A new poet seeking advice.

[RicoLouis]

I hope this makes sense to someone out there. I have never actually tried to write an erotic poem before until recently. I have read a few but I found very few I liked. With some exceptions I didn’t find myself really aroused I guess because most of it was too deep in metaphor or ambiguity. My first attempt at writing one myself was okay but I spent so much time trying to rhyme the words I felt it took away from what I was trying to do. I wanted to make it feel more passionate but if you take away the metaphors, and the rhyming is it really still poetry?

 

[Safe_Bet]

I hope this makes sense to someone out there. I have never actually tried to write an erotic poem before until recently. I have read a few but I found very few I liked. With some exceptions I didn’t find myself really aroused I guess because most of it was too deep in metaphor or ambiguity. My first attempt at writing one myself was okay but I spent so much time trying to rhyme the words I felt it took away from what I was trying to do. I wanted to make it feel more passionate but if you take away the metaphors, and the rhyming is it really still poetry?

THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION!!!!!
(standard, don't rip my freakin' head off disclaimer)​

Who says poetry needs to rhyme? IMO, poetry is more about finding just the right word / words to express a feeling, emotion or mood. I personally like metaphors to help explain what I'm trying to express, sorta like sub captions in a good foreign film (ooops, slipped one in didn't I).

So, you might want to try your poem in free verse. The only thing that I personally struggle with is trying to not say too much and end up writing a story. You need to select each and every word judiciously and make damn sure that it is needed in the poem. I'd recommend that you read some of WickedEve's poetry to see how effective a poem can be when reduced to it's purest form.

 

[Angeline]

Hi and welcome to the poetry forum. My sense is that, in general, erotic poetry is not as arousing as erotic prose because it's usually shorter and more condensed. You don't really want explanation in a poem though you do want the right words (whether they rhyme or not, which has nothing to do with it in my opinion). And no (or very little) explanation can be limiting. But not always! There's some really good erotic poetry on this site. Some really bad "erotic poetry," too, but never mind that lol.

But what turns people on is such an individual thing, isn't it? I'd argue that I've read erotic poems here that are as good as erotic prose I've read or even videos (ok, porn) that I've seen. Do you want us to give you feedback on something you've written or do you want us to recommend poems to you? If you have a poem, post it. If not, well I'm sure other people here will give you their opinons. And in the meantime you can read this and this and this, and see if you still think poetry can't really arouse.

 

[Angeline]

THIS IS JUST MY PERSONAL OPINION!!!!!
(standard, don't rip my freakin' head off disclaimer)​

Who says poetry needs to rhyme? IMO, poetry is more about finding just the right word / words to express a feeling, emotion or mood. I personally like metaphors to help explain what I'm trying to express, sorta like sub captions in a good foreign film (ooops, slipped one in didn't I).

So, you might want to try your poem in free verse. The only thing that I personally struggle with is trying to not say too much and end up writing a story. You need to select each and every word judiciously and make damn sure that it is needed in the poem. I'd recommend that you read some of WickedEve's poetry to see how effective a poem can be when reduced to it's purest form.

See, we think the same way. Either that or we've both been brainwashed the same way,

 

[champagne1982]

Love those examples Ang. I find that sometimes the erotica is the metaphor rather than the other way around. A good round of sex means so much, after all.

maybe I can find d'maas' thread about having tea with the vicar... euphemistic sex = good fun poetry; or maybe I'm just bent over the settee after the wrong shoe, or something.

Erotic Woo-Woo

 

[annaswirls]

Hi Rico,

Please don't rhyme. At least end rhymes are very hard to do without sounding like a 6th grader completing an assignment. A lot of what makes sexy poems arousing is the rhythm. The allusion.

I like erotic poetry that sneaks up on you with hints and teases and then slams you with fuck-tastic hardness in the end.

To me, intelligence is sexy. Raw sex poetry usually does not work.

I am babbling and not making sense. It is because I was reading too much sex.

I think the best you can hope for in sexy poetry is to turn yourself on (seriously, you know what works for you, if not, you can explore in masturbatory writing which I do all the time) and if you happen to turn on a few other people in as a side effect, then pop the cork!

Excitement is contageous.

Get turned ou, close your eyes and think about what is doin it for you.

I hope one thing in this message made sense.

I hope this makes sense to someone out there. I have never actually tried to write an erotic poem before until recently. I have read a few but I found very few I liked. With some exceptions I didn’t find myself really aroused I guess because most of it was too deep in metaphor or ambiguity. My first attempt at writing one myself was okay but I spent so much time trying to rhyme the words I felt it took away from what I was trying to do. I wanted to make it feel more passionate but if you take away the metaphors, and the rhyming is it really still poetry?

 

[Liar]

I hope this makes sense to someone out there. I have never actually tried to write an erotic poem before until recently. I have read a few but I found very few I liked. With some exceptions I didn’t find myself really aroused I guess because most of it was too deep in metaphor or ambiguity. My first attempt at writing one myself was okay but I spent so much time trying to rhyme the words I felt it took away from what I was trying to do. I wanted to make it feel more passionate but if you take away the metaphors, and the rhyming is it really still poetry?

Of course it is.

I suggest (and it's only a suggestion, this is what works for me) you think of poetry as making interresting observations or having interresting ideas, and then telling them to people in the most effective way possible. Which isn't always a metaphor or a structured rhyme. (although it can be)

You say your rhyming took away from what you were trying to do. That's the feeling you need to go back to. What were you trying to do? Begin with the idea. Then dress it in words.

A good excersise for anyone with poetry ambitions, would be to write down what you want to say as prose first. Like a paragraph or two in a story. Looking at it as plain text will tell you pretty quickly if the idea behind the poem is interresting, or if it's run-of-the-mill cliché.

And then, if it pass that test, start cutting away words. Take out anything redundant, try to say many things with few words, cut out all details that are irrelevant to the idea. All while trying to preseve the mood of the original text.

As an example, 'He, she, and the New York skyline' (some rock lyrics, can't remember the artist) says pretty much all that needs to be said. To start describing the city sihlouette, exactly where they stood and watched it, exactly who they are, the weather, and so on, doesn't add anything. It's a short, effective phrase that conveys a lot of images and ideas.

It's not the only way to write a poem, but it gives you an idea of how to make one kind of poem, that doesn't rely on metaphor or structure, like rhymes or syllable counts.

 

[EroticOrogeny]

I hope this makes sense to someone out there. I have never actually tried to write an erotic poem before until recently. I have read a few but I found very few I liked. With some exceptions I didn’t find myself really aroused I guess because most of it was too deep in metaphor or ambiguity. My first attempt at writing one myself was okay but I spent so much time trying to rhyme the words I felt it took away from what I was trying to do. I wanted to make it feel more passionate but if you take away the metaphors, and the rhyming is it really still poetry?

I'd say that unless you feel a strong commitment to forms, to write with free verse (no rhyme or meter). I've been starting to work with forms, which I see as a good exercise (my works have been somewhat prosy, with a lot of alliteration). The other advice I've seen in this thread seems quite worthwhile.

 

[SweetOblivion]

Erotic poetry

In my view the repetition of certain phrases or the slight variation of words while building the verse structure and complexity can be the most erotic thing.

I don't feel that there is a simple dichotomy between rhymed and free verse. It's true that rhyming verses which are deliberately built primarily to bring out an erotic thought or word can often appear puerile or crude unless they are turned around as pieces of fun and simply become bawdy. Equally, however, free verse that goes on and on about a particular these can be as dull and uninteresting as a stylised ballad. And short verses can appear trite.

I think you need to be precise with whatever metaphors or similes you use, to avoid the easy option of forcing a particular rhyme for effect and to be precise enough to let the reader drift into the languorous mood of a poem, delighting in it, just as the author did as they crafted it.

M