lazy or industrious? Is it being from the city or from the country? Is it being rich or poor? Is it being incredibly intelligent or incredibly stupid? Is it being White Collar or Blue Collar? Is it being set in your ways or open to change?

No matter how you answer guess what. I can point out the same damned thing in your own personal demographic.

That's what makes things like Redneck jokes so funny to me. Everyone, if they are honest about themselves will find something in there that reflects on them.

AS for the original joke. Well I know people from all parts of life that would react in the manner the so called Rednecks did. That's why I find it funny in a sad way.

People often make the jokes about the Rednecks and point their fingers while wondering why I'm laughing. It's because they are pointing at themselves and don't know it or refuse to acknowledge it.

Cat

weeeeellll... No. Not entirely.

Not when the original joke insults (according to this person's idea of an insult) one group, namely Democrats, as spineless gormless cowards-- and not when the obvious glee in mayhem and murder is so remarkable-- and certainly not when it's being told by someone we have seen say things like this *not* as a joke.

And not when people who are not in any way terrorists are actually in danger of being murdered by ignorant "patriots."

Nope, not funny.

I am a liberal. I am not spineless, or disinterested, I do not own a camera phone, and I will jump into any situation that I think I can conceivably handle. But I am not a redneck. I couldn't be a redneck if you threatened to kill me. And "redneck" makes a shitty catch-all.

 

[3113]

I'm still gigging over Og's redneck hummer remark.... You ain't been to the south very often have ya honey (I don't know many rednecks that drive hummers or would be caught dead in one

Very true. Og, in the U.S. you'll find that the most Hummer drivers are young women married to very rich men. Most will have a toddler with them and maybe dog. And most, alas, live in Southern California.