Dumb criminals

[michchick98]

This guy wasn't all too bright:

"Southfield (WWJ) -- He used a marker to draw a beard and mustache on his face as a disguise. But that didn't help an alleged bank robbery suspect who was caught after a police chase through Southfield."

Read the full article here:

http://www.wwj.com/pages/4016540.php

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Anyone got any more dumb criminal stories they'd like to share?

 

[3113]

This guy wasn't all too bright:

"Southfield (WWJ) -- He used a marker to draw a beard and mustache on his face as a disguise. But that didn't help an alleged bank robbery suspect who was caught after a police chase through Southfield."

You know times are really tough when the bank robber can't afford to buy a fake beard.

 

[voluptuary_manque]

Obviously he hasn't seen enough Marx Brothers movies. You don't use a marker, you use shoe polish! The cops will never get you that way.

 

[DesertPirate]

Heard on the radio after a segment on "Dumb Crooks"

"If you have heard of them they did something dumb enough to get caught.
The only smart crooks are the ones you never heard of." - unknown

 

[JackLuis]

Heard on the radio after a segment on "Dumb Crooks"

"If you have heard of them they did something dumb enough to get caught.
The only smart crooks are the ones you never heard of." - unknown

Everybody's heard of George.

 

[slyc_willie]

These may just be urban legends, but they're funny nonetheless:

* * * *

A man held up a convenience store at gunpoint, wearing non-descript clothes and a motorcycle helmet. After fleeing with less than a hundred dollars, he was found by police less than an hour later. How did they find him so quickly?

His motorcycle helmet proudly displayed the name "Ray" in gold stencil. He had been pulled over by police for speeding in the past, and the name upon his helmet had been mentioned in the police reports.

* * * *

A patron at a Red Lobster restaurant figured he could get away with a couple of choice lobsters from the tank located in the front lobby. Clad in a dark overcoat, he fished out a pair of impressive specimens and stuffed them in the front of his pants. He did not notice that the rubber bands securing the claws of one of the aquatic arthropods had fallen away.

Police found him only a few blocks away, bleeding profusely thanks to an impromptu vasectomy.

 

[matriarch]

Try this site:

dumb criminals

I'm sure there will be stories in there for everyone.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

These may just be urban legends, but they're funny nonetheless:

* * * *

A man held up a convenience store at gunpoint, wearing non-descript clothes and a motorcycle helmet. After fleeing with less than a hundred dollars, he was found by police less than an hour later. How did they find him so quickly?

His motorcycle helmet proudly displayed the name "Ray" in gold stencil. He had been pulled over by police for speeding in the past, and the name upon his helmet had been mentioned in the police reports.

That might have happened in my home town. Maybe. I don't know the exact details, but it sounds similar to something I heard about a few years ago.