The SCOURIES reader – for both fans and serious scholars…

[slyc_willie]

How appropriate is that? The first post of a new page taken by a spammer.

 

[TxRad]

How appropriate is that? The first post of a new page taken by a spammer.

Spammer?

I thought it was an excerpt from Scouries newest story.

 

[slyc_willie]

Spammer?

I thought it was an excerpt from Scouries newest story.

Might as well have been.

Alas, it was deleted. Scouries will never know what he missed . . . .

 

[michchick98]

I suggest you try Methimazole.

It is recommended by many vets to treat hyperactive kittens

Yeah, you'd know all about medicines for pussies, wouldn't you butch?

Then again, maybe not. It seems you're lacking on your regular dosages of your meds.

 

[freshface]

I suggest you try Methimazole.

It is recommended by many vets to treat hyperactive kittens with MPD (Multiple Personality Disorder). But you should not use it for pregnant or nursing animals. Not that you have to worry about that, Selena. But I'm sure we'll get the pictures anyway.

Um...No. It's used to treat hyperthyroidism in older cats. Not at all appropriate for kittens and MPD is definitely not a feline disease. Do try to be accurate in your postings.

 

[Guest]

****computer Alert *** Computer Alert ***

11:55 a.m., Sunday, February 8, 2009
ScouriesWorldComputer HO
Miami Beach, Florida
AUTOMATED COMPUTER RESPONSE

[size=+2]

***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***ATTENTION***​

[/size]

PLEASE BE ADVISED THAT ANOTHER POSTER [SIZE=+2]oily[/size], (a well known contest cheater by the way) ON THE FAMED SCOURIES THREAD HAS BEEN JUDGED BY THE ScouriesWorld COMPUTER TO BE INCAPABLE OF MAKING A POST THAT MEETS THE STANDARDS OF THIS THREAD. HE/SHE HAS BEEN PLACED ON THE MENTALLY CHALLENGED POSTERS LIST, HIS/HER NAME HAS BEEN REPORTED TO THE ROYALS, AND WE SUGGEST YOU IGNORE HIS/HER POST.

THANK YOU!

[SIZE=+2]MENTALLY CHALLENGED “SCOURIES THREAD” POSTERS LIST[/SIZE]
(those so far identified as such by the ScouriesWord computers)

[SIZE=+2]banana boy
miss hick
darkboy
miss odious
oily ​

[/SIZE]

 

[Darkniciad]

Another member in the "La la la la! I can't hear you! Go away scary reality!" list!

You must be having a hell of a time keeping track of the nosedive on that god-awful thing scouries calls a story that he has out right now, 'Gabby'. I'm surprised you have time to do anything but that.

Now seems like a good time to bring back some of scouries' greatest hits!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=27881971#post27881971

And what the fuck’s with these Europeans all of a sudden? Germany? Finland? my friend flicka :caning: asks pardon for her English but she’s made like 15,000 effing posts! If she'd read a few of my stories maybe her english would improve!

And what’s the krauts problem?

They hate us when things are going good over there but as soon as they’ve got a problem they come running for help from good ole uncle sam. They’re happy to take our tourist dollars aren’t they?

They don’t even know what real football is and they’re criticizing me?

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=26809828&postcount=2389

2 – Bathe every morning after you get out of bed. And don’t forget your hair. I know that the Irish aren’t the most mindful group of people when it comes to personal hygiene but it’s important…both for your wellbeing and to those around you.

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=23614124&postcount=774

And what humans would be allowed to star in these tales? Definitely the Aussies and the Scots to start with. There is a long tradition of human/sheep relations in both countries. All Mormons.

No Blacks! We’ve had enough of that racist bullshit for the last couple of hundred years in America. No need to encourage any more.

And even if we’re at war with them I think we should give the Arabs a pass at the beginning. There are enough Camel Jockey jokes going around already.

Of course the French. They’re generally not so clean and think they are the world’s greatest lovers. Let’s see them prove it with our furry friends. They and the Poles have a well documented history of eating Horse.

No English! They have enough problems figuring out what to do in the bedroom without complicating things even further. No Canadians either. They’re far too dull to be believable as swashbuckling mammal mounters.

Italians yes! Lets see how long those bum pinching lotharios last when they try to grab some Kangeroo butt.

No Chinese, even if they do spend half the day eating live insects. We definitely don’t want any ‘Year of the Rat’ in our fantasies. But their Japanese neighbors would be welcomed. They’ve been eating raw Blowfish forever.

Indians (the real ones) would be ideal candidates for inclusion. They have a long history of half animal/ half human gods. (Have you ever seen the elephant trunk on Lord Ganesh? How do you think he got it anyway?)

As to the Irish …no, it’s not even worth contemplating them.

http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=23602566&postcount=749

And your Just contrary that way simply highlights one of the major problems facing America these days – women who haven’t been brought up correctly and who have too much free time on their hands. Flatulent???

 

[scouries]

votes....

QUOTE mr heat The sweeps have arrived on my stories. Story one votes down from a high of 450 to 282 ….When all is said and done it doesn't seem to make a big difference in my score.

Thank god for you Mr. Heat!

Without your reports of stolen votes I don’t think I could even continue posting contest stories. Apparently you’re the only fellow LITEROTICAN who regularly suffers the same fate as I. My latest, up less than two days, seems to be losing votes almost as fast as it’s receiving them.

On the one hand I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else, yet on the other, somehow your vote loss assuages my own.

I can’t decide which is better – to post a story the first day of the contest and get to love my little votelets over a two to three week period (I’ve tried this system in the past), or to post it the last day of the contest (which I did this time) and have the little lovelies kidnapped and slaughtered before I grow to love them.

And the funniest thing is that I, like you, never see my “average score” change much as all these nefarious votes are swept away to be butchered.


I’m james r scouries and I hate losing votes…

[size=+2]Dolphins love voters…[/size]

 

[scouries]

comments...

QUOTE some babe Any particular reason why they allow votes and comments by "Anonymous"?.. And I know that not everyone who posts anonymously is rude or has an agenda (I've received some very encouraging anonymous feedback

QUOTE freddie My complaining about so called anonymous feedback fell on deaf ears when the nice folks here at Literotica called me a whinner... You just need to read some of the comments posted to writers' stories, writers who work hard at crafting their stories, writers who pour out their hearts, only to have some emotional disturbed person, who thinks it's funny and who thinks they are smart, leave their shit behind.

With free speech aside, I don't understand why Laurel would want her site, a site that could be a much greater place for reader and writer, to be destroyed by those who, generally, don't contribute anything to the site by writing a story.

I think it's time that every writer who has been bashed anonymously banned together and complain to the only one who can make a positive change to this site, Laurel

I love my old friend freddie . He’s a great guy! Except when he gets back on this ‘anonymous commenter’ bullshit and starts whinning.

First off freddie , lets not just leave free speech aside. This is mister bleeding heart asking us to leave free speech aside? C’mon man!

We writers need “anonymous commenters”. Way, way more than they need us!

One of the greatest problems with this site is that so few readers let us know what they think of our stories – whether good or bad. Someone told me that the average LITEROTICA story only receives 1.74 comments.

The other great problem with this site is that so few of the comments that are made are negative (positive comments outnumber negative ones 8 to 1).

I’m afraid freddie that your suggestion would exacerbate both of these problems. We’d have both fewer total comments made and less honest critiques of our work.

Without solving the small problem that exists. Yes there are some mean spirited comments posted freddie , but I (and I think you too) realized long ago that it’s not the general reading public that posts them, its instead mean spirited AH authors who make the majority of them.

Your log-in proposal will do nothing to these people – they’ll always exist.

What it will do is cut we authors off from our real readers. A really stupid idea!

Mr Heat said it best: I don't really have a problem with Anonymous comments. Most seem to be positive. There are those few out there that just want to cause trouble and can just be ignored. If you are really disturbed with them, they can always be deleted.

Amen!

I’m james r scouries and I love comments…

[size=+2]Dolphins love commenters…[/size]

 

[michchick98]

Apparently you’re the only fellow LITEROTICAN who regularly suffers the same fate as I.

Hasn't this been discussed on this thread as well as others before? You two aren't the only ones who experience the vote loss during contests. Many others have said the same and no amount of analyzing it will change it so get over it already.

 

[slyc_willie]

Another member in the "La la la la! I can't hear you! Go away scary reality!" list!

You must be having a hell of a time keeping track of the nosedive on that god-awful thing scouries calls a story that he has out right now, 'Gabby'. I'm surprised you have time to do anything but that.

Now seems like a good time to bring back some of scouries' greatest hits!

http://forum.literotica.com/showthread.php?p=27881971#post27881971



http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=26809828&postcount=2389



http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=23614124&postcount=774



http://forum.literotica.com/showpost.php?p=23602566&postcount=749

I'll thank the little kid (a.k.a. scouries) for including me in his list of "people I'd rather not hear from." We're all a damn sight better at story telling than he is.

Take a deep breath, kid, and realize that this is me laughing at you.

This is, after all, a funny little comedy thread. You must have noticed, as OCD about numbers as you are, the amount of views versus the actual posts here. That just shows how many people read this thread for the comedy value, but don't post because there's little point.

Me, I just like pointing out certain details.

Go ahead and stick your foot in your mouth over and over. I hope it will suffice since you can't bend over far enough to suck yourself off. Or maybe "sarahhh" will do the honors for you. I don't think I need to point out out how ironic the phrase "go fuck yourself" is applied to that end.

Now I think I'll get back to rigging the next contest, since I, so far down on the Favorites list, seem to have so much more clout than Lit's supposedly number one author. How incredibly insulting it must be to attend the "queen's" court on a weekly basis only to be beaten down by someone such as I.

I guess that makes you Literotica's jester, then.

 

[scouries]

finally some sun and warmth in sobe....

QUOTE DARKBOY Why, scouries, I thought you were the master of lists…Official Literotica lists always take a back seat to your manufactured lists full of trumped up numbers that place you at the top….Not surprising, considering how few times your name appears in any official Literotica lists…

Well, speaking of lists darkboy :

I’m going to tell you a secret little guy – I’m pretty happy to be where I am. On the “favoritest” list, on the “most comments” list, on the “favoritest story” list, on the “1000+ vote club” list…

… however, I do have to admit that there is one list where I’m not so happy with my spot… the “most read” list.

It was a list I’d never heard of in my first year or so on the site.

And when I accidentally discovered it I didn’t think much of it because I figured I’d never make it.

But then, miracle of miracles, first one, then a second of my stories showed promise of making the list. I started to pay a little more attention to it. Then I was pleasantly surprised when I made the TOP 500 of all time. Me? Out of like 400,000 stories. Then it happened a second time.

Life was good in ScouriesWorld!

But then the stories continued to climb … and climb… the sixth page … the fifth page … the fourth page … my readers wouldn’t be satisfied.

I’ll admit it darkboy – I started to get greedy! Me of all people if you can believe it. I kept going up. The third page … the second page … then finally the first page. I was in heaven! Except…

…Except something was still wrong!

I don’t know about your computer but on mine (and I haven’t tried it with any others) when I click open the MOST READ list I only see the first nineteen stories (and just a hint of number twenty at the very bottom of the page). And where do you think mine happens to be? You guessed it! #20!

20 - 1,465,299 – "Ohhh...Mommy," I Groaned – scouries 12/17/06

So for total happiness to reign in ScouriesWorld that story has to climb one more place … just one for god’s sake … please LAUREL … MANU, could you help me out here?


I’m james r scouries and I love lists…

[size=+2]Dolphins love lists too…[/size]

 

[michchick98]

I’m going to tell you a secret little guy – I’m pretty happy to be where I am. On the “favoritest” list, on the “most comments” list, on the “favoritest story” list, on the “1000+ vote club” list…

He's talking about OFFICIAL lists, maintained by LITEROTICA, not you or your blow-up doll alt, dumbshit. So your assinine 1000 comments list and most comments lists don't count.

I’ll admit it darkboy – I started to get greedy! Me of all people if you can believe it.

Yeah, we believe you're not greedy about as much as we believe Gabby is a real person.

 

[michchick98]

Oh and scouries? Just in case you were wondering what a GOOD review looks like, here's one for you to read:

http://manicreaders.com/index.cfm?di...ws&bookid=2301

Imagine that? And, I make REAL royalties, too, not Monopoly money. *gasp* What a concept!

 

[Guest]

he's so wonderul...

Hi, it’s [size=+2]Gabby[/size] again,

In association with this wonderful site run by​

[size=+2]

“HER MAJESTY QUEEN LAUREL III and HER CONSORT, MANU the MAGNIFICENT

​

[/size]

I’m pleased to announce​

[size=+2]

* * * MORE REALLY GREAT NEWS * * *​

[/size]

We’ve found another ONE!! The 145th story in the history of LITEROTICA that has received 1000 VOTES!!

And it comes from my wonderful boss! Yes, none other than

[SIZE=+2]

james r scouries

[/SIZE]​

for his 2005 story:

[size=+2]

Gayle’s Dad

​

[/size]

Yes he’s done it again! And in doing so he becomes only the second LITEROTICAN to have ten (10) 1000+ VOTE stories. This story is perhaps the perfect story for those readers who want to explore the authors early years. This is the raw, powerful, orgasmic scouries who burst onto the LITEROTICA scene back in 2005.

I’d suggest you read this book immediately. Then vote and send mr. scouries your comment. A quarter of a million readers can’t be wrong.

[size=+2]Gabriella L.[/size]
Club Sectretary, “1000+ VOTE CLUB”

 

[michchick98]

Hi, it’s [size=+2]Gabby, the blow-up doll [/size] again,

In no way associated with this wonderful site run by​

[size=+2]

“HER MAJESTY QUEEN LAUREL III and HER CONSORT, MANU the MAGNIFICENT,

[/size] no matter how much I kiss their asses....​

[size=+2]Gabriella L.[/size]
Club Sectretary, Blow-up doll and fuck-toy extraordinaire

Yeah, much better.

 

[Guest]

and you're spending them wisely dearie...

QUOTE miss hick And, I make REAL royalties, too, not Monopoly money…

Good for you sweetie! Lets all hope that you’ll be able to afford indoor plumbing soon dear.

And I just want to tell you that we’ve removed your name from the “Mentally Challenged” list for the balance of February. As we explained in our e-mail: “as soon as your monthly ScouriesWorld purchases hit $500.00 you’re deemed too smart for the list” and with your order yesterday you’ve crossed the intelligence barrier.

Of course on March 1st you’ll revert to your previous status and will stay there until you again buy $500.00 of our wonderful products.

Gabrielle L.

 

[michchick98]

QUOTE miss hick And, I make REAL royalties, too, not Monopoly money…

Good for you sweetie! Lets all hope that you’ll be able to afford indoor plumbing soon dear.

And I just want to tell you that we’ve removed your name from the “Mentally Challenged” list for the balance of February. As we explained in our e-mail: “as soon as your monthly ScouriesWorld purchases hit $500.00 you’re deemed too smart for the list” and with your order yesterday you’ve crossed the intelligence barrier.

Of course on March 1st you’ll revert to your previous status and will stay there until you again buy $500.00 of our wonderful products.

Gabrielle L.

I won't be buying anymore toilet paper for awhile, airhead, I have plenty, but thanks anyway. Leave me on your stupid list as long as you want, I'd rather be there, I'm in good company. Cuz I know every time you post that list, someone has hit too close to the truth for your liking.

Wait, what's that noise?








Uh oh...sounds like you sprung a leak again, you might wanna go find the plumbers putty and patch that hole before it gets........










Oh, too late, you've deflated again. Pity.

 

[TxRad]

James R Scouries is not affiliated with Literotica or its management in any way. His opinions are his own and are not generally shared by the thousands of users of this site.

Grand_High_Poobah is an alternate identity used by James R Scouries, so talking to the blow up rubber doll named gabby is the same as talking to him.

ScouriesWorld is a figment of James R Scouries imagination, as no such place exits. Not in this space continuum anyway.

 

[scouries]

Threadmaster...

QUOTE oily We're all a damn sight better at story telling than he is… You must have noticed the amount of views versus the actual posts here. That just shows how many people read this thread, many of whom of course don't post because they’re not smart enough…Now I think I'll get back to rigging the next contest, since I, so far down on the Favorites list..

Yes you are far down, in fact far, far down, which of course explains why you had to do what you did. It must have been embarrassing for you though, to be caught out by your own posts like that.

However, perhaps inadvertently, you have highlighted one of the things that makes the scouries thread, of which I’m the THREADMASTER, the highest rated on the site.

As most people know, the VIEW to POST (V/P) figure is a very important ratio in evaluating just how high a thread is rated!

But, as usual, you’ve got it ass backwards. The higher the figure the better. It’s an integral element of the MANUSIAN THREAD VALUATION EQUATION used to determine each individual thread’s POWER RATING.

I don’t want to confuse you with the complete formula (it would definitely be beyond your grasp oily), instead I’ll just confirm that the SCOURIES THREAD V/P Ratio was one of the main reasons that my thread had the #1 LITEROTICA THREAD POWER RATING for the year 2008!

Which of course helped when we sat down to negotiate the 2009/10 ROYALTY contract.

I’m james r scouries and I love lists…

[size=+2]Dolphins love lists too…[/size]

 

[Darkniciad]

Which of course helped when we sat down to negotiate the 2009/10 ROYALTY contract.

I can see it now... scouries sitting between two inflateable lovelies with glasses taped to their faces and pencils taped to their hands. Across the table, two cardboard cutouts labeled 'Laurel' and 'Manu'. In the middle, a much disputed pile of monopoly money.

The sad thing is that he's still the least intelligent person at the table.

 

[slyc_willie]

QUOTE oily We're all a damn sight better at story telling than he is… You must have noticed the amount of views versus the actual posts here. That just shows how many people read this thread, many of whom of course don't post because they’re not smart enough…Now I think I'll get back to rigging the next contest, since I, so far down on the Favorites list..

Yes you are far down, in fact far, far down, which of course explains why you had to do what you did. It must have been embarrassing for you though, to be caught out by your own posts like that.

However, perhaps inadvertently, you have highlighted one of the things that makes the scouries thread, of which I’m the THREADMASTER, the highest rated on the site.

As most people know, the VIEW to POST (V/P) figure is a very important ratio in evaluating just how high a thread is rated!

But, as usual, you’ve got it ass backwards. The higher the figure the better. It’s an integral element of the MANUSIAN THREAD VALUATION EQUATION used to determine each individual thread’s POWER RATING.

I don’t want to confuse you with the complete formula (it would definitely be beyond your grasp oily), instead I’ll just confirm that the SCOURIES THREAD V/P Ratio was one of the main reasons that my thread had the #1 LITEROTICA THREAD POWER RATING for the year 2008!

Which of course helped when we sat down to negotiate the 2009/10 ROYALTY contract.

I’m james r scouries and I love lists…

[size=+2]Dolphins love lists too…[/size]

Wow. Took you all day to think that up, kiddo.

No addressing the actual point, of course, which is that you possess such an incurable lack of skill when it comes to character development and scene definition. As usual, you skirt around the edges until you find a relatively soft spot.

We all know that there is no actual "formula" for what you described. If there was, your appallingly pathetic ego would not let you share at least a few details, in the mistaken belief that some people would be intimidated by them.

You know, jimmy boy, you should stick with what you know most. And that is . . . .

Hold on, I'm thinking.

Damn. Guess you really don't know anything.

I wish I could say I'm surprised.

Regarding royalties . . . count 'em up, dude. Go right ahead. Good thing you don't have anyone in your life to spend money on. I can only imagine the embarrassment you suffer when you have to compromise the idea of your supposed wealth with the reality. Good thing Gabby can't talk, eh?

Oh, by the way . . . the Dolphins don't stand a chance. And I don't even follow American football.

Hey, kiddo, is that a bubble over your head?

*POP*

Anyway, time for bed. I suggest you take another look at Dark's commentary on your story. He's actually being very gracious and unbiased. That just makes your reaction that much more hilarious.

I'll await your next non-earning best seller with as much excitement as I can muster.

Try not to take so long in responding directly. As Threadmaster, you really need to keep a closer eye on your Neverland fairy tale fantasy.

 

[Darkniciad]

Anyway, time for bed. I suggest you take another look at Dark's commentary on your story. He's actually being very gracious and unbiased. That just makes your reaction that much more hilarious.

No, actually it wasn't gracious. Gracious is for people who don't claim to be #1, and can actually comprehend criticism. Our dear sock-puppet king gets a hammer, because that's what it takes.

Unbiased -- I wouldn't say that either. I go into any scouries story expecting that I'm not going to like it. His characters are flat, and all sound like him. The plots are thin, and the tension lurches from "no" to "fuck me" within paragraphs. The last couple I've read didn't even have enough slapped in heat to salvage it as a stroker trying to be a story. Never mind the grammar.

Unfortunately, this one was beyond horrible. It should be an embarrassment to even scouries, which is saying a lot.

I don't think I could have found anything good to say about this one if it was from a complete newbie who spoke English as a second language.

 

[BOSTONFICTIONWRITER]

I can see it now... scouries sitting between two inflateable lovelies with glasses taped to their faces and pencils taped to their hands. Across the table, two cardboard cutouts labeled 'Laurel' and 'Manu'. In the middle, a much disputed pile of monopoly money.

The sad thing is that he's still the least intelligent person at the table.

Laurel wears glasses? I figured Manu did, but not Laurel. Well, maybe reading glasses. Wow. I learn so much from reading this thread. Thanks.

 

[Selena_Kitt]

Laurel wears glasses? I figured Manu did, but not Laurel. Well, maybe reading glasses. Wow. I learn so much from reading this thread. Thanks.

You really should check your login before you post BFW/PositiveStinker... you're blowing your cover all over the place, ya know?