Breathplay help

[insgldad77]

Me and my gf have done breath play several times. She enjoys it and gets very turned on by the act of me having my hand on her throat. Then during sex she has tremendous orgasms if I control her breathing ability.

I have no problem with this at all. I enjoy it because she gets so much satisfaction out of it, and I love the control.

My question is, is there anyone out there that can explain the female psyche and it's process for enjoying this? I ask because she has voiced on several occasions that she enjoys it very much, but wishes she knew why.

"May you have fair winds and following seas!" Admiral Hymen G. Rickover.

 

[Shadowann2]

I know that, for me, it is the illusion of being completly controled. I love to feel dominated by my parter, and nothing gives him more control than him having my very breath in his hands. I say it is an illusion because I know that all I have to do is grab his wrist and he will imedately stop.

Be vary careful with breath play. I hope you did a lot of research on breath play before you just jumped in. The Blank Manual has several threads on how to do it as safely as possible.

 

[FurryFury]

I don't believe that it's an only female enjoyment thing. I believe some males like being choked too.

 

[CutieMouse]

Tweak blood oxygen levels a wee bit, add a dash of oxytocin... whamo climax - male or female. Then you get into the whole control aspect of things, which (for some) perfectly ices the cake.

Having said that - not something to be entered into lightly, and stupidly risky stuff, breathplay. The BDSM Library has an entire section devoted to previous discussions of the topic.

 

[esales]

There could be several reasons why both men and women like breath play. Most times it is the fantasy of being out of control. Often times it is the anticipation of fear which most times is worse the the fear itself.

 

[BiBunny]

Umm...I like it 'cause it feels good. Never put much more thought into it than that.

 

[graceanne]

It's a control thing for me. I think. Probably all the stuff CM mentioned helps. But mostly it's the whole control thing that gets me hot.

 

[Adakgirl]

I myself would freak-out if my breath was cut off for any reason. But I imagine it is the feeling of complete loss of control and the excitement of someone else having the power in their hands at that moment to allow you to live, or to kill you.

 

[VelvetDarkness]

It gives an adrenaline rush and the hypoxia makes you feel light headed, faint and euphoric. Hypoxia causes muscle spasms or convulsions and this can add to sexual stimulation and kick it up a gear, leaving the body more sensitive and heightened. Mix this with sexual stimulation and you have the recipe for a very powerful climax. It's all about the control and many people find the knowledge that it carries risk sexually arousing. It takes a great degree of trust to allow someone to control your breathing and that causes strong feelings of connection and bonding with the PYL.

One of the reasons choking does this so quickly is that not only is breathing obstructed but so are the veins in the neck so O2 doesn't enter the body and its transport to the brain is also interrupted. This is the riskiest form of breathplay because the veins and the structure of the neck are very delicate and vulnerable and the onset of hypoxia is very swift. A safer way to dabble in breathplay is to cover the mouth and nose. This just halts breathing, while leaving bloodflow to/from the brain unimpeded. It takes longer to bring about the same euphoria but because the process is slower, it can be monitored more closely.

Hypoxia is basically a bad idea. Brain cell death can occur and once you lose grey matter as an adult, it's gone forever so over time, cumulative damage can occur. Choking a pyl too hard/long can also cause little veins in the face to burst, causing an affect that looks like blood red freckles. I know this because Master and I achieved it once by getting carried away while slightly tipsy. Breathplay always carries risk but going near your SO's throat while under the influence is a bad idea. You wouldn't drive your car so don't put her life into the same pair of hands.

As others have said, the blank manual has some excellent info on breathplay.

 

[AmeliaHolster]

That was so informative, VelvetDarkness, thank you!

I've gotten really interested in this lately - after I realized how turned on I was when my air was cut off while I was giving my man oral. It became sort of a game for me to try to go a little longer each time.

I've always liked to be held by the neck - not hurt, just controlled. When I told H about all this, he started going a little bit harder each time with the hand on the neck - which also turned me on until my mind was taken off the sex itself and onto worrying if he'd know when he was really hurting me or whatnot. Having your mind anywhere else is never a good thing, so we laid off that (but not with the cock).

I'm glad to know now that stragulation isn't something we should try again some day.

 

[Homburg]

I really wish this was not so common a turn-on. Strangulation is bad business, even in play. A hand on the throat is fine, but anything beyond some very basic light squeezing is asking for huge trouble. And the people that do breathplay to the edge of unconsciousness (or, worse, beyond) are asking for all sorts of fun things like brain damage, heart failure, veins bursting as Velvet mentioned, etc.

A hand over the mouth and nose works just fine, or Netz' trick of a plastic bag over the head with a good-sized hole in the back that she holds closed. Breath control can be done without chancing trauma to the throat.

 

[ZRT]

I induced a full-on seizure with it once. As much as I love it, once I learned the risks I had to walk away. Rictus grins aren't sexy, either. (Well, to me.)

Your choice, but as said before it's pretty damned dangerous. Tweaking that vagus nerve is like playing Russian Roulette.

 

[Homburg]

I've induced a seizure too. Admittedly, my incident involved full-contact mixed martial arts, but it was still scary. Doubly so because the person seizing was a really good friend of mine.

 

[ZRT]

I've induced a seizure too. Admittedly, my incident involved full-contact mixed martial arts, but it was still scary. Doubly so because the person seizing was a really good friend of mine.

Yeah, that's why chokeholds are typically prohibited.

It's an addiction for me, so I have to be careful. Controlling airflow is about as close to total control as you can get, and it induces such delicious franticness. So I just go the 'light squeeze' route to keep it safe, assuming I have an obliging playmate with a penchant for acting.

 

[Homburg]

Yeah, that's why chokeholds are typically prohibited.

It's an addiction for me, so I have to be careful. Controlling airflow is about as close to total control as you can get, and it induces such delicious franticness. So I just go the 'light squeeze' route to keep it safe, assuming I have an obliging playmate with a penchant for acting.

Heh, well, it was unplanned. I'd been rolled into a "tight package" but managed to keep a shoulder up by virtue of getting my fist wound up in the collar of his top. My other hand was holding onto his jacket somewhere, but I had no idea where, I was pulling with the bottom hand to unbalance him, and pushing straightarmed with the top to keep him off me. Somehow I managed to get opposite lapels, and made an accidental sliding lapel choke.

The instructor was the one that figured out that he'd gone out, as I couldn't see him from where I was. All I knew what that he'd suddenly figured out how to sink his weight REALLY well.

Once the instructor called a hold, I couldn't really extract myself. He'd packaged me pretty damned well, and I was tangled up in his kurtka top. By the time help arrived, I was still getting out from under him. Then he started seizing. Scary.

 

[ZRT]

Heh, well, it was unplanned. I'd been rolled into a "tight package" but managed to keep a shoulder up by virtue of getting my fist wound up in the collar of his top. My other hand was holding onto his jacket somewhere, but I had no idea where, I was pulling with the bottom hand to unbalance him, and pushing straightarmed with the top to keep him off me. Somehow I managed to get opposite lapels, and made an accidental sliding lapel choke.

The instructor was the one that figured out that he'd gone out, as I couldn't see him from where I was. All I knew what that he'd suddenly figured out how to sink his weight REALLY well.

Once the instructor called a hold, I couldn't really extract myself. He'd packaged me pretty damned well, and I was tangled up in his kurtka top. By the time help arrived, I was still getting out from under him. Then he started seizing. Scary.

Heh. "Sorry about accidentally nearly killing you." just really doesn't cover it well, does it?

 

[Homburg]

Heh. "Sorry about accidentally nearly killing you." just really doesn't cover it well, does it?

No, not really. I did hang out with him for a coupla hours afterwards to make sure he was cool to drive. No long-term injuries, so that was a plus. Still not fun.