6 Types of Men a Woman Should Avoid

[Liar]

6. Even men with chicken pox.

How about uneven men with chicken pox?

 

[Guest]

Back in the days when I provided therapy, I'd frequently work with women who had absolutely horrendous taste in men. We'd get around to discussing things to look for in a man, so I devised a quick thumbnail sketch of basic requirements. No catchy titles tonight, though-- too tired.

1. No major felony convictions.
2. Not under investigation by the FBI, DEA, CIA, or Homeland Security (actually, I added Homeland Security just now; trying to stay current, y'know).
3. No active substance abuse/dependence problem.
4. No major mental illness such as paranoid schizophrenia, severe affective disorder, or delusional disorder.
5. No known history of serial murder/rape/child abuse or molestation.
6. Not HIV positive.
7. Gainfully employed.
8. If beyond age 25, does NOT live with his mother.
9. Capable of, and willing to, carry on a coherent conversation.

Many of the women seemed astonished that men like this actually existed...

 

[rgraham666]

I flunk four and seven.

 

[cloudy]

I flunk four and seven.

And my brother - a multimillionaire with his own plane, three homes, and his own software company - flunks number one.

No rules are absolute.

 

[Guest]

And my brother - a multimillionaire with his own plane, three homes, and his own software company - flunks number one.

No rules are absolute.

Nope, but they're handy. Certainly there are exceptions. What do you suppose are the odds of meeting an exception?

 

[cloudy]

Nope, but they're handy. Certainly there are exceptions. What do you suppose are the odds of meeting an exception?

I'm not saying they're not handy, but one has to have the sense to know when to make an exception.

 

[TheeGoatPig]

The only one I fail is living with my parents.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Oh, Bravo! These are great, especially the titles. You should be a writer

Thanks! I considered it once, before I became a full-time blogger....

 

[xssve]

 

[Guest]

I'm not saying they're not handy, but one has to have the sense to know when to make an exception.

But that was the point, Cloudy; the women I was working with didn't have a great deal of sense about men or relationships.

I suppose it's a YMMV situation, but it's also a cautionary note to anyone--female or male. Unless you can swim pretty well, don't jump into deep water to save someone who's drowning. The likely outcome is that you'll both drown.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Back in the days when I provided therapy, I'd frequently work with women who had absolutely horrendous taste in men. We'd get around to discussing things to look for in a man, so I devised a quick thumbnail sketch of basic requirements. No catchy titles tonight, though-- too tired.

1. No major felony convictions.
2. Not under investigation by the FBI, DEA, CIA, or Homeland Security (actually, I added Homeland Security just now; trying to stay current, y'know).
3. No active substance abuse/dependence problem.
4. No major mental illness such as paranoid schizophrenia, severe affective disorder, or delusional disorder.
5. No known history of serial murder/rape/child abuse or molestation.
6. Not HIV positive.
7. Gainfully employed.
8. If beyond age 25, does NOT live with his mother.
9. Capable of, and willing to, carry on a coherent conversation.

Many of the women seemed astonished that men like this actually existed...

I wish you would've been my therapist, because I think the only ones I haven't dated are 5&6. I THINK.

 

[xssve]

I wish I lived in my Grandmothers basement, it was hella Goth.

 

[xssve]

 

[carsonshepherd]

Let us not forget Poor Me. Poor me, I had such a bad childhood, you should feel sorry for me and make up for everything horrible that my mother did to me, and never get mad at me because it makes me feel so hurt. You should also do whatever I say because that means you love me.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Let us not forget Poor Me. Poor me, I had such a bad childhood, you should feel sorry for me and make up for everything horrible that my mother did to me, and never get mad at me because it makes me feel so hurt. You should also do whatever I say because that means you love me.

Can I get a pretentious fuckwit with a side of mommy issues, please?

 

[OhMissScarlett]

The forum is haunted, just like your grandma's basement.

 

[Xelebes]

Well, "Ow!" was as close to that as I could get in text

Oh? So you're not fond of the repetition of vowels ad infinitum followed by peculiar voiceless glottal fricatives and gutteral consonants?

 

[Xelebes]

I flunk four and seven.

Add 9 for me.

Unless you can count passing notes as having a conversation. I actually have difficulties holding a conversation or a conversation consisting of 3 or 4 responses. Yay, Aspergers.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

Let us not forget Poor Me. Poor me, I had such a bad childhood, you should feel sorry for me and make up for everything horrible that my mother did to me, and never get mad at me because it makes me feel so hurt. You should also do whatever I say because that means you love me.

Hah. I avoided a lot of women who were like that. Sadly, for every guy who avoids her, 9 other guys will settle for her.

C'mon, someone tell me that ain't true...

 

[Guest]

Add 9 for me.

Unless you can count passing notes as having a conversation. I actually have difficulties holding a conversation or a conversation consisting of 3 or 4 responses. Yay, Aspergers.

We're there.

The internet has been a good thing for our family in that regard.

 

[OhMissScarlett]

Hah. I avoided a lot of women who were like that. Sadly, for every guy who avoids her, 9 other guys will settle for her.

C'mon, someone tell me that ain't true...

You're completely right. I've been with men and women both who are like this. Whether it's ex issues, mommy issues, daddy issues, bully issues, clergy issues...it's best to avoid a mate who lets their issues be the excuse to mistrust and mistreat you at every turn. Don't feel sorry for them, just move on.

 

[xssve]

I seem to attract "fixers", gah.

 

[Le Jacquelope]

You're completely right. I've been with men and women both who are like this. Whether it's ex issues, mommy issues, daddy issues, bully issues, clergy issues...it's best to avoid a mate who lets their issues be the excuse to mistrust and mistreat you at every turn. Don't feel sorry for them, just move on.

I wish more guys would take that advice.

On a side note, does anyone but me notice that most of the time someone opens a thread about the evils of one gender or another, it's always about evil men?

The day 3113 opens a thread saying something about what kind of women to avoid is the day Rush Limbaugh admits he's gay...

 

[OhMissScarlett]

I wish more guys would take that advice.

On a side note, does anyone but me notice that most of the time someone opens a thread about the evils of one gender or another, it's always about evil men?

The day 3113 opens a thread saying something about what kind of women to avoid is the day Rush Limbaugh admits he's gay...

Well, to be fair, the article quoted only mentions men and she did ask for the men of the AH to give their opinion on what sort of women to avoid.

 

[carsonshepherd]

On a side note, does anyone but me notice that most of the time someone opens a thread about the evils of one gender or another, it's always about evil men?

Boo hoo. Women didn't even get to VOTE in this country until 1920. Suck it up.